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_x.anime.x

My experience

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_x.anime.x

I was in a relationship with him and it was sexual however I decided I didn't want it like that anymore so i asked him if for a while we couldn't do anything more than kissing he said that was fine but then a few days later he grabbed my ass and chest whenever he felt like through out the day though I never said anything as i was scared but then a few days later he put his hand down my shorts i slapped it and said sorry im not in the mood and he said but your wearing those shorts and laughed so i laughed and played it off as a joke it was a good few weeks but then out of nowhere he started touching me more and this time it was just a hand down my shorts I was so scared I hated every second of it but all I was thinking was you can't say no or stop what will he think what if he leaves you and you can't loose him you need him and so it carried on like this me and him were having sex and i was quietly hating it until one time I whispered no it took so much courage just to say that one no but he carried on i started crying and I just turned my head but everything else from that one day is a blur to me except this horrible feeling and now that we are over ive realised how much the things he was doing to me effected me however I still blame myself partially for never really speaking up and I was wondering whether its normal to just take it and whether this is actually sexual assult or is it just a misunderstanding 

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_x.anime.x

it wasn't just sorry there are a few typos 

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VickySGV

It was sexual assault, and you need to go get some counseling to help you understand what happened and how you can go forward.  You and the counselor can decide if you want to take to law enforcement, or you can go directly to your law enforcement but they will probably direct you to counseling.  Once one partner has said NO it is no longer consensual and remains that way until they respond YES, not until then.  You told him the physical relation had boundaries and he went beyond those boundaries. 

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Lexi C

Hey X.

Yeah Vicky right, but if the cops in England any thing like the once here. They B.S you and try to make you less of a victim and more of the cause to problem. " Why did you continue in the relatioship?." Did you scream NO or did think you said no?"

It all B.S get out of there find a friend or fam and do want Vicky suggested and get some help consensual therapy and if you willing to fight a good Lawyer. Keep us post, Be strong..its NOT YOUR FAULT..you did everything right and he didn't care..Much lv

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_x.anime.x

Thanks to you both im scared to talk up as my parents do not know about it and honestly I'd feel bad to impact his life hugely for a mistake he made a 14 i wanna get some help i just dont know where  

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Jackie C.

That's unacceptable behavior @_x.anime.x. Vicky is absolutely right. You were assaulted by someone who should have been loving, supportive and accepting. You're better off without him.

 

Might I suggest a therapist or a sexual assault survivors support group? I'm on the wrong side of the Atlantic, so I don't really know what's available in your area. The big takeaway is that this is all on him. You were frightened and you were attacked. You didn't do anything wrong. He's the bad guy.

 

We're always here if you need to talk (in a PG-13 manner because rules).

 

Hugs!

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_x.anime.x

Thanks @Jackie C. I'm unsure on where to go I dont kniw any sexual assult support groups and honestly I feel petty talking about considering others have gone through much worse so if I went to one I'd feel as though I was mocking there experiences 

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Jackie C.

Assault is assault. You were terrified while a man pawed at you. Group sessions aren't a competition. They're about mutual support and healing.

 

Hugs!

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VickySGV
3 hours ago, _x.anime.x said:

petty talking about considering others have gone through much worse so if I went to one I'd feel as though I was mocking there experiences 

 

Quite to the contrary, you most likely will find that your experience actually was as serious as theirs and you are not an intruder seeking low pity. There are a wide range of reasons why you may not recognize what the actions really were and how they impacted you.  You need to work on how to respect yourself and how to communicate that respect with others.  That will help build your self esteem and self love to where you can deal with this.  As Jackie C said groups are about healing, not "my dog is meaner than your dog" type of things.  I would suggest going to your school counseling service to start it.  We need to find ways for YOU to become THE BEST YOU which is a fantastic and wonderful person which you may not feel like, but it VERY TRUE.

 

I do know sadly that parents can be terrible in times like these because they feel it happened to you through their fault, and will blame you for not being in total touch with their wisdom and that it happened because you disobeyed them.  That is total hogwash (from a parent who got some counseling when it happened to their child.) and in time their view will change if they get help dealing with it, and they can fully assure you of their love for you then.  School Counselor is probably the best way to go. 

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_x.anime.x

I will try with a school counsellor and see how it goes i want to thank you both for you support as its been rough ti even realised that it happened thank so much and im always here to talk if you guys are ever feeling down 

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Lexi C

X your 14..Fourteen!!!!! .....that's assault. To be honest with you. It's rape. You need to report  this immediately to the police, parents anyone that will listen and help you. Your young I can see where your coming from.

X say he dose this to someone else. I know it's hard and i don't know you, But i will bet anything that you amazing inner strength. So use that amazing courage and strength and get this perp out of the human pool before he dose this to some one else. Your a beautiful human and I am very honor you have the will and courage to open up to us. Much lv i am always here if you want to em and talk. Be Safe, Be Proud and KICK ASS

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_x.anime.x

Awww thanks so much that helps its really hard to admit it to myself let alone open up but if he did it to someone else I'd feel really guilty so I will try really really hard to open up about it so no one else goes though what I did im 15 now its been a year since it all happened 

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Lexi C

Well I love your courage. I been there and it took a while and with some therapy to stop feeling ashamed and guilty that i didn't say anything because i know he did again and i could have stop it. However, when i finally spoke up he was arrest and now his in jail...So use the courage that raw's inside you. much lv here if u need me

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_x.anime.x

Thanks so much and I appreciate hearing your story upur do strong to have spoken up about it and I hope you know that the only person at fault is him much lv

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Lexi C

you too..much lv...Actually i hate that saying. How's ty for letting me be part of yrs life journey.  

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_x.anime.x

I like the sound of that so thanks 

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