Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Am i not cis? Sharing thoughs & asking questions


Wiggly Lines

Recommended Posts

Greetings!
 
I always considered myself cis, but after a deep conversation with a friend started to question my identity. The thing is - living my life as a cis girl doesn't feel particularly painful or wrong, but it also seems, that my self-image is a bit... unusual? And - maybe - I can achieve a better understanding of my own feelings thus becoming a happier person? I am not sure! So... Let's get to the point already! I wanna share some of my personal stuff with you and hear your opinion on the matter. Does any of my thoughts sound familiar? Could it be, that I am not cis after all? I will be grateful for any information, advice, or help! Thank you in advance!
 
1) I never associated myself with female characters, even as a child. There were characters like Mulan or Ariel or Yzma (have no idea, why I am talking Disney, but oh well) that I enjoyed, but I could never see myself in any of them. I had a strong connection with characters like Bilbo Baggins, though. And when I played Rayman 3 on PC, I also role-played with my friends as Rayman and even bought yellow sneakers to better fit the image. Here's what Rayman looks like, in case you don't know the guy: Rayman-3-Hoodlum-Havoc-Rayman-Legends-Ra
(I still wish I could be him lol).

2) I dress mainly in baggy clothes, they are more comfortable and I feel safer in them. I don't mind my boobs, though, or being in a swimsuit at the pool. I mean... I don't wear baggy clothes to hide my body, but to be more ME. Like... I don't want people thinking, that I am trying to pass for a mysterious Femme-Fatale (for example)... Because I am NOT. I tend to be loud and gross and absurd and funny and all goblin-like... Does that make any sense?
Occasionally I wear dresses and makeup and even heels (at the New Year celebration, Music concert,etc.), but then I feel a bit awkward. I suddenly start to care A LOT about my weight and skin imperfections, and how thin my hair is, how bad my teeth are... I tend to brush off those concerns and have fun, but...
 
3) I don't associate myself with my reflection in the mirror or my photos AT ALL. On the outside, I am short slim human with quite a feminine face (big eyelashes, red lips, small nose) and body (i have visible boobs and thighs). I like my reflection. But my thoughts on it are "Woah, this girl is pretty... Wouldn't mind dating her, lol". THIS GIRL, you see? Not me, but THIS GIRL. On the inside, I am always this little goblin-like monster, a funny side-kick with a creaky voice and dumb jokes, ridiculous and absurd, but charming in their own way. Is it normal? Is it a bit weird? Is it what trans-experience is like? I don't know!
 
4) My sex life is complicated. I enjoy being naked, but I am not sure if I enjoy being an attractive girl per se... It doesn't feel right? Maybe it's just low self-esteem... Or maybe it's that big gap between my actual looks and my inner self-image? Anyway, if a person I like wants to have sex with a goblin, then - sure, I am up for it!
 
5) I don't mind my given name or she/her pronouns. I always thought that women are free to act, dress and look however they like. I still think that way, but at the same time, that is the reason I never paid much attention to my self-image and never questioned my gender identity until now?

So, what do you think? I am also ready to answer any additional questions!
Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Lucky. In the Hobbit, I identified more with Smaug. ?

 

So yeah, not really weird to me. In my laywoman's opinion, I'd say you're genderfluid. Identifying more with one gender or the other (or none at all) depending on the day. There could be some body dysphoria in there too. I'd look for a Gender Therapist ... I admit I have no earthly idea what Russia is doing for healthcare these days ... and see if they can help you with a plan that makes you more comfortable in your own skin.

 

I admit I have mirror moments like you do too. But I think, "Oh hey, that lady's pretty," then I remember that she's me and I get all tingly inside.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Thank you for your reply! ( Smaug is very cool :3 )

 

Russia is becoming more and more homophobic and dangerous for LGBT+ people these days. Every time i read the news i get super-sad and super-angry. So, not sure about competent Russian gender therapists, but there must be some? I'll ask around. 

 

But first i wanna do a little research by myself, see what other folks can tell me, reflect a little on those responses and my own feelings towards them... 

So, thanks again, your message means a lot!

Link to comment

Maybe i can add a few things:

1) I rarely fall in love. I dated a guy, when i was a teen, then switched to girls... Right now i have a girlfriend, we are together for almost 8 years. I don't like men's company, because than i feel like i represent women in general... And i don't want that responsibility. I consider myself a lesbian, because if i do find a man attractive, it is a fictional or purely hypothetical man in 99% cases. 

 

2) When i do fall for a girl, i feel kinda sleazy... Not like a cute girl liking another cute girl, but like a villain thinking his dirty thoughts about a pure magnificent goddess... I never act improper, but still... The guilt remains. :( I think that can be connected to my absurd self-image... Because i even grew my hear a bit longer to seem more feminine and less scary to girls ... Ahahaha... But i am ALREADY feminine, the thing i am trying to do is to convince my inner self by those actions... And the pure goal is to prevent girls from being repulsed? CONFUSING.

 

3) I masturbate a lot, and I usually make up some colorful erotic stories as i do.  Like... In my mind. I think about -excited- medieval kings or underground vampire lairs or necromancer's laboratories... Those stories never NEVER include me as a hero/heroine. They are always about some imaginary characters. Or (in rare cases) about the people i know. But never about me. I can't picture myself having sex... Even thought i had plenty of sex in my life? It's just... My inner vision gets hazy, when i try to imagine that... Should i be a dumb goblin in those fantasies? Or that girl from the mirror? How and why would anyone sleep with me? Too many questions are killing the mood completely. Low self-esteem or body dysphoria or both? I don't know...

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Don't discount the goblins. They're small and clever with quick fingers, agile minds and no sense of self-preservation. They have their own appeal. Goblincore is totally a thing. ?

 

Even so, you sound like you've got some issues to work out. I'd definitely include a therapist (gender specialty a plus!) in my plans going forward.

 

If you've seen the news, we've got a full-on dumpster fire going on in the US too. Hopefully the forces of reason and compassion can do something about both countries. Love and peace!

 

In the meantime, we're always here to listen if you need to talk.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
25 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

Don't discount the goblins. They're small and clever with quick fingers, agile minds and no sense of self-preservation. They have their own appeal. Goblincore is totally a thing. ?

Yeah! Didn't mean to criticize them, i don't even identify with goblins as a specific race (like World Of Warcraft goblins), but their appearance and overall mood is the closest one to my self-vision.

28 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

Even so, you sound like you've got some issues to work out. I'd definitely include a therapist (gender specialty a plus!) in my plans going forward.

 Heh, i have a therapist, but we are working on a different topic now... I am suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD and Recurring Depression on top of that... So, lots of things are on my shoulders already! I've had two suicide attempts in my past, one almost successful one was last year Q__Q But right now i am feeling MUCH better thanks to DBT, mindfulness and some medical support.
 Maybe i should mention my gender-related-thoughts to my therapist... But i am pretty sure that my recurring depression has a different source (professional and family issues mainly). 

35 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

If you've seen the news, we've got a full-on dumpster fire going on in the US too. Hopefully the forces of reason and compassion can do something about both countries. Love and peace!

I certainly hope that all that madness, chaos and horror of 2020 will soon come to an end! That love and compassion will win so everybody could live in harmony and without fear.  :( 
 

39 minutes ago, Jackie C. said:

In the meantime, we're always here to listen if you need to talk.

Thank you once again! 

Link to comment

Oh! I just remembered something else! It is pretty difficult for me to draw self-portraits. They all look very abstract lately. But if you ask me to draw MY BODY, i would probably draw something that looks like the last quick sketch. Can it be related to my identity somehow?

D_d1nxxW4AM1fTy.jpg

wgL3xQNTFH8.jpg

фиые.png

IMG_20200720_214811.jpg

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I'd certainly say it's tied to your self-image somewhere. My therapist would probably call at least some of that exile parts of your personality. Maybe not the last one. The goblin just has character.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Oi!!!

 

Rad pictures, each of your sketches are so unique and neat!

 

I can only comment on a few points that you've made on your posts.

 

We're pretty similar in that I don't really associate with girl characters that much. Mulan's great! I admire her, but I don't want to be her. I do want perfect skin tho Q_Q. Other than that, I have always played as males when role playing. I admire the features of what is associated with males, so the voice and physical features that I try to roleplay whether in person or online is a really good vibe for me. Have you explored more with gender and role playing and how you feel about it? I'd be curious to know if you've explored more into it. The goblin persona (if I may call it that) does remind me a lot of role playing as other characters in general. 

 

We do tend to have 2 different images: The one that the world sees us (Mirrors are a good example), and how we perceive ourselves. I figured that this point of contention doesn't last long; would we either "meld" the 2 areas, or always keep them separate? So far, I've managed to make these 2 images separate and it seems to be working. The relationship between the goblin, and what you think of your body would probably need to be explored more. Sorry I can't be much help on that!

 

 

Link to comment
11 hours ago, Kim Lang said:

 

Rad pictures, each of your sketches are so unique and neat!

Big thanks! ^___^

11 hours ago, Kim Lang said:

Other than that, I have always played as males when role playing. I admire the features of what is associated with males, so the voice and physical features that I try to roleplay whether in person or online is a really good vibe for me.

It's great, that you found something, that gives you such good emotions. Also, role-playing is a great way of getting at least some of the desired features... For me, though... I am not sure. Haven't role-played in a loooong time. It may be a good idea to get back to it somehow! Explore my goblin self deeper... Or, i dunno, think about not only what is comfortable enough? There must be things that i WANT or things that can give actual PLEASURE. Hmmm, thank you for your response! It gave a lot to ponder on! 

11 hours ago, Kim Lang said:

Sorry I can't be much help on that!

You already are a huge help, actually! :3

Link to comment

Hi there! 

Your post is really soothing to me because I'm questioning myself about my gender a lot too lately! I can completely relate concerning the characters part like...it's really rare to me to identify to "female" characters. And I have kind of the same thoughts about my body like...I don't mind having boobs but sometimes I like it when they are not visible, in fact i just think I don't care if they're here or not, it changes a lot everytime. As I just said I am questioning myself a lot so I don't know if I can really help you through this new journey... I just wanted to know that you're not alone and that we're probably not the only two humans to have these questions in mind at this exact moment on earth. I hope everything is going to be ok for you and that you'll find the answers you need. 

I also really hope you're safe where you are and that you have someone to talk to. 

 

Lots of love

Jo. 

 

(ps: i love your drawings)

Link to comment

Hi, Jo' !
Huuge thanks for all the nice things you've said! It IS easier, when you know others who - at least partially - share your thoughts and experience! ☺️
I guess, we don't have to find a specific ANSWER or label ourselfs, if nothing exactly fits... Most importantly, we have to find a way to be happy and comfortable and at ease with what's going on inside.
We'll manage that, hopefully! Thanks again and good luck!

Link to comment

Your situation is very similar to my own. I was actually just looking at old pictures of myself (when I was really femme) and I felt awkward. Like, I know that was me, but it doesn't feel like me anymore, just some pretty girl I would probably be attracted to. When I associate myself with that femme girl I used to be (and maybe still am in a way or two), I feel all the pressures of the female world on my shoulders and it doesn't sit right.

 

And as for your body, I get it. My body/gender dysphoria, whatever it is, is confusing. I don't mind my breasts, but I've never considered an alternative until very recently, and since then my view has shifted to maybe not wanting breasts at all. Figuring out yourself is a slow process, and you are allowed to make mistakes and feel one way and then another and then switch again until you feel truly right.

 

Definitely research gender therapists. Someone on my own post told me there are many online if you don't have direct access near you. I'm new to my journey so everything I've said above is based on my recent personal experiences. Good luck

 

 

Link to comment

(Sorry in advance for this post being so long.)

 

I'm going to start by saying your art is stunning. Definitely captivating. I love artists that actually put themselves into their work. It just feels so much more intentional and like a story than those people who just spin a canvas with globs of paint on it so it spreads out in different directions. (I think that stuff is pretty, but I prefer stuff like you do.)

 

Now to the reason you're here. 

 

I resonate with a lot of the things you experience, both gender issues wise and sexuality wise. When I was little I got to dress up as Woody from Toy Story for Halloween and pretty much anytime I was home after that I was in my Woody outfit. I also really liked Frodo Baggins. He was such a lively and fun character and I wanted to be just like him. I definitely always felt uncomfortable getting dressed up and never really felt a connection with my reflection or pictures of me. I think I looked pretty sometimes, but it was not me. With that said, as much as I hate my boobs, I also tend towards the nudist side because I also hate clothes. The only reason I wear clothes when I'm alone is to keep myself from having severe dysphoria. I think once I get top surgery I'll walk around in just boxers all the time. For me my name and pronouns were kind of like my reflection: I knew they were associated with me, but I didn't really feel a connection to them. People telling me I couldn't grow up to be a an really pissed me off though. I always knew I was a boy so I was confused and kind of angry when other people would put me in the girl category. This isn't the case for everyone though. To me it sounds like you have some level of dysphoria because of the disconnect. It could be possible that because you are still questioning, the top or bottom dysphoria just hasn't fully set in. I didn't really mind seeing my chest or wearing bikinis or anything before because even though I didn't connect with it, they are still beautiful and I would very much enjoy them on someone else haha. Now that I fully recognize that they aren't "me" and the dysphoria is worse I really want them gone. I did used to wish I got breast cancer so they could be chopped off though.While trying to figure out where I was on the spectrum I identified as genderfluid so I could play with different styles more, but as I had more gender affirming experiences as male I realized I was trans.

 

Okay so now for sexuality. I think there is a chance you could be on the asexual spectrum. I identity as demisexual (open to all genders though). I enjoy the pleasure of sex and I've done it a good bit (only been sexual with two people and one I wasn't actually attracted to), but I'm almost never sexually attracted to people and picturing myself having sex is almost impossible. Some people in the ace spectrum can still enjoy sex and masturbation, but picturing themselves having sex or finding people they are sexually attracted to is difficult. I have also wondered if I only identify this way because of my dysphoria. I do think it's harder to picture yourself having sex if you don't view your reflection as being you. I also think the fact that I don't see my body as me means I have to feel like there is a much deeper connection besides the other person being attracted to my body to be sexually attracted to them if that makes sense. I am still pre-T (I have my first consultation with the HRT doctor in about an hour) so I don't know how or if this will change throughout my transition, but you are not alone in feeling this way. I kind of wonder if you feel like a villain because of any internalized things you were taught growing up in a homophobic area. I know gay people are often portrayed as predators and creatures instead of people by homophobes (at least here they are) so I wonder if that could play into your villain-goblin self image.

 

I just did a project on the LGBT situation in Russia so I can imagine living there right now is frustrating to say the least. I really hope things somehow manage to turn around there soon.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   1 Member, 0 Anonymous, 184 Guests (See full list)

    • Carolyn Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bowie Ellis
      Bowie Ellis
      (19 years old)
    2. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (18 years old)
    3. JJ
      JJ
      (77 years old)
    4. KathyLauren
      KathyLauren
      (70 years old)
    5. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Carolyn Marie
      https://apnews.com/article/title-ix-sexual-assault-transgender-sports-d0fc0ab7515de02b8e4403d0481dc1e7   The revised regulations don't touch on trans athletes; which I totally understand, as that's become a third rail issue and this is an election year.  But the other changes seem pretty sensible, and will obviously result in immediate right wing lawsuits.   Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
    • Carolyn Marie
      Very well said, @Abigail Genevieve, and very true.  Thank you.   Carolyn Marie
    • Susan R
      Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!!   Trans Group Zoom Meeting Times: April 20, 2024 6:00 PM Pacific Time April 20, 2024 8:00 PM Central Time April 21, 2024 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Message me for the meeting link if you’d like to attend.   *Hugs* Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      They may win a few battles but not the war! as @Davie pointed out there is little truth if it full of lies, inconsistencies, and ignores evidence to the contrary. I saw this article earlier and have to agree here. Truth will win. This isn’t the first time this tactic has been tried. Always stick with the truth!
    • Susan R
      Welcome @violet r! Glad you joined our forum and got through the hardest part…that first post. As many have mentioned, we are more than accepting here as we affirm your gender identity and hold no judgement, whatsoever. There’s so much here on this forum, I think you’ll find very helpful. If you have trouble finding an answer just reach out, try the search but starting a new thread is usually best to get some quick answers. Many are here for various transgender related issues but many, if not all, are here to help one another if we can. It’s great to have you onboard.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together
    • Abigail Genevieve
      By which I mean there is a cultural stereotype of what a man is, and one of what a woman is.  Even worse, of what a transgender person is.   You be you.   I read of a boy who thought he was a girl because he did not adhere to some (rather toxic) conceptions of what it means to be a man, so he decided he was a girl.  He was told he didn't have to conform to stereotype and got happy. "You mean I don't have to transition?" He didn't want to, and was relieved.   Once upon a time if you were transgender they told you either you transition or die.   Incorporate the best of what it means to be a man and the best of what it means to be a woman as much as you possibly can, and let the rest go.  Be fully human. Be alive. Don't conform to some cultural crud.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • Davie
      Except for this thung thwister: Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb. Now if, Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full of of unsifted thistles, thrust three-thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb, how many thistles can'st thou thrust through the thick of thy thumb . . . in sifting a sieve-full of unsifted thistles? Success to the successful thistle sifter!
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...