Hello

[Guest]

I joined TransPulse yesterday. So I thought it was time I introduced myself. I did write a fairly extensive "About Me" yesterday on my Profile Page which I presume anyone can read. So I want to avoid rehashing all of that as much as possible. Here I'll just say that I'm 72. (Yikes!) And I've been struggling with my gender identity as far back into my childhood as I can recall. Most of the few memories I have of my childhood (especially my early childhood) revolve around this. I'm an AMAB. (I don't know much about all of the terminology that's in use nowadays with regard to gender identity and sexual orientation.) I've always struggled to live a more-or-less typical male life.  (I still do.) 

 

As I was signing in, there was a question regarding my gender and I put "questioning". But really,  for me, there's no question. I was born male. But I always wanted to be, felt I should have been, female. Where the "questioning" comes in, for me, is that I've always struggled with a lot of mostly hidden mental health issues in addition to my GID concerns. And I don't know, will never know, which came first. Was I born transgender at a time, and in a place, where such a thing was simply unheard of and this led to my mental health issues? Or was I born (or developed early-on) mental health issues one of which was my gender identity concerns? (It's a chicken-and-egg sort of question.) What I've finally come down to is that I've made the arbitrary decision to view my situation as being the latter. I simply have (and have had) a lot of mental health issues of which one component has been my GID issues. I guess, realistically, it doesn't matter either way at this point. But it makes me feel as though I have some understanding of how my life ended up the way it has.

 

I am married. And out of concern for my wife, along with my advanced age, physical and mental status, I will never transition to any degree. But I still struggle with my life-long gender dysphoria every day. As I mentioned on my Profile Page, I'm an active member on a well-known mental health forum website. But there's little interest there in topics related to gender dysphoria. Yet I feel a great longing to talk about it. So that's why I've come here. Thank you for reading my post.

[Jackie C.]

Hokay, so after going back and reading your profile...

 

You're actually pretty typical of some of us older gals. You struggle to fit in the mold society cast for you, even though it isn't for you. That usually leads to some sort of mental problem. For example; I was a high functioning depressive. Also just an awful person to be around. When you're that unhappy, you tend to spread it around. I'm better now, though I still see a therapist more-or-less once a week. I had trouble connecting the dots too. I'm a little envious of the younger generation now that being trans is more out in the open. All I had in the 70's and 80's in the Midwest were off-color jokes in men's magazines and sadness.

 

I have to say though, everyone is deserving of acceptance, love and living as their authentic self.

 

I certainly hope that you find what you're looking for here! Welcome to TransPulse!

 

Hugs!

[Sapphireheart]

Welcome! ?

[Guest]

Thank you Jackie C. and Sapphireheart  for your welcomes. ?

[Madelyn]

Welcome! ? this site has been helpful to many, I hope it is for you too 

[Jani]

Hello and welcome!  I've read your profile bio.  I think you'll be fine here.  It is an unfortunate truth that many people under the transgender umbrella have had "issues" of one sort or another so you're among a safe crowd. 

 

Jani

[Guest]

Thank you so much for your replies Madelyn and Jani. ?

[Susan R]

6 hours ago, Overalls Bear said:

I am married. And out of concern for my wife, along with my advanced age, physical and mental status, I will never transition to any degree. But I still struggle with my life-long gender dysphoria every day.

Welcome @Overalls Bear! Nice to meet you. Hopefully, reaching out here will be as beneficial for you as it has been for me. I read your “About Me” in your profile and appreciate your honesty and candor. We are here to support you any way we can and offer friendship if you so desire. Everyone’s journey is slightly different but we all share many commonalities so I’m sure you’ll enjoy your time here with us.

Your wife sounds like a wonderfully open-minded individual and it’s nice you’re able to share your life with someone who cares about you for who you are. I have a spouse that is also very accepting of my lifestyle and I never take that for granted...ever! You have made a great sacrifice for your wife. I hope she understands just how difficult ‘not transitioning‘ is for you. Having a spouse makes getting through it all a little easier IMHO. I wish you the best with your journey in whatever path you decide to take. Thanks for sharing your story with us.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, hon.  I can sense your frustration in not being able to fulfill your life's desires, but at least this is a safe place to talk about them and perhaps learn some new things about the community and about yourself.  We'll be happy to help in any way we can.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Lexi C]

Hey O.B

Yeah there's a lot of older gals in here. Happy to hear you have support in yr live.This place is amazing. So feel free to share. Be safe, BE Proud and KICK ASS

 

[SaraAW]

Welcome to the forums!

[KayC]

Hi @Overalls Bear!  nice to meet you and Welcome!
I also read your full bio.  Thank you for being so open and willing to share.  I think you've found a great place specially with all us other ol'girls here ?
There is a soft comfort here because you will find not only are we each very unique, we are also in many ways the same.  We share in similar struggles and challenges.
Understanding you've have extensive experience with therapy, I am wondering if you have ever tried a gender specialist?  If not, that would be my one suggestion.

Also, in appreciation of your openness, please know that these posts are in the Open forum that anybody can see when they visit online.  If you need to keep your sharing more private just for Members of this Forum then you can add to your profile, or a blog, or private message (PM) if you just want to confide to and individual Member (took me a couple of weeks to learn that).

Welcome again, and ... its never too late❣️

 

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Overalls Bear,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ?

[Guest]

Thank you all for your warm welcomes. I'm not feeling particularly well today. So I'm at a bit of a loss for words. But please know all of your good thoughts are so much appreciated. ?