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Hello everybody,


I would like to quickly introduce myself. I am currently 19 years old and I’ll be 20 years old in September. I was born as a female. Since I was a kid, I felt a bit different. When I wrote my first poems like 8-year-old, I wrote them from a boy perspective. I always prefered to be dressed as a boy, I didn’t like typical girlish stuff. When I was in my puberty, I thought I was a transgender (like FtM). But… now I know it is not the case. Most of the time I prefer to act like a boy and I prefer to be reffered as to a boy (like „he“ and „him“), but I also feel like girl time to time. I am something in between, then. I was a bit confused all my life, I have serious depressions, I am diagnosed with emotional unstable disorder. Now I’m getting older and I think that is not that important, if I refer to myself as a girl or as a boy, but that my goal is to be happy.


I have a boyfriend and I am actually engaged. He is not very glad for my non-binarity, but I think we can handle it together. He is in some ways different too, so he kind of understand. I don’t think I am that much happy, but I think it is bearable now. In the past I was in a very bad state because of all of this insecurity inside, because of depressions and because of problems of my home.

I just wanted to say „hi“. :) And actually I’m not that big pessimist as I can sound. And sorry for my English, I am not very good in it.


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Hello DeCay and welcome.  Your English is very good!  I hope you can find what you are looking for.  There are quite a few NB's here so you will fit it well.  Thats great that you found someone to love and that you are engaged.  Congratulations!  Please join in the conversation.




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Carolyn Marie

Welcome to Trans Pulse, DeCay.  It is not at all unusual for trans people to feel a little bit like both genders, depending on the situation and the mood and your needs.  There are many here who feel like that.  You are among friends here, and you are easily understood.  Your English is definitely better than my Czech.  😋   Please look around the forums and post wherever you like.




Carolyn Marie

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Susan R

Hello @DeCay It’s a pleasure to have you with us. Congrats on your engagement and thank you for reaching out to say “hi” today. I hope you enjoy your time here. If you have a second and feel comfortable, tell us a little about how you got to where you are on your journey and any plans you might have in your future.


Warmest Regards,

Susan R🌷

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Hi DeCay!  nice to meet you and Welcome!
I think you are very advanced in understanding yourself and what will make you happy in the end.  For myself and many of us here, its taken a lifetime.
I also think you will find many other Members here just like you and hopefully you can share stories and experience to help each other.

Life is not a sprint .. its a marathon, so ...

Deep breaths ... one step at a time❣️

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