Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Feeling Down


JustineM

Recommended Posts

Been feeling pretty down the last few days.  I don't regret letting Justine out, it had to happen or I don't think I would be here today, but the amount of effort I have to put forth to appear even slightly feminine is crazy.  A couple hrs of shaving alone every couple of days just so I don't look like a gross hairy Neanderthal.  Work stuff hasn't helped at all, shortened vacation and increased hours.  Just feeling pretty down over everything.

 

Just so I'm not focusing completely on the negative; I finally got the raise I was supposed to get back in March.  Also my therapist has said that we should start looking into ways to get me on HRT.  My insurance won't cover it so she wants to see if there are any assistance programs that could help me until I can change insurance plans. 

 

Sorry just had to get it out, thanks for reading my rant.

Link to comment

Justine,

 

I do hope things improve. Sounds like you have a wonderful therapist. Keep the positive thoughts.

 

❤️

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
49 minutes ago, JustineM said:

Also my therapist has said that we should start looking into ways to get me on HRT. 

I’m not saying you should start HRT. That obviously is a personal decision for you but many of the issues you mention are helped to some degree with a HRT regimen as your therapist suggested. If this feeling is keeping you down and the cost is the main thing keeping you in a holding pattern, I’d move HRT up on your priority list. As you mention there might be assistance out there for this purpose but looking into changing insurance with better coverage might be the best way to go. Since last December, your state is supposed to cover trans care as part of medicaid. Have you looked to see if you might qualify for that coverage. They may pay all or a good portion of your trans care.

 

I hope you feel better soon, Justine. I hope your therapist can help you out with this need.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

Link to comment
32 minutes ago, Susan R said:

Since last December, your state is supposed to cover trans care as part of medicaid. Have you looked to see if you might qualify for that coverage. They may pay all or a good portion of your trans care.

I’m unfortunately in the income range were my kids qualify for Medicaid but me and my wife don’t. Our current policy was purchased through the healthcare marketplace but they won’t cover anything. My work open enrollment should be coming around in a couple of months and they go through Aetna.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
23 minutes ago, JustineM said:

My work open enrollment should be coming around in a couple of months and they go through Aetna.

Ok, now that’s much better...Something will change in the next few months regardless. I would focus on that positive but still put feelers out there for another alternative as a possible plan B. It’s always good to have a backup. Glad to read that there’s some good news in your upcoming future.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Justine, hang in there.  I know the effort seems Herculean and we often question whether we have the strength and fortitude to continue.  But remember we don't do this in one day, week, month or year.  It's a long term project with ups and downs.  The key is maintain an even mental state to ride out the highs and lows.  

 

Susan is correct that it appears HRT would address many of your concerns.  As to your company's chosen insurance provider, understand there some things they must provide by federal or state regulation.  The rest is up to your company and how much they want to pay for since they've negotiated with the company.   Some businesses are very generous and others are tighter.  In this economic climate I would not expect a rich type of plan.  If you wanted to pursue it you could lobby for the coverage, in whole or in part.  Any little bit helps.    

Link to comment

Thanks for the support Ladies.  I guess everything just kinda hit me at the same time, got a little overwhelmed.  I've been looking at the reviews and it seems like Garda does offer a really good insurance plan, so got my fingers and toes (that I really need to repaint?)all crossed.

Link to comment

Hey Justine, 

    I'm sorry to hear things have gotten you down lately. It is a lot of work to care for ourselves and the slightest things can make that seem impossible but, you are strong and have a great group of supporters it seems. You are allowed to have days where you feel down. That's really healthy in my opinion. Also, you're not running from it either. You are facing it and saying you need some support to get over this tough moment. You're doing really well and I sure hope you can get the insurance stuff figured out too. I have the most basic healthcare and barely get even a normal visit for a good price. We all have needs that should be basic provided care but, sadly the nation has yet to come to terms with that. Either way, I'm sure you will find the strength to overcome this moment. Pretty soon, I bet you'll be ready to be strong and supportive of other's, when they get down, too.

 

~Abi~

Link to comment

Well today...... did not help matters. Minor fender bender at the end of my route and a day full of people making “jokes”.  The really funny ones that involve walking up behind armed security and screaming “give me the f’n money” and lets “pretend like we are going g to grab the money bag and run away”. 
 

To try and look on the bright side, I managed to maneuver to where the other car hit the front of my truck instead of the drivers door. And no one was hurt. 
 

Im going to bed now, hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Link to comment

Justine,

So sorry about your day. Hope when you wake today you'll be able to have a better day!

 

Kylie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Justine,

I sure know how it feels. Just keep keepin' on.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ?

Link to comment

So a couple amusing little things. Had one of my customers, who doesn’t know (I’m still very much in the closet at work), day that I had feminine eyes. Made me very happy ?
 

My wife made the comment that my skin is glowing, of course that’s from a sunburn but hey I’ll take it lol. 
 

Thank you for all the words of encouragement, it means a lot to me. Feeling a little better, starting to pull out of my funk. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 95 Guests (See full list)

    • Mmindy
    • Betty K
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • Ashley0616
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,941
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Miss Cormac
    Newest Member
    Miss Cormac
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      Good evening to you as well @Mmindy   That is awesome that you have support from her side. My dad has communicated with me once and that was because he was forced to. His new wife wanted to spend time with my kids. He hated me so much he was in the process of taking my rights away as a parent to my two boys. He was talking to a lawyer and I called him out on it. I don't love him at all. I'll respect him because I wouldn't be here without him but I wished I had another father. My uncles don't talk to me and unfriended me on Facebook. Almost all cousins except for two are still Facebook friends but they don't give me any support. My mom said she won't support me with that but she has said that she loves me. I have nieces and nephews that are still Facebook friends but they have yet to talk to me. I have one sister that supports me out of three. The other's disrespect me by deadnaming me. They have never called me their sister. I think for them they think it's still a phase. They don't ask questions about me being trans. I have to bring it up and on the look of their faces they don't look comfortable about it. 
    • Mmindy
      Good evening @Ashley0616,   I just got offline with HP tech support trying to get my printer tool box icon locked to my tool bar. This is one of the most important features of my printer that I like because it keeps track of ink, paper, and scanned documents. I'm diffidently not a computer geek.   I'll catch up with the other bookmarks next week. We leave to go home for the Easter Holiday with our families. Saturday with her side, and Sunday with my side. What's odd about that is I'm out to more of her side and they're reluctantly supportive. My side on the other hand are less supportive, and my sister just under me in age will not acknowledge my being there. She will be constantly moving to keep from dealing with me. I'm dead to her.   Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋  
    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
    • Willow
      Both of my parents were from the “North Shore” of Boston.  My mother Lynn and my father Swampscot.  They had an early 1900s Scots-Irish New England diet.  My sister and I were born in the 40s in Ohio well away from New England seafood and in an area where food was more German and Polish.  My first experience with liver and onions was during basic training.  They ate salt cod but never forced us to eat it same with oysters.  My dad ate oysters but my mother wouldn’t.  Anyone who ever ate an oyster can figure that one out.  I grew up eating lamb.  My wife won’t touch it. I love brazed ox tail, again no way. And the list goes on.  
    • KathyLauren
      My mother was German, so yes, I think it was a cultural thing.  If I'd known you when we were cleaning out my mother's place, I could have sent you her "threat jar". 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Been taking it real easy.Another good neighbor of mine and his 15 year old son came over and cut down a couple dead trees on my property.Knew not to do it taking it easy.I had them put the wood near my fire pit in the back yard.Did it and happy where they put it.They knew I had stents put in and needed to take it easy
    • Ashley0616
      Wow that is a high number for Estradiol good grief! Testosterone levels are better than mine. I don't remember my Estradiol level but testosterone was 80. To me that is really high but it was in the two hundreds the check in before last one. 
    • Ivy
      I don't understand why this would make a difference being a "dad" I mean, as far as how they would grow.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...