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Feeling Down

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Been feeling pretty down the last few days.  I don't regret letting Justine out, it had to happen or I don't think I would be here today, but the amount of effort I have to put forth to appear even slightly feminine is crazy.  A couple hrs of shaving alone every couple of days just so I don't look like a gross hairy Neanderthal.  Work stuff hasn't helped at all, shortened vacation and increased hours.  Just feeling pretty down over everything.


Just so I'm not focusing completely on the negative; I finally got the raise I was supposed to get back in March.  Also my therapist has said that we should start looking into ways to get me on HRT.  My insurance won't cover it so she wants to see if there are any assistance programs that could help me until I can change insurance plans. 


Sorry just had to get it out, thanks for reading my rant.

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I do hope things improve. Sounds like you have a wonderful therapist. Keep the positive thoughts.



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  • Forum Moderator
Susan R
49 minutes ago, JustineM said:

Also my therapist has said that we should start looking into ways to get me on HRT. 

I’m not saying you should start HRT. That obviously is a personal decision for you but many of the issues you mention are helped to some degree with a HRT regimen as your therapist suggested. If this feeling is keeping you down and the cost is the main thing keeping you in a holding pattern, I’d move HRT up on your priority list. As you mention there might be assistance out there for this purpose but looking into changing insurance with better coverage might be the best way to go. Since last December, your state is supposed to cover trans care as part of medicaid. Have you looked to see if you might qualify for that coverage. They may pay all or a good portion of your trans care.


I hope you feel better soon, Justine. I hope your therapist can help you out with this need.


My Best,

Susan R?

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32 minutes ago, Susan R said:

Since last December, your state is supposed to cover trans care as part of medicaid. Have you looked to see if you might qualify for that coverage. They may pay all or a good portion of your trans care.

I’m unfortunately in the income range were my kids qualify for Medicaid but me and my wife don’t. Our current policy was purchased through the healthcare marketplace but they won’t cover anything. My work open enrollment should be coming around in a couple of months and they go through Aetna.

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  • Forum Moderator
Susan R
23 minutes ago, JustineM said:

My work open enrollment should be coming around in a couple of months and they go through Aetna.

Ok, now that’s much better...Something will change in the next few months regardless. I would focus on that positive but still put feelers out there for another alternative as a possible plan B. It’s always good to have a backup. Glad to read that there’s some good news in your upcoming future.

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  • Forum Moderator

Justine, hang in there.  I know the effort seems Herculean and we often question whether we have the strength and fortitude to continue.  But remember we don't do this in one day, week, month or year.  It's a long term project with ups and downs.  The key is maintain an even mental state to ride out the highs and lows.  


Susan is correct that it appears HRT would address many of your concerns.  As to your company's chosen insurance provider, understand there some things they must provide by federal or state regulation.  The rest is up to your company and how much they want to pay for since they've negotiated with the company.   Some businesses are very generous and others are tighter.  In this economic climate I would not expect a rich type of plan.  If you wanted to pursue it you could lobby for the coverage, in whole or in part.  Any little bit helps.    

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Thanks for the support Ladies.  I guess everything just kinda hit me at the same time, got a little overwhelmed.  I've been looking at the reviews and it seems like Garda does offer a really good insurance plan, so got my fingers and toes (that I really need to repaint?)all crossed.

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Hey Justine, 

    I'm sorry to hear things have gotten you down lately. It is a lot of work to care for ourselves and the slightest things can make that seem impossible but, you are strong and have a great group of supporters it seems. You are allowed to have days where you feel down. That's really healthy in my opinion. Also, you're not running from it either. You are facing it and saying you need some support to get over this tough moment. You're doing really well and I sure hope you can get the insurance stuff figured out too. I have the most basic healthcare and barely get even a normal visit for a good price. We all have needs that should be basic provided care but, sadly the nation has yet to come to terms with that. Either way, I'm sure you will find the strength to overcome this moment. Pretty soon, I bet you'll be ready to be strong and supportive of other's, when they get down, too.



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Well today...... did not help matters. Minor fender bender at the end of my route and a day full of people making “jokes”.  The really funny ones that involve walking up behind armed security and screaming “give me the f’n money” and lets “pretend like we are going g to grab the money bag and run away”. 

To try and look on the bright side, I managed to maneuver to where the other car hit the front of my truck instead of the drivers door. And no one was hurt. 

Im going to bed now, hopefully tomorrow will be better.

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So sorry about your day. Hope when you wake today you'll be able to have a better day!



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Sorry about your day! I hope today is much better!

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  • Forum Moderator
Timber Wolf

Hi Justine,

I sure know how it feels. Just keep keepin' on.


Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ?

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So a couple amusing little things. Had one of my customers, who doesn’t know (I’m still very much in the closet at work), day that I had feminine eyes. Made me very happy ?

My wife made the comment that my skin is glowing, of course that’s from a sunburn but hey I’ll take it lol. 

Thank you for all the words of encouragement, it means a lot to me. Feeling a little better, starting to pull out of my funk. 

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