Wife says go leave house and have the nerve to say what I want .

[Katetrue]

Me and my wife had a big bust up cus I ordered a dress from tu sainsbury's. 

I ordered it on the friday and didnt tell her till sunday . She was very angry and said how is she to trust me .

She said go and leave the house and end up were I end up . Cus I've no place to go 

Which is not her concern . I lose everything . I want to go to docs and get blood tests but if I go I will be crippled financially.  But were would I go. I would end up sleeping in my vw transporter . So in there for now and told her I will be honest with her . But my dysphoria she just doesnt get it . To how hard it is to deal with . What do I do 

[Jani]

Kate whatever you decide should be predicated with you not living on the street.  This is not and would not be a good situation.  Try to re-establish a line of communication that is honest and open.  I know its hard for you.  Its hard on your wife.  You're married and life is a compromise.  Unfortunately your wife has seen this as a one way street (since you didn't tell her about spending the money on the dress) and she have been hurt.  Do what you need to patch things up.   

[Katetrue]

Jani

Thank you I think that is good advise .

It wasnt the money it's the fact I ordered the dress but didnt tell her .that caused most of the hurt . Due to the fact I have a lit of clothes already and the fact it was secretive to her cus I didnt tell her straight away .

We have patched things up but wounds are fresh . So may take a bit of time .

 

Kate xx

[Jani]

Thats good.  Work on being open with her.  It's important to your relationship.  It will in the long term be good for you as well.  

 

Hugs, 

Jani

[Katetrue]

Jani

I think your right there that being open 

In a relationship is good .

Its something I've stopped doing and just keep it all to myself .

Which doesn't help .

 

Kate xx 

[Daphne]

Kate, unless she is the sole owner or Tennant of the house she cannot legally tell you to leave just like that, she would need to get a court order to get you out, and I can't see that a judge would accept you neglecting to tell your wife about ordering a dress as sufficient grounds for such a court order, however I also agree with what jani said in that being totally open in any relationship is by far the best way to ensure that the relationship is as healthy as can be for all involved. 

 

 

[Katetrue]

Thank you Daphne

And I think your right . Me and the wife have patched things up now and so I wont be going anywhere.

Thank you all for listening and for your thoughts and support. 

 

 

Kate xx

[Jackie C.]

I'm late to the party, but I agree with @Jani. Open and honest communication are key to making a relationship work. Honestly, hiding my true self from my wife was killing me so I told her WAY before my therapist suggested. Fortunately it worked out. I had no plan B. ?

 

So yeah, be open and honest with her about what you're feeling. When the world reopens, see if she'll take you clothes shopping. Shopping as a couple is so much better than flying solo. We get one dressing room and go nuts. I've got some of my favorite pieces that way and we're talking about converting the guest bedroom into a walk-in closet.

 

Hugs!

[Jani]

My wife likes to shop with me too.

[Katetrue]

Well the dress I bought needs a belt 

So me and the wife went shopping and 

While we were looking I showed her a dress I liked she liked it too . So she then bought it for me . It was £63 pounds but was reduced to £ 20 pounds.  So she bought a dress worth £ 63 pounds for me . I was over the moon about that. 

It's a wrap dress with a realy nice print on it .

Which was a realy nice gesture of her

When really she doesnt approve of it .

 

 

Kate xx

[Jani]

Being honest has its perks.  She may come around as time goes on and you can talk openly.

 

Jani