Today's Shopping Experience

[Guest]

Earlier today my wife & I went out to do some shopping. One of the places we stopped at was Target. She needed new underwear. Standing there with her surrounded by racks of  bras & panties... I thought about how I longed to need them.  Of course I couldn't / wouldn't tell her. Although I presume she's still vaguely aware of my gender dysphoria issues, (I think she's pushed the subject pretty-much back into the furthest reaches of her consciousness) I don't think it would ever occur to her I actually might long to be able to wear these things... and not just because I would enjoy wearing them but because I would need to wear them as the woman I have always longed to be / felt I should have been... but will never be.  

 

These sorts of experiences tear at the very fabric of my psyche. Whenever I have an experience such as this (which isn't often thankfully) it can take days to regain my equilibrium. There were periods of time, over the years, when I kept small secret stashes of women's clothing items hidden in my closet. (I've collected & purged more times than I think I could probably recall.) But that's all in the past now. At this point it's white jockey shorts for me. (Sigh...) ?

[Charlize]

I think there are quite a few here who can understand your feelings.  I know i can.  Thank you for being honest and sharing here.  I did much the same thing years ago here, and with a therapist That helped me find my path.  Instead of dying with my secret i grew to accept and live with it.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[KayC]

Hi again, @Overalls Bear! 
I have similar feelings when I am out shopping with my wife and she is shopping in the womens section.  I so much want to shop with her, go through the racks, compare our choices of styles and then try on our selections together.  Someday I hope.

I am Out to me wife only (and therapist, of course), and I am able to dress at home (only at home, in private).  I think I would be miserable if I could not do at least that.  So, I hope .. only when the time is right for you .. that eventually you can find a way to tell your wife, and she will be supportive. 

 

Wishing you all the best in yourjourney❣️

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Overalls Bear,

When I go to the store and see the women's clothing section, I often look with yearning. You are definitely not alone.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf ?

[Guest]

Thank you for your replies. The reality is nothing will ever change. But it feels good to at least have somewhere I can share thoughts & experiences such as these.  (Thank goodness for baby powder... )?