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A little about myself


joannewatters69

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Hello, I am Joanne, a lifelong woman who is trapped in this male body. I began dressing as a girl at a very young age, I have always wanted to be a girl, I used to go to bed every night praying to God to please, let me wake up as a girl, I guess God didn't hear me. My childhood was not so great, I would repeatedly get caught wearing my sister's clothes so my parents thought there was something wrong with me, the first time I asked my mother if I could be a girl for halloween, she got angry at me & told me no, I continued bugging her for a week before she finally gave in but it was a short lived victory, my mother told me if I wanted to dress up as a girl, she was going all the way with it. The day before halloween, as soon as I got home from school my mother took me up to the shower, she put hair remover all over my whole body, after a while she had me take a shower, what little hair I did have was now gone. After the shower my mom made me wear panties & a bra underneath the girls jeans & top I had to wear, I didn't understand why she didn't give me any shoes but I found out soon enough, mom took me into her room where she polished my finger nails & toe nails a dark, blood red, when my nails were dry, my mom handed me a pair of my sisters platform sandels to wear. After we ate dinner & did the dishes, my mom said we should get ready for bed, mom put my sisters hair up in curlers for the night then she made me come over & sit in front of her while she set my shoulder length hair. Mom woke me up early to get dressed for school, everyone was to wear their costumes to school, Mom put pantyhose on me, my sisters pink mini dress, she stuffed the cups in my bra then gave me my sisters pink, open toed, high heels to wear then she sat me at her makeup table. Mom started by plucking my eyebrows, then she did my makeup, when she was done, she pierced both of my ears then put pink hoop earrings in the holes, she then took out my curlers & brushed my hair into a feminine style, she sprayed me with perfume then gave me a pink purse to carry. I was made fun of the whole day at school, some of the girls were nice to me, I was just happy it was friday, that was until I got home & my mom said I was spending the weekend as a girl. I went out trick or treating by myself & I loved it, I was not even concerned about getting candy, I was just loving being outside as a girl, I wished the night would never end. When I got up on saturday, I asked my mom what she wanted me to wear, she said what ever I wanted so, I put on pantyhose, a denim mini skirt, A black sweater & a pair of black high heels, I put on some mascara, eye shadow, eye liner, blush & lip stick, I put my sisters blue dangle earrings in my ears then brushed my hair into a girly style. When I came downstairs my mom looked at me, then told me I looked nice, mom told me to eat my breakfast because I had to go to the store for her, I was heaven, going outside two days in a row. I spent the weekend as Joanne, I even went to church as a girl, my mom thought by making me dress as a girl for a few days, I would stop wearing my sisters things, not a chance, I wanted to dress as a girl more then ever.

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  • Admin

Welcome to the Forums, a lot of us can tell a story much like yours, but yours is yours alone.  Join in the discussions and start your own as you like. 

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Welcome Joanne! You'll find many understanding and wise friends here. Enjoy yourself and don't be afraid to ask for help.

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Welcome @joannewatters69, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I too had a similar beginning story as yours. Of course, the forced feminization by mom was where our life story’s parted. At age 4 after finding me in my sisters clothing, my mother grabbed me by the arm so fast, I’m surprised I still have one. I was scolded and undressed so fast my head was spinning and was told NEVER wear your sister’s clothes again. Quite a different approach than your mom’s. Both styles of discipline failed to stop our crossdressing obviously but they gave it their best shot I guess, didn’t they?

 

Thanks for sharing a little more of your story. I don’t know if your mom ever accepted this side of you but it seems as though you have and that’s all that really matters.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

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My father first discovered me dressed at probably 10 years old. I grew up with no sisters so I had put my mother's clothes and heels on. He was confused and forced me out of those clothes and into my closet on my knees staring at a wall. That to him was a light sentence seeing as his father used to punish him far far worse for far far less. I can remember dressing as far back as 1st grade, which is at about 6 years old. It’s natural for us to do it. Outsiders will never really understand what that pull is like. I believe most of us have this experience before puberty. 

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I see now you joined up in January. So you’ve been much longer than me. I guess I had failed to notice this was in the biography section. Thanks for sharing your story.

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  • Posts

    • MaeBe
      I get the concept, I believe. You're trying to state that trans kids need to or should be excluded from binary gender spaces and that you acknowledge that answers to accommodate those kids may not be found through policy. I disagree with the capability of "penetration" as being the operative delimiter in the statement, however. I contest this statement is poorly chosen at best and smacks of prejudice at worst. That it perpetuates certain stereotypes, whether that was the intent or not.   Frankly, all kids should have the right to privacy in locker rooms, regardless of gender, sexuality, or anatomy. They should also have access to exercise and activities that other kids do and allow them to socialize in those activities. The more kids are othered, extracted, or barred from the typical school day the more isolated and stigmatized they become. That's not healthy for anyone, the excluded for obvious reasons and the included for others--namely they get to be the "haves" and all that entails.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Context.  Read the context.  Good grief.
    • MaeBe
      Please don't expect people to read manifold pages of fiction to understand a post.   There was a pointed statement made, and I responded to it. The statement used the term penetration, not "dissimilar anatomy causing social discomfiture", or some other reason. It was extended as a "rule" across very different social situations as well, locker and girl's bedrooms. How that term is used in most situations is to infer sexual contact, so most readers would read that and think the statement is that we "need to keep trans girl's penises out of cis girls", which reads very closely to the idea that trans people are often portrayed as sexual predators.   I understand we can't always get all of our thoughts onto the page, but this doesn't read like an under-cooked idea or a lingual short cut.
    • Ashley0616
      I shopped online in the beginning of transition. I had great success with SHEIN and Torrid!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Have you read the rest of what I wrote?   Please read between the lines of what I said about high school.  Go over and read my Taylor story.  Put two and two together.   That is all I will say about that.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I feel like I lost my husband," Lois told the therapist,"I want the man I married." Dr. Smith looked at Odie, sitting there in his men's clothing, looking awkward and embarrassed. "You have him.  This is just a part of him you did not know about. Or did not face." She turned to Odie,"Did you tear my wedding dress on our wedding night?" He admitted it.  She had a whole catalog of did-you and how-could you.  Dr. Smith encouraged her to let it all out. Thirty years of marriage.  Strange makeup in the bathroom.  The kids finding women's laundry in the laundry room. There was reconciliation. "What do we do now?" Dr. Smith said they had to work that out.  Odie began wearing women's clothing when not at work.  They visited a cross-dressers' social club but it did not appeal to them.  The bed was off limits to cross dressing.  She had limits and he could respect her limits.  Visits to relatives would be with him in men's clothing.    "You have nail polish residue," a co-worker pointed out.  Sure enough, the bottom of his left pinky nail was bright pink  His boss asked him to go home and fix it.  He did.   People were talking, he was sure, because he doubted he was anywhere as thorough as he wanted to be.  It was like something in him wanted to tell everyone what he was doing, and he was sloppy.   His boss dropped off some needed paperwork on a Saturday unexpectedly and found Odie dressed in a house dress and wig.  "What?" the boss said, shook his head, and left.  None of his business.   "People are talking," Lois said. "They are asking about this," she pointed to his denim skirt. "This seems to go past or deeper than cross dressing."   "Yes.  I guess we need some counseling."  And they went.
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    • MaeBe
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    • Abigail Genevieve
      People love bureaucracy.  It makes everything cut and dried, black and white, and often unjust, unmerciful, wasteful and downright stupid.
    • Ivy
      This is why a blanket policy can never be fair.  Everything is not black and white.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Men's t shirt, women's jeans, hipster panties, flip-flops that could go either way.
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