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Kylara Anne Bagwell

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Kylara Anne Bagwell

I wrote this recently when there was a blow up in our home. It (the blow up) left me scared and alone. I still have feelings of helplessness and hopelessness at times due to it.

 

                                       ….........…........................

 

That moment when all hope falls and the dark looms in. Your light is not present to show you the way. That empty feeling as life has been removed to a place you cannot reach. So much has turned and so few have returned. I've been here before, it will happen again. Not the same as the last but still like the past. You wait for a chance, maybe your last, but at least you wait. To cause pain you never mean to give and as your heart breaks for that souls return, all you can do is await the return.

 

                                         .......................................

 

 

I will not lie. I am broken. I still feel a great portion of the feeling from this event and I grasp for a hold to what we have. Always a struggle to breath it feels like, never an easy way. Hard knocks teach me, they have for most of my life. I move forward. Bruised emotions, but I move forward.

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  • Posts

    • Beverly
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    • shelly_koleva83
      Hey!   That is great! I am happy for you! Wow! Incredible! I am speechless! That is so rare this days - the good news, the news about acceptance and love!    Wish you a lot of love, strength and courage in the future!    Hugs! 
    • Rowan.
      @VickySGV You're welcome  Happy to help. I was able to locate the envelope icon that you mentioned. This appears to be a feature that enables one-to-one communication. This is good to know. I haven't been a member of a forum like this for a decade and a half. While they're pretty easy to use, I do like know the little hidden niceties.   @Petra Jane  Thank you for pushing out a fix so quickly! Super-web-dev skills activate  No I'm feeling a bit guilty about what I have done to your inbox... oh my! All the sorries!   I'll probably write my message sometime today. But to sum it up very briefly: The work you are doing here is important, helpful to me, and very appreciated. Thank you <3
    •  Kylie
      @Jackie C. I had granulation tissue she had to excise and use silver nitrate on. It did not hurt during, but for the 12 hours after it was probably the top 3 most painful experiences of my life. It fees a bit better this morning, albeit I am exhausted and not ready to go back in two weeks for a check up to see if it worked enough to avoid additional treatments. 
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      Thank you all in all yesterday was rewarding in many ways especially learning I really am on the right path and HRT is really right for me and 
    • Jackie C.
      I'm kind of hoping that the US collapses just like the Soviets did and we mostly fracture into smaller units along ideological lines. I'd like to accomplish that with a minimum of bloodshed, but I think the military is too pumped for that to be a reasonable expectation.   Best case of course is a massive blue wave that lasts a couple of generations. The Republican party dissolves and the Democrats split into conservative and progressive wings.   Vote like your life depends on it. Because it does.   Hugs!
    • Emily michelle
      I hope everything continues to heal I’m sure it’s painful. Have a good day!
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