Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Desire to be masculine but envious of beautiful women?


papaparca

Recommended Posts

Hey all, I joined the Trans Pulse forums in hopes I could get some insight on a reoccurring experience I've had ever since coming out as a trans man.

 

Although I don't think this influences my way of thinking, I've come out to friends and acquaintances but not my family members.  I have come out twice in my life, the first time being a teenager dealing with a lot of self-doubt and confidence issues which eventually led me to give up on myself and present myself as a woman despite knowing I never truly felt like one.  I've described on multiple accounts that I felt more like a dress-up doll than a person during this time.  I knew how to make myself look attractive. I dressed well, my confidence got better over time as I got older but I knew I was lying to myself.  The second time around that I came out was fairly recent, and knowing myself more as an adult as well as establishing healthy, supportive friendships has helped me tremendously in finding more comfort and security within my identity. 

 

But now I am struggling with feelings of wanting to be like the confident, beautiful women I see on social media despite being uncomfortable with the idea of people seeing and referring to me as a woman.  When I see trans men successfully go through their transition and show off their bodies bravely and confidently I am filled with joy, as I too want to achieve what they have.  I enjoy dressing in both "feminine" and "masculine" clothing (despite believing anyone can wear anything).  I love fashion, I love makeup, I love raw and uninhibited self-expression.  I cannot help but think that I should not feel this way if I truly was what I say I identify as, despite feeling like I have been nothing but honest with myself.  I feel comfort in being referred to as a man, I feel truly seen when my friends use male pronouns when referring to me.  I've considered the possibility of being non-binary, but it doesn't feel quite right.  I know the transgender spectrum is vast, and I'm not really sure what kind of answer I'm looking for now that I've typed this all out, but I guess I hope that how I feel makes sense in a way.

 

Thanks for hearing me out.

Link to comment

Welcome to Transpulse papaparca!

 

I came here a little over a year ago or so to delve into why I felt envy and a desire to be a woman. I am jealous of anybody who can exude confidence in their given image, man or woman or gender-neutral. I believe one of the best early advise I was given is to start exploring, and not worrying about fitting into a "box". There are CIS Men whom enjoy fashion and makeup, just like there are CIS Women that hate the latter. This does not make them fit more with one than the other, it is just an interest they have. What makes you feel good and confident that you are being the best you is what matters. I know this takes a lot of experimentation, at least that is what I am learning.

Link to comment
21 minutes ago, MaryMary said:

If you fully transition you will have a deep voice and beard, do you feel alright with that? There's a lot of man these days that wear makeup and everything.

 

Be the man you want to be, do what you feel like doing. You will still be a very valid and awesome trans man.

 

Being trans is about identity, let's not make this a prison. Be free.

 

I definitely can't wait for HRT.  Being able to grow facial hair, for my voice to sound more natural to me—it's all very exciting and I'm full of anticipation for it.  I dream of the day I can afford top surgery and see my body become what I always wanted it to be.

 

Thank you so much for your insight, it means the world to me!

Link to comment
28 minutes ago, QuestioningAmber said:

What makes you feel good and confident that you are being the best you is what matters. I know this takes a lot of experimentation, at least that is what I am learning.

 

Thanks for the welcome!

 

Although my confidence definitely improved maybe I'm still struggling with it here and there.  Hopefully with some experimentation I can find out what helps me feel like I'm being the best me without feeling like I have to question every little thing along the way. :)

Link to comment

If you know you're a man, and you dress in what's perceived as women's clothing, that doesn't make you a woman. It makes you a really stealthy cross-dresser.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 143 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Vidanjali
    • VickySGV
    • violet r
    • Adrianna Danielle
    • Lenneth
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.4k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,025
    • Most Online
      8,356

    JamesyGreen
    Newest Member
    JamesyGreen
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Alscully
      Alscully
      (35 years old)
    2. floruisse
      floruisse
      (40 years old)
    3. Jasmine25
      Jasmine25
      (22 years old)
    4. Trev0rK
      Trev0rK
      (26 years old)
  • Posts

    • Davie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I love you so much,"  Lois said.  They met in the driveway. "I could not live without you." "Neither could I." "What are we going to do?" "Find another counselor?" "No. I think we need to solve this ourselves." "Do you think we can?" "I don't know.  But what I know is that I don't want to go through that again.  I think we have to hope we can find a solution." "Otherwise, despair." "Yeah.   Truce?" "Okay,  truce." And they hugged.   "When we know what we want we can figure out how to get there."   That began six years of angry battles, with Odie insisted he could dress as he pleased and Lois insisting it did not please her at all.  He told her she was not going to control him and she replied that she still had rights as a wife to a husband. Neither was willing to give in, neither was willing to quit, and their heated arguments ended in hugs and more.   They went to a Crossdressers' Club, where they hoped to meet other couples with the same problems, the same conflicts, and the same answers, if anyone had any.  It took them four tries before they settled on a group that they were both willing to participate in.  This was four couples their own age, each with a cross dressing husband and a wife who was dealing with it.  They met monthly.  It was led by a 'mediator' who wanted people to express how they felt about the situation.  Odie and Lois, as newcomers, got the floor, and the meeting was finally dismissed at 1:30 in the morning - it was supposed to be over at 10 - and everyone knew how they felt about the situation.   There was silence in the car on the way home.   "We aren't the only ones dealing with this." Odie finally said.   "Who would have thought that?  You are right."   "Somebody out there has a solution." "I hope you are right."   "I hope in hope, not in despair."   "That's my Odie."    
    • Abigail Genevieve
      The counseling session was heated, if you could call it a counseling session.  Sometimes Lois felt he was on Odie's side, and sometimes on hers.  When he was on her side, Odie got defensive. She found herself being defensive when it seemed they were ganging up on each other.   "This is not working," Lois said angrily, and walked out.  "Never again. I want my husband back. Dr. Smith you are complicit in this."   "What?" said Odie.   The counselor looked at him.  "You will have to learn some listening skills."   "That is it? Listening skills?  You just destroyed my marriage, and you told me I need to learn listening skills?"   Dr. Smith said calmly,"I think you both need to cool off."   Odie looked at him and walked out, saying "And you call yourself a counselor."   "Wait a minute."   "No."
    • Ashley0616
      Just a comfortable gray sweater dress and some sneakers. Nothing special today. 
    • VickySGV
      I do still carry a Swiss Army knife along with my car keys.  
    • Timi
      Jeans and a white sweater. And cute white sneakers. Delivering balloons to a bunch of restaurants supporting our LGBT Community Center fundraiser today!
    • April Marie
      Congratulations to you!!!This is so wonderful!!
    • missyjo
      I've no desire to present androgynous..nothing wrong with it but I am a girl n wish to present as a girl. shrugs, if androgynous works fir others good. always happy someone finds a solution or happiness    today black jeans  black wedges..purple camisole under white n black polka dot blouse half open   soft smile to all 
    • MaeBe
      I have read some of it, mostly in areas specifically targeted at the LGBTQ+ peoples.   You also have to take into account what and who is behind the words, not just the words themselves. Together that creates context, right? Let's take some examples, under the Department of Health & Human Services section:   "Radical actors inside and outside government are promoting harmful identity politics that replaces biological sex with subjective notions of “gender identity” and bases a person’s worth on his or her race, sex, or other identities. This destructive dogma, under the guise of “equity,” threatens American’s fundamental liberties as well as the health and well-being of children and adults alike."   or   "Families comprised of a married mother, father, and their children are the foundation of a well-ordered nation and healthy society. Unfortunately, family policies and programs under President Biden’s HHS are fraught with agenda items focusing on “LGBTQ+ equity,” subsidizing single-motherhood, disincentivizing work, and penalizing marriage. These policies should be repealed and replaced by policies that support the formation of stable, married, nuclear families."   From a wording perspective, who doesn't want to protect the health and well-being of Americans or think that families aren't good for America? But let's take a look at the author, Roger Severino. He's well-quoted to be against LGBTQ+ anything, has standard christian nationalist views, supports conversion therapy, etc.   So when he uses words like "threatens the health and well-being of children and adults alike" it's not about actual health, it's about enforcing cis-gendered ideology because he (and the rest of the Heritage Foundation) believe LGBTQ+ people and communities are harmful. Or when he invokes the family through the lens of, let's just say dog whistles including the "penalization of marriage" (how and where?!), he idealizes families involving marriage of a "biological male to a biological female" and associates LGBTQ+ family equity as something unhealthy.   Who are the radical actors? Who is telling people to be trans, gay, or queer in general? No one. The idea that there can be any sort of equity between LGBTQ+ people and "normal" cis people is abhorrent to the author, so the loaded language of radical/destructive/guise/threaten are used. Families that he believes are "good" are stable/well-ordered/healthy, specifically married/nuclear ones.   Start looking into intersectionality of oppression of non-privileged groups and how that affects the concept of the family and you will understand that these platitudes are thinly veiled wrappers for christian nationalist ideology.   What's wrong with equity for queer families, to allow them full rights as parents, who are bringing up smart and able children? Or single mothers who are working three jobs to get food on plates?
    • Ashley0616
      Well yesterday didn't work like I wanted to. I met a guy and started talking and he was wanting to be in a relationship. I asked my kids on how they thought of me dating a man and they said gross and said no. I guess it's time to look for women. I think that is going to be harder. Oh well I guess.  
    • Ashley0616
      I don't have anything in my dress pocket
    • Carolyn Marie
      This topic reminds me of the lyrics to the Beatles song, "A Little Help From My Friends."   "What do you see when you turn out the lights?"   "I can't tell you but I know it's mine."   Carolyn Marie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      @Ivy have you read the actual document?   Has anyone else out there read it?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am reading the Project 2025 document https://www.project2025.org/policy/   This will take some time.  I read the forward and I want to read it again later.   I read some criticism of it outside here and I will be looking for it in the light of what has been posted here and there.  Some of the criticism is bosh.   @MaeBe have you read the actual document?
    • RaineOnYourParade
      *older, not holder, oops :P
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...