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Share a Hopeful Thought Every Day


Heather Shay

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I love Mark Twain - I wrote a play with him in it - and I llove his wisdom.

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"If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.

If you want to be happy, practice compassion."

     Dalai Lama

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I want all of you to know - I am your friend always.... Heather Shay.....

 

Comfort In Your Arms Quotes, Quotations & Sayings 2020

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@Abi you are kind but I have a lot of negative and down moments - 68 years is a goodly amount of time to have gone through enough wars internally and externally to know positivity in the face of adversity is always something to strive for. My motto/mantra - and I don't always live up to it - but I think about it in my darkest times is - GET BETTER NOT BITTER.

 

I'm currently up and positive - that means when I'm down I'm sure you will be up and you can help me - YOU AND I ARE IN THIS TOGETHER SISTER.

 

With Love,

 

Heather Shay

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How to achieve becoming BETTER and not BITTER

  1. Choose Joy. And I’m not talking about happiness. There’s a distinct difference between the two. Happiness is an outward expression while joy is an inward decision. Happiness is a reaction to what’s going on around us. Joy is a conscious choice that no matter what happens, you will rise above. Choosing joy will transform the way you live. It will allow you to see beyond your circumstance to what really matters.
  2. Grieve, But Get Back Up. Grief is a normal response to a tragic situation. It’s okay to cry, scream, and get angry. It’s okay to eat an entire pint of ice cream to drown away your sorrows. Grief is healthy. Be sad. Be upset. Be hurt. But don’t stay there. Walk through those feelings, but make sure you continue to walk. Giving up in the middle of grief can swallow you whole. When you’ve finished your ice cream, set the spoon down. Holding onto grief can paralyze your process. If you want things to get better, feel it and follow through.
  3. Pick Your Friends Wisely. Some friends serendipitously fall into our lives while others are hard-earned. Remember, you are who you surround yourself with. If Bitter Betty is your bestie, her bitterness will most definitely rub off on you. Be mindful of how your friends make you feel. If they bring you down, cut them off. The same goes for certain family members. If you have a sibling/parent/cousin/etc that can’t stop crying over the spilt milk, step away. Find relationships that speak life into your circumstance. Everyone needs Positive Polly as a friend.
  4. Keep The Faith. No matter your religion or beliefs, have faith. Faith that it is going to get easier. Faith that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Without belief in something, there can’t be a belief in anything. My faith in God rescued me from bitterness. He is my strength when I have none. He will make a way where there is no way. Have faith that where you are now is not where you will always be.
  5. Have Hope. Similar to faith, we must never lose hope. Hopelessness is a breeding ground for bitterness. Those who give up hope often fester in bitterness until the very end. When everything else fades away, hope will be your anchor. When catastrophe comes, hope will be the gentle salve that heals your wounds. Hope gives us a future perspective and allows us to grow through our trials.
  6. Be Intentional. Don’t drift. Complacency leads to dissatisfaction and resentment. Without intent we become victims. We fall prey to our tragedy. A victim mentality is a guarantee for bitterness. Every curveball has limitations, but living without intent allows our challenges to overpower every area. Maintain some level of normalcy and be intentional about how you spend your days. Sitting on the couch is a recipe for disaster during life’s battles. We rarely have the choice of what challenges we will face, but we do have the choice on how we will respond. Being intentional is a sure-fire way to take your power back.
  7. Find The Lesson. Though it may be the proverbial needle in a haystack, you can find lessons in your tragedy. I’m not referring to reason why the tragedy happened, but rather the wisdom you can glean from it. Every struggle can teach you something. My fight against cancer has completely changed my life. There are many disappointments that have resulted from my diagnosis, yet, because I’ve searched for the lessons, I’ve become a better person. I’ve learned more during my lowest points than I ever have in my highest.
  8. Count Your Blessings. It’s easy to focus on the negative in the middle of misfortune. Remember that life hasn’t always been and won’t always be difficult. We all have reasons to be thankful. Focusing on the positive things in your life will shield you against bitterness. Blessings block bitterness. It’s as simple as that.
  9. Get Healthy. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We all feel better when we feel better. When physically weak, get emotionally strong. When emotionally weak, go to the gym and grow those muscles! Pay attention to what you’re putting into your body. Eat what gives you life. Though few want to cook healthy meals and would rather opt for quicker and easier options when life gets hard, making healthier choices will pave the way towards a better life. Treat your body kindly, it’s the only one you get.
  10. Help Others. Your tragedy gives you insight into what others may be experiencing. Be what you needed when you were thrown a curveball for someone else. Serving others gives us an outward perspective and allows us to see life for more than what it may feel like in difficult seasons. There will always be someone else who has it worse. Reaching out and lending a helping hand betters not only you, but the one you’re serving.
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    • April Marie
      Congratulations to you!!!This is so wonderful!!
    • missyjo
      I've no desire to present androgynous..nothing wrong with it but I am a girl n wish to present as a girl. shrugs, if androgynous works fir others good. always happy someone finds a solution or happiness    today black jeans  black wedges..purple camisole under white n black polka dot blouse half open   soft smile to all 
    • MaeBe
      I have read some of it, mostly in areas specifically targeted at the LGBTQ+ peoples.   You also have to take into account what and who is behind the words, not just the words themselves. Together that creates context, right? Let's take some examples, under the Department of Health & Human Services section:   "Radical actors inside and outside government are promoting harmful identity politics that replaces biological sex with subjective notions of “gender identity” and bases a person’s worth on his or her race, sex, or other identities. This destructive dogma, under the guise of “equity,” threatens American’s fundamental liberties as well as the health and well-being of children and adults alike."   or   "Families comprised of a married mother, father, and their children are the foundation of a well-ordered nation and healthy society. Unfortunately, family policies and programs under President Biden’s HHS are fraught with agenda items focusing on “LGBTQ+ equity,” subsidizing single-motherhood, disincentivizing work, and penalizing marriage. These policies should be repealed and replaced by policies that support the formation of stable, married, nuclear families."   From a wording perspective, who doesn't want to protect the health and well-being of Americans or think that families aren't good for America? But let's take a look at the author, Roger Severino. He's well-quoted to be against LGBTQ+ anything, has standard christian nationalist views, supports conversion therapy, etc.   So when he uses words like "threatens the health and well-being of children and adults alike" it's not about actual health, it's about enforcing cis-gendered ideology because he (and the rest of the Heritage Foundation) believe LGBTQ+ people and communities are harmful. Or when he invokes the family through the lens of, let's just say dog whistles including the "penalization of marriage" (how and where?!), he idealizes families involving marriage of a "biological male to a biological female" and associates LGBTQ+ family equity as something unhealthy.   Who are the radical actors? Who is telling people to be trans, gay, or queer in general? No one. The idea that there can be any sort of equity between LGBTQ+ people and "normal" cis people is abhorrent to the author, so the loaded language of radical/destructive/guise/threaten are used. Families that he believes are "good" are stable/well-ordered/healthy, specifically married/nuclear ones.   Start looking into intersectionality of oppression of non-privileged groups and how that affects the concept of the family and you will understand that these platitudes are thinly veiled wrappers for christian nationalist ideology.   What's wrong with equity for queer families, to allow them full rights as parents, who are bringing up smart and able children? Or single mothers who are working three jobs to get food on plates?
    • Ashley0616
      Well yesterday didn't work like I wanted to. I met a guy and started talking and he was wanting to be in a relationship. I asked my kids on how they thought of me dating a man and they said gross and said no. I guess it's time to look for women. I think that is going to be harder. Oh well I guess.  
    • Ashley0616
      I don't have anything in my dress pocket
    • Carolyn Marie
      This topic reminds me of the lyrics to the Beatles song, "A Little Help From My Friends."   "What do you see when you turn out the lights?"   "I can't tell you but I know it's mine."   Carolyn Marie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      @Ivy have you read the actual document?   Has anyone else out there read it?
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am reading the Project 2025 document https://www.project2025.org/policy/   This will take some time.  I read the forward and I want to read it again later.   I read some criticism of it outside here and I will be looking for it in the light of what has been posted here and there.  Some of the criticism is bosh.   @MaeBe have you read the actual document?
    • RaineOnYourParade
      *older, not holder, oops :P
    • Abigail Genevieve
      No problem!
    • RaineOnYourParade
      Old topic, but I gotta say my favorites are: "Stop hitting on minors" (doesn't work if you're holder tho) and "Sure as [squid] not you"
    • Carolyn Marie
      Abigail, I think we will just leave the other posts where they are, and the discussion can start anew here.  It is possible to do what you ask, but would disrupt the flow of the discussion in the other thread, and would require more work than it's worth.   Carolyn Marie
    • Abigail Genevieve
      I am in too good a mood to earn my certificate today. I am sure something will happen that will put me on the path to earning it.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It's likely most cis-women consider a fitting unnecessary "because they know what  they wear" and get used to the wrong size.  The instructions for what your size is are simple and why go to any further effort?  You measure your bandsize and you measure your max and subtract the two to get the needed info for the cup size.  Then you buy the same size for years until it hurts or something.
    • KatieSC
      Congratulations Lorelei! Yes, it is a powerful feeling to have the documents that say "you are you".
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