Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

What Are Our Dreams Telling Us?


Sally Stone

Recommended Posts

It always grabs my attention when another trans person comments on dreams. I too have trans dreams, but in them, I am always dressed as a woman.  In all my years, I cannot ever remember having a trans dream where I was actually a woman.  I think that is telling.

 

My earliest trans dreams tended to follow a fairly common theme, where being dressed as a woman was causing some sort of problem or personal stress.  In one dream for example, I was forced to venture out without a wig, and in another, I remember having to walk home (a very long walk) with one broken high-heel.  In other dreams, my feminine presentation would create identity issues for me or for others.  Generally, all of those early dreams elicited uncomfortable feelings and I honestly think they mirrored the conscious struggles with my own identity.

 

Later, when I reconciled my gender identity - got comfortable in my own skin, the substance of my dreams began to change.   Gone was the stress and discomfort I experienced previously, but, still, I never dream that I am actually a woman.  Instead, it is always clear to me that physically I am male, even though my presentation is decidedly feminine.

 

It is said the subconscious drives the dream machine, so I can’t help but wonder if my subconscious held the answers to my gender identity questions all along.  It’s also possible that my reconciled gender identity aligning with my dreams is nothing more than simple coincidence.  I don’t know the answer, probably never will, but it is certainly something else a trans person can ponder.        

Link to comment

I tell my therapist some of my dreams, and I have had some weird ones over my lifetime, but she doesn't seem to read too much into them.  I think maybe she gets a kick out of them though ?

I have recently started having dreams as myself (Kay).  Even though I am not Out socially yet, I feel like my mind is somehow preparing me for the future.  Its nice to think so anyway.

Link to comment

Hi mon copine -

Sorry I missed this on Tuesday.

On 9/8/2020 at 6:36 AM, KayC said:

I feel like my mind is somehow preparing me for the future.  Its nice to think so anyway.

 

I can't remember my dreams, but I know what you mean. For me, it's a feeling of femininity. Can't really explain it. Like ... mellow? Just got off my first VA Gender group online session. Only two of us, because they're just starting the group up again after the Covid layoff, and apparently some were having trouble getting into the teleconference. Anyway, I found myself being comfortable talking about my wish to transition, and relating to the other person's similar wish, without much hesitation, and now under my new screen name. I think that might be the same kind of thing. I often say, changing who we are takes practice. As a girl's fastpitch coach, I am certain you can't just drop a girl into fastpitch shortstop, and say, "You're a shortstop now." It takes a lot of practice.

 

A common saying is, "Fake it till you make it." I think that's right on. So I agree with your quote above.

 

~~Hugs, Lee H.~~

Link to comment

    I dream about shopping with groups of girls sometimes. I am trying on clothes and being told I'm beautiful... occasionally. I love the dreams where I am just walking in fields of beautiful flowers. That is my most peaceful sleep. Sometimes the dreams can spiral into bad places but, most of the time my dreams are comforting lately. A year ago I wasn't sleeping enough to dream very often. Times were really bad then. I've been trying to embrace my happiness more and I think that changed my perspective a lot in real life and in my dreams. I have been trying to stay positive about the way I see myself and be loving about who I am, rather than always calling myself names. It's hard to see your own worth when the person you've devoted everything to and sacrificed your own comfort for, is telling you that you have none. I'm better off alone and dreaming I have friends here to be myself with, than with someone that is trying to chase away the people that really care about me. One day I will have these friends here and until then I have what I need with the few that really helped me see my dreams are worth fighting for. Much thanks to all of you. I love reading and sending so many comforting posts every day. We are all showing each other support and sticking together, just like the dreams I always longed to see become reality.?

Link to comment

Hi Abi, sweetheart

You said,

7 hours ago, Abi said:

I have been trying to stay positive about the way I see myself and be loving about who I am, rather than always calling myself names.

Me too. The mirror is compelling, but cruel.

Searching for the silver bullet that will change someone else is no-win. In some recovery methods, we have the "three C's." I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it." Maybe the idea of "detach, with love" is apropos? Letting our own happiness become  contingent on someone else's permission is a dark hole for the soul.

We really are here for you, and we really are a sisterhood. I feel it too.

 

Take care of yourself, and here's a great big hug from,

~~Lee~~

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 112 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • Maddee
    • Mmindy
    • Charlize
    • KymmieL
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,944
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Melissa_J
    Newest Member
    Melissa_J
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Mmindy
      Good morning everyone,   @KymmieLI hope you're misreading your bosses communications. As you say keep plugging a long. Don't give them signs that you're slow quitting, just to collect unemployment.   I have a few things to do business wise, and will be driving to the St. Louis, MO area for two family gatherings.   Have a great day,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • KymmieL
      Good morning everyone, TGIFF   It seems like I am the one keeping or shop from being the best. According to the boss. I don't know if my days are numbered or not. But anymore I am waiting for the axe to fall. Time will tell.   I keep plugging a long.   Kymmie
    • KymmieL
      In the warmer weather, Mine is hitting the road on the bike. Just me, the bike, and the road. Other is it music or working on one of my many projects.   Kymmie
    • LC
      That is wonderful. Congratulations!
    • Heather Shay
      What is relaxation to you? Nature? Movie? Reading? Cuddling with a pet? Music?
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Having just a normal emotional day.
    • Heather Shay
      AMUSEMENT The feeling when you encounter something silly, ironic, witty, or absurd, which makes you laugh. You have the urge to be playful and share the joke with others. Similar words: Mirth Amusement is the emotional reaction to humor. This can be something that is intended to be humorous, like when someone tells a good joke or when a friend dresses up in a ridiculous costume. But it can also be something that you find funny that was not intended to be humorous, like when you read a sign with a spelling error that turns it into an ironic pun. For millennia, philosophers and scholars have been attempting to explain what exactly it is that makes something funny. This has led to several different theories. Nowadays, the most widely accepted one is the Incongruity Theory, which states that something is amusing if it violates our standards of how things are supposed to be. For example, Charlie Chaplin-style slapstick is funny because it violates our norms of competence and proper conduct, while Monty Python-style absurdity is funny because it violates reason and logic. However, not every standard or norm violation is necessarily funny. Violations can also evoke confusion, indignation, or shock. An important condition for amusement is that there is a certain psychological distance to the violation. One of the ways to achieve this is captured by the statement ‘comedy is tragedy plus time’. A dreadful mistake today may become a funny story a year from now. But it can also be distant in other ways, for instance, because it happened to someone you do not know, or because it happens in fiction instead of in real life. Amusement also needs a safe and relaxed environment: people who are relaxed and among friends are much more likely to feel amused by something. A violation and sufficient psychological distance are the basic ingredients for amusement, but what any one person find funny will depend on their taste and sense of humor. There are dozens of ‘humor genres’, such as observational comedy, deadpan, toilet humor, and black comedy. Amusement is contagious: in groups, people are more prone to be amused and express their amusement more overtly. People are more likely to share amusement when they are with friends or like-minded people. For these reasons, amusement is often considered a social emotion. It encourages people to engage in social interactions and it promotes social bonding. Many people consider amusement to be good for the body and the soul. By the end of the 20th century, humor and laughter were considered important for mental and physical health, even by psychoneuroimmunology researchers who suggested that emotions influenced immunity. This precipitated the ‘humor and health movement’ among health care providers who believed that humor and laughter help speed recovery, including in patients suffering from cancer1). However, the evidence for health benefits of humor and laughter is less conclusive than commonly believed2. Amusement is a frequent target of regulation: we down-regulate it by shifting our attention to avoid inappropriate laughter, or up-regulate it by focusing on a humorous aspect of a negative situation. Interestingly, amusement that is purposefully up-regulated has been found to have the same beneficial physical and psychological effects as the naturally experienced emotion. Amusement has a few clear expressions that emerge depending on the intensity of the emotion. When people are mildly amused, they tend to smile or chuckle. When amusement intensifies, people laugh out loud and tilt or bob their head. The most extreme bouts of amusement may be accompanied by uncontrollable laughter, tears, and rolling on the floor. Most cultures welcome and endorse amusement. Many people even consider a ‘good sense of humor’ as one of the most desirable characteristics in a partner. At the same time, most cultures have (implicit) rules about what is the right time and place for amusement. For example, displays of amusement may be deemed inappropriate in situations that demand seriousness or solemness, such as at work or during religious rituals.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!!! Two cups of coffee in the books and I am just feeling so wonderful this morning. Not sure why, but I'm happy and smiling.   Enjoy this beautiful day!!!
    • Heather Shay
      A U.S. dollar bill can be folded approximately 4,000 times in the same place before it will tear. -You cannot snore and dream at the same time. -The average person walks the equivalent of three times around the world in a lifetime. -A hippo’s wide open mouth is big enough to fit a 4-foot-tall child in. -Chewing gum while you cut an onion will help keep you from crying.
    • Susan R
      Love it! This is great news. We need more of this to combat the excessive hate-filled rhetoric and misinformation. 👍
    • Susan R
      The experience was the same for me @April Marie. I slept much deeper and I woke up each morning feeling so much more restful sleeping with forms solidly in place. For me, wearing breast forms at night started when before I was a teenager. I had no access up to modern breast forms and certainly no way to buy mastectomy bras back then. I wore a basic bra my mom had put in a donation box and two pairs of soft cotton socks. I have some crazy memories of things I did in my youth to combat my GD but regardless, these makeshift concoctions helped me work through it all.   All My Best, Susan R🌷
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...