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What do you do with childhood photos


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My MTF daughter didn't come out until she was 20. I'm a super sentimental mom and I don't know what to do about all the photos from her growing up years. I want to be supporting and sensitive. Yet I don't want to just erase the past. Any insight or advice out there?

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Jackie C.

I'd save them. However, your daughter probably doesn't want to see them, so I'd keep them in an album instead of out around the house. We're not usually super nostalgic about the time before our egg cracked and would rather put it behind us.

 

Not to say it didn't happen of course, but our lives don't really start chugging along before we come out.

 

Hugs!

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  • Root Admin

The pictures are yours to keep and cherish for what they mean to you.  Keep them private though until you find how she feels about them, if they were taken at times of love they are fine for you to have.  Perhaps for a while they need to go into albums and come off the mantle or piano tops depending on how she feels.  I am a 70+ year old Trans woman and I am doing a project for my grandchildren who know me that includes pictures of me in the child days, and I find it adds to the totality of my personal story.  Her male self, in my opinion needs to be given a place of honor in her life for keeping her alive to become her true self.  In time she will realize that her male guardian was a wonderful and remarkable person for her and others.  Keep the pictures, but do not shove them in her face, but let her know you loved the person who became her as much as you love her today.

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After my mother died, my father threw out all of my childhood photos. I'd give anything to see them again. There are photos I can recall when I knew who I was and I remember the thought inside my head as my mother snapped the shutter on the camera. I was six years old and I knew ... but could never tell.

 

Keep them safe. I swear she will want to see them some day and she will thankyou.

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Once gone you can never retrieve them. It's just my personal view but I think that until we can fully accept ourselves, both future and past as well as present, we are not totally at peace. When we can then old photographs become part of our story; part of us.

 

Tracy

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Maid In Bedlam

Agrees with Tracy

 

 

I have my childhood photos in a box tucked away. They do see the light of day once in a while. Same goes for my pre-transition pictures. I would never just throw them out. Even if I am now very diffrent to what i looked like then. I more kind of look on them as a past life. What I was is different from what I am now. We all have a past life so to speak. It may not be the past we wanted but you can't change what has been. But I did learn you can change what is yet to happen. As mentioned in this thread throwing them away will not change what has been and at some point, you will regret it. I would more embrace it as what made us who we are now. Just a stepping stone into the reality now. Parents generally grieve as they say for the child who once was but is no more. But what needs to be realised in some cases is. It's the same person just in a different form and with a different perspective on life itself. I hope that makes sense.

 

Just my feelings on this.

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I guess it was selfish of me but when I was younger I tried to avoid being in any pictures. I didn't like what I saw so there are very few of me after I was 9 or 10. I'm not sure any exist of me between the ages of 12-19 at all. I would be out sick on school picture day and became the person taking the pics most other times. Pictures were a reminder of what I was physically but not on the inside. With the exception of a family portrait I think what few there are, are all in a tin box in the closet....which is appropriate guess!!! LOL

 

I've gotten better about letting people take my picture as I realize I'm me no matter what but I'm still the one holding the camera more often than not. I guess that is a part of my life that will always be unreconciled.

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Yeah i struggle with  this issues . . I am not so worried about the baby pictures , but anything after pre-teen make me a bit depress. I agree with some of the ladies. My mom love her pic's. She had then hanging all over her house. So  I didn't make a fuzz cause she need those memories, but once she pass I put in a box  and either use a mark or a white tape to hide my face .While i hate seen my self back in the day's it the only memories i have of my mom.

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MomTGDaughter

I am going to save my daughter's boy pictures, but I am also looking for a digital artist to  retouch these so that they are photos her appearing as a girl. 

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Wow Mom that's a great idea. But As the ladies above my side, they are yr memories so you should keep then for your own 

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