Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

My Brother!


HollyElizabeth

Recommended Posts

I know my brother has only known about my transition for about a week, but come on. Today was the first day he actually saw me dressed, but was the comment to my mother really necessary? He saw me leave the house and he went in and told my mom that I shouldn't wear that stuff out because people wouldn't understand. Mom told him that I've been going out dressed for weeks. He won't say anything directly to me, but he only feels he can talk to my mom.

 

Anyone have anyone like that. LOL

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
3 hours ago, HollyNoel said:

He won't say anything directly to me, but he only feels he can talk to my mom.

 

Anyone have anyone like that. LOL

Yes, HollyNoel...My oldest daughter was very much like this. I mentioned it awhile ago on a older thread. I came out to her and she was with her other 2 daughters. My oldest say to my sisters, “I can accept she wants to be a woman but it’s just so weird!” All of them are over 30 now and you’d think they’d have developed some empathy by then.

 

I have to give her credit now though. She is changing slowly despite having a hubby who is anti LGBTQ+. She recently came over with my 9 year old grandson and she was very supportive when we discussed my upcoming surgeries. Sometimes it takes a couple years to come to terms with your dad becoming a woman.

 

I bet in time you’ll find a little more acceptance and with any luck affirmation from your brother. Sometimes when others start slowly accepting you, family and friends see this accepting of you and begin to understand that not everyone agrees with societal ‘norms’ and rethink things for themselves.  Sometimes they don’t and you realize that they’re always going to be a little immature about the whole thing.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

Link to comment

Some of us have repressed and hidden who we are for a very long time, even to ourselves. It is not surprising that someone who is cis would have no understanding of this. So far I am out only to a select few.

 

My daughters didn't blink an eye. My wife's best friend also accepted immediately. My wife took a while, and I don't even plan to socially transition as I am non binary. What is in my pants will be known by very few.

 

It took multiple conversations, but the Pastor at my bible belt conservative church has accepted it. It has even changed his preaching. With his help, I intend to change the minds of some of our congregation. We just changed the mind of one I thought couldn't possibly be won over last Sunday. He was vocally anti LGBT. There are some who will never accept.

 

Society has ingrained so many that this is not normal or is wrong. Give it time and some more communication. Your brother might come around. I agree with Susan. Sometimes getting part of your family or one of your friends who is supportive can help bring them around.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Link to comment

Thank you girls, I really don't mind him not want to talk directly to me, not really, saves the fights for other things more important. I just wish he could feel comfortable enough to come to me so I could address his concerns and/or questions. I'm not going to take his head off over his not understanding whats happening to me at the moment. I can't even fault him for the feelings he has right now, I realize that as hard as this is for me, it's just as hard for everyone else. All I can ask of anyone is just a bit of understanding and for them to be able to come to me so I can at least talk to them and try to explain whats going on in my head. Turns out that as much of a pain in the butt they were when we were little, they are still a giant pain as adults. lol

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Confused1 said:

 

It took multiple conversations, but the Pastor at my bible belt conservative church has accepted it. It has even changed his preaching. With his help, I intend to change the minds of some of our congregation. We just changed the mind of one I thought couldn't possibly be won over last Sunday. He was vocally anti LGBT.

 

This is seriously amazing, wonderful, and incredibly encouraging to hear! All I can say is: Amen!!! :) The Fab Five would be proud! (Yes, I'm a hopeless fan ;) )

 

@HollyNoel: That's an unfortunate situation to have to deal with. (BTW, I'm super happy for your newfound experiences of passing, and a little bit envious, too :)) As for your family, the only consolation I can think to offer is this:

 

Trans people often spend a lot of time researching and learning about the concept of transgender before ever even reaching out to a support group like this, let alone "coming out" to friends and family. But our cis-gendered loved ones have likely never had reason to research and learn about trans-ness at all until we suddenly spring it on them when we come out. All of of sudden, that throws them straight into the deep end of a swimming pool they were never prepared for in the first place, so it's only natural they will have a difficult time adjusting, and will inevitably make mistakes. They're trying to adjust and make sense of things, much like we did, but they're doing it in only a mere moment, or mere days/weeks, whereas many of us have already spent months or years learning about trans-ness and acclimating ourselves to it.

 

So even though, no doubt, yours can be an excruciating limbo for a trans person to find themself in in the meantime, I think it's worthwhile to remember that most of our cis-gendered loved ones are much, much bigger novices to trans-ness than any of us are. It's a very sudden shock to them, unlike the gradual lifelong progression many of us have dealt with. It will take them time, and they will inevitably make mistakes as they frantically try to learn which way is up. The best we can do to help them adjust to this new revelation about us is to give them the same patience and understanding we hope to receive from them, and also, if/whenever they're willing, our guidance in acclimating to this world of transgender that's even newer, and less familiar, to them than it is to us. Even though they may be shocked, if they're true, genuine friends/family, then they're also going to be terribly worried for you, and protective of you in the only, perhaps uninformed, ways they know how.

 

In your case, from what you describe, it doesn't sound to me like your brother is against you, or bigoted, or anything remotely like that. It sounds to me like he genuinely cares for you and your well-being, and is simply too caught-off-guard, and still too much of a novice to the transgender world to know how best to react and how best to help you and deal with his instinct to keep you safe.

 

So hang in there, it sounds like you have good, caring family already - it's just going to take some time for the the dust settle. In the meantime, any guidance they're willing to accept from you will help, so be willing and ready to offer it.

 

Link to comment

Thank you Heathick. All I can offer him at this point is the time he needs to accept the real me. And as far as I'm concerned, he can have as much as he wants or needs. You can't rush someone through this, they have to go at their own speed. I know he will eventually come around. Oh crap, I got to get ready for my hormone doctors appointment. Takes me forever to do my face. lol. On the upside, the nurses at my other doctors office say I do a good job with my makeup. I'm glad, I don't want to look like a clown. lol.

 

Wish me luck ladies.. Hug Holly!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 89 Guests (See full list)

    • Ashley0616
    • Mmindy
    • Mallory Mayson
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.5k
    • Total Posts
      767.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      11,941
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Miss Cormac
    Newest Member
    Miss Cormac
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Amyjay
      Amyjay
      (58 years old)
    2. bettyjean
      bettyjean
    3. Breanna
      Breanna
      (52 years old)
    4. Emily Ayla
      Emily Ayla
    5. JET182
      JET182
  • Posts

    • Ashley0616
      I used to follow baseball and the team I would cheer for is Boston Red Sox. My favorite player was Papi. He was an awesome guy and even held a child during the National Anthem. I haven't watched baseball for a long time. It just died off to me. 
    • Ashley0616
      That stinks that nothing transferred, and no bookmarks were saved! 
    • Ashley0616
      I'm doing patches for now but I think soon I'll go to shots because it's hard to alternate when you are doing two xx patches at once. Unless she gives me Estradiol and progesterone
    • Sally Stone
      Go Cleveland Guardians!  I love baseball and I loved playing it when I was younger.  
    • Sally Stone
      My view is we are "dependent" on government, because as a society, we are too lazy to stay actively involved. So, we let politicians do our bidding for us.  I think we'd be in a better place government wise if we policed the actions of our politicians.  We elected them; they work for us.  Sadly, we are allowing them to run amok.  We are where we are because we have chosen to let politicians make all decisions without us.  Remember "by the people, for the people?" That was the intent of our democracy.  Today, however, it is "by the politicians, for the politicians," the people be damned. 
    • Mmindy
      "Play Ball! Batter Up!" is the closing line of the National Anthem as far as I'm concerned. It's the call of the Home Plate Umpire and signals the start of the game. I grew up in the TV and Radio broadcast of the St. Louis Cardinals. Harry Caray, Jack Buck, Tim McCarver, and Mike Shannon, were the voices on my transistor radio. KMOX 1120 AM pushing 50,000 watts of Class A clear-channel non-directional signal. It could be picked up all across MO, IL, IN to the East. KS, OK, CO to the West. IA, MN to the North, and KY, TN, AR to the South. There has always been a rivalry against the Chicago Cubs, in the National League. As for the American League, I have to pull for the Kansas City Royals. I've also been a Little League Umpire, and fan of everything the Little League stands for. Going to Williamsport, PA and seeing the Little League World Series is in my top 10 things to do on my bucket list.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Mmindy
      Good evening everyone,   I don't think my mother ever cooked a meal that I didn't like. We also had a kitchen where mom fixed the food, dad filled your plate, and you eat it. It wasn't until our baby brother was born that we could have Pop-Tarts for snacks. Before that all snacks had to meet mom's approval, and in her opinion wouldn't prevent you from eating supper.   Well my day started off on a good note, but has become frustrating because my IT person didn't transfer my saved videos I use for teaching. Then I found out that they didn't save any of my book marks for websites I use frequently.   Best wishes, stay motivated,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • MaeBe
      The number is relative to method of deliver, the time of the dose, and when the blood is drawn. However, I do want to keep away from DVT and other potential issues. I assume I may be getting backed down from my current dose, but my doc told me to stick with the higher dose, so? I also wonder if this has anything to do the my breast growth and mental changes that have been happening over the past few years, like I have some estrogen sensitivity so a little goes a long way or something? I don't have enough data to postulate, but who knows!   With weekly, subcutaneous, shots you expect to see big swings of serum level estradiol from shot to peak to trough. My doctor is interested in mid-week testing (for E and T levels only), which would be post-peak blood serum levels but they will be higher than trough. Most, if not all, resources I've seen online is to measure at trough (which I might do just to do it next time) along with a SHBG, LH, and other metrics.   This is from transfemscience.org for Estradiol valerate in oil, which is very spiky compared to some other estradiol combinations. It's also for intramuscular, which will have a slower uptake and is usually dosed in higher volume due to the slower absorption rate from muscles. They don't have subcutaneous numbers, which I would expect to see similar spikes but higher levels at similar doses due to the relatively higher absorption rate direct from fat.   Are you doing pills, shots, or patches? And when you do get your levels checked are you getting that done when your levels are lowest or some other time?
    • Willow
      Both of my parents were from the “North Shore” of Boston.  My mother Lynn and my father Swampscot.  They had an early 1900s Scots-Irish New England diet.  My sister and I were born in the 40s in Ohio well away from New England seafood and in an area where food was more German and Polish.  My first experience with liver and onions was during basic training.  They ate salt cod but never forced us to eat it same with oysters.  My dad ate oysters but my mother wouldn’t.  Anyone who ever ate an oyster can figure that one out.  I grew up eating lamb.  My wife won’t touch it. I love brazed ox tail, again no way. And the list goes on.  
    • KathyLauren
      My mother was German, so yes, I think it was a cultural thing.  If I'd known you when we were cleaning out my mother's place, I could have sent you her "threat jar". 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Been taking it real easy.Another good neighbor of mine and his 15 year old son came over and cut down a couple dead trees on my property.Knew not to do it taking it easy.I had them put the wood near my fire pit in the back yard.Did it and happy where they put it.They knew I had stents put in and needed to take it easy
    • Ashley0616
      Wow that is a high number for Estradiol good grief! Testosterone levels are better than mine. I don't remember my Estradiol level but testosterone was 80. To me that is really high but it was in the two hundreds the check in before last one. 
    • Ivy
      I don't understand why this would make a difference being a "dad" I mean, as far as how they would grow.
    • Ashley0616
      I don't see why not. I have worn forms since I came out. 
    • MaeBe
      I have never worn breastforms, but I assume as long as they don't aggravate your nipples you could.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...