Introduction Post

[K.S.S]

Hello, I'd like to be referred to as K, I'm 21 years old and not very good at introductions because talking about myself makes me uncomfortable. 

I was raised in one of those "suffer in silence" families but now that I'm /mostly/ away from that, I figured it was time to come out. I finally told my immediate family a couple of weeks ago and my mother's advice was to "find people like me" because she doesn't feel equipped to help. So here I am. 

I live in hillbilly nation so coming out to my coworkers (and some friends and family) isn't something I necessarily want to do, and even though I do know a few trans people, they're not people I really want to share this with. Basically, I'm stuck in this rut of presenting as a female and not wanting to get up in the morning. Honestly, the only reason I'm still alive at all is because I have pets to look after. 

[Jackie C.]

Hey sweetie! Which part of Hillbilly Nation do you live in? I'm in the vicinity of Detroit and it's not so bad here. ?

 

Welcome to Transpulse! Please feel free to look around, ask questions and share whatever you're comfortable with. I think you'll find we're a pretty welcoming and understanding bunch.

 

My family was more, "Suck it up, I don't want to hear it," but I think I get where you're coming from. Yay, Midwestern culture, right?

 

So yeah, looking forward to getting to know you. You're not alone.

 

Hugs!

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, K.  Please look around the forums and I'm sure you're going to find topics and people you can relate to and ask questions of.  Life does get better, and even in Hillbilly Nation there are surely some LGBT centers you can check out and find like-minded friends in.  Feeling alone is not something anyone should have to accept.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[KathyLauren]

Welcome, K.

 

I realize that things are a bit different where you are, compared to where I am.  But we have actual hillbillies here, as well as farmers and fishermen.  No one has given me a hard time at all.  So some hillbillies are okay.

 

Regards,

Kathy

[Susan R]

7 hours ago, K.S.S said:

I was raised in one of those "suffer in silence" families but now that I'm /mostly/ away from that, I figured it was time to come out.

Hello @K.S.S Welcome! I lived in one of these “suffer in silence” families...actually it was more of the old military unspoken rule “Don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of families but either way, the damage was done. we learn to muddle through it...most of us.

 

8 hours ago, K.S.S said:

my mother's advice was to "find people like me" because she doesn't feel equipped to help. So here I am.

Well, I have to chalk one up for your Mom, first, she admits she doesn’t have the capability to help you out properly which with some parents this is not the case. They just jump in and tell you it’s a phase and to suck it up. Good on her!

Lastly, your mom told you to reach out to others who might be able to empathize and understand your particular situation much better. Obviously, I don’t know all that she said but with what you wrote here, there wasn’t any bad advice or judgement. That’s more than most experience in our community.

 

8 hours ago, K.S.S said:

Basically, I'm stuck in this rut of presenting as a female and not wanting to get up in the morning. Honestly, the only reason I'm still alive at all is because I have pets to look after.

If you haven’t already, you might ask you mom if there any way she might assist you in finding a good gender focused therapist too. Your mom does seem understanding of your need for help. Let her know that this would be a life changing step in the right direction. Therapy might help you get out of this current “rut” and way of thinking. There so much more to life after finding your true self and a good support system. Keep your head up!

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

 

[KayC]

Hi K!  (I'm Kay too! ?) nice to meet you, and Welcome!

This is a great place to find community and connection, as well as a great deal of experience and support.  I am much (MUCH) older, but I too grew up in a "silent suffering" family.  The good news is that you are gaining self-awareness and self-acceptance at a young age.  Many of us lived a full lifetime of hidden suffering, anxiety, and fear (and not even knowing why)

 

Please be sure to lean on the many Members here for that support.

 

19 hours ago, K.S.S said:

Honestly, the only reason I'm still alive at all is because I have pets to look after. 

 

Well ... Pets ARE family, and the Love in Unconditional❣️

Deep breaths ... one step at a time

[Timber Wolf]

 

 

Hi K,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf ?

[K.S.S]

On 9/20/2020 at 2:10 AM, KayC said:

Hi K!  (I'm Kay too! ?) nice to meet you, and Welcome!

This is a great place to find community and connection, as well as a great deal of experience and support.  I am much (MUCH) older, but I too grew up in a "silent suffering" family.  The good news is that you are gaining self-awareness and self-acceptance at a young age.  Many of us lived a full lifetime of hidden suffering, anxiety, and fear (and not even knowing why)

 

Please be sure to lean on the many Members here for that support.

 

 

Well ... Pets ARE family, and the Love in Unconditional❣️

Deep breaths ... one step at a time

It's nice to meet you too! I honestly didn't think I'd get any responses so I didn't come back for a while..  nerves I guess. 

I think I feel guilty because I knew for as long as I did but I kept my mouth shut because I met someone else who was transmasculine and I "didn't want to be a copycat". I know now that it was stupid but teenagers usually are. 

Thank you for giving me your time of day, this kind of support is all very new for me and I really appreciate it. 

[SaraAW]

Hi K and welcome! Here you will definitely find support and community, as well as a place where you can feel free to be yourself.

 

I grew up in a very white cis hetero area that is very bigoted still (not to far from Detroit, MI, but in Canada), yet my reception to those I have come out to from that area has been incredible so far, you may be surprised at how caring and open minded some of those people can be. That being said, you do what you need to feel and be safe, as that is paramount.

 

Have a wonderful day, stay safe! Hugs!

[K.S.S]

On 9/19/2020 at 3:16 PM, Susan R said:

Hello @K.S.S Welcome! I lived in one of these “suffer in silence” families...actually it was more of the old military unspoken rule “Don’t ask, don’t tell” kind of families but either way, the damage was done. we learn to muddle through it...most of us.

 

Well, I have to chalk one up for your Mom, first, she admits she doesn’t have the capability to help you out properly which with some parents this is not the case. They just jump in and tell you it’s a phase and to suck it up. Good on her!

Lastly, your mom told you to reach out to others who might be able to empathize and understand your particular situation much better. Obviously, I don’t know all that she said but with what you wrote here, there wasn’t any bad advice or judgement. That’s more than most experience in our community.

 

If you haven’t already, you might ask you mom if there any way she might assist you in finding a good gender focused therapist too. Your mom does seem understanding of your need for help. Let her know that this would be a life changing step in the right direction. Therapy might help you get out of this current “rut” and way of thinking. There so much more to life after finding your true self and a good support system. Keep your head up!

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?

 

Hi Susan, I'm sorry for taking so long to respond, you really got me thinking, especially about my mother. Every time we talk she's read new articles or been sending me links to information online. I honestly should be more grateful to her for everything she's doing because I know it's way out of her comfort zone, but everytime I try I start to cry haha. 

I will ask her about gender focused therapists. I tried therapy a long time ago but I never really opened up to them and it felt like I was wasting her money. Maybe now that I have my own income I can find something. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and advice, I'm glad to have met you. 

On 9/19/2020 at 8:50 AM, Jackie C. said:

Hey sweetie! Which part of Hillbilly Nation do you live in? I'm in the vicinity of Detroit and it's not so bad here. ?

 

Welcome to Transpulse! Please feel free to look around, ask questions and share whatever you're comfortable with. I think you'll find we're a pretty welcoming and understanding bunch.

 

My family was more, "Suck it up, I don't want to hear it," but I think I get where you're coming from. Yay, Midwestern culture, right?

 

So yeah, looking forward to getting to know you. You're not alone.

 

Hugs!

Hi! I actually live about two hours away from Detroit, but I've been going there for concerts for many years haha! Did they ever say "If it's not flooding and nobody's bleeding, I don't want to hear about it." ? That one was pretty common, even in school.  

My town is pretty small and is known for having a very conservative population. It's a little scary to be living here, but as long as I don't put a target on my back by being different... what was it you said? "Yay midwestern culture, right?" Haha.

I'm very excited (and a lil nervous) to get to know you too. 

Warmly, K ?

[K.S.S]

13 hours ago, SaraAW said:

Hi K and welcome! Here you will definitely find support and community, as well as a place where you can feel free to be yourself.

 

I grew up in a very white cis hetero area that is very bigoted still (not to far from Detroit, MI, but in Canada), yet my reception to those I have come out to from that area has been incredible so far, you may be surprised at how caring and open minded some of those people can be. That being said, you do what you need to feel and be safe, as that is paramount.

 

Have a wonderful day, stay safe! 

I will definitely keep this in mind, after all my mother's reaction was incredible. I do know a few transgender women at my work who don't get treated very well by some so I am cautious but you've given me hope, thank you.