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guerillagrue

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Sorry, I've just always wanted to say that.

 

Umm . . . hi! I'm guerillagrue, AKA Melanie E. I'm 33, MtF, and honestly came across this forum earlier tonight looking for resources on local help in beginning the process of transition.

 

According to y'all's resource guide closest thing is half the state away. *Great.*

 

Let's see, what else . . . .

 

Oh! I currently live at home with my folks, both of whom are disabled. I help with important things like watching the dog when they're out, answering the door for people they don't want to talk to and telling them they're asleep, and keeping my dad from doing Foolish Things when he's out in his shop. I also make money selling art and music (mostly the art) by commission, and have a few ebooks for sale too (though I'll wait to hock those 'til I'm a bit better known 'round these parts!)

 

I'm a long-time member of the trans fiction site Big Closet Top Shelf, where I use the screen name 'rasufelle.' So, if any of y'all frequent that place or its discord, hi! And please, don't spread *too* many embarrassing stories about me around. I mostly write romantic teenage or young adult fiction and coming-of-age stories -- NON-erotic, thankewverrahmuch! -- featuring transgirls who end up liking Hunky Boys. It's my Thing.

 

So, why am I here then? Well, I already mentioned I stumbled across this place looking for info on how to proceed with transition, and . . . yeah. I've been meaning to pursue full-on get-the-'plasty-and-go transition since I was a teen and learned it was a Thing, but for a number of reasons (mostly financial) I've just never felt like the time was really right to pursue it. Well, guess what? I turn 34 this year, and money or not I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, and dealing with all the 'stuff' I don't wanna have and the lack of other things I do. So, money and insurance be damned, I am bound and determined to be on the path to transition before the year's out.

 

With any luck, I can do that without resorting to self-medicating, a solution I've kept myself away from for years but is looking, unfortunately, more and more inevitable. I've been out to family since I was 18 or so, and it's just . . . it's WAY past time for me to do something, you know?

 

So, how're y'all?

 

Melanie E.

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  • Forum Moderator

Hey @guerillagrue! Lovely to meet you! I've got a long-time friend that posts on Big Closet Top Shelf! I'm completely blanking on their username right now though.

 

Welcome to TransPulse. Please familiarize yourself with the rules. No soliciting I'm afraid.

 

Don't self-medicate either. That's a very good way to hurt yourself and stall your transition permanently. Bad idea. Always take HRT under the supervision of a doctor who knows what they're doing. I am utterly unfamiliar with Arkansas, but look to the nearest medical college and see if they have a program. There should be someone within a couple of hours by car that can help you out.

UofM, for example, is just thirty minutes away for me. Though driving in Ann Arbor is absolutely miserable. You might be able to work out something with remote visits too. Give blood at place X, your endo at place Y looks it over you talk via Skype and the prescriptions go to your local pharmacy. It's what I'm doing right now since my endo realized that we don't actually DO anything in the office except chat. No need to waste the gas.

 

Looking forward to hearing more from you!

 

Hugs!

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4 hours ago, guerillagrue said:

Umm . . . hi! I'm guerillagrue, AKA Melanie E. I'm 33, MtF, and honestly came across this forum earlier tonight looking for resources on local help in beginning the process of transition.

Good morning Melanie,

 

I'm glad you found TransPulseForums, and want you to know there is support and a place for your questions. 

 

Mindy?????

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@guerillagrue welcome. It was no accident you found this forum. You are seeking a place for safe honest loving sharing ladies who are just like you and support and advice to your questions and concerns unconditionally.

 

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Hi Melanie!  nice to meet you, and Welcome!

5 hours ago, guerillagrue said:

So, why am I here then? Well, I already mentioned I stumbled across this place looking for info on how to proceed with transition

I pretty much found this Forum for the same reasons.  And what you will find here is a wide range of Members and a great deal of experience and support for you.  So, besides the Resources page, the real-life day-to-day challenges and victories of all the lovely Members here will be your greatest resource and benefit.  I predict ?

Looking forward to hearing more from you❣️

 

Deep breaths ... one step at a time

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Thanks everyone for the warm welcome!

 

I know there's no soliciting as a general rule, Jackie: there IS a place to talk about trans books and stuff, though, so if I just HAPPEN to ask there if anyone's read mine . . . :P For real, though, I'll make doubly sure I don't break any of the posting rules, that's the last thing I want and I'm honestly not here with "SELL MY BOOKS!" as a real priority, even if a few extra bucks in the bank would be nice.

 

Everyone here seems really cool so far. I don't know how active I'll be here, especially for the moment, but I'm glad I found this place: it really does look like a decent resource to start from.

 

Oh, and as for nearest medical college: that IS the place that's half the state away! Alas, Arkansas has one bastion of modernity, and that is Little Rock. Whereas where I live half the roads still aren't paved . . . .

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Welcome!  Jackie's advice on finding telehealth options is very doable nowadays.  You may need to see a psychologist/LCSW for recommendation for hormones first though.  Also, totally doable on telehealth nowadays. I haven't met my counselor or endocrinologist in person in fact.  It's been easy to do all that.  Now, a year or two away when you are thinking about surgeries then you are going to have to meet people in person but even then, it's not many visits.  

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Thanks :)

 

Right now I'm waiting to try and get some form of health coverage before I make a big move. I'm self-employed, and not making a tremendous amount a month, but we're hoping that my being home to help my folks will help me get on medi-something to alleviate some of the costs of personal care.

 

*fingers crossed*

 

 

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Hello Melanie!

Welcome.  Being sick and tired of being sick and tired is good enough reason to start moving forward, even if slowly.  You are not too old if you were concerned about that.  I wouldn't be worries about anyone "talking out of school" about you.  It's not that kind of site and we're not that type of group.  

 

We had an author here (since departed) who published on Smashwords.  Most of the selections there are free though.  She had offered a code for anyone who wanted to read her books for free.  Not a good income earning model but it wasn't her goal.  Anyway, its just a thought.

 

You might look into Planned Parenthood for HRT if they are in your locality, and they offer the service.  Not all do.  Best of luck moving forward.  Please post when you can.  You'll find lots of caring support here.

 

Cheers,
Jani 

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On 9/20/2020 at 3:02 AM, guerillagrue said:

Umm . . . hi! I'm guerillagrue, AKA Melanie E. I'm 33, MtF, and honestly came across this forum earlier tonight looking for resources on local help in beginning the process of transition.

 

According to y'all's resource guide closest thing is half the state away. *Great.*

 

Melanie E.

 

Hi Melanie,

 

I don't know what part of the state you live in, but there are PFLAG, and therapy resources in NWA (Fayetteville). If you live on the Eastern side, Memphis should have what you need. On the South end there is Shreveport and to the North Springfield. I live in AR as well, and know about backwards places without good roads.

 

You should also be able to find resources by Googling "psychology today transgender resources"

 

I am getting GCS in Kansas City next year, because I am on Medicare and that limits my possibilities for anywhere local. Most therapists, doctors, surgeons, etc., now do telehealth as Jackie and Bri suggested.

 

Hugs,

Mike

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