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Goodbye Adam's Apple. I won't miss you.


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Tracheal shave in 3 hours. This is my third attempt. Previous two were cancelled due to covid.


Wish me luck!


Heres my last picture ... fresh from the shower.


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Luck! May it give you the results you're hoping for!



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Best of luck.  I know you will like the results! 


BTW, you are so feminine looking!  Yes! 

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Good luck @Berni. I'm fat so all I have is the double chin to hide my adam's apple.. lol

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So. 24hours later. Just had a shave (as best I could) and moisturized my face. Feeling so much better.


Have a bit of swelling and numbness (not to mention stitches and tape).


But no more lump! Yah!


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Wow Berni you look amazing.

Congrats. Girl


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WOW your looking good Berni. You can really see the difference in your before and after photos.

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You look great Berni and that scar will not last.  


Hugs, Jani

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You look great @Berni. It’s hard to believe it was that fast and you’re back and looking like it was nothing. Looks like your doctor did a nice job.

I’m curious...Are there any temporary changes in your voice, the feeling while breathing in or out or when you swallow? I realize some differences are natural but how was the overall experience?


Susan R🌷

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3 hours ago, Susan R said:

You look great @Berni. It’s hard to believe it was that fast and you’re back and looking like it was nothing. Looks like your doctor did a nice job.

I’m curious...Are there any temporary changes in your voice, the feeling while breathing in or out or when you swallow? I realize some differences are natural but how was the overall experience?


Susan R🌷

Hi @Susan R,


I've had a bit of swelling ... even after the second picture was taken ... so I had a bit of a fat neck for a day or two. This was kind of uncomfortable for a while and made Swallowing food (but thankfully not breathing) difficult. The swelling seems less today (day 3) and I'm much more comfortable and eating is easier.


My neck is a little sore and itchy where the stitches are and quite sore inside where, I guess, they had things poked down my throat so that they could see exactly what they were doing (the procedure was called microlaryngoscopy) ... so my throat is sore "inside" as if I had a normal "sore throat" and my voice is a little hoarse ... again like when you have a traditional sore throat.


By far, the worst part of the procedure, was the effects of general anesthetics .... which always affects me very badly making me I feel  very nauseous for hours afterwards.


The odd thing I feel, which I wasn't expecting, is this feeling of really "outing" myself. Since the operation,  I've been hiding at home a bit because I can't really "explain away" what I've done. I had my Adam's apple removed and its going to be super obvious for weeks while the scars heal. There isnt really a "non-trans" reason for doing that.


So ... here I am with nowhere to hide.


The day after the operation, an old work friend invited me to a party at their house next weekend. There will be a combination of old friends, who haven't seen me for 12 months or more, as well as people I still see at work each day.


There WILL be questions.


I'm a little nervous.

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2 hours ago, Berni said:

I had my Adam's apple removed and its going to be super obvious for weeks while the scars heal. There isnt really a "non-trans" reason for doing that.

It's no one elses business, but I would deflect with humour. Tell them you got it fighting off a ninja assassin or being Black Widow's stunt double for her new film...  Or wear a loose but llight neck scarf x 


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1 hour ago, DeeDee said:

It's no one elses business, but I would deflect with humour. Tell them you got it fighting off a ninja assassin or being Black Widow's stunt double for her new film...  Or wear a loose but llight neck scarf x 


Thanks @DeeDee. That's exactly the advice my wife has been giving me ... its nobody's business. Pretty sure I'll wear a scarf ... the stitches and tape are pretty ugly.

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Thankyou again everyone for your kind words. I am very happy with how it looks so far ... though I can't wait to see what it looks like with the stitches and tape removed.


It's a bit scarey ... despite having been on HRT for the past 5 months ... I feel like I've really nailed my colors to the mast now.


Im trans ... and I'm taking no prisoners!

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My throat was sore for a day or so since my doctor used a scope to help determine how much he could shave off without affecting the vocal chords.  You could just tell anyone who asks that you had a small growth removed, and leave it at that.  They can figure it out themselves.  Our health history is really no ones business.  Yes there may be questions, but probably more about your looks.  You're looking good! 

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    • MaryMary
      Well, first of all they are entitled to their opinions but it doesn't change anything at all about my reality and the rest of the society. It's just that, their opinions. Also, a lot of things they say is just simply ignorant. They was I see myself is male (like in the expression AMAB).   So if you are someone who see gender totally biogically then yes, I'm a male. That's something I have no control over and that people imposed on me at my birth. I spent a lot of my teenage years going from doctors to doctors because I had ... anatomy related particularities. I'm not intersex but I know what they are going trough because I lived a good portion of it. Enough, in fact, to know both by experience and knowledge that a lot of what they are saying is just not true.   Examples : 1: I know of a person (let's stay gender neutral for the good of the argument) who was intersex. That person was a lab rat all their childhood and at some point they forced them to have male genitals. They don't have womb because of the way the intersex thing was expressed in their development. Yet, they do have XX chromosome and they do have no womb and do have male genitals.   Now, what happens then you think? To me this is a case that express just where they go wrong with their arguments. That person don't identify as male. They just don't. They don't have a womb, don't have and really never had female genitals. They also express themselves in a very masculine way. But still, they identify themselves as a woman and to them it's a form of medical horror that someone dared give them a male genitalia without their consent when they were young.    So what are they? A woman. Why, really???? Because they identify as such. They do have the XX but nobody knows that except themselves and the 100 doctors they saw growing up, lol And more importantly they knew at 30 years old the fact that they had XX chromosome.   2:   Another intersex person that have gone trough the same process as me or others were born with XX, were assigned male genitalia and they are perfectly happy with that and identify as a man. But, they have XX so biogically they are female no? Yet, nothing... nothing about them is female except the chromosome. Are they a woman or a man? Well, a man because they identify as such.   In conclusion, in my opinion, identities are built in the brain. It's a result of zones of our brains developing a certain way and growing in a certain way. It's not "female" brain or "male" brains. It's just the identity software in the brain that is that way. It's also not necessarely related to the soul or other religious beliefs. It's something physical that happens in the brain. To link gender and identities with biological markers are misleading because like I always say if a woman have a big cancer and they must remove the womb, the genitalia and the breasts she will still be a woman. In fact, it's critical for us to realise that for the well being of that person.   Do my examples deal with exceptions? Yes. Trans persons are also the exception. The last statistic I saw is that we are 0.3% of the total population. For me, it's a question of respect. Be it cancer, intersex, transgender or anything else that might affect identity. It's a very small thing to respect the other and use the right pronouns.   If that person want to be activist and have an opinion then good on them. But, that doesn't change anything. The sad thing here is that they are victim and we also are victim of the simplification we make when talking about biological sex. The chromosomes are a good example. XX, XY, I agree that for most people those are good enough and you can extrapolate the gender based on that. But it's not true for everybody. It's not always that simple and that clear.  Some have XX, some XY, some XXY, some XXX, some just X, I've read some articles where people were having a mix! yes! lol   For me it's a question of respect and letting everybody have a chance to emancipate the way they want. Me, I don't know what are my chromosome yet. My family doctor think I am intersex. Many doctors thaught that over the years. I really don't think so... wishfull thinking is my main thaught about that, lol I know I'm trans (or any other words that express that reality) since I'm very young and my voice didn't matured. I had to learn how to talk with a deep voice. I saw many gynechologists growing up without knowing what they wanted and why they were observing me. I identify as a woman and that's should be enough for everybody.   that was my 2 cents... a long post like that it's more like 10 cents at least. lol  
    • Victoria94
      Hello everyone. Been a while since I went on here and wrote, but it has been a really stressfull time. With both my inner struggle and a lot of working. (Yes I tend to work a lot of night shifts when I need to be by myself and think things over) Wanted to keep everyone updated since you all have been so welcoming and offered so much help and inputs.   Since I told my friend about me ha have been very suportive. I told him I was gonna start growing my hair out, but everytime someone comented on how long my hair have become I usally ended up skinning it off. Which he offered me to use him as an "excuse" in that we had both agreed to save our hair to some donation. And if anyone asked my if I was gonna cut it of soon they should call him.   He also helped me get through to my mother as well and got her to realise that I needed to tell her something. She have been maybe a bit to suportive to be hones.😅 She started telling me about other people in the same situation as me as if she was teaching me about the subject, but dhould have realised that she would be a bit much to handle. Had to stop her when she asked if I wanted her to tell my sister about me. Honestly I know she wants to help, but telling my sister should be up to me. And she is coming home tomorow. I am really wondering how and when to tell her and how she will react. All in all I really start to look brighter on things. Might gonna relocate to a bigger town where there is a comunity I can lean on. But for now I am going to the doctor on monday and ask to be sent up to my therapist again and start up where I left things.   I just have to say thanks to you all as well. It was a little nudge from you all, but it set things in motion again and made me feel better.   Love Victoria
    • MaryMary
      Yes, loved that too. I was waking up at night to feed the babies because I liked holding them skin to skin and singing beatles songs like let it be to them (hey, my name is mary so it's my lullaby song lol) I also went to those meetings moms have with my ex and talked with the girls (mostly listen and sometimes talk). I also took the courses for breastfeeding with my ex and knew everything there is to know about that, lol I also created a Mary profile back then and was on a couple of mom facebook groups. I did everything there was to do back then and still my brain is pretty much always thinking about them, how to best do my job of raising them.   I did everything I could, I was loving having children and still love them more then anything.   The male front to me was just that, a front. One thing I realized at the birth of my son is that the male front was not adapted to do the job of father at all. In fact, the real me, Mary is still 100% better at parenting and being the father then the male front could ever be. The birth of my son was the event that basically made it impossible for the male front to keep his dominent possition in my brain. That was the beginning of the end for him. From the birth of my son and since then it'S been Mary all the way and the male front took less and less place until I came out and it died.   Since I took the breastfeeding courses and all I know full well how though and not as instinctive it is for many woman. We think of breastfeeding as something that's natural and automatic but it's far from the case. Many cis woman are not able to do it at all because they lack the education to do it properly or they just can't for other reasons. That's way back in the days there was such a think as womans that were professionnal breastfeeders. There was also a need for woman to get together and actually learn how to do it from older, more experienced woman.   I'm proud when I look back at how it went for me that I was able to help my ex a lot in being able to do it properly. She breastfed the two and it went very well. Also, it's a good think to be skin to skin with a baby and there's no shame in the baby being close to you and your breast. My ex was collecting her milk when she was not able to breastfeed and I was giving the bottle to them and was very close. It happened once that the baby caught a bit of skin and they are sucking hard lol No wonder some woman find it painfull.   The funny thing is to see a newborn baby try to feed and to see just how bad they are at it in the beginning. It becomes easier with the mother learning but also the baby learning 🤣
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    • QuestioningAmber
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    • KathyLauren
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    • Emily michelle
      I really wish I could carry a child. I would gladly take a period too. I asked my endocrinologist if I would be able to breastfeed when my wife and I have a baby. She said that since I’m on spiro I can’t apparently it’s not good for milk and also she doesn’t think I could make enough milk. If something happens and I could I would do it in a heartbeat.
    • Astrid
      One way you can chose to come out is by letter.  This is the way that I chose, and there are several others in the Transpulse community who have done the same.  It gives you a chance to carefully decide what you want to say and how to say it (which can be hard if you come out in a speech when you're nervous).     Hugs, and best wishes on your journey ahead!   Astrid
    • Carolyn Marie
      Welcome to Trans Pulse, Sukey.  Your English is excellent, so congrats on that!  I wish you all the best if you choose to come out to your parents.  Good luck with transitioning in China.  I would imagine it will not be easy.  Please do look around the forums and post questions and comments.  We'll be there to support you.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Jandi
      I always loved watching my ex nursing our children, and was very jealous of her. One time when our 2nd was still a newborn, she was laying on my bare chest and managed to find my nipple.  Yikes!  I was completely taken by surprise.  (I considered myself a straight cis guy at the time) I have never forgotten the feeling - even though there was nothing for her of course. Just thinking about it now…  
    • shelly_koleva83
      I want to add that 'male' and 'man', 'female' and 'woman' are not the same. They are separate and they are a bit related to each other, commonly, but not always. I get that for myself! 
    • shelly_koleva83
      Interesting!  Would you explain to me like perceiving that I am a total dummy, how their premise is false?    I get that the whole 'female' term is build on the pure physiological and anatomical 'distinction' between 'men' and 'women'. So, I don't think that genitals determine people, because I know women born with vaginas who are worst than men as aggressors, bullies, etc. But they build their case on this - overrating people genitals to extent that people think that 'female body' defines ' woman' as a role, identity, etc. So, we are forced to accept that we have what is determined by humans (nature don't put and don't cares about labels. Nature allow us to survive GCSurgery), to be 'male body'/organism who has the genital function to impregnate, eventually, nothing more. Okay! But that is just a function that many of us don't relate at all. Many of us don't relate in this way with their penises at all. If tomorrow I woke up with vagina, I will be as better as that 'philosopher' even better!    Please, share your point of view with more details! Write me on PM if you like! 
    • VickySGV
      She had to include Whitmer as the CIC of the General in order to reach the General. The old "just following orders" defense made infamous at Nuremberg.  It will be interesting if Whitmer's response it to tell the General to knock off the policy though.  My question is why this is in Federal Court when for now it is a state matter.  Legal tactics can be as strange as military tactics.  Lets hope the case becomes moot in the next three months.
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