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Name Change


HollyNoel

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Well I took another big girl step and filled out and printed my legal name change documents. I'm so sad and nervous for this, almost scared to file the paperwork. Once I do this it will be like the death of the old me. This is the person I've always been. It feels like I'm saying good bye to a really close family member. If you are asking, YES! I am in tears right now. Damn Estrogen! Making me all emotional right now. lol

 

I am crying right now, it does feel like saying good bye to a really long time family member, like a brother. Once I'm officially Holly Elizabeth, Michael Andrew will just have disappeared from my life. Damn it! I can't stop crying. If I'm crying now, how am I going to be when I actually go to file and then go to court. Damn it! I wish this estrogen wasn't making me so emotional.

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2 hours ago, HollyNoel said:

Once I do this it will be like the death of the old me.

Guess that's why they call it your "Dead Name".      

 

 I'm starting to look into doing this now myself.  It looks like it might actually be easier than I thought - still a hassle tho.   If I get this done, I could move on to gender marker on ID.   I had thought it was necessary to have my birth certificate (in another state) changed, but apparently the law has changed from what i had seen in the past.

Still not positive about the name tho.  What I'm using now has a bit of history that I'm not sure I want to keep.

 

Good luck with your change.

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@JandiI know, that still doesn't make it any easier to basically kill off the old me especially when I've been that me for half a century. Yes I'm 51 and a little under 2 months until 52. November 21st. Though I'm toying with changing my birthday to September 21st 2020 when I took my first dose of female hormone. Though I might keep it Nov 21st just to honor the day I came into the world. But yes, for me changing my name is going to be tough. So very tough. I tend to like to hold onto older stuff even though it might be useless.

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QuestioningAmber

Holly,

 

I am sure it is perfectly normal to feel emotional over changing your name. I haven't done it yet, but I have seen and heard that there is almost a grieving process for yourself, because it is what you have been called all your life. It is a part of your identity that you are shedding, and I am sure it is also surreal to know this is happening and there is further progress.

 

The farthest I have gotten in the name process is having a chosen name at a new doctor that I am seeing. They have my legal name, but they are calling me using my chosen name of Amber. I am still kind of getting used to being called that.

 

Try and allow yourself to grieve, but remember all you are doing is confirming who you are.

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ElizabethStar

Congratulations Holly. That's an amazing step to take.

 

I'm still waiting to do mine. We're looking to buy a house and I don't want to cause any issues or confusion. At this point I'm not even sure if we're staying in the same state.

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Thank you @QuestioningAmber, It is so very hard to realize that that part of your life is over. It's so very sad to say goodbye to that person. A friend of mine though it was like breaking up with a long time boyfriend. Someone that meant the world to you. All I know is that I'm crying tears of sadness at the thought of not being and yet crying tears of joy at being who I'm about to become. All I know is that a week ago I wouldn't be crying but now I'm on my 3rd day of estrogen all I am is a river of tears.. I cried at a dog food commercial today. WTH! A freaken dog food commercial. It was the one with the boy and his dog Duck, and the beach part. OMG just thinking about that is making me cry. lol

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@ElizabethStar Thanks. I just want to get it all over. My endocrinologist seemed to bring it up more than once in my last visit, and my other doctors are already calling my Holly. I just figure that It's time. Plus I want to change the gender marker on my birth certificate and my drivers license and social security card. I just want to get it all done, I don't want there to be any doubts for anyone, especially my brother who still thinks I'm just confused right now. NO DOUBTS FROM ANYONE! I am woman, I am not a man!

 

I can understand why you haven't done it yet and I agree with your reason. Changing to your true gender right before buying a house might cause confusion. I hope you get to do it soon though, I know it has to be tough for you. Just know that I am here to talk to if you need me. Us girls have to stick together.. ;)

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2 hours ago, HollyNoel said:

I'm toying with changing my birthday to September 21st 2020 when I took my first dose of female hormone

I kinda felt like that when they finally gave me my estradiol.  Oddly enough it was within a couple of days of my actual birthday.

 

1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

I'm still waiting to do mine. We're looking to buy a house and I don't want to cause any issues or confusion

This too.   I want to avoid any unnecessary complications.

 

I never have cared for my given name and mostly went by my nickname.  "Jandi" does have a bit of history to it involving my ex.  I'd kinda like to drop that stuff too, but it seems weird to keep changing it, although I am changing more and more.  I don't want to bungle this - want to feel like I'm doing the right thing.

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@Jandi My actual birthday is in November, more than a few days. I was tempted to not start my Estradiol until then but I tried to get started on HRT as soon as I could, I really didn't want to hold off and give my doctors any doubt as to if I was serious or not. But it would have been so awesome to start estrogen on my actual birthday. lol

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@HollyNoel I can feel you! A few days ago I legally changed my name and gender - in Germany it is quite a process, involving assessments by two different therapists and in the end a judge decides upon you. Through this process I had a lot of fears, but every involved person was just very nice to me, so it's all good!

 

It never felt like I was closing a chapter of my life or like it is the death of my old self. I had much good in my life before realising I'm trans. I'm grateful for many things in my first 40 years that formed me as a person. Knowing, that I am a woman, ever was, doesn't change that I had a good life before transitioning. It just changed my perspective.

 

Oh, and estrogen makes me emotional, too. :)

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Jeanette West

And here I was, looking for a place to ask: when do other girls change their names? I've been on HRT for two years, coming up in four months my FFS, so I was thinking I would file the paperwork with the courts next week. For myself I am sick of hearing my old name and really want to change to my new name.

 

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@Jeanette West If you feel it's time, then go for it. Only you can decide the point when you want to take the name change step. After bawling my eyes out the other night while filling out my paperwork, I'm not really sure I'm ready to change my name legally. I might need more time to come to terms with shedding my old name. I got to talk to my therapist before I make that move. Anyway, whenever you do it, make sure you are ready.

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One surprising outcome of the name change is that you discover just how MANY places you have to amend after the fact. Some are easier that others and completely uneventful, some will test your resolve 😀 and yet others might end up with a feeling of euphoria.

I was updating my BestBuy account (which is still unclear why they need me to call their main line from the store, but that a mystery for another day), and at the end of the conversation the customer service rep asked me whether I would like to be called sir or ma'am due to name change. No hesitation in my voice I informed her that ma'am would do wonderfully. And that made my day 🤩 Still smiling thinking about it.

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Heather Nicole
On 9/23/2020 at 7:28 PM, HollyNoel said:

All I know is that I'm crying tears of sadness at the thought of not being and yet crying tears of joy at being who I'm about to become. All I know is that a week ago I wouldn't be crying but now I'm on my 3rd day of estrogen all I am is a river of tears.. I cried at a dog food commercial today. WTH! A freaken dog food commercial. It was the one with the boy and his dog Duck, and the beach part. OMG just thinking about that is making me cry. lol

 

Wow, I guess estrogen can be powerful stuff!

 

I haven't done any HRT, and I have enough testosterone to know firsthand the odd sensation of crying a river on the inside, but having testosterone completely block all actual crying....And yet, even at that, I still can't stop actually tearing up like crazy every time I see the first "Let it go" in Frozen! I can't imagine how I would fare on estrogen!

 

 

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@Heathick To be fair I had a high estrogen level before I started HRT. So I was almost in tears already, the HRT kinda pushed me over the edge.

 

I was watching the movie Paper Man, had Ryan Reynolds, Jeff Daniels, and Emma Stone in it, and I got to this one part which wasn't really sad, but I cried my eyes out. It's like, OMG Will You Just STOP It!!!  lol. I have depression already, so I cry anyway, but come on. Can't I just watch TV without having a box of tissues sitting within reach. lol

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MomTGDaughter

This is on my agenda for 2021 for my daughter, I want to wait for COVID-19 to fade away, however regardless she will be attending high school in a coupe of year and want her to have a full female identity by then. She is let me choose her new name and perhaps that is load off for her, she goes by this name now and when I started calling her by this name, her old name went south. Right now it's just making it a formality. 

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@MomTGDaughterThat's really beautiful that shes letting you name her being that shes the girl shes always meant to be. It's the reason why I wanted to go by Holly Noel, going to drop Noel for Elizabeth. Never really felt Noel was quite right. Elizabeth is a much prettier name. If only the damned doctor wasn't so set on me being a boy. All of this could have been avoided. MEN! LOL.

 

I found out that the fee to change your name here in Illinois is set way to high at $327, I just found out tonight you can petition the court for a fee waver if you are on state assistance or at what is considered "low income". I am on SSD because of medical issues, so I should be eligible for this fee waver. I'm going to contact the courthouse and see about applying, I may also be able to skip the newspaper part because of the cost. Hopefully real soon I will officially and legally be Holly Elizabeth instead of Michael Andrew (sorry Mom).

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MomTGDaughter

I already named her a short time she transitioned earlier this year. It's just a matter of making it official. I know many slightly their boy name to sound more female, however her's is completely changed to a very feminine name. I felt it's important to have it be very feminine to help her transition with confidence and very much have a full identity of a girl. 

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I did the same thing. My boy name is Michael Andrew but I wanted a more feminine name so I went with what my mom would have named me. So It's Holly and my middle name comes from ElizabethStar. I chose Holly Elizabeth, I think It sounds so pretty.

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Holly that is a beautiful name. I like a name that flows Kymbrill Loraine, That is how we named our boys. 

 

If I had came out correctly, I would have been Patricia. From what my mom has said. don't think she said a middle name. Kymmie was my own choosing first then the middle name, Loraine. I came up with Kymmbrill for a proper name as kymmie is more of a shortened name.

 

Kymmie

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Thank you @KymmieL . Holly Elizabeth does flow. And so does Kymbrill Loraine. I love that it sounds almost like one word. That's how you know that a name goes together.

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ElizabethStar

I almost went with the name Sheila, it was pretty high on my list. I chose Star for my middle name so I could have something that sounded fun and spunky. But I like the way it sounds, Elizabeth-Star and If I want I can just go by Star since it will be a legal part of my name. When I updated my Facebook it says Star is not real name and I will have to furnish legal proof in order to use it although other people have used it. I can't say if they had problems or not but it's silly that a computer is telling me what I can use for a name.

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1 hour ago, ElizabethStar said:

it's silly that a computer is telling me what I can use for a name.

Sheesh

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Jeanette West
On 9/26/2020 at 5:23 PM, Heathick said:

 

Wow, I guess estrogen can be powerful stuff!

 

I haven't done any HRT, and I have enough testosterone to know firsthand the odd sensation of crying a river on the inside, but having testosterone completely block all actual crying....And yet, even at that, I still can't stop actually tearing up like crazy every time I see the first "Let it go" in Frozen! I can't imagine how I would fare on estrogen!

 

 

You have no idea! :) I have to be careful at work if I start thinking maudlin thoughts I suddenly get something in my eye.

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