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Hello. New here and looking for suport and advice


Victoria94

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Victoria94

Hello. I have been strugling with my gender for about 15 years now. Hav not told anyone yet except my mother. But I think she just ignored me when I said so since she was picking me up at a birthday party where I had been drinking and probably just tougth I had too much.

 

As of name I haven't really found what have the rigth sound to it. But a male bi friend of mine that like to make his straigth friends uncomfortable just for friendly fun once called me victoria. It does feel a bit good so just sticking with it for the time being

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  • Forum Moderator

Hello Victoria and welcome to Transpulse!

 

Names can be challenging. However, there's no rule that you have to use the same name throughout your transition. For example, when I was coming out my therapist asked what she should call me. I was completely flat footed. I hadn't even considered changing my name at that point as more than a hypothetical. I blurted out Jackie... because I named myself after "Jack" from Mass Effect, but I wanted it to be a little softer.

While I didn't keep Jackie in the end, she became my middle name. Jackie got me through some rough spots so I keep her close.

 

Looking forward to getting to know you better! In the meantime, look around and jump in when the mood strikes you.

 

Hugs!

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Victoria94

Thank you. I just have to comment its nice to find another mass effect fan. And also Jack fan😅

No my friend think I am just a regular straigth man and I have been trying to act so and distance myself from the tougth of all this. But when he teased me for driving the company truck that was called victoria it just stuck a bit in my head.

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  • Forum Moderator

Victoria is a fine name, don't get me wrong. You just owe it to yourself to find that name that's a perfect fit.

 

Then again, changing your name is a huge legal thing over here. For all I know in Nordland they have legal name changes in vending machines. 😜

 

Loved the Mass Effect series. Played it to death. It's weird, after coming out and living authentically, I play less video games. I mean not none, that would be silly, but it's almost like I don't need to go hide in an escapist fantasy nearly as much. So perks! I get to experience the real world now and then.

 

Hugs!

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Victoria94

Well changing names is easy here in norway at least inside your gender if not the names are family protected and need family ties or marriage to get it. But here we are gender idented on or social number, which is a bit harder to change here. So males number ends with 1,3,5, 7 and 9. Female have 2,4 and so. So I heard at least. There was some talk to remove that to make it easier for us to not get much akward trouble when social number was checked. But I dont know if it have happend yet.

 

Until now games have been the escape from reality. Specially those who let you chose gender. So I know how it is to get lost in it.😅

Other than that I tend to work as much as possible to avoid thinking of my situation.

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  • Admin
Carolyn Marie

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Victoria.  It doesn't sound like you're sure what path to follow yet, which is normal and fine.  If there are LGBT centers or gender therapists in your part of Norway and you can access them, that would be a great thing if you could get some counseling to help you find your way.  In the meantime, please look around the forums and read and learn.  We would love to hear what you have to say, too.  BTW your English is very good.

 

My wife and I were going to visit Norway and other Scandinavian countries last spring but the coronavirus ended our plans for now.  I know its a beautiful place.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

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Victoria94

Thanks Carolyn, I sometimes feel I mess up some english words. But I have always liked comunicating with people. I have a big interest in cultures.

 

As of where I come from. It is a small town and people like to talk about everything thats not considered normal A4 life.

But other than feeling it's difficult taking the leap I have wanted a long time. Living in the northern parts of Norway is amazing. The fjords and mountains. And espescally the northern ligths are beutifull here.

You and your wife would love it when you can finaly travel. I recomend visiting lofoten. And try to get a glimpse of the nigth sky when outside the big towns.

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  • Forum Moderator

Greetings Victoria.  That is a nice name but you can take your time to determine the direction to go.  It sounds like you are still in the early phase of true discovery.  That's an interesting notation "A4 life."  I had to look it up.  

 

Taking the leap is difficult for many of us.  Do we stay as we are despite the discomfort but safe in knowing how life around us will be, or do we take the leap and move on to a life more like we envision when we think of a better place?  The reality is you don't have to give up much.  Yes some friends and family may be at odds with your change but it is your life to live.  I have met some of the most interesting and caring people since transitioning.  As the saying goes, one door closes and another one opens.  

 

I would also love to travel to your region.  I have family in Denmark.  I know it is beautiful, if not a little cold! 

 

Please join in the conversation.

Cheers, Jani 

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Victoria94

Yes despite of feeling like my hometown feeling a bit narrow when it comes to changes, I am still proud of my home place❤

We just had the first freeze on the road so we are near the challenge of being a driver here Jani

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  • Forum Moderator
Timber Wolf

Hi Victoria,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf 🐾

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