Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Post-male-puberty "Broad Shoulders" Vs. Strappy tops


Heather Nicole

Recommended Posts

I had a little bit of a theoretical panic just thinking today. I know that one of my favorite things about women's clothing is the possibility of strappy, shoulderless tops. I hate collars and sleeves, even short sleeves, and (in private) absolutely love the freedom of low-cut, shoulder-less spaghetti-strap tops. (Such as my favorite nightie!)

 

But I'm close to 40, I went through full male puberty, and I'm a bit on the large side even by "guy" standards. Obviously, FFS and SRS (and presumably HRT) aren't going to have any effect on masculine "broad shoulders".

 

So, are tops like this something that are just a fashion no-no for people like us, or is there any hope?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

It's a bit tricky for me to answer you directly on this but my take was to look around at cis women, their shapes and what they wear. I was thinking that I do tend to wear slightly wider tops as they look better and, having a very quick search, found this page which seems to support my view: http://bodyshapestyle.com/2011/04/28/what-to-wear-tops-for-broad-shoulders/

 

A lot may also depend on what women wear in the places you go to as well as it is obviously easier to fit in.

 

Tracy

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

I don't know, I look pretty hot in a tank top and I have wide shoulders. I think a lot of it comes down to color choice to de-emphasize features you don't like and highlight the ones you do. There's some skill involved and body contouring with makeup is a thing (not a thing I can do, but I've seen some awesome examples). I think you'll be fine. At the end of the day, I wear what makes me feel good. Sometimes that's something with straps.

 

Hugs! 

Link to comment

I always worry about my shoulders too, but several of my favorite dresses are sleeveless and being perfectly honest, I think my shoulders look narrower.  It could be wishful thinking I suppose, but I'm more inclined to believe that sleeveless really does have a narrowing effect.  I mean think about it, there's no fabric there to add to the shoulder width.  I think to get the most flattering effect probably depends on the way the top is cut around the shoulders, so I say experiment with different tops. 

Link to comment

Good topic @Heathick!
I was fortunate (at least now I think so now) that I have rather narrow and not very muscular shoulders.  I really love how sleeveless blouses and dresses look on me.  And I have to agree with @Sally Stone that I think wider sleeveless tops actually can narrow the appearance of your shoulders. 

Spaghetti straps are another story, and I have a terrible time keeping blouse (even bra) straps from falling off my narrow shoulders.  So, in that case a broader shoulders might be a bit of a benefit.

@tracy_j's link is a great source.

Maybe the best part is the Fun of trying on different styles and seeing how they look.  Then you'll really know.

 

Link to comment
2 hours ago, KayC said:



Spaghetti straps are another story, and I have a terrible time keeping blouse (even bra) straps from falling off my narrow shoulders.  So, in that case a broader shoulders might be a bit of a benefit.


 

I have broad shoulders and still can't keep straps from falling off. lol

Link to comment
13 hours ago, Bri2020 said:

Spaghetti straps are another story, and I have a terrible time keeping blouse (even bra) straps from falling off my narrow shoulders.  So, in that case a broader shoulders might be a bit of a benefit.

The straps on any cami large enough to fit around my ancient manly-man beer gut are too far apart to stay on my shoulders. Wish they made sweet feminine clothes for old fat guys....

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Lee H said:

The straps on any cami large enough to fit around my ancient manly-man beer gut are too far apart to stay on my shoulders. Wish they made sweet feminine clothes for old fat guys....

 

Omg, yes, the enormous circumference of my chest/ribcage (fifty-something, not counting cup size) and "beer gut" are easily the biggest problems I face finding anything whatsoever to fit the upper portion of my body. (Heck, at my size, it's even a stretch to file male clothes that fit well...not that I've ever cared much for them...)

 

I do have one or two nighties (which I LOVE) that fit in that regard...despite being much shorter on me than they're intended to be. But, to find a bra, or even a sports bra, or any nice top...ugh!! I feel your pain!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Wow, fifty? I have trouble finding one with a 46" band that doesn't assume I have gigantic breasts. Currently wearing a sports bra that's mostly just elastic and spandex for an A/B cup. I'm headed to the gym and realized that this tank fits loosely enough that if I don't wear a bra, there's a good chance that I'm flashing everyone.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment

Yup, fifty-something! The nightie i mentioned is..I think a 4XL..? Maybe 5? The male puberty fairy hit me pretty hard! (Didn't bother me at the time, I saw it as "rite of passage" and much-desired "growing up", but now I envy the transwomen who started early and avoided it.)

 

I think that size will go down a little bit when I lose the weight I need to, but even before I ever started considering transitioning, I'd already been thinking "Yea, I really should get a good sewing machine and learn how to make alterations and make my own clothes." At least I'm not totally a novice at it, I have sewn before, just not often enough to remember how to do it...and I never could keep a straight line!

 

I heard about a documentary series called "My Giant Life" about a few very large-frame women, probably even bigger than me from the sound of it. I should watch it, hopefully they'll talk about how they deal with clothing.

Link to comment

I've found a fairly good selection of 44A bras on ebay, and I use bra strap extenders to reach 46. They fit ok, depending on where in Peking the sweat shop was which made them. At least they're cheap, especially compared to the fashion engineering masterpieces from places like Vickie's Secret.

 

I don't know about 50" sources there, but just a cursory search came up with "Silk Ladies Bras 36-50 AA A B C D Lace Sexy Bra Lingerie Underwear Brassiere BH." 8 bucks, but delivery sometime in Nov. via "Express China Shipping" -- a masterpiece of oxymoronic description. 3 hook, black or pink. Sheer, lacy, pretty.

 

Should we start the Fattytrans Wishful Weightloss League?

 

~~Here's a big hug for a big girl, from another one, Lee~~

Link to comment

@Lee H : Thanks so much for the tip! I looked those up, and OMG, its so pretty I immediately ordered one. And then a couple others I found through the suggested links there ;) I have a bad habit of always equating online shopping with Amazon these days, so I never thought to check eBay or anywhere else. And this is the first I've ever heard of bra strap expenders! That's a complete game changer! I'm totally ordering some tonight.

 

22 hours ago, Lee H said:

Should we start the Fattytrans Wishful Weightloss League?

 

~~Here's a big hug for a big girl, from another one, Lee~~

 

Hah ha, yes I think we need that league! And a big hug right back to the big sweetie!

 

@KayC: Wow! All the way up to 58A? Oh geez,  I think I'm going to wind up going from a sparse bra drawer to overflowing in no time, flat! Sorry, checking account!

Link to comment

Eeeeee!!!! Ok, I just got paid today and I totally splurged, but I'm sooo SUPER excited about it!!!!!!

 

I took all my own measurements (best as I could), and I ordered the bra @KayC linked to (like you, the pink one - it's sooo pretty!!!!), and a rush-order on a custom-tailored dress - I've been wanting to get to wear a dress SOOO BADLY for soo long lately! This will be my first dress ever!! OMG, I'm so excited I cant wait to get to wear a dress!!! My own dress!! Of course, it's a light pink dress, naturally ;). My favorite colors for the past 20 years have been pink, purple and indigo. Ha ha, generic girly-girl I guess, but I have sooo much catching up to do! I was never a little girl!

 

Hee hee, I'm feeling so totally girly right now and I absolutely LOVE it!!!

 

Oh, and as an experiment, I also just shaved off my Will Riker beard for the first time in...probably over five years? Since I started growing my hair out...a couple years ago?...I realized I've never seen what I look like with both long hair and no facial hair. The results are...umm...weird, a bit... Mainly because I've spent nearly all of my adult life with facial hair (avoiding the "baby-faced-boy" look I was never a fan of on me), but also "weird" because of now seeing all the facial fat deposits that my beard had been hiding. Well, all the more reason for more much-needed weight loss!

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 99 Guests (See full list)

    • Pip
    • Karen Carey
    • April Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      768k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,015
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Bowie Ellis
      Bowie Ellis
      (19 years old)
    2. Damien Mcknight
      Damien Mcknight
      (18 years old)
    3. JJ
      JJ
      (77 years old)
    4. KathyLauren
      KathyLauren
      (70 years old)
    5. memyselfandwe
      memyselfandwe
      (44 years old)
  • Posts

    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Loving this woman I am becoming.
    • April Marie
      Good morning, everyone!! I was up early again - already on my third cup of coffee having walked/fed the dog and read the local paper.   We have a birthday party for a friend to go to this afternoon but no real plans otherwise.   I hope to be able to attend tonight's TGP Zoom session. It's been weeks since I've been able to participate with the illness/loss of our dog, two horrible colds in succession and our trip to chase the solar eclipse.   Have a wonderful day and look for the goodness in it.
    • April Marie
      I think we tend to be overly critical of our looks, whether we're trying to express ourselves as masculine, feminine or anywhere along the gender spectrum. For me, I use photos as a way to track my progress, to help me find my style and look and to help me find ways to improve myself in posture, looks, make-up, style......   I didn't really think about our FB avatar being public but then realized that when people search they do see it.   Since I'm not out to anyone but my wife, therapist, priest and people here, my FB page remains "that guy." I have created a Bitmoji that is relatively androgynous moving slowly towards the feminine. Long gray hair, earrings, softer features...I'm transitioning it along with myself. :-)
    • April Marie
      I so very much enjoy your posts. This one, though, hit home with me for many reasons. I was commissioned in the Army in '77, as well. Like you, I was not overly masculine in the way that many of our contemporaries were. I (still do) cried at weddings, pictures of puppies and babies, when I talked about bring proud of what my units accomplished and was never the Type A leader. In the end, it worked for me and I had a successful career.   This is, of course, your story not mine so I won't detail my struggle. It just took me much longer to understand what the underlying cause of my feelings was and even more to admit it. To act on it.    Thank you for sharing your story, Sally.
    • Sally Stone
      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving.  It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party.  I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl.  After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity.  Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic.  Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume.  But that didn’t appeal to me at all.  I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could.   To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party.  In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes.  Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did.  But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called.  Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices.  Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it.   And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring.  I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia.  I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group).  I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta.  I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined.   Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down.  The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star.  The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time.  It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom.   I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta).  Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several.  One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening.  When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers.  I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend.   During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding.  Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile.  It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there.  First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen.  On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar.  In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception.  Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel.  Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times).    My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition.  I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out.  I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety.  It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another.  I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression.  My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings.    Hugs, Sally
    • Sally Stone
      Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening.  Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side.  And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://apnews.com/article/title-ix-sexual-assault-transgender-sports-d0fc0ab7515de02b8e4403d0481dc1e7   The revised regulations don't touch on trans athletes; which I totally understand, as that's become a third rail issue and this is an election year.  But the other changes seem pretty sensible, and will obviously result in immediate right wing lawsuits.   Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
    • Carolyn Marie
      Very well said, @Abigail Genevieve, and very true.  Thank you.   Carolyn Marie
    • Susan R
      Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!!   Trans Group Zoom Meeting Times: April 20, 2024 6:00 PM Pacific Time April 20, 2024 8:00 PM Central Time April 21, 2024 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Message me for the meeting link if you’d like to attend.   *Hugs* Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      They may win a few battles but not the war! as @Davie pointed out there is little truth if it full of lies, inconsistencies, and ignores evidence to the contrary. I saw this article earlier and have to agree here. Truth will win. This isn’t the first time this tactic has been tried. Always stick with the truth!
    • Susan R
      Welcome @violet r! Glad you joined our forum and got through the hardest part…that first post. As many have mentioned, we are more than accepting here as we affirm your gender identity and hold no judgement, whatsoever. There’s so much here on this forum, I think you’ll find very helpful. If you have trouble finding an answer just reach out, try the search but starting a new thread is usually best to get some quick answers. Many are here for various transgender related issues but many, if not all, are here to help one another if we can. It’s great to have you onboard.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...