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I posted originally in general forum without many sharing so I thought I'd put it here as our group seems more willing to share -


Monday Mantra 254 – Fall in love with taking care of yourself… | Lawhimsy

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such true words, wonderful Heather :)


Thanks for your uplifting messages 





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My big brother passed yesterday - I was able to say goodbye - now I will smile with the memories he brings


60 Sympathy & Condolence Quotes For Loss

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I'm sorry to hear of your brother's passing Heather this past weekend. I know you will cherish the memories. With each person's passing a reminder of the impermanence of life, and that everyday we have is a gift. 





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YOu are an oracle and a woman of wisdom.....

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Heather I can't say anything beyond Cyndi's wise counsel. You will live with your good memories of your brother. 

Hugs, Jani

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my second thought for today

Hold your head up - Macklemore ft Xperience (Lyrics on screen) - YouTube

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I just talked to a friend who considered suicide - glad he didn't......

It's not going to rain forever... #NeverGiveUp! | Storms dont last forever,  Daring quotes, Success inspiration motivation

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    • Jandi
      Well I have plenty of sensation.  It's just a little less localized.
    • Jackie C.
      I'd suggest giving the HRT a bit to work on first and stay healthy. That's a problem I'm having with one of my trans friends here, she doesn't want to work on her body and maintain her health, which I GET because I was the same way when I was feeling more dysphoric. Now that my body is a closer approximation to what I wanted it to look like after puberty v1.0. I find that I want to take better care of it.   You and I are about the same age, but I have no earthly idea how hard your first puberty hit you. A year in, people could recognize me as female when I was still presenting masculine. Or as masculine as I got anyway. However, I have a fairly effeminate frame to begin with. After two years of HRT, I don't get clocked as a "guy" even at the gym where I'm just in a tank, leggings and a headscarf (because alopecia). My therapist has said that I have had a very successful transition. I realize that not everyone is fortunate enough to have a stereotypically "girly" foundation to build on.   So my pic is me about six months ago. I think that was May, I could be off a little. It's not quite two years of HRT at that point. HRT can take as many as ten years to reach full effect. I currently have a waist thanks to exercise. My larger back makes it look smaller and I've uncovered a pair of slight hips under there. You need to realize I was REALLY out of shape. I was flirting with 300 pounds. I'm 190 today. Like I said. I GET not wanting to take care of a body you don't want.   I'd recommend not doing anything surgical until you have a better idea of what the HRT is going to do to you. At the same time, it's not magic. Encouraging it to do what you want with diet and exercise is a very solid choice. If you really want to get outside help, laser liposuction, which isn't really lipo SUCTION in that there's no actual sucking, is a good option because it works, it's non-invasive, and it's very relaxing. I'd pay the $50 a session just to nap in that lovely, lovely pod for a half-hour.   Basically the way it works is this: They strap cool lasers to your body in your problem areas. The cool lasers won't fry you to a crisp. My skin color can best be described as "porcelain" I burn if I'm too close to a crayon drawing of the sun. Tanning is a thing other people do. I tolerate cool lasers just fine. Then they put you in a pod. The pod covers you to your neck, is contoured for your body and heated. For a half-hour at a time, it plays soothing music at you and warms you up while the lasers essentially burst fat cells. Then you stand on a machine that shakes your vigorously so that the fat from the punctured cells is swept up by your body and deposited in the colon. There's supposed to be twelve sessions to a course but I only did four. I was only kickstarting the process, I was increasing my activity level and eating better at the same time.   If you're only looking to lose 30 pounds, I'd recommend a laser course, some lifestyle changes and take up yoga. With the HRT, yoga will give you those long, lean muscles that look so very good on women.   Hugs!  
    • JustineM
      Well... I talked to my councilor today and told her about what my SiL said.  She said that if I felt the need to see a second therapist she would support me in that.  Although neither one of us really see what that would accomplish.  It was kind of funny though, she decided to see what the DSM 5 said about GID.  Read it off to me and while I only need 2 of the 6 criteria to be "officially" diagnosed I actually meet all 6 criteria.  I did have the thought though that if I decided to see a 2nd councilor it might actually be kinda helpful in that if I decide down the road that I want to pursue the surgeries it would help pave the way for the 2 letters I would need.     I guess food for thought.    
    • Kellianne
      Thank you, great to know  So would you suggest if I go for lipo, not worrying about weight loss until after? I would love to say exercise and HRT but I have to be honest, I am way too impatient for that 😅.  
    • Kellianne
    • Kellianne
      Well we shall see. I am just trying to ask as many questions and learn as much as I can to make the most informed decision. I was more interested in finding out sensation change on HRT.  
    • Audrey
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    • Shay
      @DeeDee wonderful news keep going girl
    • Shay
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    • DeeDee
      Flying up on cloud number nine!   
    • Teri Anne
      My first wig was a Raquel Welch synthetic wig and I have had it 12 years and it has held up very well but I do take proper care of it. It wasn't cheap and I bought it from a well established wig shop that has been in business since the early 60s. I have several human hair wigs and they were not super expensive and I actually got two for one at that shop.They are going on 8 years old now and look fantastic. If you have no experience with wigs don't assume anything and get experience using the one you have before saying one is better than the other (human /synthetic) because they both have their advantages. Watch some you tube videos on how to care for wigs that way you can reference them when you need help. When you are done wearing it and before you put it back on the stand comb all the tangles out starting at the ends working up to the part.Don't just wad it up and throw it back in the box. One thing to remember take good care of your wig and it will last a long time.
    • VickySGV
      Synthetic wigs of good quality can actually last quite a long time.  While you want to use care, they are not that fragile.  I have some that are several years old, although I do not wear mine daily since I do have hair, albeit very fine.  Synthetic wigs have a locked in style and combing / brushing while COMPLETELY DRY will get them styled fairly easily.  Woolite is OK, but regular human hair shampoo works fine.  Dry the wig by putting a PLASTIC coat hanger gently through the wefting strands and hanging it on your shower curtain rod until it is completely dry at a temperature that you can live in (not too warm, like over a heater) and not a super dry place.  When it is dry, hold it from the neck edge of the wig, and brush it from the ends of the fiber up to the wig cap.  When you reach the wig cap / wefting, take it by the forehead of the wig and shake it out and brush it from the ends to cap again, put it on a foam wig head, and then gently brush it back into style.  You do not have to use a wig spray unless it is really wild, but even there, better is using a Static Guard spray on your brush like you do on your clothing (Synthetic wig fiber is the same stuff they make good clothing from).  Store the wig on a Styrofoam head with a dry paper bag over it to keep it from getting dusty.  A little brush touch-up when you put it on will finish the job.    Do not worry about the wig fibers working loose, since most have about 40% too much fiber in them and will look good with less, professional wig stylists will often thin them out to improve the look of it.  Do take the wig to a stylist if you do not buy it in a store and have them cut it to your face to look its best on YOU.  They can also give you other tips on care and feeding of your new pet --- errrrr---hair do.    It will take a bit of getting used to the length when sitting down.  Before getting too comfortable against the back of the chair, roll your shoulders forward, tip your head forward to check your dress hem, and in that position sink back into the back of the chair.  (My hair is shoulder blade length, and I have to do it too.) If you do not do that you can have wigs coming off.   Cheap human hair wigs are cheap, although you can do styling on them for practice.  Good human hair wigs are pricey in the almost $1K or more range, and if you can afford one of them, you can also afford to take them to a professional stylist to care for them.  Wig stylists are some of the most accepting people I have ever met.  There are salons that are for Medical Use wigs that have strict private appointments available, and the ones I know agree that we have a medical need for our wigs, just as much as a cancer victim or Alopecia patient.   A few years ago, I posted a series of pictures on wig placement for best presentation in here:   https://www.transgenderpulse.com/forums/gallery/album/1573-wigging-out/   The proposed hair looks great, enjoy it.
    • Confused1
      Hi Sarah,   I CAN ASSURE YOU that you are not alone! I am twice your age and felt the same thing all my life. It made me feel all alone also. I've always wished I had a switch where I could switch back and forth at will. I have at least come to the conclusion I am gender fluid. That came after many conversations on forums. I think you will find many here you can relate with.   Hugs, Mike
    • Jackie C.
      Point. We're all a little different. For example, I didn't experience ED while on T-blockers (I had about the same T-levels as I do now for a year prior to GCS). I enjoyed not having random erections, but I had no trouble during intimate encounters with my spouse. Others have reported some pretty severe ED.   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      Egad, by the dripping fangs of the Spider Goddess I'm sorry you have to deal with that. So yeah, your folks are transphobic. That's pretty classic transphobic behavior right there. Sometimes people can get past it when a family member comes out as trans but their behavior is telling. They won't use the correct pronouns or preferred name for your sib. They talk about NB people like they're just "confused" instead of a legitimate group.   Unfortunately, there's not much you can do for another three years (at least). You could come out to them, but there's no guarantee they'd behave any better with you than they do with your sib. The unfortunate truth is that sometimes, your parents won't understand and nothing can make them understand. Then your choice becomes trying to love them anyway or cutting them out of your life.   Hugs!
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