I came out to my Wife 10/22/20

[Jayna]

I came out to her.
It happened, it’s not perfect. I have to give her time and patience to, I’m so afraid at this minute. These forums have been a treasure grove of good advice, thank you! This could turn out so bad, I hope doesn’t burn down everything we built together.

I have my daughter to lean on, she knew about me for awhile. 
Much Love

Jayna

 

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, Jayna said:

I came out to her.
It happened, it’s not perfect. I have to give her time and patience to, I’m so afraid at this minute.

Much respect to you for overcoming any fear and apprehension and taking this big step forward for yourself and your future. You are doing the right thing with your wife by taking it slow. It will help her adjust to her new paradigm. She may be unsure what this all means for you both. Try to reassure her that your love for her will not change. It is the constant in all of this.

 

Thank you for sharing with us tonight. I know how hard this can be. I hope you will have a good outcome. Please keep us updated if you can.

 

My Best,

Susan R?

[Emily michelle]

I’m glad you came out to her. I know how hard it is. Hopefully things will go well with her. I never really came out to my wife I just broke down. My wife knew well before hand. Stay strong girl.

[Elizabeth Star]

Hi Jayna. It happened and in then end that's what matters.

 

From my experience there is never a perfect time or way. I understand giving her time but you might want think about what your pace is as well and talk with her about it. I tried to suppress my feelings as long as I could for the sake of others and it almost ended in a tragedy. If you haven't already and no one's mentioned it you may want to find yourself a therapist to talk with. I was never good at expressing my feelings. When Started coming out I was extremely depressed and almost certainly facing divorce to now my marriage is stronger than ever and I'm living full-time. All in less than a year.

[KayC]

6 hours ago, Jayna said:

I have to give her time and patience to, I’m so afraid at this minute.

Hi Jayna.  I know that feeling well.  I think it was about 6 months ago I came out to my wife (at least about gender dysphoria and wanting therapy, she already knew I was crossdressing).  Its been a roller coaster since, but I can say the hills and valleys are flattening out.  Not quite as "white knuckle" ride as before.

Therapy was/is a great help for me (not just for the gender part, but basic therapy for myself and well being).  Time and patience, and communication, are key.  Hope for the best, but expect there will be times it gets worse ... just know if you love each other, then there is a good chance you will find your way through.

 

..  Also, don't create a schedule or timeline until you and your wife can hopefully agree on one. @ElizabethStar's experience is a great example.

 

Wishing you both the best❣️

[Heather Shay]

@Jayna I am proud of you. This is such an incredibly hard thing to do and I want to hug you for your bravery. Take it slow be honest and open and the ladies here are so filled with wisdom I could not have come as far without them.

[Timber Wolf]

Hope all goes well, Jayna.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[SaraAW]

It was the hardest thing ive ever had to do myself. It takes an incredible amount of courage to do that. Well done. I hope the best for you in this. Hugs!

[Jayna]

• RunValRun
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• Jackie C.
• Thank you everyone, I’ve been transitioning for 1.3 years on HRT. My Daughter has known since last Father’s Day, who’d a thought?

[Jackie C.]

Thank you!

 

But how did it go? I know for me it was the longest hundred or so years of my life between "Honey, I'm trans" and "I think I'm OK with that."

 

Hugs!

[Jayna]

1 hour ago, Jackie C. said:

Thank you!

 

But how did it go? I know for me it was the longest hundred or so years of my life between "Honey, I'm trans" and "I think I'm OK with that."

 

Hugs!

Omg I’ve been @work since 6:30am I’ll be home in about an hour, she was seriously hostile until after midnight. Our oldest daughter came out as Lesbian in 2006 and my wife took it pretty rough, but the words she used against me shows she still has a lot of homophobia.. my heart is broken honestly, I’m a great (parent) and my younger daughter has my back. I hope m wife spent the day reflecting like I have, I’ll be patient.

[Jackie C.]

Well that's tragic. Still, fingers crossed. Maybe she'll have cooled down some.

 

Hugs! Also luck!

[Emily michelle]

I hope she relaxed a little bit and you can have a better conversation with her.

[Astrid]

@Jayna Support hugs!!  

 

As you may have read in more than a few posts on this site, seeing an experienced gender therapist (and, even better, having you BOTH attend) can be extremely helpful.  At some point as things (hopefully) cool down a little, perhaps that will be something that can be a step forward.  Your journey just expanded to include your spouse.

 

More support hugs,

 

Astrid