Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Hello everyone.


2beBreanna

Recommended Posts

Good morning all.  I am Breanna.  Or will be soon i hope.  I just rediscovered  my inner girl over the last 2 years.  I'm 41 y/o.  I am married for 17 years to a great women and have 2 children. 

 

Over the last 2 years my wife and I played with feminization.  I ran with it as much as I could.  I loved it from the start.   I have since been thinking non-stop about why it felt so right.  After lots of soul searching I brought up buried memories of wanting to be female when I was younger. 

I guess when I younger I told myself it can never happen and pushed those desires to the side.  I tried hard to be a man.  And failed on many fronts as I look at the last 2 decades. But I must have done good enough that even i forgot I am not meant to be a man.

 

Anyways....  I finally talked about this to my wife who went way over board saying we will be divorced and she is losing me.  After some talks and letting her know I won't make any moves until we discuss and she is OK with it.  She is still having a hard time but warming up and has told me I can explore it more with a counselor and doctor to see what steps I can start. 

 

So later today I get to call insurance  and come out to them and see what is covered.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Salutations Breanna and welcome to TransPulse!

 

Your story runs parallel to a lot of girls here. For example, I was terrible at being a man too. Also bad at being a boy. Dad tried to force me into Boy Scouts. It was not pretty.

 

I'm sorry your wife isn't taking the news well, but she's willing to let you seek therapy and see how it goes. There's a good chance she'll come around once she's had time to think. My wife doesn't consider herself a lesbian either, but she's adjusted her preferences to "Men plus me." I couldn't ask for anything better.

 

I'm looking forward to getting to know you, so feel free to jump in as the mood strikes you.

 

Hugs!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator
1 hour ago, 2beBreanna said:

Anyways....  I finally talked about this to my wife who went way over board saying we will be divorced and she is losing me.  After some talks and letting her know I won't make any moves until we discuss and she is OK with it.  She is still having a hard time but warming up and has told me I can explore it more with a counselor and doctor to see what steps I can start. 

Good morning @2beBreanna you're among like minded people here at TransPulseForums. My wife is not on board with my transition. She is battling with the loss of a Husband and 44 year Marriage, we're working through couples counseling. Give your wife time to adjust to the transitioning you.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

Link to comment
5 hours ago, 2beBreanna said:

Good morning all.  I am Breanna.  Or will be soon i hope.  I just rediscovered  my inner girl over the last 2 years.  I'm 41 y/o.  I am married for 17 years to a great women and have 2 children. 

 

Anyways....  I finally talked about this to my wife who went way over board saying we will be divorced and she is losing me.  After some talks and letting her know I won't make any moves until we discuss and she is OK with it.  She is still having a hard time but warming up and has told me I can explore it more with a counselor and doctor to see what steps I can start.

 

Hi Breanna,

 

As Jackie & Mindy have stated your wife's reaction is similar to many of us. My wife has no desire to be lesbian. I am not socially transitioning, but am having bottom surgery to fix a medical issue from a botched prostate surgery. My wife was actually OK with the surgery until she realized I was transgender. That started a roller coaster ride with my wife I didn't know if we could overcome at first. We've been married 40 years. It has got much better recently, but maybe not to "men plus me" yet. One can hope?

 

Just remember, this is new information to your wife and it will take some time to process. By letting her know she will be involved in each move you have already taken a step in the right direction. It is a transition for her just as much as it is for you. Keeping her involved can make all the difference and help keep your relationship alive.

 

Hugs,

Mike

Link to comment

Thank you for the welcome and reassurances.  I feel that my wife is slowly coming to as she she thinks back to my more male/not so friendly being compared to the feminine gentler being.  I try to get her to realize that if i am happy with who I am, I will be the gentle lovey dovey person she wants now more.   

 

For now my goal is to start HRT slowly and possibly an orchi since that is my biggest dysphoria spot.  I have been hoping for a few years to get rid of those things.  

 

I called insurance today and got what I feared would happen...Transgender care  is excluded from the policy.  I have a good insurance plan but I guess they decided the employees would not be open to others transitioning.  Working in a "mans" job sucks, but it pays the bills.  Now i need to research what steps i can take to get on HRT or even just T blockers.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Breanna!  I hope your journey with your wife goes smoothly.  As to insurance, I think that is a common response.  I'm retired but I don't believe my employer covered any TG services.  My current insurance doesn't provide coverage either.  After starting therapy, you may find HRT to be reasonable in cost.  

 

Please join in the conversation.

Jani

Link to comment
1 hour ago, Jani said:

After starting therapy, you may find HRT to be reasonable in cost.  

Thanks for the reassurance Jani. 

 

That is my hopes, I would hope the meds wont be much of an issue.  Its just hard hearing that when you finally open to the idea of pursuing this when there is a strong chance of it completely changing life.   I think I have other avenues to take to get the one surgery I want/need.  it will just take time and lots of appointments complaining about issues i have mostly ignored after being told its no big deal.

Link to comment

Welcome Breanna I also feared the insurance company. When I called them originally they said no transgender coverage. I went to my endocrinologist and met with her and they were able to push it through. I have been on hrt for 6 months and have had a mammogram and insurance has covered everything including the majority of my prescriptions. When or if you decide on hrt talk with your endocrinologist. Working in a male dominated field is hard. I’m not out to my union and employer yet. Eventually I will get there hiding is proving harder than coming out.

Link to comment
  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Breanna.  I hope that your wife comes around to supporting you.  It often takes a while, and a lot of conversation and facts, to reassure a spouse.  With my wife, once she went out with me and saw that people treated me as a woman and there was no drama, she started to warm up to Carolyn.

 

Before CA changed its insurance laws to ensure that transition related care was covered, I paid cash for HRT and office visits.  After the initial exams and blood work, HRT turned out to cost about $20/month.  Obviously surgery will cost much more, but its not an ongoing expense for many people, especially if limited to an orchi.  But I'm getting ahead of things.  Therapy and HRT come first.  I wish you all the best.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   7 Members, 0 Anonymous, 146 Guests (See full list)

    • SamC
    • April Marie
    • Maddee
    • Willow
    • Breezy Victor
    • MaryEllen
    • Abigail Genevieve
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      768.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,023
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Delaney
    Newest Member
    Delaney
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Dillon
      Dillon
    2. Kaylee888
      Kaylee888
    3. lily100
      lily100
      (39 years old)
    4. Luce
      Luce
      (44 years old)
    5. Luke.S
      Luke.S
  • Posts

    • violet r
      I use my  chosen name online and when ever I can. I play some online game and only go by that name. That is how everyone there know me. Yes it does feel great to be called the name you prefer. 
    • Breezy Victor
      I was ten years old when my mom walked in on me frolicking around my room dressed up in her bra, panties, and some pantyhose. I had been doing this in the privacy of my bedroom for a little while now so I had my own little stash box I kept full of different panties, bras, etc ... of hers. My mom's underwear was so easy for me to come by and she was a very attractive woman, classy, elegant. Well when she walked in on me, she looked at me with disgust and said to me... "If I wanted to run around like mommy's little girl instead of mommy's little boy, then she was going to treat me like mommy's little girl."  She left my bedroom after telling me NOT to change or get dressed or anything and returned with a few of her work skirts and blouses and such. She made me model off her outfits for her and I have to admit ... I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT. I felt so sexy, and feminine. And she knew I loved it.  She told me we can do this every weekend if I'd like. It would be OUR little secret. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      The usual social ways, of course.  Taking care of my partners and stepkids, being involved in my community.  That makes me feel good about my role.   As for physical validation and gender... probably the most euphoric experience is sex.  I grew up with my mother telling me that my flat and boyish body was strange, that my intersex anatomy was shameful, that no man would want me. So experiencing what I was told I could never have is physical proof that I'm actually worth something.  
    • KathyLauren
      <Moderator hat on>  I think that, at this point we need to get the thread back onto the topic, which is the judge's ruling on the ballot proposition.  If there is more to be said on the general principles of gendered spaces etc., please discuss them, carefully and respectfully, in separate threads. <Moderator hat off>
    • Abigail Genevieve
      People who have no understanding of transgender conditions should not be making policy for people dealing with it. Since it is such a small percentage of the population, and each individual is unique, and their circumstances are also unique, each situation needs to be worked with individually to see that the best possible solution is implemented for those involved. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      No.  You are getting stuck on one statement and pulling it out of context.   Trans kids have rights, but so do non-trans kids.  That conflict is best worked out in the individual situation. 
    • MaeBe
      I get the concept, I believe. You're trying to state that trans kids need to or should be excluded from binary gender spaces and that you acknowledge that answers to accommodate those kids may not be found through policy. I disagree with the capability of "penetration" as being the operative delimiter in the statement, however. I contest this statement is poorly chosen at best and smacks of prejudice at worst. That it perpetuates certain stereotypes, whether that was the intent or not.   Frankly, all kids should have the right to privacy in locker rooms, regardless of gender, sexuality, or anatomy. They should also have access to exercise and activities that other kids do and allow them to socialize in those activities. The more kids are othered, extracted, or barred from the typical school day the more isolated and stigmatized they become. That's not healthy for anyone, the excluded for obvious reasons and the included for others--namely they get to be the "haves" and all that entails.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Context.  Read the context.  Good grief.
    • MaeBe
      Please don't expect people to read manifold pages of fiction to understand a post.   There was a pointed statement made, and I responded to it. The statement used the term penetration, not "dissimilar anatomy causing social discomfiture", or some other reason. It was extended as a "rule" across very different social situations as well, locker and girl's bedrooms. How that term is used in most situations is to infer sexual contact, so most readers would read that and think the statement is that we "need to keep trans girl's penises out of cis girls", which reads very closely to the idea that trans people are often portrayed as sexual predators.   I understand we can't always get all of our thoughts onto the page, but this doesn't read like an under-cooked idea or a lingual short cut.
    • Ashley0616
      I shopped online in the beginning of transition. I had great success with SHEIN and Torrid!
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Have you read the rest of what I wrote?   Please read between the lines of what I said about high school.  Go over and read my Taylor story.  Put two and two together.   That is all I will say about that.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      "I feel like I lost my husband," Lois told the therapist,"I want the man I married." Dr. Smith looked at Odie, sitting there in his men's clothing, looking awkward and embarrassed. "You have him.  This is just a part of him you did not know about. Or did not face." She turned to Odie,"Did you tear my wedding dress on our wedding night?" He admitted it.  She had a whole catalog of did-you and how-could you.  Dr. Smith encouraged her to let it all out. Thirty years of marriage.  Strange makeup in the bathroom.  The kids finding women's laundry in the laundry room. There was reconciliation. "What do we do now?" Dr. Smith said they had to work that out.  Odie began wearing women's clothing when not at work.  They visited a cross-dressers' social club but it did not appeal to them.  The bed was off limits to cross dressing.  She had limits and he could respect her limits.  Visits to relatives would be with him in men's clothing.    "You have nail polish residue," a co-worker pointed out.  Sure enough, the bottom of his left pinky nail was bright pink  His boss asked him to go home and fix it.  He did.   People were talking, he was sure, because he doubted he was anywhere as thorough as he wanted to be.  It was like something in him wanted to tell everyone what he was doing, and he was sloppy.   His boss dropped off some needed paperwork on a Saturday unexpectedly and found Odie dressed in a house dress and wig.  "What?" the boss said, shook his head, and left.  None of his business.   "People are talking," Lois said. "They are asking about this," she pointed to his denim skirt. "This seems to go past or deeper than cross dressing."   "Yes.  I guess we need some counseling."  And they went.
    • April Marie
      You look wonderful!!! A rose among the roses.
    • Ashley0616
      Mine would be SHEIN as much as I have bought from them lol.
    • MaeBe
      This is the persistence in thinking of trans girls as predators and, as if, they are the only kind of predation that happens in locker rooms. This is strikingly close to the dangerous myth that anatomy corresponds with sexuality and equates to gender.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...