Hello everyone.

[2beBreanna]

Good morning all.  I am Breanna.  Or will be soon i hope.  I just rediscovered  my inner girl over the last 2 years.  I'm 41 y/o.  I am married for 17 years to a great women and have 2 children. 

 

Over the last 2 years my wife and I played with feminization.  I ran with it as much as I could.  I loved it from the start.   I have since been thinking non-stop about why it felt so right.  After lots of soul searching I brought up buried memories of wanting to be female when I was younger. 

I guess when I younger I told myself it can never happen and pushed those desires to the side.  I tried hard to be a man.  And failed on many fronts as I look at the last 2 decades. But I must have done good enough that even i forgot I am not meant to be a man.

 

Anyways....  I finally talked about this to my wife who went way over board saying we will be divorced and she is losing me.  After some talks and letting her know I won't make any moves until we discuss and she is OK with it.  She is still having a hard time but warming up and has told me I can explore it more with a counselor and doctor to see what steps I can start. 

 

So later today I get to call insurance  and come out to them and see what is covered.

[Jackie C.]

Salutations Breanna and welcome to TransPulse!

 

Your story runs parallel to a lot of girls here. For example, I was terrible at being a man too. Also bad at being a boy. Dad tried to force me into Boy Scouts. It was not pretty.

 

I'm sorry your wife isn't taking the news well, but she's willing to let you seek therapy and see how it goes. There's a good chance she'll come around once she's had time to think. My wife doesn't consider herself a lesbian either, but she's adjusted her preferences to "Men plus me." I couldn't ask for anything better.

 

I'm looking forward to getting to know you, so feel free to jump in as the mood strikes you.

 

Hugs!

[Mmindy]

1 hour ago, 2beBreanna said:

Anyways....  I finally talked about this to my wife who went way over board saying we will be divorced and she is losing me.  After some talks and letting her know I won't make any moves until we discuss and she is OK with it.  She is still having a hard time but warming up and has told me I can explore it more with a counselor and doctor to see what steps I can start. 

Good morning @2beBreanna you're among like minded people here at TransPulseForums. My wife is not on board with my transition. She is battling with the loss of a Husband and 44 year Marriage, we're working through couples counseling. Give your wife time to adjust to the transitioning you.

 

Hugs,

 

Mindy???

[Confused1]

5 hours ago, 2beBreanna said:

Good morning all.  I am Breanna.  Or will be soon i hope.  I just rediscovered  my inner girl over the last 2 years.  I'm 41 y/o.  I am married for 17 years to a great women and have 2 children. 

 

Anyways....  I finally talked about this to my wife who went way over board saying we will be divorced and she is losing me.  After some talks and letting her know I won't make any moves until we discuss and she is OK with it.  She is still having a hard time but warming up and has told me I can explore it more with a counselor and doctor to see what steps I can start.

 

Hi Breanna,

 

As Jackie & Mindy have stated your wife's reaction is similar to many of us. My wife has no desire to be lesbian. I am not socially transitioning, but am having bottom surgery to fix a medical issue from a botched prostate surgery. My wife was actually OK with the surgery until she realized I was transgender. That started a roller coaster ride with my wife I didn't know if we could overcome at first. We've been married 40 years. It has got much better recently, but maybe not to "men plus me" yet. One can hope?

 

Just remember, this is new information to your wife and it will take some time to process. By letting her know she will be involved in each move you have already taken a step in the right direction. It is a transition for her just as much as it is for you. Keeping her involved can make all the difference and help keep your relationship alive.

 

Hugs,

Mike

[2beBreanna]

Thank you for the welcome and reassurances.  I feel that my wife is slowly coming to as she she thinks back to my more male/not so friendly being compared to the feminine gentler being.  I try to get her to realize that if i am happy with who I am, I will be the gentle lovey dovey person she wants now more.   

 

For now my goal is to start HRT slowly and possibly an orchi since that is my biggest dysphoria spot.  I have been hoping for a few years to get rid of those things.  

 

I called insurance today and got what I feared would happen...Transgender care  is excluded from the policy.  I have a good insurance plan but I guess they decided the employees would not be open to others transitioning.  Working in a "mans" job sucks, but it pays the bills.  Now i need to research what steps i can take to get on HRT or even just T blockers.

[Jani]

Welcome Breanna!  I hope your journey with your wife goes smoothly.  As to insurance, I think that is a common response.  I'm retired but I don't believe my employer covered any TG services.  My current insurance doesn't provide coverage either.  After starting therapy, you may find HRT to be reasonable in cost.  

 

Please join in the conversation.

Jani

[2beBreanna]

1 hour ago, Jani said:

After starting therapy, you may find HRT to be reasonable in cost.  

Thanks for the reassurance Jani. 

 

That is my hopes, I would hope the meds wont be much of an issue.  Its just hard hearing that when you finally open to the idea of pursuing this when there is a strong chance of it completely changing life.   I think I have other avenues to take to get the one surgery I want/need.  it will just take time and lots of appointments complaining about issues i have mostly ignored after being told its no big deal.

[Emily michelle]

Welcome Breanna I also feared the insurance company. When I called them originally they said no transgender coverage. I went to my endocrinologist and met with her and they were able to push it through. I have been on hrt for 6 months and have had a mammogram and insurance has covered everything including the majority of my prescriptions. When or if you decide on hrt talk with your endocrinologist. Working in a male dominated field is hard. I’m not out to my union and employer yet. Eventually I will get there hiding is proving harder than coming out.

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Breanna.  I hope that your wife comes around to supporting you.  It often takes a while, and a lot of conversation and facts, to reassure a spouse.  With my wife, once she went out with me and saw that people treated me as a woman and there was no drama, she started to warm up to Carolyn.

 

Before CA changed its insurance laws to ensure that transition related care was covered, I paid cash for HRT and office visits.  After the initial exams and blood work, HRT turned out to cost about $20/month.  Obviously surgery will cost much more, but its not an ongoing expense for many people, especially if limited to an orchi.  But I'm getting ahead of things.  Therapy and HRT come first.  I wish you all the best.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[TommieAnne]

Hi Breanna!

Welcome to letting your inner girl come out to play!

Hugs!

TA