Hello everyone.I am Sukey from China

[Sukey]

I was born in Shanghai in 1997.You can call me Sukey or  my nickname,PP.

In my sixth grade - 2009, I awakened my female gender identity.
In my first year of high school, I read social science articles about transgender lesbians, and I realized that I was a lesbian.
I had a suitor in high school, and I told her I was a transgender lesbian and I wanted to be your girlfriend. She didn't talk to me again. This happened twice. After that, I still have suitors, but I no longer come out to them, and I refuse them.
I suffered from Gender Dysphoria in college., and I had a lot of time to think about my transition .I practice karate and Taekwondo and jiu-jitsu a lot to kill time
Gender dysphoria was accumulating, and my goal was to have HRT as soon as possible.
Until April 2020, I asked my family to accompany me to see a psychiatrist. I told my mother that I was a transgender woman. Since I was 10 years old, I felt like I was a woman. My mother asked me if I was like Pete and Julie‘s transgender son and I said yes.

My goal was to do HRT. In Shanghai, there is only one Hormonal doctor who prescribe HRT, and a psychiatrist's diagnosis is required. 
Psychiatrists in China use CCMD-3 “Transsexualism” Transsexualism  to judge transgender people. their“ transgender criteria” are: no mental illness, over 20 years of age and parents approval.In Shanghai, there are only three Psychiatrists who “diagnose  transgender”.
You have to have diagnosis from two psychiatrists, one of whom ，dr Lu ， is a  homophobic who has a stereotype of transgender women

On May 4, my mother and I went to see  psychiatrist. Dr Lu Zheng didn't diagnose me , because my parents and I had too little communication on the matter. He assigned  homework and asked me to communicate with my parents more, but  my parents and I haven't mentioned it for five months now. I looked for a lot of materials, read a few  coming out manual, and  plan to come out.

I found out on the internet that there is a professional and trans-friendly medical team in Beijing who can prescribe HRT and dont need  psychiatrist's diagnosis.This is my backup plan if my parents' reaction is fierce and things getting worse.

 2020  September, I have a suitor. She is a student in karate dojo. She is a biomedical + Math phd student studying in the UK. She is two years older than me. I love her. I want to come out to her. But I'm worried that she is  Straight heterosexual  and wont accpect me. So it's like I was in high school.
I am now working in a CCP-owned enterprise. It is impossible for me to come out in the workplace or even not behaving like a man. For example, a colleague I strongly suspect is MTF. She had a younger sister's hair cut. As a result, she was ordered to cut by the Party branch secretary.I have additional medical  insurance,so i cant lose this job.
I'm planning to come out to my mom first. I have a good relationship with my parents. My goal of coming out is to achieve ：

1 they can clearly understand that I am a transgender woman and lesbian.

2 get them to agree that I'm going to start transition, mainly with hair and clothing and HRT

3 getting emotional support
4. explain transgender medical process 
 
I'm planning to come out to my parents and my suitor.but i don't know how.Any advice？

[Danusia]

If I were You, I would do this so as not to lose the favor of such a talented person as Your loved one. It is this aspect, not transsexualism, that strikes my eyes the most, but someone who declares himself as a transsexual may have a different perspective.

Best regards.

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Sukey.  Your English is excellent, so congrats on that!  I wish you all the best if you choose to come out to your parents.  Good luck with transitioning in China.  I would imagine it will not be easy.  Please do look around the forums and post questions and comments.  We'll be there to support you.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[Astrid]

6 hours ago, Sukey said:

I'm planning to come out to my parents and my suitor.but i don't know how.Any advice？

One way you can chose to come out is by letter.  This is the way that I chose, and there are several others in the Transpulse community who have done the same.  It gives you a chance to carefully decide what you want to say and how to say it (which can be hard if you come out in a speech when you're nervous).  

 

Hugs, and best wishes on your journey ahead!

 

Astrid