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Orthodox crossdresser


Chanie

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Hi, I’m Chanie. I’ve been crossdressing since before my barmitzvah. I’m very much in the closet. The only people who know about Chanie are my wife and a sister. My wife knows but will not see me dressed, occasionally she will take the children out so I can spend some Chanie time. I know this is a big blessing for me. 
I feel like I’m the only one in my community or anywhere who is pretty much orthodox but have this overpowering need to dress up. 

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  • Admin

Welcome to the Forums Chanie.  I hope you can use us to handle some of the frustrations you are dealing with.  The psychological needs to be gender variant cut across all lines of ethnicity and religion as this site demonstrates.  I know that Orthodox Judaism is not receptive to Trans people, but here in my So. California area the Reform congregations have been wonderfully accepting.  I belong to a Transgender Chorus here and we have been invited to take part in several Shabbat and Ha Shabbat services by providing special music actually composed by two Cantors who are Trans themselves. 

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  • Admin

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Chanie.  I can understand your anxiety about melding your cross dressing with your religious practices and theology.  There have been posts in this forum with links to articles about how Orthodox Rabbis have addressed trans and other LGBT issues.  There are many transgender Jews (and I used that term in the umbrella sense, so it applies to you).  I am one, although I am not practicing the faith.  I have given lectures at many, many Temples, most of which have been Reform.  Vicky is correct that the Reform branch of Judaism is very welcoming, and its Rabbinical Councill has said so firmly and publicly.  That may be an option for you. 

 

I wish you all the best.

 

Carolyn Marie

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Hi Chanie!  nice to meet you, and Welcome!

I believe you will find this Forum and the Members here to be a great resource for you and your journey. 

On 11/2/2020 at 8:36 PM, Chanie said:

My wife knows but will not see me dressed

I am in a bit of a similar situation as you.  Gender therapy has been a great help for me to find self-acceptance and to also to begin to work within my relationship.  I hope you have access and an opportunity for the same. 

Looking forward to hear more from you.  Deep breaths ... one step at a time❣️

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  • 9 months later...

Hi Chanie,

 

I just found this post, and I want to confirm for you that you are not the only Orthodox Jew with the urge to dress :) I know your post was awhile ago, I hope you see this and feel less alone. I certainly did when I found your post.

 

Elisheva

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  • 1 year later...

HI Chani Happy to hear from you. You are definitely not the only one, there are frum trans groups out there if you would like to join.

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  • 2 months later...
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...

Let's be in touch! 

 

My email is my ***** name, then ***, at *mail

Edited by MaryEllen
Edited per rule 21 of the Community Rules
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Whoops, didn't realize that's not allowed

 

But let's be in touch in any case

1 hour ago, Elisheva said:

Let's be in touch! 

 

My email is my ***** name, then ***, at *mail

 

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      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. 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