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My First Day of Rememberance


Heather Shay

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Today I am posting my first response to the Day of Remembrance. I was aware of the annual day of mourning for our brothers and sisters and those anywhere along the spectrum but being I finally came out this year and have found so much love and comfort and community and wisdom here, my heart breaks for those who have lost their lives being who they REALLY ARE and not being accepted. I cannot help them now but I am deeply grateful for the sacrifices and braveness and obstacles they faced to give me the ability to face myself in an atmosphere that is by no means perfect but so much more accepting. I am 68 and I know I could never have been able to take the steps I have without their love and the wars they fought - including military wars - and I cannot express my gratitude enough as the tears roll down my cheeks (thank you HRT - you are helping me feel and express my emotion sorrow for our lost ones).

 

If you can and want - please bow your head someone today and thank them and smile to them because they are a big part of paving the road you are now on, a road that is still filled with ruts but much easier to travel because OF THEM.

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We have posts here in the Forums about online TDOR events taking place tonight and through the weekend.  I have read names of individual victims at public gatherings for nearly 10 years, and each time it is with a sense of connection to these Trans siblings that you will not get otherwise.  One of those times was to a packed theater of people getting to know and see Trans people close and real for the first time.  I know it made a difference because they sought me out outside to tell me it did.

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I didn't even know about this,  probably because I've been living in secret until recently.  I do know about being lucky to be alive...lucky to have survived my dysphoria so far, so this day is now an important one.  I feel so much sadness thinking about the lives lost, and the difficult lives being lived right now.  I think I'll honor them today by being thankful for my life, and my situation, and most of all, by not turning on myself.  This road is hard enough.  Bless you all...past and present.

?

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On 11/20/2020 at 5:55 AM, Shay said:

Today I am posting my first response to the Day of Remembrance. I was aware of the annual day of mourning for our brothers and sisters and those anywhere along the spectrum but being I finally came out this year and have found so much love and comfort and community and wisdom here, my heart breaks for those who have lost their lives being who they REALLY ARE and not being accepted. I cannot help them now but I am deeply grateful for the sacrifices and braveness and obstacles they faced to give me the ability to face myself in an atmosphere that is by no means perfect but so much more accepting. I am 68 and I know I could never have been able to take the steps I have without their love and the wars they fought - including military wars - and I cannot express my gratitude enough as the tears roll down my cheeks (thank you HRT - you are helping me feel and express my emotion sorrow for our lost ones).

 

If you can and want - please bow your head someone today and thank them and smile to them because they are a big part of paving the road you are now on, a road that is still filled with ruts but much easier to travel because OF THEM.

I have been to 3 remembrance and to this day I will never attend to those events again. I'm very say and keep to myself. Those days I went to pay my respects. The last three events that I went to I was mis-gendered by my own community. And the third I was directly insulted. I have not been in three years now. This is the way I looked when I went to the events. Go figure 

DSC02968 2.jpg

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