Stepping Out, Saying Hi

[CallMeKeira]

Hello. You can call me Keira. It's not my name on paper, but it's one I've grown rather fond of. Where to start? I suppose I'll start with the generals. I was born 27 years ago, assigned male at birth. I was a premature arrival, and they were expecting a girl up until I was born. I've struggled most of my life to fit in, in one way or another. No matter what I've done, I've always felt off. I've tried to live up to expectations, but that's hard to do when the expectations drift so far away from how you feel. Over the course of the past year and three months, I've been more intently and honestly exploring my gender identity, with the support of my therapist. I have stopped identifying as a man, except in situations where I have no choice. I've abandoned most all usage of my full masculine name in favor of a more gender-neutral variation. I don't know where my road leads and I'm honestly scared as all get-out. Funny thing is I don't know what I'm afraid of. Again, you can call me Keira. Thank you all for existing and for reading. Cheers.

[Jackie C.]

Salutations @CallMeKeira! Happy to meet you! We're glad you're here!

 

Your story has a lot of familiar elements. A lot of us girls went through something similar as we grew up. Eventually our eggs cracked and here we are! Some of us take longer than others. I'm happy you realized what you needed at a relatively young age. I wish I'd had the knowledge and courage to come out when I was much younger, so you're already ahead of the game.

 

Hugs!

[Elizabeth Star]

Hi @CallMeKeira, welcome to TP.

[Heather Shay]

@CallMeKeira A warm welcome. You are fortunate and BRAVE to get an early start on transition if you choose that route. T hasn't completely taken hold and you will see a wonderful change if you move toward HRT. Glad to see you found a therapist and are exploring gender identity - that is a crucial step and your posting is well written and I can sense you being a wonderful person. I have found haven here and an incredible resource for honest discussion and advice from those who have been through what you and I have and are going through. I'm one of the older farts but you will found those like ElizabethStar who are more in your age range and interst range and I can see you finding some really wonderful new friends. Again WELCOME.

[CallMeKeira]

Thank you all! (^-^)

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Trans Pulse, Keira.  I'm glad to know that you're seeing a therapist, b/c they are usually helpful in understanding yourself and in deciding which path is right for you.  We can fill some of that role here, as well.  Please feel free to look around the forums and ask questions.  That's the best and fastest way to learn.

 

HUGS

 

Carolyn Marie

[DeeDee]

On 11/20/2020 at 5:10 PM, CallMeKeira said:

I've struggled most of my life to fit in, in one way or another. No matter what I've done, I've always felt off. I've tried to live up to expectations, but that's hard to do when the expectations drift so far away from how you feel.

Hi Keira. This absolutely strikes a chord, and is one of the hardest things I've found to explain to other people in person!

Regardless of where your questioning takes you, you are not alone, the people here are wonderful in my experience.  

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Keira,

Welcome to Transpulse. I'm glad you're here! We're all scared at first. Joining these forums is what helped me get through the fear the best, just reading how others got through it. We're not alone here!

 

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

[Ann W]

On 11/20/2020 at 9:10 AM, CallMeKeira said:

I don't know where my road leads and I'm honestly scared as all get-out. Funny thing is I don't know what I'm afraid of.

I really like that part...I found it helpful, because...me too.

 

Welcome Keira.

[Ivy]

Welcome Keira.

I'm another of the old/young ladies myself.

On 11/20/2020 at 12:10 PM, CallMeKeira said:

I'm honestly scared as all get-out.

Yeah, it can get like that at times.  But you can get through it.

[CallMeKeira]

Pleased to meet you all!

[Susan R]

On 11/20/2020 at 9:10 AM, CallMeKeira said:

I don't know where my road leads and I'm honestly scared as all get-out. Funny thing is I don't know what I'm afraid of.

Hi Keira, it’s a pleasure to meet you and Welcome! You are so lucky to have been able to take these steps toward what makes you happy. It’s so common to fall into line with what others want for OUR lives. It rarely is what makes US happy but it is the easier road...until it’s not.

 

I think they way you’re going about it is a good thing. There’s no need to speed to the end without looking both direction on occasion. Your reaching out for support through a therapist, here looking for answers on our forum, and possibly even gaining a few friends along the way. This may be all you need for now and this support can help relieve some of your fears. There are so many of us here experiencing many of the things you’re feeling so you know that you’re not alone. As time moves along, you’ll soon see that many of the fears that kept us in the box were unfounded. Although, right now, they feel like a real threat—your changing perspective, your increasing understanding, and your need to live in truth becomes paramount, you’ll overcome all of them as many here have.

 

Its nice to have you with us. I’d enjoy reading more about you.

 

Warmest Regards,

Susan R?