Doesn't Really Feel Like the Holidays

[Sally Stone]

Today, despite the awful weather, I dressed nicely and went out for coffee.  With the spread of the COVID virus here in NJ, I am trying to do my part by staying away from crowded spaces, so the only places I tend to frequent are places where I can do a quick in and out, like a coffee shop.  Usually, this is the time of year when I shop till I drop and in year's past, nearly all of my Christmas shopping was done while being Sally.  Expressing my feminine side while enjoying the camaraderie of holiday shopping crowds has always an important activity for me, and it has always signified the holiday season.  I'm trying to make the best of things, but I really can't wait until we get past this pandemic thing, and some form of normalcy returns.

[Susan R]

1 hour ago, Sally Stone said:

I really can't wait until we get past this pandemic thing, and some form of normalcy returns.

Sally, I’m with you there. I miss being out in the world doing even the most routine things as my true self...without masks, of course. Will our grandkids refer to our time as the Pre-Mask era? Makes you wonder. I understand that all this change is needed to combat this thing but I empathize with you when you say...

1 hour ago, Sally Stone said:

Expressing my feminine side while enjoying the camaraderie of holiday shopping crowds has always an important activity for me, and it has always signified the holiday season.

All you can do is try to stay positive that change is coming soon. Life without socialization is hardly living at all.

 

*Big Virtual Hug*

Susan R?

[TTheta]

It really doesn't feel very holiday-ee to me either. Usually my parents would go out Christmas shopping and leave us kids at home for hours at a time which us kids loved and we had awesome snacks and we all got along. But this year, the other kids have all moved out and my parents are doing all the shopping online. It's a very bizarre feeling. Though I can't dis the masks, I was actually a fan of masks before they were mandatory haha, I like the aesthetic. I have made a few masks that are washable and you put in a filter, with a fold able piece you put on the bridge of your nose for a snug fit

[Jackie C.]

2 hours ago, Aidan5 said:

I have made a few masks that are washable and you put in a filter, with a fold able piece you put on the bridge of your nose for a snug fit

 

I have six of those in my purse, right now. Seven if you count the emergency pink one. Plus a dozen or so disposables in my gym bag for emergencies. They're decorated with, let's see... Smiley Face, Trans Pride Flag, Pretty Design, Vampire Lips, Fox Muzzle and Skull with Roses. I mean if I can't match my outfit, what's the POINT?

 

I do most of my holiday shopping online anyway. I'm looking forward to this year because of the smaller gathering honestly. I don't like crowds. Not even when I'm tangentially related to them and my sister-in-law married into a BIG family.  I spent a chunk of time looking into dessert recipes I can share with my friends and my picky niece (she SAYS she likes anything, but it's a lie). I'm looking forward to making gluten-free and dairy-free Christmas desserts (I have plans for cookies, cupcakes and my awesome cheesecake this year) and sharing them with friends and family alike.

 

It's about spending time with people you care about and doing things for others. I can still do that, so it's all good.

 

Hugs!

[Charlize]

Still trying to make life festive.  2 rosemary bushes in the entry.  Great sniff and lovely to see.  I can’t let short days and the pandemic get me down.  Life is good!

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Abi]

When I was married, my ex would not let me go see my parents for Christmas. She has a huge family and always said it would ruin her traditions to miss her mother's house that day. My folks live two states away. I never once, in 14 years, got to see two of the most important people in the world, to me, for the holiday. That was my normal and I am happy that there is no going back to that. I always knew it was wrong but, what was I going to do? Now that I am divorced, I still don't get that joy and probably won't until my children are adults. They have no idea how much they have been deprived by my ex but, it's ok. I put my energy into my children and they know I love them. For me, Christmas is happier now. The few I get to have, for the holidays, actually love me and don't expect anything else. I doubt I will ever stop wearing the mask in public now. I know many people are looking at this like it will be over with the introduction of a vaccine but, in truth. This bug will be a problem for many years. This also needs to be a wake up call for the world and we all should not doubt the "if" of another pandemic but instead "when". 

[Mia Marie]

It is even more of not so good holiday season for me. My stepfather passed away close really close to Thanksgiving and my great grandmother passed away on Christmas day. With this pandemic thing going on, so many things are changing and the possibility of another country shutdown seems to get closer and closer. We can only hope that a shutdown doesn't happen. Prey to whomever you prey to for no shutdown and a reduction in the numbers. There is still the possibility that the numbers were doctored to be higher than the real numbers. You never know and a shutdown could weaken this nation to a place where we may not be able bounce back. 

[Susan R]

16 hours ago, gina-nicole-t said:

I honestly think with the methods of today that we can make it through this if we band together. Just my opinion.

I agree, Gina. If the world would’ve reacted and came together in a more serious manor to this pandemic, we might not be in this place at all right now. It has to be a group effort and I trust we’ll make it through this as a country.

 

Susan R?

[KayC]

On 12/1/2020 at 3:52 AM, Sally Stone said:

I'm trying to make the best of things, but I really can't wait until we get past this pandemic thing, and some form of normalcy returns.

I feel you, Sally.  Its just been a horrible year, specially for those who've lost a loved one, or have had to be on the front lines of this pandemic.
There are always "silver linings" though, and I have been fortunate to have experienced that ... like finding this Forum and making progress to finally find my true self.
We ARE going to come out of this ... and then we can compare the wonders of next year's holidays to how we made it through this year with greater appreciation for those moments ... and hopefully greater compassion and appreciation to all of our fellow human beings.  That is the true spirit of the holidays to begin with, right?  ?❤️

[Kiara]

At my work we normally only do some very basic decorating, but this year starting with Halloween we've gone all out. Fall/Halloween used to just be some sad foam pumpkins and other little odds and ends, but this year we did fake webs, a ton of paper cutouts all over the walls, a fake ghost, a scarecrow, etc. Thanksgiving was a ton of paper cutouts and printables. Now for Christmas/Hanukkah we have lots of snowflakes and fake trees all over the place in addition to our regular tree and menorahs. We also threw a Santa hat on our scarecrow. We're trying to make things as festive and fun as possible in this dark time and I think it helps people.

Meanwhile at home we're considering not getting a tree this year. We normally pick up a live tree, but with everything going on outside and the fact we're not even sure where to put it now, we're thinking of just skipping it this year. It's really sad, but it's an unnecessary expense right now. I've had my co-workers ask about my Christmas shopping and I was a little thrown off. I know it's something people are still compelled to do, but I just hadn't even considered it this year. With the huge spike in case numbers and concern of possible furloughs if we shut down again, I've been avoiding spending any money for unnecessary things. 

I see all the things starting for the holidays, but I just don't feel it this year. Even decorating at work is just sort of feels like I'm just going through the motions. We're supposed to decorate at home this weekend and I'm just not sure how into it I will be this year. Hopefully this is all just for this year and next year will be better for everyone.

[AmberM]

This year my mental health is in slightly better shape than it was last year. My wife and I decided that we are going to decorate this year, we got the tree up (good first step), but still need to decorate it. I think this year we are going to make modifications for the most part, trying to see what family we can, when we can in small gatherings. If we can, we will meet in outside venues like the local Zoo does something called Wild Lights (it may have been mentioned in Secrets of the Zoo, I don't know). The whole Zoo gets decorated in lights and they put on light shows as well. So the plan is to try to see people around that venue as an example. There is also a cookie baking tradition that my wife does with a couple of her long time friends, I suggested this year they do it via Zoom and do a cookie exchange when we go to Zoo lights with them.

 

I do hope that everybody can find their thing that will be something to hold onto to make it through this rough time of year to be isolated. I understand that it is really difficult.

[KymmieL]

I haven't felt in the holiday spirit is as far back as I remember. I have spent a few holidays working for Uncle sugar. Including basic training. Where I spent T-day, My b-day, Xmas and New Years. They are just another day. Sad as it sounds. that is the way I see it. It is nice that I spend the day with my family. That is the only happiness I get out of it.

 

Only thing that I can relate that my have caused it. Christmas mornings I would wake up early, like 3:00 early. I would unwrap my stocking. Then wait and wait and wait. the house rule was couldn't get Mom and Dad up till 6. Me , my sister and my mom would wait on the stairs until Dad plugged in the tree lights.

On Xmas I was maybe early teens. I went to wake up my parents. My dad bitched me out. So I went back to bed. finally getting woke up  by Mom at 9. I think that did it.

 

Kymmie

[Kiara]

11 hours ago, KymmieL said:

I haven't felt in the holiday spirit is as far back as I remember. I have spent a few holidays working for Uncle sugar. Including basic training. Where I spent T-day, My b-day, Xmas and New Years. They are just another day. Sad as it sounds. that is the way I see it. It is nice that I spend the day with my family. That is the only happiness I get out of it.

 

Only thing that I can relate that my have caused it. Christmas mornings I would wake up early, like 3:00 early. I would unwrap my stocking. Then wait and wait and wait. the house rule was couldn't get Mom and Dad up till 6. Me , my sister and my mom would wait on the stairs until Dad plugged in the tree lights.

On Xmas I was maybe early teens. I went to wake up my parents. My dad bitched me out. So I went back to bed. finally getting woke up  by Mom at 9. I think that did it.

 

Kymmie

 

Staring in my teens my mother would find a way to blame me for ruining Christmas for the (x) year in a row. I worked retail for over a decade after that. Needless to say, the original magic and spirit of Christmas has long since been lost for me. I manage to find some small joy in decorating with my partners and doing Christmas things with them, but the general spirit of the season just falls flat with me. I've gotten fairly good at faking it due to my years in retail, but even that is a struggle this year.

[Abi]

    I'm sad that so many of us have some sort of negativity attached to some or all of the holidays. I really only ever wanted one thing for the holidays and that was to see my family. I haven't had that in so long that I have become bitter and that makes me sad. I watched everyone leave my life slowly but surely and that's likely the reason I keep most people from getting to really know me now. What's the point in opening your heart to people when the lesson life has taught you is that they always leave for one reason or another. What's worse is remembering the ones that wouldn't leave or tried their best to ruin your's for their own gain. I often wish I hadn't lived that life and instead had been part of a family that would have never dreamed of being apart. 

    One thing that I can be happy about though, is knowing that not everyone has these kinds of experiences. I am happy some families will never know how I have felt since I was just a little kid. I think that is one of the greatest strengths of different families I've known over the years. They did everything together and seemed happy about it most of the time. I wish I could have felt the connection that they seemed to have. It always breaks my heart when I see someone take that special blessing for granted. Anyway, sorry, I just wish things were happier for all of us. 

[Guest]

Overalls Bear does not do Christmas... or any other holiday either for that matter. 

[Alex-John]

i am Norse Pagan with some Hinduism and Buddhism meditation i follow everyday  makes my day better ,  so this isnt really a holiday for me  but my birthday is 23rd dec so i can have gifts then  my partner was Christian but is kinda moving away from that 

he got me a pc and i got him a better one  as he plays games more than me i am just learning how to play them ....my pc is powerful enough for basic games