What's In A Name!

[Guest Zenda]

A while ago I was attending a meeting held by the Human Rights Commission regarding their transgender enquiry and a trans-woman who was a spokes person for the prostitutes collective asked me an unusual question she asked what did I see myself as...a transsexual or woman ?... Earlier on she had commented on the fact because of my size and appearance I would rarely be 'clocked'...My answer was 'woman'. What she was saying was now that I've had surgery and live in society as my affirmed gender am I still transsexual or woman...

When my sister was over a couple of years ago from the UK she could not understand why I would call myself transsexual she said you are not transsexual you are now a woman... I know there are some former Benjamin's Syndrome sufferers who are now 'cured' ie, are having HRT and if necessary have had surgery but still insist on the label 'transsexual' One could argue 'transsexuality' was the medical condition we suffered from but once 'cured' we take our place in society as normal-males or females...[or as near to that description as possible] ! What 'label' do you use or will you use?

Metta Jendar

[Guest angie]

My My Jendar,

This has been one of my favorite things to ask the women of my support group.

As of right this moment,i am a Transsexual,but i am also a woman.

Though i haven't had surgery yet,i still consider myself A WOMAN.

When i was trying to explain myself to others,they just could not grasp the term Transgender.

And that word in it self is a very devisive word in the gender community.

The straights in my spiritual community finally got what i was saying when i told a room full of people...

"I am not a man any longer,I give up my manhood,You can have it,I am a Transsexual Woman in transition,I am taking female hormones to become the woman that i already know i am."

And that my dear friend,put a stop to folks calling me by the wrong gender.

Let me tell you...it stunned them into absolute silence.Even my minister was speechless.

So the question,what do i consider myself a Transsexual or a Woman?

I am Both.Even after surgery,I will still be both,I will be a Transwoman,a very noble name for those of us that make this journey.

But,that is just my opinion.

Hugs You Thought Provoking Woman You.

Angie.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia ora and Thanks Angie,

In certain situations I have no choice but to out myself...for example I was seeing a careers service person who was helping me with a CV...I had to explain to her all my professional qualifications certificates etc were still in my former male name....fortunately she told me not many potential employers ask to see them. And it also occurs when at my local medical centre I might see a locum because my regular Dr's away[sometimes the locums don't read my medical notes prior to seeing me] they start asking why I need this and that... It seems I'm outing myself on a regular basis. However I might not mention the term 'transsexual' I might say I've had 'gender corrective surgery' adding the old cliché "I was born a male!" Even that is funny at times a few people were under the impression I was born intersex...in a sense I was but not how they first interpreted my answer ie, ambiguous sex organs.

By the way Angie my ancestry also includes Arawak indian...The reason the Spanish first brought Africans to the Carribean was because they had killed off most peaceful indigious Arawak Indians-those who survive interbreed with African slaves. Arawak Indians are not to be confused with the warlike Carrab Indians who often killed and enslaved the Arawak. Many Afro Carribeans have Arawak blood. Just thought you might like to know. And to finally add salt to the wounds on my mother's side her ancestors were of Spanish descent... So I'm the slaver, enslaved-One might say I'm DIMORPHIC in every sense of the word.

Metta Jendar

[Zufrieden]

Hi Jendar & Angie:

I am not a man any longer, I give up my manhood.

I'm with that 100%. If I had a membership card, I would have burnt it years ago.

Still, I'm not totally sold on the competition across the street. They seem to be hung up on stereotypes, too.

And I'm not so hot on the ambiguity of androgyny, neutrois or third sex.

Until I think of something better, I'll call myself a transsexual and pretty much just look the way I do.

Z.

[Guest elenag]

What 'label' do you use or will you use?

Metta Jendar

When I get through the day without once thinking of the word transsexual, I will call myself a woman. Until then I will reluctantly say transsexual.

[Guest Kiera]

I am a woman... with a transsexual physical condition... That is the crux of the problem... As a woman, I have failed utterly to find lasting peace, stability or happiness trying to live as a man in the "man's" body I was born in. I have always been a woman, I will always be a woman and that is the term I prefer...

I am not defined by the physical ailments I have... even if they do affect all aspects of my life that is not my definition.

Huggles and Loves

Kiera

[Guest Mr. Fox]

I am a transsexual male. I am male, but my transsexuality is still rather important, especially because I have not transitioned.

[Guest GoldenKirbichu]

I'm a man with an unfortunate birth defect. I didn't choose to have it, and as a result of it, I was raised incorrectly for sixteen years of my life. I am now in the process of repairing as much of the damage as I can.

I won't scrap everything I learned. Some of that information is important. Some things I can never really enjoy or experience now because I can't go back in time... but I intend to make the most of what I have.

I want to be seen as a man, like any other man, regardless of what my body happens to look like. My transsexuality is indeed important, but it shouldn't be paramount.

[Guest Leah1026]

This is a deep and sometimes controversial subject.

First I'll cover the non-controversial part. During transition it is pretty normal for you to change the way you label yourself. I know before I faced my issues I thought I was a defective male. Then, as I faced my issues, I saw myself as transgendered. Later still, I considered myself a transsexual woman. And finally just plain woman. Self acceptance takes time. Just when you think you're there, you discover another layer that needs to be peeled off. I like to say transition is a "Journey to the Center of Yourself". So I would advise not to get to wrapped up in a label right now because how you see yourself will probably change. We have so many forces to deal with:

family

friends

society in general

church

employers

finances

the patriarchy (explains why MtF's are scrutinized more)

internalized transphobia

and more, that it shouldn't be a surprise that self-acceptance takes time. We not only have to deal with old, wrong programming/socialization, but also all the elaborate defenses we erected over time to protect ourselves. If you're reading this Congratulations! You are a fellow survivor. That might sound like an exaggeration to some of you younger folks, but the older one gets, the more difficult coping becomes. And we can start to have more and more in common with sufferers of PTSD. Okay, enough about that.

I think many of the people that label themselves "transsexuals" are having trouble with self-acceptance. Shame is very sneaky and cause some to believe that they are not worthy of the title "woman". Some get caught up in essentialist arguments, meaning they can never be a woman because they were born a man. The answer to these arguments is being born transsexual (adjective, not noun) is a physical birth condition. There is no choice involved. It is a state of being characterized with a brain at odds with the body. And since the brain is the seat of consciousness, it is what defines you, not your body!

Now the controversial part. Please don't go ballistic when I describe the following splits in the community. Some people choose to identify as transsexual instead of being a woman. What's wrong with that? To many, including me, being "transsexual" is a transitory experience. Let me illustrate:

Pre-everything (denial, confusion)--->Transsexual--->Woman.

"Transsexual" to me explains that awkward middle phase of transition when you are visibly gender variant. By definition a person born transsexual identifies as the gender opposite of what they were assigned at birth. A person born transsexual therefore identifies as female or male. By definition if someone identifies as anything else, they were not born transsexual. They are genderqueer, androgyne or something else. They are co-opting the label "transsexual".

Controversial Part 2

Another split in the community is between people who are stealth or assimilated and those who are out and proud. I freely admit I'm on the side of assimilation, meaning I want as normal a life as possible. I have nothing against out and proud folks. They do a lot of good for the community. But it comes at a cost. They become known as "transsexuals" (noun) and not as women. Trust me, there is a difference in how people treat you if they know your medical history. In my experience approximately 5% of cisgendered folks get it. The other 95% will marginalize you, treat you as "other" once they know. Yes, the public is getting more educated, but they have a long ways to go still.

Controversial Part 3

In Australia, and some other countries, they moved to legally (Re:Kevin decision) seeing being born transsexual as a form of intersex. Which when you think of it makes sense: Brain one sex, body another. One way of putting it I've heard is to say you were born "Neurologically intersexed". The importance here is replacement of the old belief of psychological origin with one of physical origin. Who would object to this? Many people classicly classifed as intersexed are violently opposed to being associated with people born transsexual (transphobia?).

I could go on and on. Like I said this is a deep, and at times, controversial subject in the community. So as I said back at the beginning try NOT to get too attached to labels. Because the chances are how you see yourself will evolve over time. Focus on you and your needs. Listen to your heart and let it be your guide (To thine own self be true).

Don't let labels define you. Define yourself!

* I hope I didn't make a big mistake by posting this. Moderators please delete if you think it's too controversial.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Leah1026,

Life's funny at times-at the onset of 'knowledge' we crave the term 'transsexual' sadly for some that label sticks-their teflon coating's worn off...'the monkey on the back ' begins...But in a nutshell it's society at large who do the classify...No matter what a person wants to be seen as or feels they are inside if through no fault of their own their appearance happens to challenge society's concept of gender identify society will stamp their classification card 'transsexual' or 'transgender' or 'M.I.D'life crises[Man In a Dress syndrome]

One could argue those who go 'deep' stealth are suffering from a severe case of internalised transphobia...Internalise transphobia effects both pre transition and post transition 'Benjamin's syndrome' sufferers...Denial 'I am' and denial 'I was'...It's a strange world in which we live...But I'm loving it anyway...

Metta Jendar

[Guest Sarah P]

"Transsexual" to me explains that awkward middle phase of transition when you are visibly gender variant."

Leah, I think that you raise some amazingly interesting points (as do many other people in this thread), and this is a question I mull over... and over... and over............. and over

I like the idea that some people don't believe that they deserve the moniker of "woman", which is kind of how I feel, and I'm having trouble shaking it. This ties in with the quote that I cited from your post.

Currently (I'm years into transitioning, but still living in "boy mode"), I've been thinking of myself as a "transsexual", and I'm sort of learning how to accept that fact about myself (there are times where I still believe that it can't really be true). I do think that maybe I'll never really be a "woman", but now I think that it may be about passing and living a day-to-day life fully accepted. What you said may be wildly accurate in that case. "When you are visibly gender variant" - well some of us are always going to be in some way. I'm 6'4" and I have no illusions of how that's going to affect transitioning. Even if I look fantastic, there's still going to be the height, which will raise some eyebrows, which will eventually lead to people questioning it, which will mean that I'll probably never pass completely, no matter how badly I want to. So maybe because I think that I'll eternally be visibly gender variant, I can never allow myself to think of myself as a "woman". How much do you think your passibilty comes into play with how you see yourself in this spectrum? Do you think the two are connected or am I just off in my own little world when it comes to this?

One final thing... getting back to me passing. I'm not trying to be negative or all doom and gloomy, especially to us taller people out there. I think that I'm just stating the opinion of how I see myself. You could be as tall as me, or taller, and have a much better chance of passing 24/7 than I would. I'm just saying it contributes largely to how I see myself (no pun intended). In actuality, I would have transitioned long ago if it wasn't for my height. My height also made this epically much more difficult to accept.

On the bright side, I still have hopes that things will work out; I'm trying to do as much as I can to make me feel as good as I can about myself; and most importantly, I'm learning more and more to accept who I am, what I am etc. I'm trying to correct the things I can, and not worry about what can't be altered.... and I'm getting to be good at it. Things are looking up!

[Guest MarkG]

I'm a transsexual male, I identify as male, but I'm still a transsexual. It is kind of like a condition for the dividedness, and not really a part of my identity, just temporary diagnosis. Like I can be sick when I have a cold but afterwards I drop it and simply am me. By that same token, I guess that's how I view the transsexual part. Cuz I have always thought that once I am done with all my surgeries I would just be male. Not perfect, but whole, and that's good enough. But I hadn't really examined it until I read this, so it's interesting to think about. But yeah, once I've fully transitioned I'll be fully male, right now I'm still a transsexual male. And I'm only FTM if I need to be abbreviatedly technical, or save time as i really don't like to be reduced to alphabet soup! lol

[Guest Ryles_D]

Neither: I'm me. I see myself male more than any gender and I really don't consider myself a transsexual. I mean, I use the term 'FtM' to describe my body to people, since it's not like many people see a female body and can accept it's a boy. (although I think I'm better at passing. According to dad, the hairdresser called me 'he' until dad forgot and said "she cut it herself" about my hair) So, I'd probably say I'm transsexual until post-op since my body is transitioning and if I ever have to talk about my past as a "girl" it might have to be admitted to make sense.

But overall I'm me, and me just so happens to be a boy with two X chromosomes. Everything I define myself as is what I've worked for or have become- not things I was born with. (exceptions: I define myself as asexual and curly blonde.) And I don't want any of my achievements to be overshadowed by what I was born as, so why bring it up too much?

[Guest Martin]

I am a guy. I was born one. I will die one. This is my gender.

I was born a boy. I'm growing into a man. This is my gender.

I was born with a female body. Now my body is that of a post-top-op, on T FTM. I may eventually have a meta. This is my sex. Yet I check "male" when they ask, because I'm guessing they really want to know about gender and I'm a guy. Regardless of sex, it's my body and thus a guy's body.

I am transsexual, and I am a transsexual. This is a major factor in my sex, a medium-ish part of my identity, but only a small part of my gender. Sometimes I'm proud of it, and sometimes I struggle with shame and fear.

I am stealth in most areas of my life. I mostly ignore it in some. I display pride in others.

Now that I've transitioned, my gender and my sex are both relatively small parts of my identity. More than that, I'm a member of my family, the human of my dog, a person who struggles with mental illness, someone who loves music, a student, a person who wears black a lot, and so on. And beyond all the descriptors, I am simply myself.