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Rachel Roo Story Is A Hoax: Retraction.


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Guest Madison_Always

Laura,

You said they found her. Who is she? Why did she do all this? I don't care what they do with her... i would just like to know why?

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Guest BriannaM

Laura, I have been following this for 2 reasons, first it sickened me to hear about the murder and then that its a hoax. But for the 2nd reason, my wife was sitting beside me, while logging into the chat, she quickly noticed the headline of someone here being murdered. As many here know, fear of abuse for being trans is an every day thing, but it set her off again, about fears of something like this happening to me. So yes it has been a wonderful couple of days,

I am so glad they have found this person/ persons and will be watching this and waiting. As far as what should be done to them, no words could express my thoughts right now.

There is so much more i want to say, but will leave well enough alone, until we here more.

Bri

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Guest Darlie
Dare I ask what people would like to see happen to her? Keep it legal and practical.

I should have guessed you knew . Nothing Laura, we will do nothing to her because we don't hurt people.

Bring her here , let her tell us why she did it and let her see what she has done . By now she knows that we are all just plain boring folk and I doubt she has any fear of any of you. I suspected the relative who delivered the message was her . She just figured it was another nameless, faceless Transgender lying face down in a ditch and would blend into the large numbers already murdered. We need to talk.

Dars

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i think this person should have the book thrown at them but sadly there is not a book big enough in these situations but the thing that really grinds my gears is her supposed goodbye letter in it she point blame and fogeivness at a handfull of ppl a few of them teens to me this was a attempt at emotional terrorisim that could have had real fatalites in the end i.e suicide attempts

there would be no point in bringing her here and asking here why because the onlything you are going to get out of them is more lies i mean they carried on with a lie for over a year there is no reason for them to tell the truth now and keeping it all one big mystery is just another way for them to let this eat at the people that it really did get to

the main thing i think should be done though is this thread removed so the debate can die out with us all sitting here debating it and crying about it and fighting about it and this person is probly sitting back having a good laugh at their handy work i mean we are only keeping the pot stirring by talking about it make a page and update it when there is more news to tell but alls you are doig now is letting this person know just how much they derailed you and emotionally hurt you ....... you really think they are sitting back feeling bad about it ? no like any other terrorist they are sitting back watching you all dig threw the rubble of the after math they left behind

Sakura

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Guest CharlieRose

I dunno... I had a friend a few years back who was a compulsive liar. She would tell me all sorts of horrible things that were happening to her, how her mother hated her and was emotionally abusive, her old friends hated her and made fun of her, her teacher hated her and would give her poor grades on assignments and truancies for no reason at all and there was nothing she could do about it, when really her mother and friends felt no animosity, just mild [reasonable] frustration with her behavior, and her teacher was giving her truancies because she was never in class... Played with my emotions, that's for sure, goodness knows how many worries were wasted on her fabrications, but she wasn't doing it to be malicious, she wasn't doing it to hurt me. I think she just wanted to hear me say that I was her friend and I cared about her, and she didn't know how else to get me to say it. It was a very sad situation.

That was when we were about thirteen or fourteen, true, this person may be significantly older but just as lost. My friend got better, she's a great person now and we're still friends. (I stopped hanging out with her for a couple years when I found out how much she lied, though) It's sad, very sad, but better being desperately starved for attention than dead.

As far as this reflection on the community, it happened, we can't turn back time. We're acknowledging we made a mistake, apologizing, and planning to be more careful in the future. That's the best we can do.

And, yes, whoever said it before, the reason we all were struck so hard by it was because it was so plausible. This does happen. Our emotion wasn't wasted, just misplaced.

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I don't know that there is anything to be gained from just unloading on this person out of blind revenge, but they could be used further as a tool, first it has pulled the trans community more tightly together - the 'common enemy' response and now it can be used as a means of gaining acceptance - yes, acceptance.

Each trial that we have won against the perpetrators of violence against us has increased interest and awareness among the more sensible members of society - perhaps a combination of a criminal suit - we are defending the safety and ethical use of the Internet (parents everywhere would be for that) and then a civil suit brought for the collective emotional suffering could be brought to light, letting the world know that we are people and have the same feelings and weaknesses.

We can use this hoax as a means of furthering our cause for equal rights under the law if we do it very carefully.

I am not interested in punishing this person for the sake of feeling vindicated - I do not want a repeat of this behavior on some other site to some other minority group but just punishing them serves me no real purpose, I can't have back the tears and the heartache and the sleep that I lost - nor would I expect to, just don't let them do it again and make the punishment something that is tangible and serve as a deterrent, money means so much to everybody - how about paying restitution for the thousands of man hours that were wasted trying to find them and the amazing amount of hours spent by all of the administration and members here and other sites around the world trying to comfort each other and find the truth - maybe if they risk their own money and all of the money that they have yet to earn they might not find it so much fun - that's how the music pirating cases have significantly cut down on illegal down loads - this person doesn't care how much they hurt us nor does anyone else who does this sort of thing - but they all care about money - take a lump sum and a percentage of everything that they make for the rest of their lives and they will take notice.

Just the way that I would deal with it but I am not in law enforcement or the legal system so I don't know if that would be possible or if taking part of your salary forever is reserved for the IRS.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Christina Engela

Hi all,

I just posted this on my blog : http://christinaengela.blogspot.com/

"Shuffling A Pack Of Lies

On Friday I recieved notification that a hate crime had taken place in a small town in New York State. Rachel Roo, an 18 year old teen mentor on a popular transgender forum had been brutally murdered.

It was reported that Rachel who had transitioned quite young, had been involved in a car accident in which her mother had lost an arm. Upon testifying in court, the lawyer for the opposing party outed her - apparently her townsfolk did not take kindly to this revalation and she and her family now faced numerous death threats on a daily basis. It was reported that while riding to a nearby store on Friday evening, she disappeared. Her bicycle was found in a dumpster and some hours later she had been found lying at the side of the road. She was reported to have been gang-raped, and so badly assaulted that even her knee caps had been shattered by what was assumed to have been a sledgehammer. Apparently she was supposed to have been left for dead in a shallow grave, but supposedly managed to crawl out and towards the roadway, and collapsed where she was later found. She was taken to ICU where she died in the early hours of the next morning.

Like many others around the world, I was incensed on reading this, not to mention upset. Quite honestly I was shattered. I felt that I had lost somebody I had known and it actually brought tears to my eyes. After all, hate crimes like this are the reason I became an activist for gay and trans rights.

Imagine my shock and disappointment upon finding out that it was all a lie.

Not that I was sorry Rachel hadn't died in such a horrible way, but that I had been scammed and that I had helped the sycophant who started this travesty to spread news of it around the world. I had relayed the urls of the reports to friends and activism contacts in the UK and US - and even in New Zealand and Australia.

Somebody had a pretty good laugh at our expense.

It seems the people who actually knew the "victim" were also scammed and are very upset about this matter indeed. The source of this false alarm was a blog post by an esteemed and award winning blogger who is a prominent member of a US transgender support forum. It seems she was as misled as the rest of us were.

The reported victim was a youth mentor on the same forum who had a great reputation and had helped many troubled trans teens through difficult patches with her advice and tutelage.

It was claimed by a "family member" of a teen post op trans in New York that she had been murdered in a savage and brutal hate crime. This has subsequently been proved false - meanwhile this horrific untruth has spread around the world in less than 24 hours. I assume it is in our nature to believe the worst news, and especially in a group such as ours which is used to hearing such things about our community being targeted in hate crimes. We are also, I assume, outraged easily because this "victim" was a young person who represents what all of us view as the ideal of transition and the core of what being transgender means.

What makes it easy to believe is that it has happened so often in the past - there are numerous examples, including most recently in the US, Angie Zapata and here in SA there have been recent examples such as the Zulu trans woman who was murdered for asking a man to not call her "a queer".

Reports of this fictitious hate-crime have reached around the world as people from nearly every country posted on that forum to show solidarity and empathy. Understandably, that forum and its Admins are now very embarrassed.

I however see no reason for the ordinary people out there who showed sympathy and outrage to be embarrassed.

We are people, and we were led to believe that one of our own had been for all intents and purposes, butchered - and we reacted like people. If anything, it showed the world (and especially the bigots) that we are people, just like they are. That we have hearts just as they do. And that we have teeth and claws too.

I assume the only people laughing at our expense are the individuals behind this outrageous deception.

Whoever would do something like this has to be sick enough to realize how much damage they can do to the trans community by having them in effect "cry wolf". In the past, detractors of the pink community have often used such hoaxes to support their claim that ALL our references to hate crime are in fact "hoaxes".

Regardless of all the negatives, it was heart-warming to watch how the trans community around the globe rallied to show their horror, sorrow and support for somebody they never knew personally. It is also something of a relief that this never really happened and that this person did not suffer so horribly for the "crime" of being transgender.

Among the few positives, we can consider this: Some gay and trans rights activists who had retired from active service in the community, or who had become jaded or complacent, were spurred back into action again by this tragic scenario. The lies of the enemy have made us stronger and wiser.

Even if false, this brutal shock has helped to make the voice against transphobia, homophobia - and hate crime - that much stronger."

Christina Engela

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Guest Darlie
ithere would be no point in bringing her here and asking here why because the onlything you are going to get out of them is more lies i mean they carried on with a lie for over a year there is no reason for them to tell the truth now and keeping it all one big mystery is just another way for them to let this eat at the people that it really did get to

Sakura

More lies ? And the point would be ? This person , I think, was lonely, they got into the community, made friends and a life and then felt the only clean exit was a well planned death. It wasn't to insult anyone, I think to be honest they tried to destroy the person they had created rather than destroy people by being discovered a fraud. In my experience bigots want to have you know they are humiliating you, they don't try and hide it .

the main thing i think should be done though is this thread removed so the debate can die out with us all sitting here debating it and crying about it and fighting about it and this person is probly sitting back having a good laugh at their handy work

No one is crying any more but the future is not without tears . Within a day it was stopped, no one built monuments or set themselves on fire to protest , luckily. It's just my opinion but I doubt they are , what say we find out ?

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Guest Darlie
We can use this hoax as a means of furthering our cause for equal rights under the law if we do it very carefully.

Sally

A woman after my own heart. Well said.

Dars

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We've been caught in two public hoax stories of "The boy who cried wolf" stories in 5 years. In both cases they were trusted people who had been here a year or more. New people usually undergo more scrutiny. What scammer has the patience to wait a year? The natural tendancy is to never believe anyone again. If that happens those two win and support for others who need it dies. Yes there were two hoax's but what about the thousands who are not who have been helped here? Withdrawing from others isn't the answer. Supporting each other is. I am extremly proud of the support you all show each other here. Please don't change that. Besides whose going to support us if we don't support ourselves.

Laura

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Guest Darlie

Exactly Laura, it's what they want , to dissipate our energy and we should not give it to them . If you do they win and all they have to do is press the right buttons and we fold. I say do the unexpected , push harder and here is why .

http://news10now.com/?ArID=129243

Right now Latiesha Green's murderer is going on trial and not a word in the media. We need to change that. We need her name to be made right. She was not Moses Cannon , she was Latiesha Green and she identified transsexual .

http://www.syracuse.com/poststandard/stori....xml&coll=1

There are thousands of real Rachel's out there and we cannot let them suffer for this. I would rather be hurt than dismiss someone in need. I can take that pain. I vote the thread stays and we turn it to the real TS murders that DO happen.

Darlie

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My further opinions on the mysterious Raychel Roo...

I wont name anyone, but a credible and long-time admin on the site has had extensive contact with Raychel, including phone chats with her and her mom. I don't know how to piece that together, but the admin which shall be unnamed wouldn't lie about something like that and is currently researching the matter further. Unfortunately, this admin was the only person to have such contact with Raychel.

Someone brought up the idea that the person who said they were Raychel could pull off different voices. This seems sort of far fetched, but it could be true. Also, Raychel could actually have existed and was actually murdered, which I hope isn't the truth. I mean, she came into the chatroom about a year ago and wanted advice from other TG people on how to handle a certain situation having to do with moving to a new area in order to escape from violence from her own family because of her being Transsexual. She also was post-op by then and wanted advice on certain post-op TS issues. Over time she became attached to the site, like many others do, and came to chat there more and more. Because of her talent in helping with others' issues, her great personality, and her ability to relate well and gain trust with those close to her age(17 at the time) she was asked to become a Teen Mentor moderator, which is a moderator whom is usually under the age of 21 and who helps other teens or young adults with TG or related issues. She was considered a great moderator and was looked up to by many for having such courage to live as her preferred gender despite having been through so much violence and hate aimed towards her. Since she had transitioned and had surgery at such a young age, she was seen as a perfect mentor for all the other M2F TG people who came into the chatroom. She was also respected for her keeping such a professional attitude after her dad had died in a car accident and her mother lost her arm in the same accident, as well as for dealing with her town's negative reaction to her being TG after she was outed at a court case in which she was fighting an insurance company for her fathers life insurance money. All of these stories caused an outpour of compassion and pity for her. If these stories aren't real, they do support the idea that she made them up in order to get attention and pity. If they are real and she is real, including the murder, I feel very bad for her and will miss her forever.

If the life of Raychel is a lie, why would someone keep up a lie like this for a year and go to the trouble of coming up with support for all the stories and impersonating supposed relatives both online and on the phone, as well as being a dedicated Teen Mentor and a friend to many on and off Lauras-Playground? If Raychel is real, then why would all information about her and her murder being withheld by the family, according to Raychel's aunt, whom was the one to come onto the chatroom to let us know of the murder and later denied to give any information on an obituary or anything else related to the death. According to the mod who had most contact with Raychel and her family, mentioned above and who shall not be named, Raychel's mother requests that no information be released about Raychel. New York city public records show no record of an 18 year old girl, mentioned as TG or not, murdered at that date (june 16th) or in that area. There are also no record of a Raychel being accepted into Juliard school of dance this year of which Raychel always was proud to share with everyone. She was known to be a very talented dancer, despite her having to go through extensive healing and physical therapy after being beaten almost to death 2 years previously. Correspondence with Raychel's mother, through the admin which knew Raychel best, indicates that the family requested that all information about Raychel be kept withheld, including in the city public records and in the Juliard school records. All of this may be true, but I must admit that it is very unlikely that this would happen. Though, still, after all the supposed tragedies that Raychel and her family went through, the withholding of all information could just be true. Also, a head admin at Lauras-Playground checked Raychel’s IP address from previous chats and traced it to Little Rock, Arkansas, which is not where Raychel said she lived. This IP address also supposedly matches an IP address in the site records which was related to a chatroom mod from years back who had also faked his/her death with the help of his/her girlfriend. All of this is still being looked into and there is no definate truth either way , though the evidence so far seems to point in the direction that Raychel did indeed fake her death and lied about most of the stories about her life.

I hope that all of this isn't true and that no one was actually raped and murdered, but deepdown, I also wish that Raychel was whom she said she was actually the awesomely brave Trans girl who had bravely fought against so much hate and violence and who had also overcome such a horrible hate crime injury in order to not only walk again but to dance again and actually make it into the prestigious Juliard School of Dance. All I truly know is that Raychel was a good friend. I only knew her online, but she was such a nice and extremely smart person who was able to help so many people with TG issues and depression. She even helped helped save a few lives in crisis suicide prevention situations. Whether the many stories Raychel told were true or not, she was a very great person and I will always remember the good things she had done and all the people she had helped.

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Guest S. Chrissie

Amen mezzi, she was a very great person.

Some of us staff at the chatroom have done investigations and sleuthing of our own, especially the admin that Mezzi talked about. We dug up lots of information and I do think we managed to piece the puzzle together. The findings has all been sent to the chatroom directors and they will forward them to Laura.

I do think Laura will issue an official explanation in due time, if she finds the findings relevant and concrete enough. In the mean time, I do belive we have found a fitting closure to the mystery.

In the end, I still say that, I do not blame Raychel, she was a great person, even though she was made-up. The person that is to blame is the creator of this character and I'd rather call that person "Roo's creator" rather than calling the person "Roo" or "Raychel", the creator created Roo, but saying that both of them are one and the same seems like a mocking to Roo and whatever she stood for, at least in the eyes of those that knew her. That's how I see it anyway.

Sherlyn

"The pressure of public opinion can do in the town what the law cannot accomplish. There is no lane so vile that the scream of a tortured child, or the thud of a drunkard's blow, does not beget sympathy and indignation among the neighbors, and then the whole machinery of justice is ever so close that a word of complaint can set it going, and there is but a step between the crime and the dock. But look at these lonely houses, each in its own fields, filled for the most part with poor ignorant folk who know little of the law. Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser."-Sherlock Holmes, in The Adventure of The Copper Beeches

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there are much cleaner ways to exit with out tearing some ones emotions apart simpley log out change emails and never log in again i see it all the time on lauras people move on never tell any one a thing just disapear one day never to be heard of a gain

and even if she wanted to kill her self off in the eyes of the site she could been hit by a bus ? or a gas leak or something instead she invents this sexually charged super violent over dramatic way to die complete with a fare well letter that seems to only sever the purpose of raising the drama for the ones that cared about her and getting the last burn in on the ones she obviously had some transgressions with and from all the things that i have been show and seen thus far she wasnt even TG she was a 33 year old genetic female

so the way i see it was just another bigot making fun of us and what we do

Sakura

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Guest S. Chrissie

I thought she was intersexed? Well, she's a fictional writer after all.......grrr..... :angry:

Almost drove some of us over the edge, I hope she gets reported for fraud. Hoax makes it sound like a harmless prank and that's too simple.

Sherlyn

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Guest Madison_Always

Honestly,

I just want everyone to leave us alone...whatever time to move on I suppose. Anyway sounds like roo's creator will be bored during the teen chat meetings from now on :)

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Guest Zoe Brain
I thought she was intersexed? Well, she's a fictional writer after all.......grrr..... :angry:

Was Edeyn Hannah Blackeney by any chance, aka Aunt Edeyn? Just a conjecture...

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Guest KathrynW
Oh She's been found thanks with help from the Transgender Community. Many organizations and activists are helping out behind the scenes. Actually the Community has come together over this with plenty of support. I no longer feel like we're an island here. Legal and MANY other options are being weighed. The whole idea is to form a united overwhelming response that serves as a deterrent to others in the future. Dare I ask what people would like to see happen to her? Keep it legal and practical. Also bear in mind this person may or may not be a teen. If not the gloves are off.

Laura

I am new hear, actually drawn in my this whole fiasco. To be honest, why waste our time and energy on this person, I hear people asking for her to be punished for fraud, and other things. Realistically, there is not much that can be done if anything. This person wants attention, and continuing to pursue anything gives that person the attention they are after. Let the whole thing die, just like the fictional character that this person created. Yes, I imagine that this is difficult for those who got to "Know her," and those people do need to address their feelings. The feelings are normal and valid. Revenge, retribution, punishment, or any of those other things may sound nice, but really, this community needs to stand up and take the high road. We don't need to resort to the kind of threat mentality that was seen with the recent KRXQ incident in California. When we resort to threats of any kind we only diminish our cause in the eyes of others.

What can we do in the future to prevent something like this? I'm not sure there is an answer. We do not want to turn away those who need support in the name of trying to prevent future hoaxes, but this is the internet and, no matter how comfortable we all are on the internet, we still need to be mindful of internet safety. We also need to make sure we are actually paying attention to what we are reading. If something seems wrong or outlandish, then maybe it needs a second look before getting emotionally involved. My personal safety is my first priority, you need to make it yours too. People pretend to be things they are not on the internet so that they can gain trust and hurt others. I am only glad that this person did not arrange meetings with members of the forum and cause physical harm to anyone.

Other than that, I think we just need to move on. Let this end. Don't send hate mail or attacking messages to this person. Don't give them the attention they are seeking. Let's focus on those in our community who actually need help and support.

Kathryn

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Other than that, I think we just need to move on. Let this end. Don't send hate mail or attacking messages to this person. Don't give them the attention they are seeking. Let's focus on those in our community who actually need help and support.

Kathryn

I agree. While there are plenty of things that can be done it takes time and effort away from those who truly need our help. Our attention should be turned to those that deserve it. I work on this site and with users and staff from waking to sleeping. There is much to be done in the community. For the last few days though all attention has been on this matter. Sure we learned a lot but at what cost? As of today my attention is back where it should be, supporting our users who need us. It's time to turn away from things that didn't happen to those real incidents that happen every day here. Our suicide prevention crisis rooms were as full as ever. That's what we need to give our full attention to, not on an author looking for publicity who tried to distract us from our real mission.

Laura

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Guest Tamara Croft
Sure we learned a lot but at what cost?

The cost of bringing a community together? Look how many members joined up to pay their respects, even if it was a hoax, we're still here :D I'd say, the cost was invaluable, don't you think?

This sort of thing happens all the time, happened to me a few years ago, I won't bore you with details, but it was a close friendship, faked her death etc etc... it hurt, these things do hurt, but in time, we heal, which is what you'll do here. *hugs*

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Guest Tess-Leigh
I hope she gets reported for fraud. Hoax makes it sound like a harmless prank and that's too simple.

"Fraud" would require "obtaining a thing through false pretenses". Possibily individual members might have situations where she obtained something of value from them.

The major case in such a situation would be up to Laura to decide whether 'Roo' obtained valuable access to this system through false pretenses. Having just recently gone through the application process myself, I see that Laura's system really asks very little in the application, and that the system is open to "supporters", and "researchers", so probably if Roo had signed up as herself, she would have been granted an account... thus IMHO, the obtaining of the account itself is a case too weak to stand. However, being appointed a 'moderator' is a "thing of value" and that was through deception, so Laura could probably make a case on that. But given the state of the current US legal system, Laura would (if she cared to persue the matter) probably find a site Terms and Conditions that 'Roo' violated, and then use the recent precident that violating T&C constitutes "exceeding authorized access" for the purpose of the US Computer Fraud and Abuse Statutes.

My opinion: if 'Roo' did not obtain access to information beyond that which would be available to other users, then probably none of the above are likely to have any real success.

For a case of this nature, the most appropriate avenue to persue would, I think, be "Public Mischief" or the equivalent. Which (with all due respect to Laura) is something that could be pressed (that is, a complaint to a prosecuter with appropriate jurisdiction) by anyone who was affected by this hoax -- e.g., by anyone who sat and cried, or became frightened that such a thing might happen to them, or who lost work or went home early "sick" after hearing of the "crime".

=====

There have been mentions here of a fare-well letter, and hints that this has been tracked to a specific individual. For my own understanding of what actually happened (and also so that I can send out appropriate retractions/amendments to those affected by -my- having been one of the people who passed this story on), I would appreciate if someone could PM me the appropriate links to these things. (Or, if the information is already available on this site, point me to the appropriate topics.)

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Guest Darlie
and even if she wanted to kill her self off in the eyes of the site she could been hit by a bus ? or a gas leak or something instead she invents this sexually charged super violent over dramatic way to die complete with a fare well letter that seems to only sever the purpose of raising the drama for the ones that cared about her and getting the last burn in on the ones she obviously had some transgressions with and from all the things that i have been show and seen thus far she wasnt even TG she was a 33 year old genetic female

I haven't seen the evidence. I'm not sure why she did it this way. More , I am totally confused why she helped people and mentored and did crisis work. It makes no sense whatsoever only , maybe it was kind of a desire to have solidarity woth the women who have been murdered. We woll never know till we know who and where she is. Laura, are you ever going to release that ?

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Guest Tess-Leigh
We woll never know till we know who and where she is. Laura, are you ever going to release that ?

As long as legal action is being considered, a legal counsel would -probably- advise against releasing that information. And if Laura did post the information without air-tight proof that it was that specific person (and not, say, someone highjacking their internet connection, or a different person in the same household), then Laura would risk a substantial libel law-suit.

In a similar vein: I have seen some of the pinned postings warning about predators and child pornographers. I understand the desire to protect the users (especially the teen users), but naming names is a substantial legal risk (from a libel standpoint) unless the person already has a registered conviction against them. Safer would be to soften the wording with something like "We have checked through sources we trust, and it is believed that..."

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As a friend tells me just because you can do something doesn't mean that you should. The pros and cons have to be taken into account. The matter is being looked into by legal experts who will advise me and that will take some time. So I need to play the cards close to my vest for now. Is action possible? Sure! If the damage were physical my path would be clear. There's more to consider though besides me. and this site would it really help the Transgender Community? My sense is no. It could have the opposite effect. In addition it would take much of my time away from here where I can do the most good. For now just be patient as there is a lot going on behind the scenes I can't yet reveal.

Laura

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HMMMMM.

Cait doesn't think this is very funny at all.

in fact, it isn't funny.

someone , somewhere pranked us.

what's so funny about hurting one of us?

that's why more and more i just associate with people like myself.

this isn't very amusing at all, and it's been in my mind, and in my journal.

I say that maybe, to up the security around here?

i'm an adult and willing to give my name and information to a moderator,

especially if i can avoid this type of stuff.

People come up here for support, often with no where else to go!!!

Cait

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  • Posts

    • April Marie
      I so very much enjoy your posts. This one, though, hit home with me for many reasons. I was commissioned in the Army in '77, as well. Like you, I was not overly masculine in the way that many of our contemporaries were. I (still do) cried at weddings, pictures of puppies and babies, when I talked about bring proud of what my units accomplished and was never the Type A leader. In the end, it worked for me and I had a successful career.   This is, of course, your story not mine so I won't detail my struggle. It just took me much longer to understand what the underlying cause of my feelings was and even more to admit it. To act on it.    Thank you for sharing your story, Sally.
    • Sally Stone
      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving.  It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party.  I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl.  After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity.  Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic.  Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume.  But that didn’t appeal to me at all.  I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could.   To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party.  In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes.  Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did.  But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called.  Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices.  Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it.   And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring.  I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia.  I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group).  I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta.  I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined.   Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down.  The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star.  The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time.  It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom.   I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta).  Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several.  One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening.  When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers.  I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend.   During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding.  Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile.  It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there.  First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen.  On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar.  In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception.  Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel.  Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times).    My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition.  I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out.  I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety.  It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another.  I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression.  My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings.    Hugs, Sally
    • Sally Stone
      Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening.  Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side.  And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://apnews.com/article/title-ix-sexual-assault-transgender-sports-d0fc0ab7515de02b8e4403d0481dc1e7   The revised regulations don't touch on trans athletes; which I totally understand, as that's become a third rail issue and this is an election year.  But the other changes seem pretty sensible, and will obviously result in immediate right wing lawsuits.   Carolyn Marie
    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
    • Carolyn Marie
      Very well said, @Abigail Genevieve, and very true.  Thank you.   Carolyn Marie
    • Susan R
      Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!!   Trans Group Zoom Meeting Times: April 20, 2024 6:00 PM Pacific Time April 20, 2024 8:00 PM Central Time April 21, 2024 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   Message me for the meeting link if you’d like to attend.   *Hugs* Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      They may win a few battles but not the war! as @Davie pointed out there is little truth if it full of lies, inconsistencies, and ignores evidence to the contrary. I saw this article earlier and have to agree here. Truth will win. This isn’t the first time this tactic has been tried. Always stick with the truth!
    • Susan R
      Welcome @violet r! Glad you joined our forum and got through the hardest part…that first post. As many have mentioned, we are more than accepting here as we affirm your gender identity and hold no judgement, whatsoever. There’s so much here on this forum, I think you’ll find very helpful. If you have trouble finding an answer just reach out, try the search but starting a new thread is usually best to get some quick answers. Many are here for various transgender related issues but many, if not all, are here to help one another if we can. It’s great to have you onboard.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together
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