Could It Just Be Denial/whatever

[Guest Ryles_D]

Forewarning: I'm not saying ANYTHING about everyone in a group. This is must about me. I'm also sorry if this is in the wrong place, I think it fits... So, now then, cue angsty back story!

I've never been at all interested in dating. I had a boyfriend for a month or two at the end of my freshman year in highschool because he kept asking me out and I thought I was supposed to want to date, so I decided to give it a go.

I'm not totally sure, but I think he was mentally abusive and sexually. All I know is that I got suicidally depressed while dating him, and get depressed again whenever it comes up. Don't want to kill myself or hurt myself or anything now.

I figure I'm asexual (not interested in sex) and neutrois (genderless. I don't see myself as a cross between the male and female). As much as this makes sense to me, and I think it fit me even before that, I don't really know if it's definitely right.

Is it possible that my feeling like this is just an after-effect of that relationship? That if I found a way to get over how I felt about it I'd feel like a normal girl who likes boys and all that junk? I don't want that to be the case, but could it be?

[Zufrieden]

Hi RDeis:

I think for all of us, it's important to keep an open mind and decide what we want, free from the prejudices and stereotypes

of the outside world and even the transsexual community.

Step 1 (as always): Determine how you feel about your body. How would you like it to be when you are alone? How would you like to present to the outside world?

Step 2: We usually say determine sexual orientation. Well maybe some of us aren't that interested in sex. Let's say romantic orientation instead.

Decide if you'd like to cuddle up on the sofa with somebody. It doesn't have to be sex.

Could this previous relationship have left you in a muddled state? Maybe. Only time and contemplation can tell. Good luck.

Z.

[Guest Ryles_D]

Step 1 (as always): Determine how you feel about your body. How would you like it to be when you are alone? How would you like to present to the outside world?

It always seems like it's not mine. When I look in mirrors, I know the person looking back is me, but it just doesn't seem like that's how I really look. The basics like hair, eye, skin color are all right, but the shape and such seem off. I think in my head I never got too far into puberty, and I'm not really sure how that translates to anything other than a peter pan complex.

Step 2: We usually say determine sexual orientation. Well maybe some of us aren't that interested in sex. Let's say romantic orientation instead.

Decide if you'd like to cuddle up on the sofa with somebody. It doesn't have to be sex.

I know romantically I prefer guys. They're just more fun to hug... ^^; Romantic I'm not worried about so much, it's the sexual thing that catches me up. It seems weird for the fact that I seem to write sexually promiscuous people but aren't interested in sex myself. And I know you can write murders without wanting to hurt anyone, but it seems really weird.

Thanks.

-RD