Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Female Voice


Guest Elizabeth K

Recommended Posts

Guest Elizabeth K

Voice

This is an MTF presentation - sorry guys, you have the advantage of response to the “T” and we don’t have the same effects with our HRT. We have to ‘earn’ our new female voice’ and it is one of the most difficult parts of transition for MTF.

This is dedicated to Eth – my girlfriend and sister who asked me about it in the first place.

I want to be clear - I have been working on my voice for about six months. I had virtually no success at first. I wanted to give up but I kept at it because all those who have successfully managed to find a female voice have recommended never giving up – that their success was based upon practice practice practice. So I have to make that my first recommendation: practice!

Secondly, my success is not that spectacular! I am now able to barely pass with it, and I have a long way to go. Without other cues (on the telephone) I can now pass. I think that is the first step. I feel that once we pass on the telephone we are halfway toward a successful female voice. So my second recommendation is work until you get to the point you can pass on the telephone. It took me about four months. I am still not that good, all the time, but I can get a ‘ma’m’ on the phone most times, if people don’t know me, and that is a wonderful thing.

And my final confession? I don’t know if I will ever be one hundred percent successful, but I have high hopes. My voice never that deep to start and I had a soft tone already, but it was always masculine enough to playact male just fine. Some of you may have a deep voice or a loud resonance, and may have to work harder. But, some of you younger people are closer to your voice as a child, and should have that advantage. We older transpeople have a lot to relearn, as our muscles used in our earlier life have somewhat shrunken away. And that is my third recommendation – understand that you already have the structures you need in your throat, you have just not used them after your voice changed in puberty.

Okay, I hear that first question already, what book, DVD or CD can I use? Is there a site on the Internet? I have found booklets, but never a book.

I haven’t researched everything, but I did talk with some post op friends, and I did some Googling. That is something you may want to do, the Googling I mean. Anyway, there are speech coaches you can hire. I don’t have that option as I can barely afford therapy and HRT. My friend Veronica used a speech coach and my voice is as good as hers.

BUT most people I know recommended videos and CDs. There are many out there and I can only say you need to evaluate what might work best for you. I commute to work and can spend an hour a day each way with a CD. Some of you may not have that advantage or may have to be more cautious with your choices because you are not out. Or you may not have the funds.

There are Internet sites that help. Also YouTube is a wonderful source. To be honest, the sites you visit can be rather discouraging sometimes because the voices of the transwomen are so PERFECT – Auggggggh. But remember they are usually success stories because they have practiced practiced practiced! And most are living full time and are transitioned, so they ‘live’ their voice. We beginners are having to just find time to work on our voices, and have to fit it in when we can. But as I said, I have high hopes I can eventually sound as feminine and wonderful as those beautiful ladies do… I have those hopes, and you must also.

So the two CDs I use are Stealth Productions, Finding Your Female Voice, and Melaine Speaks. They are somewhat different, but I think they compliment each other. They helped me tremendously. What I write here has a lot of basis in these two CDs and their approaches to learning a female voice. They have to be purchased but both have a site on the Internet that gives a tremendous amount of information. I don’t use the DVDs so I cannot comment on that part. But I will explain the CDs – which is where you generally have a guide to practice with, comparing your voice to theirs. And if you cannot afford these CD, hopefully what I write here will work anyway.

Stealth Productions

This presentation uses exercises to find that place in your voice system (vocal chords, voice box, nasal passages and such – mainly controlled by a musculature) – the place where the female voice can reside. It’s a difficult process, and I had a difficult time getting an understanding until I made two discoveries that aren’t really explained in the Stealth Productions version. One is used in Melaine Speaks, the other was advice from my therapist. First, a woman’s voice is a step just below a male falsetto. Secondly, if you can sing in a range, you can learn to speak in that range.

Stealth Productions uses what they call a ‘pinched’ voice, then a ‘hushed’ voice. The practice is at first going from pinched to hushed without a pause. This actually forces you to use muscles you forgot you had in your throat, the one that you use when you clear your throat, the ones you use to expectorate, the ones you use to cough in a high tone. Practice will get you there (took me about two months) then it’s practice to develop these muscles. They are high and in the back of your throat. They DO NOT work from your vocal chords, but rather from the reshaping of your voice box. If done correctly, there will be NO vibration in your throat (resonance) as it will all be up higher (range).

Stealth also shows you how to up your range. The female and male voices overlap in range. Most MTF transpeople can master the speaking in this shared zone – and it works fairly well when other techniques are used, such as female intonation and speaking patterns, which will be discussed farther down.

BUT to have a better in a female voice, it works best to increase your upper range. Stealth has exercises to do that and call it ‘reaching your break.” Mine isn’t that high and compared to the instructor I cannot go the last six notes she can accomplish. But it was originally the last eight and I am approaching getting it down to five, four in a whisper. Yeaaaa

It’s simple. Just use a musical scale. Don’t worry about the lower range, but constantly work on the top notes. If you can get your muscles trained, you can reach these higher notes. And it is SLOW progress.

BUT - and this is a real help, Stealth doesn’t mention this - singing – find a song that borders on the range you want and sing it over and over and over until you can get ‘clear’ and melodious results on the hard to reach upper notes. And singing is not going to out you. And sing using only the air in you chest – never in your diaphram. The female voice uses much less air, is much more breathy - and volume comes from screaming out not bellowing out, and that seems strange, but practice it. Speak as loud as you can with no real air coming out, that’s a good way to practice.

So sing for hours as high and as clear as you can. Exercise the muscles. Try everything you can to change the sound and tone, until you start to find some really feminine voice sounds in the results. Then focus on those muscles that produce that effect. If it hurts at first, you are probably doing it correctly. Be careful not to over-train, though.

After you get accustomed to singing, find female singers you can sing with - those not out of your range - and practice by imitating them. Listen VERY carefully how they express their vowel sounds, their ‘esses’ and ‘tees.’ The female voice is very different in just the simplest things . Here is a listing:

Lilting at the end of sentences: almost always ending in a question? Women are asking for agreement. Men are stating a fact. Just think to yourself, ‘don’t you agree?” after every sentence, then you have it. NEVER use the, ‘ and that’s the way it is!” attitude.

Singing instead of talking: a woman actually sings her sentences, and uses inflection almost on every syllable, much less every word?

Enunciation: a woman pronounces every letter that is used, never slurring. This is a ‘conciseness’ that is very hard for males to use. Try talking in a concise manner in a male voice and you will NOT be accepted by other males, because it seems ‘prissy.’

Key letters: enunciation is especially exaggerated wit certain letteses, ‘s’ and ‘t’ are wondrous in a woman’s vocabulary, almost hissing and spitting. ‘e’ is almost always ‘ea’ and ‘z’ and ‘x’ are zzz and ecsckk, extremely exaggerated. Learn each letter used in a feminine speech pattern, and you will know how to have a female voice.

Emphasis: feminine speech almost omits the first letter and hits hard on the last letter.

Take ‘emphasis’ for example, it is almost pronounced m-PHAA-ssiss.. “Administration” is ‘ahdd-min-izzz-TRA-shunnn’ so be almost whisper soft at the front and change to a hard hit at the end on every word. It takes practice, but it helps to think about almost doubling the letter at each world.

Abbreviation: It’s not a hard and fast rule, but NOT using abbreviations will feminize your speech. “It’s” becomes “It is” for example. All the ‘n’t’ terms are changed to ‘not’ – ‘don’t’ is ‘do not’ for example. Again, using this precise language would get you in trouble with a male crowd, but would not even be noticed in a group of women..

So be prissy – just a touch – not lisping, just exact.

Vocabulary: this one is big! Listen to words women use that men don’t, and listen the other way as well. Certain words interchange of course and sometimes a person’s education and intelligence plays a part. BUT there are really two worlds of speaking out there.

Swearing: just don’t do it. It is not an attractive feature of either gender’s speech, but is especially horrible for a woman’s image. It makes you seem to be wanting to be ‘one of the guys.’ And that does not work.

Rules of conversation: women and men have different rules when speaking in a group. There are books on that that actually. I can’t even start to go into much detail here.

Some generalities? Women speak as if in a conspiracy when with women. A single woman in a crown of men will usually defer to the males, but when she speaks the men will shut up suddenly, or they will ignore her. A man in a group of women will usually quell the women’s conversation into generalities. A group of all men speaking is full of competition, and a pecking order usually emerges. In a group of women if a pecking order emerges, the conversation will usually break up. Women almost always want to encourage conversation, men want to dominate it.

And the list is endless. It is best to watch and learn

It is possible to be accepted into an all women’s group, such as a lunch group, by following their rules and by imitating their patterns. You must never be condescending or try to speak on topics you know nothing about. At first you will appear as a surprise, but if you do it right they will shrug and just keep going, with you included. This is great fun and great practice, and has little to do with voice and everything to do with technique.

All that said is not necessarily from the Stealth Productions CD. But Stealth does advise that you learn a range, perfect it, and practice practice practice. One of my favorite recommendations is they say to read out loud in your female voice. Although not especially practical in an automobile, if you have a child or grandchild, reading to them is great practice as you can do the voices of the characters.

Melaine Speaks

This CD is much different. Melaine herself narrates and explains how she developed her feminine voice, and it is a great voice. She is a great ‘character’ imitator - always using ‘cartoon’ voices her whole life. A vigorous use of falsetto and exaggeration in speech will put you in a position where you find those muscles I was describing in the Stealth exercises. And this is a shortcut of sorts if you already have the ability to do Mickey or Minnie or other characters. Like I mentioned, the female range is just under the male falsetto.

And Melaine Speaks also goes into much detail on how the female voice can be modified for the situation, and gives a tremendous amount of information on feminine speech patterns. Actually, in this method, even if your female voice range is limited, you can still pass on your patterns of speaking, And considering the diversity of people in the real world, there are many deep voiced women out there.

To pass in society, it takes cues. Voice is a major cue for us MTF transsexuals in transition or just living full time. It is do-able.

That is my experience and I hope this helps. Don’t forget to practice. It takes at least two years for most of us to gain a good, consistent, believable…

FEMALE VOICE.

Link to comment
  • Replies 62
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Jackie C.

    6

  • Tessa

    3

  • Amanda Thomas

    2

  • ShawnaLeigh

    2

Guest NatalieRene

thank you

I don't know if this is at all possible but maybe sometime the playground could have voice chat rooms where we can practice our voices together, or if there is a teacher amongst us that is willing to do sessions that would be amazing!

Link to comment
Guest B.heard

Just a note from the guys side here...

As MtF your voice doesnt just alter from the hormones this is true but that also means that pre hormones you can be working and perhaps even succeeding in making your voice passable GUYs can not and I see that as your advantage not ours, Im not saying its doesnt take lots of work to form your female voice or that it isnt earned Im sure it is, but Im saying that months before hormones I and many other FtM's do vocal stretching exercises and then on hormones we get sore vocal cords and cracking and need more training to get used to using the deeper voice and not just sound like super camp boys :P

So please dont think we dont 'earn' the voice we get, since we can only really get it after a long fight for hormones and then even then it still takes time, effort, training and pain to grow into something we can pass with.

xxx

Link to comment
Guest Elizabeth K

Oh no! Sorry - I meant NO DISRESPECT to my brothers here. We all EARN everything we do toward transition, regardless of the direction we are going. A better espression is we have to work extra hard to get any results and it usually takes several years - and for a MTF there is no help from the estrogen.

Sorry for any misrepresentation.

Lizzy

Link to comment

Thanks for the post, Lizzy, I've learned quite a bit from it. I do have some questions though.

First, a woman’s voice is a step just below a male falsetto.

I'm not very knowledgable when it comes to music terms. I know falsetto is supposed to be really high pitched and "mickey mouse" sounding, but is it supposed to be the absolute maximum pitch we can reach or does it fall somewhere below the highest?

Also, is a step another music term that has a certain value to aim for or were you just referring to going slightly lower pitched than falsetto?

singing – find a song that borders on the range you want and sing it over and over and over until you can get ‘clear’ and melodious results on the hard to reach upper notes.

Do you (anyone) have any tips on this? I have no idea what my range is or how to find the range of a song. I think it relates to the keys on a piano, but don't really know any details on it.

Link to comment

When it comes to finding a song or artist to sing along with avoid anything that Christine sings in Phatom of the Opera - written for an amazing upper range.

I would go back to some older recordings and listen to Caren Carpenter - amazingly sexy low range woman's voice.

Also slower songs and easier to sing along with http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKHWUYT_c3g nd http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAg1rglAovs&NR=1 are a couple of good examples - listen to the low notes, beautiful sound and so much more realistic than Minnie Mouse - also attainable.

Sadly she went from being the sort of tomboy who tagged along with brother Richard to the point of learning to play the drums just to be in the band all the way to falling into the Celebrity trap and dying from Anorexia.

Also listen to the Cadillac commercials, the woman who says "trying on a new car is like trying on a dress ---" what a wonderful breathy low voice, Kathleen Turner - check out Romancing the Stone - there are people far too young on this site for one of her most famous.

Love ya,

Sally

Link to comment
  • 6 months later...

Thank you for the great ideas and suggestions. I have had the deep stealth dvd and cd for a long time and have only watched it once. There were so many musical references in it I was sort of scared to start following the lessons in earnest. I think this will help me a lot.

:D

Mae

Link to comment

I've researched for months ok years on this, I bought Melaine Speaks, I've watched numerous youtube clips..everything but still no one EVER gives practical exercises to do..I'm amazed by this. My voice is not bad but it still needs those final touches and I plan on using a voice therapist for this.

When I do I will go about writing out just how I went about it WITH THE EXERCISES THAT I USED TO GET ME THERE. Because I feel this is the most important step and most worthwhile bit of information to pass a long to others, it's what stopped me from researching it any further as all the info is the same and it all omits these important points. I'm not sure if deep stealth covers THE exercises but it was too expensive for me to consider.

I hesitate on trying any exercises that I think may help to avoid doing damage or just because I will no doubt do it wrong and waste my time.

A voice therapist is the only thing I feel will help me. Not reading the same info a hundred million times.

Link to comment
Guest nymphblossom

I know how frustrating it can be, Shannon. Deep Stealth has a free on-line brochure at:

http://www.deepstealth.com/freebook

They give very specific phonetic exercises that over the course of several months will begin to develop female resonance.

I started with a low baritone voice, so it has taken alot of practice to develop the muscles in my throat and soft pallet. They atrophy tremendously after puberty. I have been working on my voice for nearly a year and it has only been the last few months I can actually tell the contour of the back of my mouth is changing when I speak. The best way to describe it is that it feels a lot like when I yawn. Learning to decrease the size of the voice box to get to the proper frequency range comes first. Developing the shape of the throat & soft pallet for the proper resonance so you don't sound like Mickey Mouse takes a looong time.

There are several free voice analysis programs available on line. I give an intro on using the software at:

http://www.lauras-playground.com/forums/in...opic=4765&st=20

I think the reason you may not be able to find what you are looking for it because there is such a wide range to the human voice. It is extremely hard to say what is uniquely female or male. An objective voice coach can be a help, but just as when you were developing your male voice when you were a child, it comes down to finding a female voice that is comfortable and feels right for you.

Blossom

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Rukelli

~ Wow! That is quite the wonderful and helpful post! Thank you for the read. =3

I admit I was unaware about the part about abbreviation. Personally I'm now considering learning to get more into what you advised there as my immediate voice goal. Also helpful because it is not something that would out me to my family (not that I really think my parents would care much... they are amazing <3) but could help for the other family members.

Thanks very much for putting so much into that, you are amazing! ^-^ And good luck to everyone!

Rukelli

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Esperanza Xochitl

I'm going to moniter my voice changing with garage band. Once a week I will do a check up on it so to speak. I'm somewhat a perfectionist, so for me good isn't good enough. Some day I want a gorgeous voice that will put Katy Perry to shame. :-)

Link to comment
Guest AshleyRF

Wish I could help with this one. I know how much many of us struggle with our voices. Whenever I talk to other transwomen one of the first questions they usually ask me is "how did you get THAT voice?". I really wish I could say "well, all you have to do it....." but the truth is, I don't know what I did. I never really had a "deep voice" because I never had a normal puberty. I have also always been able to control my voice really well and could mimic other voices easily. People were always amazed at how many impressions I could do of various people and characters.

The only advice I can give is to sing with female singers. I constantly sang with Amy Lee of Evanescence because I just LOVE her.

Hugs

Ash

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
Guest Esperanza Xochitl

Well, I've been monitoring the change of voice on garage band. Inspite of allergies in the most recent one, I've noticed improvement.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...
Guest Wendae

I spent years developing a parade field voice and it is hard to change all that. My voice is so deep that it is difficult to get a good recording of a lecture. Some good advice here for us CD's and I'm having some success.

Link to comment
  • 4 months later...
  • Forum Moderator

There are also some high range male voice ranges that can me learned - Johnny Mathis is one.

Lizzy

Early Geddy Lee from Rush comes to mind - amazing upper range and lyrics.

Just happen to read this post - Good stuff Lizzy - Thanks

Cindy -

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

Yay! My original idea that singing would be a good way to help with this was right. When I get on my own I'll bust out some good old King Diamond and learn to master that fallsetto of supreme justice! :D Then I'll take it a step down with, idk maybe some newer Nightwish.

What I found greatly interesting is the explanation of the difference in speech patterns between the genders. I never really observed the abbreviation thing myself though. But I guess using the abbreviations is just a particular trait amongst the females I'm friends with.

Link to comment
  • 8 months later...
Guest chinee

is there any latest update in the technology of having surgery the voice to make it sound like a female for mtf? I am tired of practicing... I want a voice that i could use anytime that wont require me to pinch my throat... i sound lazy but it would be better if there is already something like this... *praying*

Link to comment
Guest Julie T

Vocal surgeries

While hormone replacement therapy and gender reassignment surgery can cause a more feminine outward appearance, they do little to alter the pitch or sound of the voice. The existing vocal structure can be surgically altered using procedures that include


  • Cricothyroid approximation (CTA) (is the most common)

  • Laryngoplasty

  • Thyrohyoid approximation

  • Laryngeal reduction surgery (surgical shortening of the vocal cords)

  • Laser assisted voice adjustment (LAVA)

There was, until recently, limited evidence as to the efficacy of these surgeries in raising the fundamental frequency over the course of several years. However, since the late 1990s, surgeons performing CTA and other 'voice' procedures at Charing Cross hospital, (Hammersmith, London), have conducted long-term follow-up studies indicating "high" levels of patient satisfaction with both surgical and social health outcomes. All of these modes of 'voice surgery' may or may not have an effect on resonance or other vocal characteristics. ClaudineJ is one trans woman who reports long-term, (12 years+ at 2010), beneficial changes in both pitch, resonance and speech quality from CTA surgery. Many in the transsexual community have previously been led to regard voice surgery as 'inadvisable', while others regard a socially acceptable standard of feminine speech to be indispensable (and further surgery an acceptable risk). Anecdotal evidence has suggested that (CTA) voice surgery can be expected to raise pitch above female norms in the immediate post-operative period (when sutures are used to create the adjusted 'approximation'); however the (more modern) use of titanium clips avoids this problem, maintaining a correct and even tension on the vocal folds, in the immediate and longer term. Of course, laryngeal surgery carries risks and some patients experience 'raspiness', or, much more rarely, complete loss of voice. Deirdre McCloskey is one trans woman who experienced complications from voice surgery.

*******************

Wikipedia - these views are not necessarily my own.

From:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voice_therapy_%28transgender%29

Julie

Link to comment
Guest Lacey Lynne

I spent years developing a parade field voice and it is hard to change all that. My voice is so deep that it is difficult to get a good recording of a lecture. Some good advice here for us CD's and I'm having some success.

Wendae is doing better than me. Never, ever will I be able to successfully do a female voice. Impossible. For 20+ years in my younger days, I was a DJ on the radio (small-time) and was hired specifically BECAUSE of my voice ... and way with words. Heck, women of all ages (and occasionally though rarely some guys!) would call me at the radio stations when I was on night shifts and tell me how they got off to my voice. Sigh.

This voice and this face are the bane of my existence and are WHY I do not pass. Sigh. Oh, well.

May YOU do better with this than me. I'm sure you will. Learn, try, practice ... you'll get there!

Lacey

Wendae:

Dang, girl. Parade voice? Like, were you a drill instructor at Parris Island or something? Just wondering.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   2 Members, 0 Anonymous, 103 Guests (See full list)

    • MaybeRob
    • April Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.6k
    • Total Posts
      767.9k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,014
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Quillian
    Newest Member
    Quillian
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. l.demiurge
      l.demiurge
  • Posts

    • Willow
      Good morning,   I over slept yesterday was a couple minutes late clocking in.  But no breakfast or coffee.  Got caught up but it was go go go all morning.  I had to ask for a refresher on how I was to enter something but once I got a quick answer it came back to me.    @KymmieL sorry Ford didn’t work out.  We are always looking for good reliable people, I could get you a job here but the commute would be rough.  Today I have three audits to get done, plus other things during my shift on top of the regular things.  Since I am opening that puts me in the drivers seat.  The Asst Mgr comes in part way throuh my shift but she will have to handle customers while I do the work she would be doing if she opened. Tail wagging the dog.  Guess she’s getting punished for not following the Mgr’s requests.  They do tend to butt heads a lot.     Butting heads with people is a thing the Asst is known for.   @awkward-yet-sweet do you think just maybe this new graphics request was in the offing?  And why you were asked to go to work with your husband?  Obviously, he cares about you a lot and is trying to do things to help you.   speaking of meeting people @Adrianna Danielle we have a youngish customer who comes in frequently, I’d like to approach her but I’m just not certain yet.  She still dresses male but has long hair and early chest development.  My approach, if I ever decided I should would just be supportive but I really can’t be sure that is what is going on here or what and I would not want to make a big blunder if that’s not what he is doing.  A male with early teen boobs doesn’t want to be noticed.   well, I can’t be late again, I’ve got to leave now.  See you again later for afternoon tea and crumpets or scones. Mmm scones!   lol   Willow
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.nbcnews.com/nbc-out/out-health-and-wellness/scotland-pauses-prescriptions-puberty-blockers-transgender-minors-rcna148366     Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.huffpost.com/entry/a-second-trump-presidency-would-be-a-nightmare-scenario-for-transgender-people_n_661ff9a9e4b07db21fd5d59b     Carolyn Marie
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, HIPAA is basically useless for keeping government out of your medical stuff.  It doesn't seem to prevent employers from making workplace medical demands either.  About the only thing it seems to do is keep somebody's sister or spouse from having the tools necessary to help you when you're in trouble.  As usual, government made things worse and added unhelpful red tape.  I really doubt HIPAA will be any use in the area of trans rights either.    Honestly, I don't see anything good will come of this no matter how it goes.  If some state AG's win on this, it will cause issues for trans folks.  If the Feds win on this, it'll be a precedent to stomp on states' rights even more than has already been done.  And I'm not sure which way things go will make a difference when it comes to officials from one state trying to do nasty things to people who have left that state and gone elsewhere.    What a crap sandwich... and no matter which plate it gets served on, "We The People" get to eat it. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      At least you tried!  Something equivalent or better may come up, and the waiting could be worth it.  Just keep trying and you'll eventually get what you need and want.      For me, having somebody to love was the most important.  Everything else follows after that.  I waited a long time to find somebody...and she ended up leading me to more than I ever thought possible.    Actually, I'm feeling pretty good right now.  I have something work-like outside of my home responsibilities to do for the first time in about 18 months.  Nobody seems to mind the real me.  And this evening, my husband said something that just really made me feel special.  He was rubbing my back, shoulders, and chest while we talked, helping me relax.  He told me that he thought I was really cute in my girl form, but that he thinks my boy form might even be cuter.  And that he's proud of his "smart little Pocket Fox."    For me, the combination of those sweet words and the physical affection was exactly what I needed. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Hi!   That was probably hard to write and then read and say, did I really write that?  Been there.   I'm glad you call it a journey.  It is.  One step at a time, and sometimes two steps forward, one back.    Abby
    • April Marie
      Welcome to the forums, Violet! We glad you found us! No one here will judge you. Each of us is unique yet we all share some similarities. And many of us are in the relative early stages of self-discovery.   Take time to wander the sections of the forums. You’ll find lots of information and ideas.   Ask questions if you feel comfortable. You will find lots of people willing to share their experiences.   Is it possible for you to possibly work with a gender therapist? Many of us have found that to be extremely helpful in finding our identity and out true selves.   Just jump in. We don’t bite! We’ve all been in some version of where you are.
    • April Marie
      Literally. 
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Shameless plug for my "Taylor" story down in Stories You Write.  I am not Taylor and the experiences she goes through are not what has happened to me, but there is an emotional expression that I think is the best way to say some things that I don't know how to say otherwise.  I am not Bob, either.  But you might find out some things about me by reading it.  And I hope it is a good read and you enjoy it.  I am not done with it.  If you would like to comment on it, I would appreciate it.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Tuesday night.  They had a quick supper together at a fast food place.  Bob went off to teach karate and Taylor locked herself inside her apartment and worked on her hiring plan.   First the web site problem.  The two guys who ran it were self-taught and knew little.  It currently had three pages, the Home page, the About page and the Contact page,  She asked them to work with Karen in terms of redesigning it and she needed three designs to show Gibbs tomorrow.  The problem was three fold: the two guys and Karen.  Millville was a small town and all three were relatives of members of the Board.  Millville, Millvale. She was doing it.  People here called it either way, sometimes in the space of a few seconds.  She thought it was Millville.  All three had complained about the work, because the two boys regarded it as done and untouchable, even though they actually had not worked on it at all for months.  Like a number of people, they showed up and collected generous pay checks and did nothing.  She had looked at a number of websites and she had been told the company wanted one both internal and external customers could log into.  Her chief difficulty at the moment there was that there was very little content.  She decided to send the three complainers out tomorrow to take numerous pictures of the thirty acres  Or was it forty?  No one seemed to care. She cared, because she needed to get it right.  She debated outsourcing the website to a company, but first she needed something to outsource, and before then she needed to decide whether to keep these people.  She didn't need to mess with them.  So she decided to recommend they hire an experienced website developer with management skills. Would such a person come to Millville?  The schools were good, because the company had poured money into them, and the streets were well paved.  The company had bought all the abandoned houses and maintained them, hoping someday they would be filled again. Millville was crime-free.  People did not lock their doors. Neighborly. Very conservative, but in a good way.  Hard working, ethical, honest. Maybe the Chinese money was corrupting the town?  Not sure.  So she thought they would hire someone, even if it were a remote position.  She would rather have them here, but she would take what she would get.  That would move the website out of her hair. Secondly, she needed an effective presenter.  She could not do all these presentations herself.  She had natural talent but a lot could be passed on. She needed another Mary and another Brenda, or their understudies, effective hardworking people.   Bob. Was he okay with this?  He said she was Management.  Was that a problem?  And she was now earning a ridiculous salary, which she put down to company dysfunction more than anything she had done.  Was that a problem? She was not sure.  He was highly competitive and he had that male ego.  She did not.  A feeling of guilt rose.   Her therapist had brought up her feelings of guilt about not making Dad's expectations, never being the man Dad wanted her to be.  She never could, and this physical evidence backed that up.  What would the doctor say?  She thought about it, and that her therapist said she needed to find a sexual assault survivor's group more than a transgender group right now. Was there one here?  She thought about serving in a women's shelter.  There was one here, oddly enough connected to the church they had visited.  That F on her drivers' license would help.  She was waiting until after she talked to the doctor again to move on that stuff.   Was Bob really buying 160 acres near the old air strip on speculation?  Much of the land around Millville had been for sale for a long time.  That land was being offered at a dollar an acre, the owners having inherited it and now living out of state. Common knowledge.  They would take the first offer, and it had been for sale since the airstrip closed twenty years ago. Airstrip.  That would help.  Not tonight. Focus, girl, she told herself, and read over her notes to do so, which were making less sense the further down she went. It was eleven, and she gave up and went to bed.
    • violet r
      .my name is violet. I'm new here and thus is my first try at forums. I'm 45 and just recently having came to terms of who I really am. Thought a lot of self discovery since I stopped drinking. Drinking was my coping mechanism to hide a lot of thing. There were plenty of signs though the years. As I look back. That i hid inside. Now really sure what made all of this bubble to the surface at this time in my life.  Mabye it was waiting for me to be open minded and ready to accept that I am trans. I have a very unhealthy environment at home that is anti trans. I really don't know what else to say but hi. I hope everyone here will be accepting of me and me work through my journey of finding the real me. I know that since I accepted it I have been much happier than I can remember. Being to real me makes me happy. I hate having to hide this all the the time at home. I work retail management and have no idea if I could even stay in this business if I am to fully come out. Wow that was scary saying all that. It's a first for me
    • Ivy
      It is a lifesaver for a lot of us.
    • Abigail Genevieve
      Thanks.  What I do as a man is what a woman would do if she were a man.  There is just something feminine about the way I act as a man.  It's not that being a woman is actually better, or something to aspire to, but it is just that I am one, while not being one.   If beating my head bloody to get rid off this stupid dysphoria would fix it I would find the nearest wall, but I know that if I did that, when I woke up, it would still be there.   If I did not have this struggle I would be someone else and I would be less of a person than I am.  They say an oak tree growing in an open field is far stronger than one in a forest.  The storms come and go and I stand.   This forum is the first time I have interacted with other people struggling with the same struggle and parallel struggles. It helps.
    • Ashley0616
      I'm sorry! :( Hopefully something better will come up
    • Ashley0616
      Thank you! Did great with the kids
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...