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Ex-trans?


Guest gentleman1

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Guest gentleman1

I was reading a response I received to one of my criticisms to a very conservative Christian lady's blog. She describes herself as a "Bible reading grandmother" from some site called WNC or something. I'd have to re-check the site to get the right name, but they tout "Focus on the Family" and such nonsense. Her article was titled along the lines of "Sex Change Charade" and quoted sources against transition such as Dr. Paul McHugh formerly of Johns Hopkins and the study they had done on Transexualism. I responded to her by letting her know the study was flawed and used myself as an example without going into detail in my life. Anyway, she surprised me by 1) responding, 2) not being nasty. (I wasn't nasty either). She was very kind. She DID mention however, that she got her information also from other "former" trans both pre-op AND POST-OP, who "saw the light" of "God's WAYS" and that they now realized that God had plans for them in their "original" gender and saw through the "lies" of transitioning, etc. Keep in mind that she was kind and I respect her reply to me, even though, our views are still sharply at odds. Her name is Ellen Makkai, I believe, I'd have to go back to the site to get it right for sure. Anyone ever hear of her, or of these "former Transexuals? I'd like to do more research on this particularly those who are post-op re-transitioned especially because this concerns Christianity and this was their motive for de-transitioning. Thanks - Shawn

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Guest ~Brenda~

Hi Shawn,

Did she mention who the person was that saw the "light"? Did she also mention which denomination this person was from?

I am just curious

Brenda

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There are any number of re-trans as I like to call them, almost all use religion as the reason for wanting to transition back to their original gender.

I have a problem with that because I do not believe that God corrects a mistake by making the same mistake again and if transitioning is a sin then doing it twice is just another sin.

I believe that these are all people who transitioned believing that their lives sould be perfect after transitioning but they turned out to be just the same or being so disappointed actually a little worse so they talk to someone in their church who tells them that they are being punished for leaving the path that God had set for them and the only way is to go back - they will follow anywhere at this point.

So now they are accepted by their church and asked to speak to large groups and they are positive that it is all because now they are doing God's work.

If I seem skeptical it is because I am, God works in mysterious ways but I don't think that devious is one of them.

Love ya,

Sally

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i've never really heard of these ex-trans people before. they must be some very confused people indeed, with religion pushing them into doing stuff. i doubt it really works though, and if it does, then they are hardly true trans, they have got to be something in the middle. strange idea, never heard of someone going back on something this serious before.

as for ex-gays, i have heard of them. they seem much more likely. a lot of them are probibly bi, but just give up the gay part. the rest just go against nature to live the heterosexual lifestyle. they wont ever truely be happy in it, but then again, a lot of straights hate the marriage they are in, so the ex-gays will probably blame it on that. but the way i see it, sexuality is part choice, part nature. the nature is what you naturally like, and the choice is what you actually do. Deeedoo and i have a friend who is gay that chooses the live a straight life becuase of his religion, he says gay is what you do. its sad to see, but i guess thats his life, and we cant live it for him.

but this ex-trans thing seems really dangerous, much more so than ex-gay. this is a core personallity issue, not a sexual/romantic one. they could very easily send these people into a suicidal state if the religious brainwashing wears off. i hope this is not the case; i've watched too many lives be ruined by these good intentions gone horribly wrong, the best thing to do is make the world more aware of what transgender is. i'm trying to do my part in the small town of knoxville, but i guess this is a team effort. maybe one day we can be past this nonsense (notices self on soapbox, and sheepishly gets off).

the ex-gay thing is just silly, so is trying to explain its not a choice. my thing is so what if its a choice or not, what make my choice less valid than a straight person's. to think i'm any less for my choice is a heterosupremacist idea. this is what needs to be fought, not this choice nonsense. and being ex-gay is a person's choice to make and no one elses. given, i think its stupid if you are at least partially gay, but it isnt my choice to make. again, live and let live.....someone needs to get me away from this soapbox before i start a LGBT equivalent black panther rally. it shall be called, the pink panthers. :P

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Guest Jean Davis

Hi Shawn

All I know is if someone tells a lie often and loud enough most people will recieve it as the truth (politcians do this alot ) :D

Follow your Heart

And ask her next time why God gave us the means to correct this if he didn't want us to change and be happy.

LUV

Jean Davis

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Skyy, you have this amazing way of phrasing arguments succinctly.

this is a core personallity issue, not a sexual/romantic one.

well said.

Maybe you should be spending more time on the soapbox. I bet people would listen to you.

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again, live and let live.....someone needs to get me away from this soapbox before i start a LGBT equivalent black panther rally. it shall be called, the pink panthers. :P

Oh, please stay on the soapbox.

I wanted this to become a pink panther rally, I already had the theme music cued!

We sort of sneak in! :D

You are so right no one gets the difference between choice and just being, as a child you may choose to become a doctor but you never have to choose to become an adult - that just happens (some of us never act like one but that is a gain a choice.)

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Donna Jean

It seems that lots of people speak with God on many levels...not just straight folks...

So many of us have been miserable for years because we couldn't accept how God had made us...

And if you are Trans, well, God made it so.

A trans person transitions to find happiness and if they find it to be a mistake they may transition back...But these people are hopefully weeded out by the SOC and therapy...

Look at the stats....after transition suicide rates among us go way down..we're finally where we need to be.

There are Boot camps that are run by religious groups that "Straighten out" gays...

They believe that being Gay or Trans is a lifestyle choice. It is NOT!

There are good intentioned people that would like to save you from yourself...

There are also good intentioned people that still think that the earth is flat!

Huggs

Donna Jean

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Guest AllisonD
It seems that lots of people speak with God on many levels...not just straight folks...

So many of us have been miserable for years because we couldn't accept how God had made us...

And if you are Trans, well, God made it so.

A trans person transitions to find happiness and if they find it to be a mistake they may transition back...But these people are hopefully weeded out by the SOC and therapy...

Look at the stats....after transition suicide rates among us go way down..we're finally where we need to be.

There are Boot camps that are run by religious groups that "Straighten out" gays...

They believe that being Gay or Trans is a lifestyle choice. It is NOT!

There are good intentioned people that would like to save you from yourself...

There are also good intentioned people that still think that the earth is flat!

Huggs

Donna Jean

DJ

I have to wonder if the 'good intentioned' are not so much trying to save a person from herself, but instead are trying to make her into what they think she should be. It is clear to me that one motivation for some self-proclaimed religious people is to get other people to think exactly as they do. It validates their own position in their own minds. I find it curious that often the position they argue is counter to explicit tenets of their own religion. I found a similar parallel in the racial discrimination I saw in North Carolina when I moved there from Germany. Some people went to considerable effort to convince others 'similar' to themselves that 'those other people' were beneath them. Success = confirmation that they, themselves, were actually 'better' than those others.

Save a person from living her life (trans, gay, whatever) as her heart dictates? That isn't saving, that is death.

Allison

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There are good intentioned people that would like to save you from yourself...

There are also good intentioned people that still think that the earth is flat!

Ther is an old saying that goes, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."

I tsimply means that we don't always know what is best and we often do the wrong things - like not going to war because it is wrong to fight while millions of people die because we weren't there (WWII was when this was used a lot) - not entering the war a good intention with horrible results while we waited most of Europe was over run bythe Blitzgreg and it wouldn't have been much longer before England fell, the numbers and the resources were against them, Germany was drwing on the resources of all of the countries that they now controled - and even earlier Prime Minister Neville Chamberlin tried to appease Hitler rather than start an armed conflict when he first took over Poland - another good intention that delayed the begin of the global war and allowed Germany to get stronger and strengthen its ties with the Axis Powers (Italy and Japan).

Enough history for now, just know that a good intention is not necessarily a good idea.

Love ya

Sally

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I don't trust one word that comes from the John Hopkins--McHugh--Jon Meyer camp. All their malarkey (spell?) that SRS does not "work" has been debunked by sound science and by the existence of all the happily transitioned people all over the world. Iv'e heard of one story about a person who was unhappy with her surgical results and tried to sue the clinic who diagnosed her, but she later admitted she lied to her therapist. But for all we know, this could have been a desperate person who was trying to get her medical bills paid this way, or she simply faked her way through her therapy by hiding facts that would have prevented the diagnosis, we don't know. As for Paul McHugh, this is a man who has had a lifelong vendetta against transwomen especially. I call him cardinal McHugh because he was the vatican's advisor on transsexualism and he rushed to the side of the vatican to defend the epidemic of pedophile priests by saying that the recovered memories of the victims were false. McHugh is a hired gun, and anything he has to disagree with he calls a "craze". He called transsexualism a craze, and of repressed memory he declared it a "myth"; a "craze that has contributed to this [accusations of priestly child molestation] injustice." . . . "to treat for repressed memories is malpractice, pure and simple." McHugh gives lectures on his "pure and simple" conclusions at religious retreats and he sounds just like a priest in a pulpit delivering a solemn sermon with his bombastic speech patterns echoing in a cavernous cathedral. Powerful stuff for catholics who are accustomed to the pomp and ritual of catholic mass. This man's obsession with persecuting transsexualism is mysterious. This man, I believe, is hiding some deep dark secrets and I hope some day it all comes out to the light of day. McHugh has got himself in more hot water, this time with the abortion issue. McHugh is being accused of providing a lot of misinformation (about the abortion doctor-and his clinic-who was recently murdered) to Bill O'Reily (spell?) which instigated his hate mongering rants and raves against the doctor, which then led to murder. Any stories or people themselves who claim to be "changed back" should be regarded with suspicion.

Nova

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Sally brings up a great point that those who transitioned were expecting it to complete their life but didn't. Erroneously, many folks think all transsexuals have the surgery but that simply isn't the case. I don't know of any ex-trans groups. If there are I imagine that they have done the same amount of damage that ex-gay groups have done.

Gennee

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Guest Evan_J
as a child you may choose to become a doctor but you never have to choose to become an adult

so perfectly worded.

I think that NEITHER being gay nor being trans is a choice. There was a time (lest we forget, cuz it feels like only yesterday....) that being gay and not being afforded the right to just "be" it was the source/ cause of many a person turning to alchohol, for some folks drugs, falling into severe episodes of depression, and even being suicidal. As trans people we should be careful not to minimize the actualities of the history of being gay in an effort to drive home the seriousness of being trans. Gay people have "seen the light" many times only out of continual emotional and mental assailing. These people are still gay. They just are not admitting to and honoring that fact. As long as they are willing to either be alone or force themselves to participate in sex relationships not satisfying or desired independent their assailers they are "doing what is good" and trotted out as "cured" and " saved". Unfortunately, this is also often all that's happening with the "ex-trans" . Not only are trans people subjected to the "evils of rejecting your birth sex" speach they might be also blasted with the assertions that "this is all 'part' of homosexuality and its sin", confusing, lying to , and misleading the person about what they even are.

If I verbally abuse you to the point that I emotionally strip you of your ability to understand or define yourself to me and then TELL you what you are and are not exactly how much is your "testimony" worth?

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I would like to quote a surprising source that really relates so well to our issues.

First the quote, "Nothing is real if you don't believe in yourself."

That just has to ring in our ears, what meaning can we find in life if we don't believe in ourselves and how can we believe in ourselves if we don't admit who we are.

The source of the deep thought - Rocky Balboa in Rocky III while questioning what his title meant since Mic (BUrgess Mersdith) had lined up contenders who were past their prime or not great fighters to protect him while training to regain his title from Clubber Lang (Mr. T).

It isn't really so strange that Sylvester Stallone would have feelings similar to ours - he was an outcast in high school for his dropping eyes and lip and somewhat slurred speech - make a hit movie and all of that changes but he never forgot being the outcast - once asked what he did about people wanting to get handouts and ride on his popularity his responce was, "I told my staff if anyone calls and said they were a friend of mine from high school, hang up - they're lying, I didn't have any."

We are not alone in being outcast but that doesn't make it any easier and people lie this are hurting our cause by blocking any further education about the true nature and causes of being Gay or Trans.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest S. Chrissie

There are transpeople that regretted transition, even at post-ops stage. The only possible reason I could think of is that they did not do their research, they did no be honest with themselves. No matter how one passes, has a good job, etc, if it isn't them, transition would still make them miserable.

Perhaps there are many more that actually re-transition or are ex-trans but collecting data would be a hard one. After trying to convince others for years and even your whole life of who and what you are, would you actually accept the fact that you were wrong and admit it others? I know it would be hard for me.

Quoted from a 10 years post-ops chatter from the chat room:

"With each one that admits, half a dozen more wouldn't."

who "saw the light" of "God's WAYS" and that they now realized that God had plans for them in their "original" gender and saw through the "lies" of transitioning

So in reality, is it really "seeing the light of God's WAYS" or is it the simple fact that transition was never for them in the first place? Instead of admitting that they made their own mistake, it would be easier to say that God showed them the "right way".

So now they are accepted by their church and asked to speak to large groups and they are positive that it is all because now they are doing God's work.

Love ya,

Sally

Jenda said something about that before, that perhaps, religion and "preaching and ministering" to large groups of people serve as a distraction from the inner conflict they have, and a strong distraction it is.

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i realize that i sort of missed something. i did mention some stuff about the choice factor, but i didnt point out that i dont think it is a choice for gay or straight people. none of it really applies to me, since i'm pansexual, for me, it really is a choice...ish, still cant avoid love. all i'm trying to say is there is nothing to apogize for, choice or not. for these people, having the natural tendency to sin is in human nature, for them gay is a sin, and it is a choice to follow through with being in gay relationships, hence the lifestyle. it being proven that sexuality is predetermined is most likely not going to stop these people. and you know, fighting so hard to justify being gay only makes it look like we arent proud to follow our hearts, and that seems to contradict what this movement is all about. we arent any less for being gay, and so i think we should stop acting like we are. i'm not ashamed of who i am, and even if there was a choice, and the world was really all pansexual, it wouldnt stop me from dating who i want. thats my point B)

these ex-gay camps are definitly something i have a much more violent reaction to. before, i was talking about independant decision. but this camp thing is just way too dangerous, so are these ex-trans camp things. it is really nothing more than murder in my mind, pushing these people to suicide. and i also feel i should point out that i hardly think everyone involved in these things have good intentions. some people just use God to justify their evil actions. just wanted people to know that i understand that.

and that is my update. thanks for encouraging the soapbox speeches, cause i can talk all day, ask Deeedoo, he/she has heard me rant for hours. :D

PINK PANTHERS UNITE!!!!!

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Guest ~Brenda~

I would like to add a comment on this re-transition issue....

Re-transitioning is extremely rare. Much more rare than transitioning itself. I feel bad for those that have re-transitioned due to outside pressures (i.e. family, church, job, etc). Those unfortunate people were on their path all the way, but somehow lost themselves to the will of others (very, very sad). Even sadder are those that were not truthful to themselves, to their therapists. So that they somehow got through all of the safety nets and got SRS. Only to discover that the fantasy of physically changing gender did not meet the reality of changing gender. So now they are even more depressed than ever and decide to have the surgery once again to restore their original physical gender.

There is a very, very important lesson here. BE HONEST!!! Be honest with yourself. Be honest with your therapists. Be honest with all those who are around you. Transitioning is not a contest. Transitioning is very serious. Us older ones have lived long enough to know that when it is time to transition, we know all of the ramificatoins of what that means. I caution you younger ones to be very, very honest! Transitioning is a very hard road that no one wants to travel if they can help it. It is a road of hardship, peril, and great personal loss. At the same time, transitioning is a time of true self awareness, resolve, and peace with yourself.

Don't have any illusions that much of the realities of your life will change at all after you transition. You will be you, truely, but your life will still have the bills, the worry, the drama, as all lives have. Don't look at transitioning as a panacea for all of your whoes.

But remember... Transitioning is what saves us.

Be yourself, Be honest.

Love you all

Brenda

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Guest gentleman1

Hi all,

I don't know what denomination this person is from, Brenda and no, no names were given. (?)

So many good responses and replies all. Thanks!!!!!!!! Whether any of you knew it or not, you all ministered to me. I sometimes still have struggles with Christianity and my being trans so much so, that I almost lost my faith altogether. I was raised very, VERY conservatively in a "holiness" Pentecostal Church where there was a very clear line drawn between the "boys" and the "girls". Any deviation from this line would risk incurring the wrath of "God, the Just Judge". So, I never did for many years. Plus when I was young (still a child), I never said anything to my parents because I was afraid that I was crazy, so I just denied it. I strongly believed that if I was going to be pleasing to God, then I had to accept myself exactly the way He made me and that seemed to clearly be female.......at least from what my eyes told me... I later converted as an adult to Catholicism and became just as strict in adhering to that faith as I used to with pentecostalism.. Anyway, every once in awhile, I still wonder if I did the right thing by transitioning. I mean, if there really was a way to get the mind to agree with the body and not vice-versa, I would have a moral obligation to try that, wouldn't I? So, the " tail-chasing" story goes from time to time with me.

Incidently, I recently had top surgery, and there is no mistaking the peace I have when I see my "new" chest. I feel so much relief! Go figure!

JEvan- You hit one nail right on the head - many of these "conservative christians" think that transexualism is nothing more than "hyper-homosexuality". I could and do very strongly disagree. -Shawn

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Guest gentleman1

Brenda,

That last post should be posted somewhere prominently (sp?) at every turn of a newly transitioning person's journey and maybe somewhere on this forum. AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything you said is so very,VERY true. You're awesome as are the other wonderful ladies here! :D - Shawn

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Guest Evan_J
"new" chest. I feel so much relief!

You're the first person I've heard (or maybe paid attention to?) other than me use that exact word regarding the chest surgery. I was asked afterwards "are you happy now?" and it actually made me feel like scowling at the person or kind of feeling "angry". Happy? Who would feel "happy" about needing to be cut? Relief was the thing I undoubtedly felt and gratitude to god but not "happy"/ha ha/ isn't this fun.

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  • Posts

    • April Marie
      I so very much enjoy your posts. This one, though, hit home with me for many reasons. I was commissioned in the Army in '77, as well. Like you, I was not overly masculine in the way that many of our contemporaries were. I (still do) cried at weddings, pictures of puppies and babies, when I talked about bring proud of what my units accomplished and was never the Type A leader. In the end, it worked for me and I had a successful career.   This is, of course, your story not mine so I won't detail my struggle. It just took me much longer to understand what the underlying cause of my feelings was and even more to admit it. To act on it.    Thank you for sharing your story, Sally.
    • Sally Stone
      Post 6 “The Military Career Years” In 1977 I joined the Army and went to flight school to become a helicopter pilot.  To fly for the military had been a childhood dream and when the opportunity arose, I took advantage of it, despite knowing I would have to carefully control my crossdressing activity.  At the time, military aviation was male dominated and a haven for Type A personalities and excessive testosterone.  I had always been competitive but my personality was not typically Type A.  And while I could never be considered effeminate, I wasn’t overtly masculine either.  Consequently, I had little trouble hiding the part of my personality that leaned towards the feminine side.    However, serving in the Army limited my opportunities for feminine self-expression.  During this period, I learned that being unable to express my feminine nature regularly, led to frustration and unhappiness.  I managed these feelings by crossdressing and underdressing whenever I could.  Underdressing has never been very fulfilling for me, but while I was in the Army it was a coping mechanism.  I only cross-dressed in private and occasionally my wife would take me out for a late-night drive.  Those drives were still quite private, but being out of the house was clearly therapeutic.    I told myself I was coping, but when it became apparent the Army was going to be a career, the occasional and closeted feminine expression was clearly inadequate.  I needed more girl time and I wanted to share my feminine side with the rest of the world, so the frustration and unhappiness grew.  Despite my feelings regarding feminine self-expression, I loved flying, so I wasn’t willing to give up my military career.  Consequently, I resigned myself to the fact that the female half of my personality needed to take a back seat, and what helped me through, was dreaming of military retirement, and finally having the ability to let Sally blossom.   About Sally. Ironically, she was born while I was still serving.  It was Halloween and my wife and I were hosting a unit party.  I looked upon the occasion as the perfect excuse to dress like a girl.  After a little trepidation, my wife agreed I should take advantage of the opportunity.  Back then, my transformations were not very good, but with my wife’s help, my Halloween costume looked quite authentic.  Originally, my wife suggested that my presentation should be caricature to prevent anyone from seeing through my costume.  But that didn’t appeal to me at all.  I wanted to look as feminine and ladylike as I could.   To my wife’s and my amazement, my costume was the hit of the party.  In fact, later in the evening, my unit buddies decided they wanted to take me out drinking and before either me or my wife could protest, I was whisked away and taken to one of our favorite watering holes.  Terrified at first, I had an amazing time, we all did.  But on Monday morning, when I came to work, I learned that I had a new nickname; it was Sally, and for the duration of that tour, that’s what I was called.  Well, when it came time for me to choose a feminine name, there weren’t any other choices.  Sally it was, and to this day I adore the name, and thank my pilot buddies for choosing it.   And this brings me to my last assignment before retiring.  I was teaching military science in an Army ROTC program at Mercer University in Macon, Georgia.  I had been a member of TRIESS (a nationwide crossdressing support group).  I wasn’t really an active participant but when we moved to Georgia, I learned there was a local chapter in Atlanta.  I reached out to the membership chair person, and joined.   Because the chapter meetings took place in Atlanta, a trans friendly city, and because Atlanta was so far from Macon and any of my military connections, I felt it would be safe to let my feminine hair down.  The monthly meetings took place in the Westin Hotel and Conference Center in Buckhead, an upscale northern Atlanta suburb, and the hotel itself was 4-star.  The meetings were weekend affairs with lots of great activities that allowed me to express myself in a public setting for the first time.  It was during this time, that Sally began to blossom.   I have the fondest memories of Sigma Epsilon (the name of our chapter in Atlanta).  Because the hotel was also a conference center, there was always some big event, and in many cases, there were several.  One weekend there was a nail technician conference that culminated in a contest on Saturday evening.  When the organizers learned there was a huge group of crossdressers staying at the hotel, they reached out to us looking for manicure volunteers.  I volunteered and got a beautiful set of long red fingernails that I wore for the duration of the weekend.   During another of our meeting weekends, there was a huge military wedding taking place, and imagine what we were all thinking when we learned it was a Marine wedding.  Our entire group was on edge worrying we might have to keep a low profile.  It turned out to be one of the most memorable weekends I would experience there.  First off, the Marines were all perfect gentlemen.  On Friday night and throughout the day on Saturday before the wedding, we rubbed elbows with most of them and their wives in and around the hotel, and at the hotel bar.  In fact, we got along so well the bride invited us to the reception.  Somewhere, there is a picture of me with a handsomely dressed Marine draped on each of my arms, standing in the lobby of the hotel.  Sadly, I never got a copy of it because the woman who took the picture used a film camera (yes, they actually took picture that way in ancient times).    My two-years with Sigma Epsilon was the perfect transition.  I went from being fully closeted to being mostly out.  I enhanced my feminine presentation and significantly reduced my social anxiety.  It also signified the end of one life and the beginning of another.  I had a great career and never regretted serving, but I was ready to shed the restrictions 20-years of Army service had imposed on my feminine self-expression.  My new life, Sally’s life, was about to begin, and with it I would begin to fully spread a new set of wings, this time feminine wings.    Hugs, Sally
    • Sally Stone
      Ashley, for a very long time she clung to the term crossdresser, because for her it was less threatening.  Over the years, though, she has come to recognize and acknowledge that I have a strong feminine side.  And like me, she now has a much better understanding of where my transgender journey is going, so me being bigender, isn't the threat she might have perceived it as, years ago. 
    • Carolyn Marie
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    • missyjo
      darling you have wonderful taste..I especially love the red dress n sneaker outfit   enjoy   missy
    • Carolyn Marie
      Very well said, @Abigail Genevieve, and very true.  Thank you.   Carolyn Marie
    • Susan R
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    • Susan R
      They may win a few battles but not the war! as @Davie pointed out there is little truth if it full of lies, inconsistencies, and ignores evidence to the contrary. I saw this article earlier and have to agree here. Truth will win. This isn’t the first time this tactic has been tried. Always stick with the truth!
    • Susan R
      Welcome @violet r! Glad you joined our forum and got through the hardest part…that first post. As many have mentioned, we are more than accepting here as we affirm your gender identity and hold no judgement, whatsoever. There’s so much here on this forum, I think you’ll find very helpful. If you have trouble finding an answer just reach out, try the search but starting a new thread is usually best to get some quick answers. Many are here for various transgender related issues but many, if not all, are here to help one another if we can. It’s great to have you onboard.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Willow
      good evening   good day at work today.  I did do some things a little out of normal but everything was completed successfully.  As I said earlier, the Asst Mgr was my second today.  I don’t think she was too happy about that.  Several customers asked her where Richard was her answer was the manager cut his hours.  Well that is only part of the story,  his hours were cut just like mine were and several others but in his case he made demands about his hours that couldn’t be met.  But instead of making some non complaining remark about it she made sure to lay it all on the manager, thus throwing the manager under the bus.  Similarly when asked why she hadn’t been at work early mornings, she said she was being punished by the manager.  Well that’s partly true, she wouldn’t do what the manager told her to do so she took her off opening.  But secondarily she didn’t have a car to drive temporarily.  You can’t open the store without a car because who ever opens has tasks that require them to leave the store, so it was  at least partly her own fault.  But she chose to throw the manager under the bus for that.  I think she is asking to be fired for insubordination.  And if the manager gets these conversations off the security tape tomorrow she just might get her wish.   im pretty close to being ready to take the asst position but there isn’t anyone ready to take over my job, at least not at our store.  I suppose the other shift lead could if she is able to work earlier shifts and if the other closers were just a bit more reliable.   Ive been wanting some homefried chicken.  We found a BBQ place not far away that had such a chicken but I is made fresh when ordered so it has a 30 minute wait.  It was worth the wait and the other things we tried were also good.  Another restaurant on the list.  At least half of what we ordered came home for another meal.   i get to sleep in tomorrow, I go to work at 1:30!   Willow
    • Abigail Genevieve
      It was nine thirty.  Saturday morning had rolled around more quickly than Taylor could believe.  She groaned, whined, thought of a million excuses why she should just stay in bed and knock the alarm across the room.  But it would still be going on, and so would the promise to Bob: when the gi came in, she would be in. There it was in its nice package, out where she could not miss it.  Why didn't she hide it?  She shook her head.   Up she got.  Sometimes you just do.  Her hair was a wreck. She patted it down and went to the bathroom.  Nine forty five. Shower later. No make up. She hated kara-tay especially at an ungodly early hour on a Saturday morning. Bagel. Instant coffee.  She was five minutes away when she realized she had forgotten the gi.  Back she went.   Into the dojo.  She had about five minutes to get the gi on.  She attempted to slip in unnoticed and go to the little restroom. Someone barked something out in Japanese or something, and there was a dead silence.  She turned to see what was going on. Both classes were getting into their lines, but everyone, including Bob, was bowing slightly. To her. Bob nodded, and she returned the bow.  Life started again. She was touched.   Bowing three times. Oath. Kata.  She was facing off with Judy as her partner.  Judy looked worried.   "Sometimes you just gotta pick yourself up and try again," Taylor told her. She nodded. "Let's do this."   Lunge punch and lower block.  They traded off like nothing had happened the last weekend.  Lunge punch and middle block. Lunge punch and upper block.  It was kind of like dancing. Taylor enjoyed it.  She wanted to learn more.  Brown-belt Maggie adjusted position of limbs and hips for both Taylor and Judy, telling them when she was about to do something: elbow up a bit".    "How'd you do?" Bob asked her later.  They had both gone home and showered. Now they were in a booth at a fast food place.   "I was kind of disappointed class ended. I was ready for more."   "That's my trooper."   "I'm not allowing you in my apartment until we are married," she said suddenly.   "You think I am a problem?"   "No.  I think you are safe. You passed the test  I am the problem here."   "Okay."   "What did the doctor tell you?"   "It's complicated.  More tests coming.  Like getting into college.  I got a letter back.  It seems there is this big fat M on my transcript and my current picture is not an M type picture.  I have to write a letter and send them notarized proofs and stuff. Just delays. This is a pain. Nothing cut and dried."   "I will say.  I'm glad I'm not transgender."   "Hah. You are pulled into my world.  You are involved in this stuff as much as I am, and, as you put it, of your own free will."   "You are worth it."   "I hope so."   "I know so."      
    • Abigail Genevieve
      On the way back to her desk she was interrupted by six short, urgent conversations that had to be attended to. Then she slipped into the women's room and locked the stall door.  She took a deep breath, then another, and allowed herself to shake for five minutes,  Then deep breathing, ten in and ten out, stretch up, touch the floor, neck rolls and she was fine. She used the toilet and a woman knocked and said, "Taylor, are you okay?"   "Ready to conquer the world!"  on her way out she found her makeup was fine.  Three stalls, two sinks.  If she ever designed a women's room with three stalls, there would be four sinks, with plenty of space to plunk your stuff down between them.   She met a deferential Karen.  "Here is the branding I came up with," she said.  And she went back to working as hard as Brenda and Mary, who looked up worriedly and then went back to the proposal.   Shortly before 5:00 she received an email with the title Consolidation and Compensation.  In it she learned that the position of office manager was eliminated, and the current office manager was to become the chief executive officer. The former CEO, along with the CFO, the chief legal officer, and sundry staff, had been terminated, per the Board of Directors.  Effective immediately everyone would receive a base salary of $20,000 with a commission to be set by the individual's supervisor.  Each supervisor would be given a certain percentage to distribute.  Most functions they had been handled would be outsourced as needed.   "The question of what profit was made last year is frequent enough to be answered.  The company lost over 500,000 in fiscal 2023.  At this point further cuts are not anticipated.  We will be strategically adding positions that will enhance our profits. Hard work is expected of everyone."   Her two web guys had been complaining because their games had been remotely uninstalled.  After the memo came out they were absolutely silent.  That gave her an idea, and after an exchange of emails they were reassigned to maintenance out at the plant, effective tomorrow morning.  There were lots of weeds that needed pulling, if nothing else. That email went out after they left early, for the day.  The maintenance foreman was a no-nonsense type who did not tolerate slacking, and they would learn a thing or two.  This also freed up two spaces for her to put new people.
    • MaeBe
      So…I didn’t know your Facebook avatar was public. So, on my birthday, a couple people used a group avatar message to wish me a happy birthday…and now my Facebook friends can see a short video of my female avatar dancing with an old friend’s and another with my uncle’s avatars. So am I “Facebook out” now? 😬
    • Davie
      No, they are not. Truth wins in the end and this report is full of lies that poison the whole thing: see this: "Dr. Cass Backpedals From Review: HRT, Blockers Should Be Made Available it's said. Dr. Cass's latest statements are likely to cast more doubt on the validity of the study, which has come under fire for disregarding substantial evidence on trans care." https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/dr-cass-backpedals-from-review-hrt?publication_id=994764&post_id=143743897&isFreemail=true&r=rebf4&triedRedirect=true I hope Dr. Cass wins The Mengele Award for it.
    • Adrianna Danielle
      Boyfriend and I went to a support group for spouses dating or married to a transgender person on Tuesday night for the first time.It was amazing meeting other couples like us.One was a genetic woman whom has been dating a transgender male for the first time and she is supporting his transition.Us,they were amazed by us agreeing on something we said,love and acceptance have brought us together
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