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Female to Male (FtM) Discussions

A place to discuss topics related to transitioning from female to male.

4,416 topics in this forum

  1. Update on my transition!

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  2. Chest help

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  3. STP question

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  4. Finally Feel Like Myself Again

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  5. I thought a nurse would understand..?

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  6. Over Femenizing???

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  7. Starting T in 2 days!!

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  8. I GOT MY FIRST BINDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  9. Binder/packer advice?

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  10. some thoughts

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  11. Helping people understand

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  12. Tried

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  13. advice for coming out at college/work

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  14. How well do I pass right now?

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  15. U.K. trans law

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  16. Regrets and Doubting

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    • lauraincolumbia
      Sorry about your day! I hope today is much better!
    • Shay
      yes - some people see what they only want to see...selective vision.   You are doing amazing as is Robin and I am so proud of both of you.
    • Shay
      If you can record wave files then you place them in dropbox (it's free) so we can copy and put into our recording software - add a part and put it in drop box and then you can take the part and add to your recording OR you could record your part and I could help set you up in dropbox and I'd be willingto add parts and mix and send back to you.
    • ElizabethStar
      I told my wife as soon as I was able to fully accept it. A couple weeks later I came out my told my brother then swallowed my pride and told my mother. A few days later I stared HRT. Two and a half months after that (last February) I told my supervisor at work. It was about the same time things were "developing". Thankfully it didn't bother him, and he gave me a hug. The rest of the company just found out a few weeks ago. I have been wearing woman's clothing and presenting as a woman for the last couple of years but as I have come to realize some people can't see what's right in front of them.
    • Michellle
      Great ,thanks Shay. I’ll keep that in mind. All I have to do is learn how to record via Dropbox... lol
    • Shay
      Gosh - the next song I heard tells it - when others give you negative - give them a flower and smile    
    • Sally Stone
      James,   I have identified as bi-gender for a long time.  Born male I enjoyed being so, but there was also a part of me that was female.  I have embraced both the male and female personas sharing my mind, and it has brought me happiness and contentment.  I have no desire to give up one gender for the other, instead, I express both.     Thank goodness things have changed in recent years, but there used to be this unwritten rule that a person had to choose a gender identity.  That is just ludicrous.  We humans are all different and it is absolutely okay to express the gender or genders of your choice.  I say explore your gender identities and express the one or the many that make you feel happy and complete.
    • Shay
      AUGUST 5 - I was thinking this morningthat each of us have our own journey in life and no one can tell you how you should live it and that we all have our struggles but we must embrace our fears and recognize every roadblock is just a short term issue to address to get to the who that you are.....   Secret 'O Life James Taylor   The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time Any fool can do it There ain't nothing to it Nobody knows how we got to The top of the hill But since we're on our way down We might as well enjoy the ride The secret of love is in opening up your heart It's okay to feel afraid But don't let that stand in your way 'Cause anyone knows that love is the only road And since we're only here for a while Might as well show some style Give us a smile Isn't it a lovely ride? Sliding down Gliding down Try not to try too hard It's just a lovely ride Now the thing about time is that time Isn't really real It's just your point of view How does it feel for you Einstein said he could never understand it all Planets spinning through space The smile upon your face Welcome to the human race Some kind of lovely ride I'll be sliding down I'll be gliding down Try not to try too hard It's just a lovely ride Isn't it a lovely ride? See me sliding down Gliding down Try not to try too hard It's just a lovely ride The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time      
    • Shay
      The most difficult thing I had to do (and that was recently) was to come out to friends and my wife. Once I did that I was finally able to move ahead. I am on HRT now, waiting for a new GT and anxious to becoming the woman I've denied all my life.   In regard to the support groups  if you didn't feel comfortable with them - you will need to find another group. At least you are with a support group here that I'm sure you realize TOTALLY SUPPORT you and are here for you always.    Smile - You've come a long way,   Heather Shay
    • RunValRun
      @QuestioningAmber When I first saw the title I thought it was an invitation to the flame wars Since asking to choose between those is akin to asking whether you should use 2 or 4 spaces for indentation - "the war must go on" and no side has clear reason to win (and yes, the battle over tabs is over, they lost) Then I read your post and sighed with a relief 😉   As I am in the midst of transitioning, I am quite invested to know what the future holds, but I guess my only option is to follow the rest of humanity at one-day-at-a-time pace One good thing about IT field is that unless you are in support or other position involved with users' interactions, you only need to be comfortable with your team. Depending on the size of the company, others either don't need to be made aware before you are ready or they will only meet Amber and would not be burdened with prior knowledge. For what its worth, I am looking forward to be a girl on the team - we are definitely lacking in female presentation 🤭  
    • Shay
      Michellle - there are 3 bass players here that are willing to add bass to any tracks you might have need of recording via dropbox.   Heather Shay
    • Robin
      I made the decision to come out to my brother and to a few of my friends very soon after coming to the realisation that I am trans.  This made me feel better as it was then out in the open and "official", rather than just going round and round in my head.   None of the people that I told had anything negative to say about it.  The only problems that I experienced were when I approached two transgender support groups, where, due to my male appearance, I was seen as an "admirer" and turned away.  That severely knocked my self confidence, just as I thought that I had finally found out what was "wrong" with me, and that my life was going to improve.    Robin.
    • ElizabethStar
      This really sounds like some of the things I struggled with. I was questioning and confused for many, many years. I really just needed more time, experimentation and self reflection to be sure.    
    • Michellle
      I agree, some people’s egos hold the whole band back. Me and my brothers always got along playing and recording together. It’s bass players we had issues with. I think they know they are in demand.
    • MiraM
      Very well said. I transitioned in 2000, and then de-transitioned in 2002.  I was miserable living as a man, and knew I was a woman, but I was just as miserable after transitioning, so I stopped HRT, and all therapy, and went back to living as a male...a depressed, alcoholic, suicidal male.  My mistake is that I thought transitioning was the "magic pill" that was going to solve all my problems.  It wasn't.  They were still there.   In 2016, after being laid off from my job, I went back into therapy.  My intention was not to transition at that time, but to try and work out the issues with my depression and C-PTSD.  About a year into therapy, we started addressing the gender dysphoria again, and I was referred to the man gender therapist at my VA Hospital.   After about 6 months of weekly sessions with her, we both felt that I was at a point where trying HRT again was possible.  I went back on HRT in January of 2018, and the outcome was different.  This time I actually started to feel comfortable with me.  I went full time again in August 2019 and haven't looked back.   I can attest to the fact that some of the people that de-transition have the mindset that I did the first time.  It is very important, mandatory in my opinion, that any and all co-morbid conditions be addressed and brought under control before transitioning.  If not, the outcome is likely to not be a positive one.  I for one am glad that my current medical team would not consider putting me on HRT until I had done so.  I think therapy is important after HRT and going full-time as well.  I still see my gender therapist every two weeks.
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