All Activity

@Jackie C.Great quote above, and so true....   Be you, be real....   Hugs   C    

I certainly wasn't prepared to read this today but we  as trans folks are indeed a group of humans with differing views and behaviors.   https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/01/trans-insurrectionist-slapped-serious-sedition-charge-go-jail-decades/?fbclid=IwAR3rHkOikSJZeS_tIks4PK-N1j4EuHBEd4qxFDs7CXYqGPrbkPLTAI6TvPI   Hugs,   Charlize    

I think a lot of us have or had internalized transphobia. Especially us older gals. Society was (and in a lot of places is) hard and unforgiving for us. You can't help but internalize some of it.   As for the intrusive thoughts... well, those suck but you don't have to accept them. My practice is to treat them like a six-year-old who is spouting nonsense. Let it pass through you without acknowledging it. You tell yourself, "OK," and move on. You don't accept the thought, you just set it aside.   For me, the path to accepting who other people are is entwined with accepting who I am. The more comfortable I am with myself, the more comfortable I am with my trans siblings. They might not express themselves the same way I do, but they're just as valid as I am. I accept myself as a woman, therefore I can accept my fellow trans people as their gender of choice. This journey is about feeling comfortable in your own skin after all, not making OTHER people comfortable with your skin. If they want to present more masc, fem or androgynous... so be it. That's my friend. That's all that matters.   Hugs!

So when I first even thought I could be trans, I had a terrible period of time where I kept having thoughts like "do not rush this" and "what if it isn't true and you're lying". And it was Bad. But I managed to get through that and feel like nothing is wrong and I'm pretty happy as myself. However, it was the start of the pandemic, I was stuck at home, not going anywhere and having to introduce myself as my passport name and gender.   Now it's all back and worse than ever. I suddenly realise that used to be much more open-minded, completely okay and welcoming of people's Selves, but now I look at other trans people and something in me thinks "this isn't okay" and other thoughts that are straight up transphobic, like "this is actually a-" and whatever gender a character or a person was assigned at birth. I know it's not nice and I don't want to have those thoughts, which at this point manifest in a very similar manner to my other intrusive thoughts (mental health thing, basically unwanted non-conscious thoughts that i can't stop and that make me disstressed). I keep having random intrusive thoughts about people calling me by my deadname or gender and it makes me furious, yet here I am. I feel guilty and like I don't acutally belong with my own people now, but in my head I know that it isn't how I feel or what I want in this world.   I feel like trying to explain myself to my mom made it significantly worse too, bc she doesn't believe me and tries to low-key infantilisingly push me into being "cis again", and that messes me up so much. I keep trying to share my thoughts with her and that only ends in her insisting she doesn't get and cannot accept the concept (of being trans), but loves Me anyway. Maybe that's where it's coming from? I live and grew up in a very transphobic place so yeah   Does anyone have the same "trans but transphobic" experience? I wanted to share and ask, if anyone has a similar experience and is comfortable sharing it, how do others deal with this problem? I'm not exactly asking for an advice, it's more of a "but if you say what to do, out loud, i won't stop you" situation. I want to know how others face this and not feel like I don't belong with other trans people just because this is something I'm struggling with.   I find great comfort in looking at other people's content (trans-related) and my own art and characters that are trans, and expressing my feelings throught them, but when it comes to real people and myself this stuff happens. Help..?

Those are both lovely things to have in operational condition. They probably don't mean anything by it, they're most likely up to their eyebrows in COVID cases and they don't SEE you so they don't think to give you updates unless you call to harass them. The obvious solution is to keep harassing them.     Not true, being trans is patently ridiculous. I mean yeah, it causes pain and heartbreak but honestly. The whole thing is like the universe playing a practical joke. Not a funny one, but I rarely find practical jokes funny so that tracks. Humor is a good way to fight back. My favorite was always Femme & M's. My therapist prefers anticisthamines. I mean first you need to embrace the absurdity of the situation then you can grow from that.     Tom Ellis. I would totally be straight for Tom Ellis.     Congratulations! Another friend of mine just had a face lift so I'd imagine similar levels of beat up. Just take your meds, follow your surgeon's instructions and don't be a hero. You'll be able to see the lovely woman the rest of us already see in no time.     OT is incredibly wholesome. I strongly recommend.   Hugs!