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This is so true for me. It is hard. basically living two lives.    Kymmie

I've only been gendered correctly once while out with my mom, but I'm pretty sure it was an accident lol. We were going througha drive-thru and the cashier told us, "Have a nice day ladies!" I was smoking a cigarette and had my head turned away at the time but turned to look at the cashier when I heard him say "ladies." XD I was waiting for him to correct himself, but he didn't and mom and I giggled about it shortly after lol. ...I'm pretty sure he was either just being polite or completely oblivious, already focusing on the next car in line, running on auto-pilot, eager to get off work lmao.

When I bottled it up before coming out.Made it worse and put a toll on me.Learned it did not work at all.

I was just thinking about the fact that DES may be the reason that i'm trans.  In the long run, it really doesn't matter why I am what I am. It is nice to know though that there really is a reason for it. Turns out I'm not crazy. I'm still a freak of nature, but a happier one now that I know i'm not the cause of it. Another fine example of what happens when we mess around with mother nature.🤨

Oh hey, I did that last night too. We were in the garden though, so WAY too cold for a dress. Two members wore one anyway and I respect their ability to sit in the cold like that, but I bundled my butt up like a sensible person. I didn't wear anything special, just jeans and a t-shirt (under a sweatshirt, under my pleather jacket), but I still had a blast.   Love what you're wearing @Bri2020! That dress really compliments your new curves!   Hugs!

I like the hat also, it would cover up my sparse hair on top nicely. It's a long process changing your wardrobe. Strains the budget. Winters coming soon and I need all new winter clothes.    I haven't had anyone gender me correctly yet when i'm out. The closest i've gotten is one guy who is a walmart greeter stopped saying, "have a nice day SIR". He just gives me a puzzled look and says, "have a nice day" now. It's a start.

Oh yeah. Still introverted, but I'm much more likely to do the outgoing, social thing until my batteries are down around 20%. I just did a meetup with a bunch of other LGBT+ people last night. I had a room full of strangers , we just talked about stuff for three and a half hours over drinks and shared contact information. I had a blast.     Well, mathematically, there should be about 60, though we tend to congregate in city enclaves more than small towns. Though thinking about it, an entire trans town would be kind of awesome.   Hugs!

That's the way you've got to do it. Who gives a crap about what other people think. If they don't like the way you are, that's their problem. That's the way I roll. Got enough to worry about in life. I'm not going to add them to the list.

Silent movies can be the best! "Hi Allie" says it all (that and the look of worry disappearing from her face)!  Both parents were Marines (during "Korea") with "dad" rarely at home . . . yet he was the one, after divorce, who eventually took sister and I in and said "love you regardless"! 

I guess I should say, Exuberent for finally being myself, and sad when I see the pain i'm causing my wife, and angry that I didn't figure out who I was until such a late age.

It takes time with wives. Mine is slowly getting better all the time. It's been about 9 months since I came out to mine.   I love hearing the good stuff like this. Congrats. We went to a family function yesterday. I gave my neice a hug goodby and she wispered in my ear, "You look pretty today". It was a good feeling.   I thought there was only one other trans woman besides me in my town of about 12,000 people. I found out there is at least three others here. One is a nurse. I suspected I wasn't alone. Every once in a while I see someone when i'm out, and my brain says "something is different with that person". I don't ask. It would be pretty awkward if they weren't, like asking an overweight woman when the baby is due when she's not pregnant.

What prompted this latest big discussion with Mrs was her invite to accompany her to a friend's party...she always lets me decline such invites due to my established introverted personality.  At least she now knows that the message that "there'll be guys there he can hang out with" isn't a good selling point with me.    Went in guy mode but since starting on the happy pills I am not as closed up as I used to be, and she's the one who wanted to leave first for once.   If this happens a few more times, to @Jackie C.'s point, she'll realize that I really am happier and nicer to be around if I'm not hiding away defending a fortress of solitude and it will end up helping her deal with all the angst she has over 'losing'  her husband. 

Expect to be treated with kindness and respect by someone who's probably met many trans people, and may be one themselves.  They will want to get to know you, they will ask you to tell them about yourself, and ask you what your goals are in regards to the therapy sessions.  They may ask about your fears, desires, and your own knowledge about being trans. My only suggestion, other than administrative questions such as fees, and such, is to be as honest as you are comfortable with, and forthright about what your expectations of them are.   Carolyn Marie

There's no hurry to start transitioning -right now- if you are feeling uneasy about the situation or are unable to transition yet. There's nothing wrong with taking your time and exploring your options and what you want to do in the future. Living with your parents when you want to start transitioning can possibly be a barrier, but you really won't know unless you talk with them about it. Which you don't have to do if you feel unsafe. However, it is very unsafe to self-medicate with hormones, so please don't take any backroads to get on T. My personal recommendation would be to talk to your parents after you feel more comfortable with it yourself.

As hard as it is to deal with the gender dysphoria of not wearing a binder, I would highly suggest that you do not wear one right now. Binders have been known to crack ribs, so it is entirely possible that binding could adversely affect your health if you are having chest pains. Overlarge hoodies can be your best friends right now. And please see a doctor as soon as you are able to. Just start with your primary care doctor if you have one.