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  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Forums

  1. Site Help

    1. Questions and Answers

      Found a bug?  Feature not working as it should?  Have a question about how to use the forums, a resource on the site, or the chat rooms?  This is the place to get help.

       

      This is not a forum to ask transition, hormone, or other questions.  It is for questions about the website and technical issues.

      545
      posts
  2. Issue-Specific Support Forums

    1. Suicide Prevention

      Most transgender people have attempted suicide at least once in their lives. If you have, please lend your support here to those who are having a bad time now. Suicide is never the answer. If you are suicidal, call the Trans Lifeline at (877) 565-8860 in the US or (877) 330-6366 in Canada, or log in to our live chat room and ask to speak with a crisis moderator.

      15.1k
      posts
    2. Alcohol Abuse Support Forum

      A support forum for those who have problems with alcohol.

      3.2k
      posts
    3. Drug Abuse Support Forum

      A forum to get help and support if you have drug issues.

      1.7k
      posts
    4. Sexual Abuse and Assault Support Forum

      If you have ever been the victim of sexual abuse, molestation, violent sexual assault, or other sexual violation, you will find help and support here.

      1.5k
      posts
    5. Cutting and Self-Harm Support Forum

      Cutting and other forms of self-harm are an epidemic among transgender teens. This is a support and prevention forum to discuss issues related to these topics.

      4k
      posts
    6. Eating Disorders Support Forum

      A forum to discuss and get support if you have - or think you have - an eating disorder such as anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or compulsive over-eating.

      1.5k
      posts
    7. Victims of Hate Crimes and Violence

      This is a forum to discuss hate and violent crimes against transgender people. It is also a place for victims to talk about what happened to them and gain help and support. Nearly 95% of crimes against us are never reported. If you are a victim, please report it here.

      1.2k
      posts
  3. General Transgender Forums

    1. General Forum

      You may discuss any general topic here.  Religion and politics discussions must be held in their appropriate forums only.

      141.2k
      posts
    2. Introductions Forum

      Welcome!  Tell us about yourself!

      56.9k
      posts
    3. Military Veterans and Active-Duty Service Members

      A place for transgender military veterans and active-duty service members to discuss experiences, benefits, and laws that affect us.

      3.5k
      posts
    4. Coming Out

      A place to discuss coming out to family, friends, and co-workers.

      12.6k
      posts
    5. Research Studies

      From time to time, TransPulse approves academic research studies to solicit input from our community.  Information on these studies will be posted here.

      94
      posts
    6. Member Poetry

      You may post your transgender-related poetry here.  Any poetry posted must be your own and any copyright held must be held by you.  Copyright infringements will be removed as soon as a moderator becomes aware of it, without notice.

      8.7k
      posts
  4. Transition Support Forums

    1. General Transition Issues

      This is a dual-gender forum for both FtMs and MtFs. Issues discussed here affect both groups, such as the WPATH Standards of Care.

      19.3k
      posts
    2. Therapy and Therapists

      Forum to discuss therapy and its effects.

      3.9k
      posts
    3. What Am I? I'm Not Sure.

      New to the site?  Not sure of your identity?  You are not alone.  This is a forum without judgment.  Ask your questions without fear.

      5.9k
      posts
    4. Androgyne Forums

      Androgyny is marked by characteristics of both genders resulting in a non-gendered or gender-neutral appearance.

      4.4k
      posts
    5. Crossdresser Discussions

      A discussion group for crossdressers.

      16.5k
      posts
    6. Female to Male (FtM) Discussions

      A place to discuss topics related to transitioning from female to male.

      47.3k
      posts
    7. Male to Female (MtF) Discussions

      A place to discuss issues related to transitioning from male to female.

      98.3k
      posts
    8. Intersex Discussions

      An intersex individual is a person (or individual of any unisex species) who is born with genitalia and/or secondary sexual characteristics of indeterminate sex, or which combine features of both sexes.

      762
      posts
    9. 535
      posts
    10. Passing As Your Target Gender

      A discussion forum about passing as your true gender.

      7.2k
      posts
    11. Hormone Replacement Therapy

      A place to discuss hormone replacement therapy and its effects.

      13k
      posts
    12. Transition Product Info

      This forum is for information about and reviews of products you use in order to feel more authentic during your transition.  Packers, breast forms, whatever it may be - share your experiences here.  Remember, we do not allow advertisements or sales pitches.

      28
      posts
    13. Real Life Test Discussions

      A place to discuss transition: legal, workplace, name change, driver's license issues, and more. Tips and tricks on getting through a year or two as another gender.

      8.6k
      posts
    14. Transgender Surgeries

      The place to talk about gender affirming surgeries you've had or are planning to have, get physician recommendations, and more.

      8.6k
      posts
    15. Post-Op Discussions

      A place to discuss specific issues or general living after undergoing sex reassignment surgery.

      3.1k
      posts
    16. Transgender Issues

      A forum for discussion of general transgender issues.

      7k
      posts
    17. WPATH Standards of Care

      A place to discuss the existing standards of care and how they apply to us.

      148
      posts
    18. Health Issues

      This forum is a place to discuss the various aches, pains, and other complaints we all have.  Please avoid playing doctor or applying your diagnosis or treatment to other members' situations - only a visit to a qualified health care professional can determine the right course of treatment.

      255
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    19. Diet and Exercise

      Many people understand that it is difficult to lose weight after starting hormones.  This a forum to discuss diet and exercise during and after medical transition.

      2.7k
      posts
    20. Fashion

      A place to discuss fashion for all members, including clothing questions, sizing, and more.

      8.5k
      posts
    21. Beauty

      Discuss beauty and cosmetics tips and tricks here.

      2.7k
      posts
  5. Career and Workplace Issues

    1. Job Search

      Searching for work is one of the biggest challenges faced by the transgender community.  Here you can ask for advice on the process.

      149
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    2. Academia

      If you're a student or if you work in the education field, this is the forum to discuss issues surrounding your work.

      49
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    3. Corporate and Office Environments

      This forum is a catch-all for the nine-to-fivers, whether you're an administrative assistant, an executive, or anywhere in between.

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    4. Health Care and Social Services

      If you work in health care, social services, hospice, or another related industry, your workplace questions can be addressed here.

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    5. Law Enforcement and Emergency Response

      Law enforcement and corrections officers, firefighters, EMS employees, dispatchers, and others who work in emergency response can use this forum to discuss their workplace issues.

      • No posts here yet
    6. Service and Hospitality Industries

      Retail, food service, restaurant, hotel, and other service industry employees can find help with their workplace issues here.

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    7. Other Fields

      If your career field doesn't have a specific category above, you can get advice on workplace issues here.

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  6. News, Activism, Politics, and Events

    1. News

      This is the place to discuss news topics that affect our community. Discussions related to politics and activism should be posted here as well. This is also the place to list upcoming conferences and other gatherings.

      17.9k
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    2. Uplifting News

      A place for news and events that lift the spirits.

      670
      posts
    3. Politics

      Discussion forum for political topics, both general and specific to the transgender community.

      3.5k
      posts
    4. Transgender Activism

      Transgender activism and protests.

      1.1k
      posts
    5. Events, Conferences, and Gatherings

      Events and conferences of interest to the trans community.

      633
      posts
  7. Parents, Family, and Friends of Transgender Individuals

    1. Parents of Transgender Children Support Forum

      A place for parents of transgender kids to discuss their problems and concerns.

      4.9k
      posts
    2. Family and Friends of Transgender People

      A place for partners, wives, husbands, significant others, friends, and family of transgender people to discuss their concerns and get advice.

      5.3k
      posts
  8. Spirituality

    1. Buddhism

      Buddhism.

      229
      posts
    2. Christianity

      Christianity, all sects.

      2.2k
      posts
    3. Mormonism

      Mormonism.
       

      491
      posts
    4. Hinduism

      Hinduism.

      30
      posts
    5. Islam

      Islam.

      78
      posts
    6. Judaism

      Judaism.

      214
      posts
    7. Two-Spirit

      Two-Spirit faiths, both Native American and other.

      136
      posts
    8. Wicca

      Wicca.

      197
      posts
    9. Other Faiths

      Other religions and spiritual beliefs.
       

      338
      posts
    10. Non-Deistic Spirituality

      Non-deistic spirituality.

      239
      posts
  9. Entertainment

    1. Movies

      Discuss and review movies.  Nothing beyond an "R" rating.

      2.2k
      posts
    2. Television

      What do you - or don't you - like on TV, cable, and streaming services?

      2.3k
      posts
    3. Jokes and Humor

      Jokes and humor. Keep it clean. No ethnic or other derogatory jokes. What makes you laugh?

      1.7k
      posts
    4. Games and Gaming

      Board games, card games, video games - you name it.  What do you play?

      3k
      posts
    5. Books

      Books and book reviews, favorite authors, favorite genres, and more.

      1.2k
      posts
    6. Videos

      A place for your YouTube and other video links.  PG13 or below.  No underwear shots.  People must be fully clothed.  Instructional videos related to the trans community should also be posted here.

      265
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    7. Music

      What sort of music do you - or don't you - enjoy?

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      posts
    8. Artwork

      This is for your artwork, not someone else's copyrighted art.  Because of bandwidth limits, you should use the insert image option and link to the image on your Photobucket, Imgur, or other storage account, or your own web space.  Images uploaded to the forum will be deleted.  Images must be site friendly / age-suitable or they will be deleted.

      1.5k
      posts
    9. Gadgets and Tech

      This is a place to discuss the ever-changing landscape of technology.

      96
      posts
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  • Recent Posts

    • Susan R
      Yes, I only mentioned “political beliefs” in case your children were older. It can make all the difference in the world. My oldest daughter has always been bi so I thought for sure she’d be completely accepting. It might have been if it wasn’t for the fact that she married one of the biggest trump supporters this side of the Rockies one week prior to my coming out to the world.   Oh, I believe that is the most accepting age. My grand children are all ages 9 thru 13. My experience says yes there are many successful outcomes in that age range. It’s not as common reading about unsuccessful outcomes with children. I think one of the more important things when you come out to them is to make sure you let them know you’ll always be there for them and your love for them will not change but only grow stronger.   Best of luck, Jade. I know it’ll be emotional and difficult at the beginning but you’ll do fine.   Susan R🌷  
    • KMTAL
      I do not think so. For now, our lives do not matter to many or most of the general public. Sadly I worry if we will need an Emmet Till or Matthew Shepard moment, for people to wake up and start marching.
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2020/09/28/transgender-woman-killed-west-philadelphia-shooting-police-say/   By most counts this is murder #28 this year.  Does anyone outside this community even give a damn?   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://losangeles.cbslocal.com/2020/09/28/los-angeles-man-sentenced-25-life-killing-transgender-woman/   Carolyn Marie
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.startribune.com/court-separate-locker-room-violated-transgender-boy-s-right/572564792/     Carolyn Marie
    • Jade Diaz
      I wish I could say I had a better marriage but the truth is it was always pretty rough - mostly because of me and the way I tried to hide the truth from my wife for all those years. The disclosure itself was rough but we got past that rough spot reasonably quickly. We share a common goal of trying to part without causing each other a lot of unnecessary pain (it still hurts of course)   My son is 11 and my daughter is 9. They don't really have "political beliefs" yet but I know this will probably be difficult for them to accept. I have a lot of low key anxiety about it, but at the same time it feels a long way off.   In truth, I spent a decent amount of time reading posts in the forum (including your own previous posts on the topic) - I am left wondering if there have been any "successful" outcomes with children in my age range - I guess your grandchildren would possibly qualify there?   Anyway, thank you for welcoming me. I am looking forward to learning and sharing.
    • Msecret
      Good to know. Thank you again @Abi
    • Dana Michelle
      It turns out that I will have to send pictures of my genitals, but not until I've had several sessions of electrolysis (so the surgeon can see how much progress I'm making). I mentioned my concern to my therapist and she said that anything sent through the health provider's website is very highly encrypted (to comply with HIPPA). I'll probably take the pictures with my desktop computer (which has a lower change of being stolen than a phone) and I'll use the shred command in Linux to delete them once I send them.  
    • Emily michelle
      A sweater dress would be cute. I’ve been drawn to cardigans so far. I have gotten 3 already. I’m pretty much hooked on leggings. I just wish I had the boots to go with them.
    • ElizabethStar
      I've been starting to like fall and the fashions more and more over the last few years.  I have seen so many cute outfits but the one that sticks in my mind is a pair of Uggs, leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. Something about it. Maybe it's the simplicity or the "every girl" look, I don't know. There's just something I love about it.   I really want to get a skirt or two but I just can't decide. I'm drawn to mini and over the knee length ones when I should probably be looking at midis and maxis.   I do, at least, have a sweater dress I crocheted last year. Now that I have some semblance of a female body I can start wearing it.
    • KendraML
      Kendra's life,it has been a discovery of whom I am really.First memories of trying on feminine clothing when I was  14 years and curious how comfortable they were to were.I was in the 8th grade at the time after I got home from school doing my homework first if I had any.Mom was gone at work usually coming home around 6:30 PM.Then it was into my mom's closet trying on a few pieces of clothing of hers on.First one was a very favorite dress of hers,I loved how comfortable it was to wear against my skin and put it back the same way she had it.Then it was a couple tops and skirts of hers putting them the same way she had them.I was lucky too,never got caught in the act knowing when she came home from work.Mom never suspected anything something was going on with me seeing I was normal son of hers.Did try on her bras as well being careful to put them back right as well.Even tried on her heels.This was until I was 15 years old.Things stopped when I was 16 living a life as a normal young man doing anything any male would do thinking I was not really female.Then in 2011,what I did when I was 14 and 15 years old came back.This time it was with trying on my wife's clothes on when she was gone,we were dating and I thought I never got caught.I was wrong,she came home early one day and I thought she was mad at me with the oh crap look on my face at first.Instead,she said I looked good in the dress of hers on I tried on and I would look good dressed as female.Did get the idea of getting a couple of her friends of her involved and I was for it.First stop was to a jewelry store getting my ears pierced.Said clip on earring won't cut it also buying me a pair of 2 inch hoop earrings too.Then it was to a second hand store finding me a black knee length dress also finding the perfect pair of 3 inch black heels to go with the dress.Did get fitted for a bra too also get a pair of panties too.A friend of hers had a brunette wig that said my name on.Another friend of her taught me make up application.Said in 6 weeks I was going out with them for the first time.I thought cool,it took me practice to get everything right.My wife was surprised I got it right in 3 tries.Then it was a Saturday,Kendra finally came out 6 weeks after this happened.All said I looked good dressed as a woman and they were right.I loved it and it was part time at first.Then in 2015,I knew I wanted to stay as Kendra in 2016.Began the hair removal which took a year and told my wife I wanted to be Kendra fulltime in 2016.She fully loved the idea and said I look better as Kendra which I agreed with her 100%.I saw wearing of the male wardrobe was getting boring and liked the female wardrobe better.The plans went great with us and tough part was telling my mom she was going to have a new daughter in her life.She saw me as her son.It was in October of 2015 I told her I was going fulltime as female on January 1st,2016.She was speechless,gave her time and space to think things over on this.Finally on January 1st,2016,I said goodbye to my life as male stepping in a salon with the staff ready.I had good long hair which was washed and permanent hair extensions put in also my hair styled,make up and nails done too.When everything was done I loved the results having a reveal party and was surprised my mom was there.My wife loved it,she loved it right away and everyone else said I must be much happier now.Wife even said I look better as a woman.Then I saw the look on my mom's face and said she thought things over good.Finally told me that she finally accepts it and knows she has a daughter that is finally happy.I was glad she came to terms about it.Kendra and I were in the 3rd year of our marriage when this happened and say it brought us together more.In 2017,had my breast augmentation and a trachea shave done.I have a 16 year old son,he was 12 when I went fulltime,he learned to adjust to the changes very well.I taught him can't live with a struggle in your life holding you back.He usually calls me Kendra most of the time now seeing I live a happy life now.
    • Jacqui
      @Willow and @QuestioningAmber, thanks for your thoughtful replies!   Willow, while I am grateful for your kind, supportive words, I'm not sure I deserve all that much credit!  Only my gender therapist is going to deal with me face-to-face as Jacqui.  You go out as Willow when you are in Charleston, where multiple people know you as her.  What's more, Jacqui has never 'put herself together' yet (my profile pic is courtesy of FaceApp, using a 10-year old picture of me).  Willow has a look already -- hairstyle, clothes, jewelry (I love your starfish earrings, by the way) -- and you have faced someplace in the world as your true self.  I am dieting, letting my hair grow, and doing a lot of planning, but that's it for now (unless my self-acceptance takes the form of a step-wise progression where I eventually wind up attending my therapy sessions in full feminine regalia -- talk about a wow moment!  I think I'd have to find a 'big sister' to help me get to that point.  Right now I have trouble visualizing myself that way just walking from my car to the therapist's door!)   By the way, when you are in Charleston, have you ever tried the restaurant called "Husk"?  It's supposed to be pretty special -- all locally-sourced cuisine.  I read about it in a New Yorker article some years ago.   Amber, I'm glad that you are finding opportunities to use your preferred name (which is beautiful, by the way).  I'm a little surprised your therapist has not offered to use your preferred name in your sessions (unless they are not doing gender therapy with you).    
    • Jandi
      Sheesh
    • KendraML
      Looking towards it and always wanted it,we always worked together very well knowing I would be good at it.Two other people applied for it,they liked my resume better
    • ElizabethStar
      I almost went with the name Sheila, it was pretty high on my list. I chose Star for my middle name so I could have something that sounded fun and spunky. But I like the way it sounds, Elizabeth-Star and If I want I can just go by Star since it will be a legal part of my name. When I updated my Facebook it says Star is not real name and I will have to furnish legal proof in order to use it although other people have used it. I can't say if they had problems or not but it's silly that a computer is telling me what I can use for a name.
    • MomTGDaughter
      I named her Sheela, still deciding on a middle name. 
    • ElizabethStar
      My first Monday went pretty good. It was slow so I kept score to see how it went. I receive a total of 51 calls. I got my name right on 48 of the calls but I had 2 customer ask for me by my dead name so I only dropped the ball 1 time. I was ma'am and sir 1 time each  by customers. The customer that sir-ed me obviously didn't listen to my introduction as I got my name right. Our IT guy also called me sir, literally, right after we correctly my name on my mobile email we forgot to check.   I only got dead named about a half dozen times by co-workers. Most of them awkwardly corrected themselves right away so I let it go. I will give them a little more time since it's only been official for 2 full days but I'm going to start gently correcting people when they get it wrong or just flat-out ignore them. I figure eventually they'll get tired of being corrected or ignored and get it right.   So much is happening here. Reaching mile stone, new jobs, new experiences and a slightly problematic recovery. I do read every post on this thread and wish I had a higher capacity for expressing how I feel for everyone here and what your all going through. You are all amazing and have helped me more that you will ever know.       Lots of Love        
    • Berni
      Its Tuesday morning here in Sydney, and I've just put on the second pot of coffee for the day. @KymmieL, its also 22 degrees here today ... but 22C ... so 74F? Absolutely glorious morning. If I wasn't recovering from surgery I would be out on by bike turning over the pedals and enjoying the morning sunshine.   Tuesday is, and has been fro the past 18 months, electrolysis day!  I both love and hate Tuesdays. Hate because I cant shave today and the tiniest hair on my face is dysphoric for me. But love it because, despite the pain, ever little pin prick is one less hair I will have to ever shave again. We (the technician and I) have branched out over the last few weeks to work on my eyebrows. This week I have left mine to grow unchecked for 5 days! Its looking really wild up there this morning. Can't wait until this afternoon when they have all been zapped and I can shave the stragglers and put on some makeup.   Kylie, Im sorry to hear about your pain and I hope the oxycodone does the trick for you. I had a little pain last week, but found panedeine forte did the trick ... but I realise my pain was nothing like the pain you must be feeling. So ... hugs.   @ElizabethStar, Im so looking forward to hearing how your first day as Elizabeth went - I hope everyone at work was lovely to you. So exciting!   @Jacqui congratulations on using your preferred name! I had a similar experience at the hospital last week. I told the nurse I was on HRT for gender dysphoria and she then immediately asked me what my preferred pronouns were. I panicked! No one had ever asked me that before! I mumbled something like "I don't care..." but she began calling me "she" and "her" from then on and so did all of the other staff. It was wonderful!   @KendraML congratulations on the new job! I hope it turns out to be everything you hoped for.   @Bri2020 A Sephora makeup consult would be a dream come true for me. I don't yet have the courage to try ... maybe next year after the HRT faeries have done some more work ...   @Mmindy glad you enjoyed the shopping. Is the a sub on here where we show off clothes and styles? Id really like some fresh ideas. Maybe you can post some pics?
    • Carolyn Marie
      I agree with you, Sally.  Fall & winter are my favorite seasons for clothes, but here in the southwest it isn't cold for very long, usually.  I have a couple of sweater dresses, along with many, many sweaters.  One of my favorites is a duster, and another is a car coat.  I can't wear boots any longer b/c of my feet, but they've always been my favorites.  I have a few long skirts, too.    Happy shopping, everyone!   Carolyn Marie
    • HollyNoel
      @Kylie. I forgot that I'm going to need to see a gynecologist after I get my bottom surgery.. lol. Oh the joy of womanhood. I'm going to need a gynecological exam, a mammogram, a prostate exam, and a colonoscopy.  Is there anything else that a doctor will have to do to either my bottom or my chest. lol
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