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By Alexxiss · Posted
There’s no requirement to disclose that you will be transitioning. It’s not your hiring manager’s business, nor the lady at the front desk, nor the owner. When you are ready to transition you may do so in states with protections for trans people. There’s a misconception that you’re doing your employer or future employer or hopeful employer wrong by “hiding” your trans status and future transition plans. It doesn’t matter legally or morally. You don’t owe any corporate or private or public institution of alerting them to your plans. Your transition is irrelevant and distracting to the point of the interview. You are consuming the company’s time during an interview. Keep the focus on your qualifications, personality and technical abilities and general competency to fill a need and turn that company a profit. -
By Alexxiss · Posted
It depends on what you’ll present as. Since you’ll be presenting as male then there’s no need to inform them of your trans status at any point of the hiring/interview process. If you plan on transitioning in a year or six months or even 2 months then just be prepared to contact HR once you’re ready to come out to your coworkers and require people call you your chosen name. This way you can avoid unlawful discrimination pre employment as its nearly impossible to prove discrimination on the basis of anything in hiring without a consistent proven track record of certain well qualified minority applicants otherwise denied employment. Usually you can begin presenting as your gender identity without documentation. Another woman here said her job required legal paperwork for them to honor the name change at all. Most people will find their company will honor a name change in email, verbal address, and memos without documentation. Mind you alot of forum members come from all across the globe, so check your laws and company policy. -
By Lexi C · Posted
I had a lot of bad once, but i had one fun one I was cleaning one of long time customer house. She is a wonderful woman. I been fully out to all my clients for well over 2yrs. She was on the phone with her daughter and the conversation want like this "Alex is here." she look over at me "I mean Lexi is here. He such a great guy." Again she looks over at me " I mean she sucha great guy, NOT a GUY.. a Girl. He is such a great Girl." She look over at me again her face a little red " Jesus f chirst!!! SHE IS A SHE not he, and I love how hard and special he make me feel." she look at me again her face was all red. I could not stop laughing., I yell out " Veronica just hang up the phone before we both have a heart attack." Love that woman. and when i get down that moment always make me laugh -
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By Lexi C · Posted
Thank you ladies...Just don't want to end Homeless again. Cause i got to tell it suck. Esp in NYC in early March until late April. Shay I will def check on the sites. But i have no problem with the coast of the surgeries , cause Medical with cover most it. It's the coast after....The time off from my business, The coast of recovery..the little things which eventually be come one big thing. Ty again for your support. Totally cool -
By Lexi C · Posted
Teri Mary i agree with you both. When I every I am in a Lesbian bar or Gay Bar in noho or West Hollywood..I feel super uncomfortable. Alexxiss Dig that Quote . Cause to be honest that exactly how i feel. I trying just be a cutie version of my real gender -
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By Alexxiss · Posted
“I found this in the Pinned thread on the Transgender Forum, titled “Problematic Language.” “I think one of the big issues comes from within the community itself. "Boy mode" "Girl mode" "boy brain" "girl brain" "Target Gender" "Preferred Pronouns" and so on. We are not becoming our gender. We ARE our gender. We're (some of us) just trying to be cuter versions of our gender “ At the end of the day it doesn’t matter how much you pass and to who. It’s about finding people who acknowledge your competency as a human being to analyze yourself and conclude your gender, even if that means you are one of the other 65. -
By RunValRun · Posted
Thank you @Jani, after some consideration I came to the same conclusion. I have been on this journey much longer and need to remember that others are still acclimating to the “new normal” 😏 -
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By KathyLauren · Posted
I was just about to post this when I saw that @Jani just did, but I'll say it again anyway: Call the GIC now! The wait lists in the UK are so insane that it will be a couple of years before you get in. If you call now, you'll have your foot in the door. That way, if you decide that you are indeed trans, you're on your way and will have less time to wait. If you decide in the meantime that you are not trans, you can always withdraw from the wait list. -
By Michellle · Posted
I bumped into a coworker while opening the door for the restroom. I was going in and he was coming out. He backed up against the door and said “woh I thought you were going to grab my crotch.” I know he thinks I like guys. I was taking back by that comment. My male ego almost kicked in because I felt like telling him to F off. But I kept it cool and just laughed it off. I don’t know how much longer I can ignore his ignorant comments. Next time I will be ready with a arsonal of comebacks. There is only so much I can take before I snap. I treat people with respect and kindnesses and expect the same in return. No one else at work has a issue with me and I am grateful. He better watch it , these hormones make me fiery...lol -
By Jani · Posted
What I wrote wasn't earth shattering news. You've written a bit here and it seems obvious to me which direction you need to move. Call you GIC, the wait list is long I've heard. It may be a year, and you can always cancel if things change. In the meantime talking with others is good but be aware of those who have their own agenda. You make all the decisions in this. Its about you and no one else. Jani -
By Luhleleri · Posted
thank you so much, i really needed to hear something like that to be honest. i keep having doubts like “what if the dysphoria isn’t strong enough”, which i think is mostly due to my generations obsession with the dysphoria debate/ tumblr discourse, along with the thing where people get accused of being “trans trenders”. which makes me wonder if i’m just gnc cis and confused because my dysphoria isn’t particularly strong and it sort of disappears and reappears. i think i’m gonna wait a little while before i take any action, since i want to be 100% sure that i’m trans and that this is the right thing for me to do before i take any lore steps. i think talking about it on forums like this is really helpful, so thank you to you all! i really needed to hear other people’s opinions on this because my brian was just in a gender tangle. for now i’m just gonna work through my thoughts/ emotions by chatting on forums like this and talking to my bf about it. just to make sure i entirely know that that i’m trans. -
By Jani · Posted
If you feel so strongly about living as a male then, non binary is probably not for you. It may be easier to explain, as you note. I think you need to initiate a plan to move forward. Contact the NHS GIC near you to get on the list for services. I think you'd do well. Cheers, Jani -
By Kylara Anne Bagwell · Posted
Sharing this most personal part of my life is like the clouds parting and the sunshine beaming through. Live your life not a lie and be the very best you that you are meant to be. Never doubt nor look back if it makes you feel whole. We have to live to our fullest ability or we will never be who we are supposed to be. Kylara Ann Bagwell -
By Jani · Posted
Nice list @SaraAW. Thanks! Some great songs there! Welcome to the thread Niamh! -
By Luhleleri · Posted
i’ve been thinking about it more, and i guess i do have dysphoria (not diagnosed yet of course), at least to some extent. it’s pretty mild in comparison to others’ experiences, as it only occurs when i think about how much happier/ how ‘right’ i would feel as a guy. it’s like i figured out i could live as a guy if i wanted to, and now knowing i’m not living as a guy/ don’t have a male body kinda hurts. it’s weird, it’s like dysphoria that wasn’t initially present, but now it is. i do want to be guy. i think i’d be happier as a guy. maybe that’s just because guys have it better off in life. but i do think it would feel right. although when i think about it, some aspects don’t feel quite right? maybe i’m more trans mac’s non binary rather than entirely male? but i know i’ve looked at male friendship groups multiple times and thought “wow i wish that were me”. so i’m not really sure. also on the non-binary thing - i remember when i was a kid i used to look androgynous so i’d do this thing where i pretended i was presenting a show where people had to guess if i was girl or a boy, i’m not sure if that’s a sign of me not being cis of if that was just my response to the fact i looked androgynous. ignoring all the ways it would feel “right” living as a guy/ how i feel like i might be male, i also feel like i want to be male. i just think it’s be nice? i just feel like it would make me happy. i feel like it would be easier to explain to others than being non binary too, which might be the reason i keep leaning away from thinking i’m non binary... -
By Jani · Posted
Thats' good. Take a moment and relax. You'll be fine!
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