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  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Forums

  1. Site Help

    1. Questions and Answers

      Found a bug?  Feature not working as it should?  Have a question about how to use the forums, a resource on the site, or the chat rooms?  This is the place to get help.

       

      This is not a forum to ask transition, hormone, or other questions.  It is for questions about the website and technical issues.

      220
      posts
  2. Issue-Specific Support Forums

    1. Suicide Prevention

      Most transgender people have attempted suicide at least once in their lives. If you have, please lend your support here to those who are having a bad time now. Suicide is never the answer. If you are suicidal, call the Trans Lifeline at (877) 565-8860 in the US or (877) 330-6366 in Canada, or log in to our live chat room and ask to speak with a crisis moderator.

      14,408
      posts
    2. Alcohol Abuse Support Forum

      A support forum for those who have problems with alcohol.

      3,085
      posts
    3. Drug Abuse Support Forum

      A forum to get help and support if you have drug issues.

      1,639
      posts
    4. Sexual Abuse and Assault Support Forum

      If you have ever been the victim of sexual abuse, molestation, violent sexual assault, or other sexual violation, you will find help and support here.

      1,415
      posts
    5. Cutting and Self-Harm Support Forum

      Cutting and other forms of self-harm are an epidemic among transgender teens. This is a support and prevention forum to discuss issues related to these topics.

      3,921
      posts
    6. Eating Disorders Support Forum

      A forum to discuss and get support if you have - or think you have - an eating disorder such as anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, or compulsive over-eating.

      1,508
      posts
    7. Victims of Hate Crimes and Violence

      This is a forum to discuss hate and violent crimes against transgender people. It is also a place for victims to talk about what happened to them and gain help and support. Nearly 95% of crimes against us are never reported. If you are a victim, please report it here.

      1,195
      posts
  3. General Transgender Forums

    1. General Forum

      You may discuss any general topic here.  Religion and politics discussions must be held in their appropriate forums only.

      132,812
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    2. Introductions Forum

      Welcome!  Tell us about yourself!

      53,880
      posts
    3. Military Veterans and Active-Duty Service Members

      A place for transgender military veterans and active-duty service members to discuss experiences, benefits, and laws that affect us.

      3,424
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    4. Coming Out

      A place to discuss coming out to family, friends, and co-workers.

      11,364
      posts
    5. Research Studies

      From time to time, TransPulse approves academic research studies to solicit input from our community.  Information on these studies will be posted here.

      80
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    6. Member Poetry

      You may post your transgender-related poetry here.  Any poetry posted must be your own and any copyright held must be held by you.  Copyright infringements will be removed as soon as a moderator becomes aware of it, without notice.

      8,546
      posts
  4. Transition Support Forums

    1. General Transition Issues

      This is a dual-gender forum for both FtMs and MtFs. Issues discussed here affect both groups, such as the WPATH Standards of Care.

      18,317
      posts
    2. Therapy and Therapists

      Forum to discuss therapy and its effects.

      3,693
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    3. What Am I? I'm Not Sure.

      New to the site?  Not sure of your identity?  You are not alone.  This is a forum without judgment.  Ask your questions without fear.

      5,262
      posts
    4. Androgyne Forums

      Androgyny is marked by characteristics of both genders resulting in a non-gendered or gender-neutral appearance.

      4,349
      posts
    5. Crossdresser Discussions

      A discussion group for crossdressers.

      16,395
      posts
    6. Female to Male (FtM) Discussions

      A place to discuss topics related to transitioning from female to male.

      46,784
      posts
    7. Male to Female (MtF) Discussions

      A place to discuss issues related to transitioning from male to female.

      95,698
      posts
    8. Intersex Discussions

      An intersex individual is a person (or individual of any unisex species) who is born with genitalia and/or secondary sexual characteristics of indeterminate sex, or which combine features of both sexes.

      761
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    9. 418
      posts
    10. Passing As Your Target Gender

      A discussion forum about passing as your true gender.

      6,827
      posts
    11. Hormone Replacement Therapy

      A place to discuss hormone replacement therapy and its effects.

      12,567
      posts
    12. Transition Product Info

      This forum is for information about and reviews of products you use in order to feel more authentic during your transition.  Packers, breast forms, whatever it may be - share your experiences here.  Remember, we do not allow advertisements or sales pitches.

      22
      posts
    13. Real Life Test Discussions

      A place to discuss transition: legal, workplace, name change, driver's license issues, and more. Tips and tricks on getting through a year or two as another gender.

      8,586
      posts
    14. Transgender Surgeries

      The place to talk about gender affirming surgeries you've had or are planning to have, get physician recommendations, and more.

      7,552
      posts
    15. Post-Op Discussions

      A place to discuss specific issues or general living after undergoing sex reassignment surgery.

      2,964
      posts
    16. Transgender Issues

      A forum for discussion of general transgender issues.

      6,662
      posts
    17. WPATH Standards of Care

      A place to discuss the existing standards of care and how they apply to us.

      138
      posts
    18. Health Issues

      This forum is a place to discuss the various aches, pains, and other complaints we all have.  Please avoid playing doctor or applying your diagnosis or treatment to other members' situations - only a visit to a qualified health care professional can determine the right course of treatment.

      165
      posts
    19. Diet and Exercise

      Many people understand that it is difficult to lose weight after starting hormones.  This a forum to discuss diet and exercise during and after medical transition.

      2,642
      posts
    20. Fashion

      A place to discuss fashion for all members, including clothing questions, sizing, and more.

      8,376
      posts
    21. Beauty

      Discuss beauty and cosmetics tips and tricks here.

      2,459
      posts
  5. Career and Workplace Issues

    1. Job Search

      Searching for work is one of the biggest challenges faced by the transgender community.  Here you can ask for advice on the process.

      107
      posts
    2. Academia

      If you're a student or if you work in the education field, this is the forum to discuss issues surrounding your work.

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    3. Corporate and Office Environments

      This forum is a catch-all for the nine-to-fivers, whether you're an administrative assistant, an executive, or anywhere in between.

      4
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    4. Health Care and Social Services

      If you work in health care, social services, hospice, or another related industry, your workplace questions can be addressed here.

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    5. Law Enforcement and Emergency Response

      Law enforcement and corrections officers, firefighters, EMS employees, dispatchers, and others who work in emergency response can use this forum to discuss their workplace issues.

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    6. Service and Hospitality Industries

      Retail, food service, restaurant, hotel, and other service industry employees can find help with their workplace issues here.

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    7. Other Fields

      If your career field doesn't have a specific category above, you can get advice on workplace issues here.

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  6. News, Activism, Politics, and Events

    1. News

      This is the place to discuss news topics that affect our community. Discussions related to politics and activism should be posted here as well. This is also the place to list upcoming conferences and other gatherings.

      17,495
      posts
    2. Uplifting News

      A place for news and events that lift the spirits.

      543
      posts
    3. Politics

      Discussion forum for political topics, both general and specific to the transgender community.

      3,376
      posts
    4. Transgender Activism

      Transgender activism and protests.

      1,039
      posts
    5. Events, Conferences, and Gatherings

      Events and conferences of interest to the trans community.

      625
      posts
  7. Parents, Family, and Friends of Transgender Individuals

    1. Parents of Transgender Children Support Forum

      A place for parents of transgender kids to discuss their problems and concerns.

      4,832
      posts
    2. Family and Friends of Transgender People

      A place for partners, wives, husbands, significant others, friends, and family of transgender people to discuss their concerns and get advice.

      5,109
      posts
  8. Spirituality

    1. Buddhism

      Buddhism.

      224
      posts
    2. Christianity

      Christianity, all sects.

      2,184
      posts
    3. Mormonism

      Mormonism.
       

      487
      posts
    4. Hinduism

      Hinduism.

      30
      posts
    5. Islam

      Islam.

      74
      posts
    6. Judaism

      Judaism.

      211
      posts
    7. Two-Spirit

      Two-Spirit faiths, both Native American and other.

      115
      posts
    8. Wicca

      Wicca.

      186
      posts
    9. Other Faiths

      Other religions and spiritual beliefs.
       

      335
      posts
    10. Non-Deistic Spirituality

      Non-deistic spirituality.

      239
      posts
  9. Entertainment

    1. Movies

      Discuss and review movies.  Nothing beyond an "R" rating.

      2,187
      posts
    2. Television

      What do you - or don't you - like on TV, cable, and streaming services?

      2,314
      posts
    3. Jokes and Humor

      Jokes and humor. Keep it clean. No ethnic or other derogatory jokes. What makes you laugh?

      1,613
      posts
    4. Games and Gaming

      Board games, card games, video games - you name it.  What do you play?

      2,988
      posts
    5. Books

      Books and book reviews, favorite authors, favorite genres, and more.

      1,167
      posts
    6. Videos

      A place for your YouTube and other video links.  PG13 or below.  No underwear shots.  People must be fully clothed.  Instructional videos related to the trans community should also be posted here.

      206
      posts
    7. Music

      What sort of music do you - or don't you - enjoy?

      4,414
      posts
    8. Artwork

      This is for your artwork, not someone else's copyrighted art.  Because of bandwidth limits, you should use the insert image option and link to the image on your Photobucket, Imgur, or other storage account, or your own web space.  Images uploaded to the forum will be deleted.  Images must be site friendly / age-suitable or they will be deleted.

      1,366
      posts
    9. Gadgets and Tech

      This is a place to discuss the ever-changing landscape of technology.

      44
      posts
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  • Recent Posts

    • Jackie C.
      Honestly, I've had that fantasy. Generally female morphology, female gonads, but both sexual organs. It was a pre-transition thing though. I haven't been there... outside of a dream or two... in a while. I've heard other people talking about it though in less wholesome forums.   Hugs!
    • Devin
      Does anyone feel like they should have both a vagina and a penis?
    • jayjeep
      I had the same issue with my Top surgery. My surgeon gave me solace. Said to take them before surgery and after. They helped but it took about 5 days for them to work. Lots of water. High fiber fruits like Blueberries, Bananas, and apples. I was lucky I never had to take any pain meds. I was sick as a dog day 1 but that is because I got a migraine right after surgery. I only needed advil for about a week. I will be 3 months post op next week. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      Welcome to Trans Pulse, Devin.  Big congrats on your progress so far.  That's great for someone so young.  Please have a look around and post in any thread that looks interesting, or start some threads of your own.  We'll be here to provide whatever advice or info that we can.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Jackie C.
      Meh, labels. The only one that matters is "Devin." Welcome to Transpulse!   I think you'll find us a welcoming and supportive community. Please look around, ask questions and join the discussion! We're happy to meet you!   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      Oh ouch. Sorry to hear that @TammyAnne. The finger thing, not the laser hair removal thing. I'm happy about the laser so long as it doesn't turn you into a crispy critter (I personally go up like a magnesium flare with lasers, but as you can see I'm about two shades darker than 'Albino.').   Hugs!
    • Devin
      Hello everyone! My name is Devin. I am 19 years old and identify as non-binary. Sometimes I will also call myself transmasculine. As far as my romantic and sexual orientation goes, I mostly just call myself queer because I am unsure of how to identify. Also, most orientations assume you are a binary gender, which I am not. I have a younger sibling who is also trans/nb. I have been out as trans for about three years. I have a top surgery consult in March, and hopefully will have surgery in May or June. My parents are making me wait to start testosterone until after I have top surgery. My parents are my legal guardians, so even though I am over 18, I can not make medical decisions without their consent. I am fortunate to have had my name legally changed when I was under 18.  I recently just got my gender marker on my driver's license to say "X".
    • DeeDee
      Water, is definitely top of the list. Ice water is better than lukewarm water. Hydration is so important! Also things like grape/prune/pineapple juice and overripe bananas but definitely keep an eye on it. Also Hi  
    • Jackie C.
      Seriously, we're all different. The only label that matters is "You." You need to do whatever it is that makes you comfortable in your own body. Nothing else really matters.   Hugs!
    • Jackie C.
      OK, firstly yes there are support groups for families of transgender people. In our community, it's about twenty minutes from here. Susan went once, did not care for the vibe and never went back. Your mileage may, of course, vary.   So as to the actual conversation. Have a plan B. What do you do if she takes it poorly? Spend some time thinking about that. I didn't and got lucky. There's no guarantee that you won't need someplace to crash afterwards. Now, I don't personally know anyone that's been immediately kicked out of the house (extreme example), plan for the worst, hope for the best, right?   My therapist told me that I should walk my wife into this. I was supposed to start with cross dressing and say it was a purely sexual thing, then work my way up to coming out as trans. I didn't do that. I sat down on the bed and said I had something important to tell her. That immediately put her on the defensive, so you might want to ease into it a little more than I did. Next I opened with a joke. Not a great joke, but I thought, "Let's walk back the tension." That was an awful idea. Don't do that. I came straight out after that and said, "Well, I'm trans."   That took her a minute to process. I let her have it. I sat beside her and waited. After a very long pause that felt like hours, she slowly nodded and decided that she was OK with it. In so many words she said, "I think I'm OK with this. I like boobs." Then we kissed. She had more questions afterwards. The first one was, "Have you been wearing my underwear?" Of course I wasn't. There was no possible way I'd even fit into her underwear. Besides, I'd bought my own.   Then came a couple of ground rules. At first, she wasn't ready to see me dressed until she had some more time to process things. I was fine with that and asked that she give me a warning call when she was on her way home so I could change. She had more questions, so we came up with a system where she'd write down what she thought of during the week and on the weekends I'd answer all her questions to the best of my ability. During this time I reassured her often that while I was finally moving ahead with my life, I very much wanted to take her with me. To some extent we're still doing that and I'm coming up on GCS in ten days. She'll be accompanying me to the doctor and changing my catheter bag until the doctor takes it out a week later.   The ground rules lasted about a month before she asked to see me how I wanted to be seen. She gave my (very fake) breasts a squeeze. I wasn't on HRT yet. Not that they're much to look at even with the hormones. I could really, really use a visit from the boob fairy. Then we hugged, kissed and that was the end of that. I could be Robyn full time. She still has questions sometimes and I always do my best to answer them, but it's not like we ever really finish turning into the person we're supposed to be until we lay down to die.   I hope you find some of that useful. I value honesty too and it was killing me not to let Susan know.   Hugs!
    • DeeDee
      Tristantulaine, it can be really be disconcerting to open up and share the things that are bothering us, especially when we haven't told anyone else. One of the reasons this site is fantastic is because you can open up here and know that the worst thing that will happen is that people know and understand how you feel.  Don't worry about finding the right label, they are handy to express what you are thinking and feeling but just get to that place where you are happy being you no matter where that is. 
    • Jackie C.
      Oh, derp. Also forgot water. Drink lots and lots of fluids. It helps immensely.   Hugs!
    • TammyAnne
      Well, it seems that I must have broken my finger. So much for finger picking on my guitar. I'm going to have to splint the silly thing and make do for a while. TA
    • Tristantulaine
      Thank you.  That post was so terrifying to write, I think because there was this weird part of me going: "your being too open and personal about stuff you shouldn't talk about" that comes from a very strict upbringing.  Simultaneously there was a part of me saying: "your not enough to post here, you dont know what you want yet so this is not ok."  I appreciate this so much!   I think the biggest issue I am struggling with through it is this entire urge to define it and put a label on it.  Which is why it was a relief to say this is ok for now (of course the ensuing freakout really undermines that lol) People have told me I have body dysmorphia for a bit now,  it isnt a secret that I am not happy with my top, and that a reduction will make it better.  But I know it isnt just that.  There is a lack of "girl" and yet not quite a "boy" that I feel.  I like the word Androgyne.  It feels "right" somehow.
    • TammyAnne
      Out of the four big surgeries I had, two of them really put my digestive tract to sleep for a while. I wasn't supposed to be discharged from hospital until things woke back up, but I was on heavy opiodes  and things weren't much more than a rumble. Oatmeal is very good for that. It is very normal to have severe constipation from the painkillers. However, if your kidneys also shut down, or your digestive tract doesn't "wake up" after two weeks, get to the doctor! You will know if things are working. Just the feeling of things going on will alert you. TA
    • TammyAnne
      Finished coffee a long while back. Then spent three hours shaving to get ready for my first laser hair removal appointment tomorrow. I hope they're not too stringent about my shaving, it's difficult to reach some places. After shave I felt around, then took my balding clippers to leftover fuzzy places hoping it won't grow in too fast. Caution: never use the clippers on your tender parts, I found that out the hard way years ago. And of course, I'm such a dummy. I always keep my backup data RAID with me on in a safe place. I bent over to unplug it, lost my balance starting to fall. But when I reached out to catch myself, all my weight went on the middle finger of my right hand, bending it backwards severely. It's sore and swollen, but I guess I'll be alright. Just red faced. TA
    • secondlook
      I really sympathize, Isaac. When I had my gallbladder out years ago, the surgeon warned me as he was writing the prescription that I would have great difficulty with bowel movements unless I could resist the urge to take the vicodin he was prescribing. Basically he was telling me to "man up" and deal with the pain so that my intestines would function properly. I tried to split the difference and skip every other opportunity when I could've taken the pills, and it was brutal. I can't believe they still haven't come up with better options. I'm sorry you're dealing with this same quandary, and I'm sorry I can't be more helpful. But I'm pulling for you!
    • secondlook
      I'm still dreading the biggest conversation I need to have, telling my wife that her husband is going to become a woman. I'm also eager to have that conversation, because I'm big on honesty and also because it's a necessary step before I can make any real progress.   What I'm hoping some of you can help me with is this -- what does a good coming out experience to one's wife look like? To be clear, I'm not expecting her to jump for joy or be anything other than shocked and upset initially, and maybe for quite some time. But for those of you who can say it went more right than wrong, what does that look like? Did you feel like there were certain key moments that if you had handled poorly, it could've gone terribly wrong? Were there resources or links that helped her understand? Are there support groups for women whose husbands come out as transgender? Bottom line, are there respectful, gentle ways I can help her understand that this is a journey on which I want her to come along, and it's not me leaving her behind?   And of course this is a topic I will discuss with my therapist, hopefully as soon as this week. I just was thinking maybe someone would have some relatively positive stories to share.
    • Susan R
      Glad you’re recovering Jani.   Starting my day with some Blueberry coffee my neighbor gave us for Christmas. Mmmm is it good.   Yesterday, my oldest daughter dropped by and to give me my second haircut since starting my transition back in 2018. Some of you old timers may remember the disaster I experienced with my first haircut back in July at a salon in town that sent my into a mild depression. I have to admit I was a bit nervous as my daughter took out the shears but it all turned out great.  Unlike my previous stylist, she actually listened to what I wanted and did a great job, IMO.  It wasn’t anything major just a trim, layering and feathering. Have a great day all, Susan R🌷
    • Jackie C.
      Whelp, things that help me... I'm on a high protein diet so I frequently have this problem.   (1) Moving around. I don't know what kind of restrictions you're on but if you can, work the lower body/abdominal area.    (2) Fiber. I take a lot of fiber supplements.   (3) When all else fails: Laxatives. There are a bunch of over the counter products that can help.   My wife is pointing out that you should check with your doctor on this. If it becomes uncomfortable enough, go to urgent care, that's what they're for.   I hope some of that helps.   Hugs!
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