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Welcome to TransPulse. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It surely is confusing trying to find our transgender identity. It seems the harder we try, the more confusing it becomes. Try to not stress out over it too much. The answers will come eventually. Seeing a gender therapist is a good step in the right direction. While he or she will not tell you what you are, they will lead you in the direction of self discovery. Good luck.
I’m so sorry, I very much understand, and as much as my wife is wonderful and supports me I really do wish she would yell once in a while, I even told her I wish she would yell at me once in a while, that’s just not how she works... she is also someone who loves to be in control, so that’s a very big similarity. I know exactly how you feel, I hate seeing my wife hurt, and confused without a direct path to resolution, while your wife may be very vocal or loud mine is very quiet, and I really think both options are terrible. I think we both seek the approval of our wives, as I know it’s very important to me I can only imagine it must be important to you, and in both our dreamworlds I’m sure our wives are terribly and wonderfully supportive and willing do all sorts of wonderful girly things for us and with us, but the reality is They don’t know what to do with all of this, and I can only say that time will be the one thing we both need to give our wives. I will say that at least the conversation didn’t end in something terrible, and as I’ve often seen or heard things can go terribly wrong with admitting who you are to your wife, but the first step is a positive one, she’s not kicked you out and she told you how much she loves you, that is a very important first step even if we wish for something more. The old joke of course... I think Dev put on the jokes Page, goes something like, my wife accused me of being a cross dresser, so I gathered up her things and left. I guess I could offer a little bit of encouragement as my wife has started being more supportive as time goes by, she even bought me a Home waxing kit, although I don’t know if that’s to lessen the cost of electrolysis or just to be nice and buy me something that she knows I’m going to need. I actually think it would be quite fun for us to do this for each other, she could Use some and I could use a lot!
When I started to consider transition one of my biggest fears was transition in my current company. It is not exactly the most open and friendly environment to undergo transition in. I quietly started looking around for one that has a better culture for its employees and I think I found it!
Just wrapped up my final interview and one of the questions they asked was how will you handle having a transgender woman as one of your direct reports? This question warmed my heart and come to find out I will indeed have just that. The company has very progressive policies around gender and sexuality. Especially when you consider our Midwest location.
I figure that making the switch now then slowly starting my transition at work down the road will be much more comfortable there. The best part is I get to stick with Frontline leadership! I love helping to impact the careers of others and the position is perfect.
Feeling better today than I have in a while!
Hi all! As the title stated, I am new to this site and the LGBT+ community. I'm a 16-year-old, biological female who is extremely confused. The sole reason I joined here is in an effort to explore and understand my gender identity, because for the past four (or more) years, I have been so confused and somewhat uncomfortable with my expression and identity. I tried not having labels and I've tried androgyny, but it just doesn't fit. I have a therapist who suggested going label-less, but I crave labels. I discovered androgyny and transitioning via the Internet. My psychiatrist explained spectrums and such to me, but I didn't feel like a non-binary individual.
All of this leads up to one thing: masculinity. I am severely confused with masculinity - I've always liked the rougher stuff, and I longed for "boy" toys, like Nerf guns. I was content with what I got, like a doll house, but it wasn't something I played with at all, if ever. I'm not the most masculine-acting person, but I'd like to be. I remember when I was much younger I asked my dad for a masculine-scented deodorant and was so happy when I got it. Multiple times I've had dreams of being a biological male and find myself enjoying it greatly. I also hated dresses, and I was always uncomfortable in them, but my mom is confused because I never "acted" uncomfortable. Right now, I love being called a boy's name, he/him, and presenting male. It has come up really suddenly and out of the blue for most of my family, but I've been questioning for years now. That being said, I still have some serious doubts about this, mostly put into place by my mom.
At the same time that I want to socially be recognized as a male, the aspects of femininity stay with me. I am not quite sure what constitutes as dysphoria, but I often have the overwhelming sense that something very basic in my life is just wrong. I do not expect to see a female body when I look in the mirror, but that is what comes back. I had cut my hair very short even before I rediscovered my gender identity. I'd be okay to have a child at some point in my life. I've also been considering long-term changes, such as HRT and surgery, and I find myself liking the idea for when I'm a legal adult. I'm still attracted to males, but seriously doubt my ability to find someone who may like me in spite of the whole issue of gender identity.
That being said, I'd be really excited to hear from anyone. Advice, stories, or even confirmation that I'm in the right place will go a long way! I'd love feedback, so I'm seeking it out now. I am seeing a gender therapist soon (not sure when), so that's something I'm really excited for. Also, I'd really like help determining what is dysphoria and what isn't... I know the bare bones of it, like being uncomfortable with your biological sex, but I often question whether or not that's something I'm actually experiencing. So if anyone knows how to distinguish that, then I'd love to hear. Thank you so much!
I sat down and talked with my Endo today, and she oddly enough happens to be my wife’s Endo chronologist as well so that’s kind of funny. We talked about my goals and what I was trying to achieve and lots of personal things about my wife and myself, I was a little surprised by some of the numbers she was looking at for proper feminization. She was saying she puts patients in the upper 100 range on estradiol, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of estradiol numbers before much beyond 100 but then again she’s a very good endocrinologist and specializes in this field so I’m certainly not going to second-guess her. She did approve of transdermal patches which is what I’ve been using so that works out pretty well and we should have my last blood test results in tomorrow so she can start setting a schedule for adjusting my estrogen level, for now will I’ll be staying with the Spiro and after my orchi we might have a low-dose of that just for a little blood pressure maintanace, but then again there are other, better less risky blood pressure medications that can be gotten now, so who knows what that will look like in the future. She was duly impressed with my breast tissue growth, I really didn’t think it was very impressive, but she seemed to think it was exceptional considering the dosage and time that I had been on HRT. We talked about top surgery goals but so much needs to be done I can’t imagine thinking seriously about that for well over a year or more maybe even two years before I really decide what things are going to land where... I just need to see what the boob faery is going to bring me first and make decisions later. I doubt however that I’ll manage double D’s on my own it’s not very common, so it probably is realistic to think of the top surgery down the road, I really wanna get my girl body perked up and ready and working out in the real world before I go put some chrome on the front!
This sounds like a wonderful experience for everyone involved. And the appearance by a trans woman doctor is inspiring on many levels!! One can certainly appreciate the wisdom of introducing this important topic/information early on, so soon-to-be doctors can become familiar with the many aspects of it. If they relied on our current administration, too many facts would be distorted.
I have my own experience with a urologist. I asked him about taking various meds and how they might relate to HRT hormones, and he said, "I don't know anything about that," and then quickly moved on. And he was the head of a specialty clinic!
Thanks for sharing this, Carolyn Marie.
The benefits of self-acceptance and not having to hide have had a bigger positive impact on my well being than anything else I've done. I hope that you have a similar experience as it's been life changing. Congrats on taking that first step!
That's great, Carolyn. My primary physician is also my HRT provider. She spoke at a recent PFLAG meeting that I attended. She is very proactive and sensitive to the LGBT community. She speaks to other groups concerning how to best care for us. I was very impressed with her knowledge and compassion. I think I hit the jackpot when it comes to my medical part of transition.