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JessicaMW changed their profile photo
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Thanks, Mindy. It has been so far. Tomorrow, work some more on the wife's grand monkey. Got the right side of the hood primed, just need to do a little more work on the left then I can prime it. Then a 600grit wet sand. I promised the wife we would take out the bike this weekend. Kymmie
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Aleksandria joined the community
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Moving on from my Intro Thread
JessicaMW replied to JessicaMW's topic in Male to Female (MtF) Discussions
During my last visit with my psychologist (who has agreed to provide required letters of recommendation along with a colleague to provide the second) we discussed the shift towards my wife's acceptance. It was a long discussion but one point I mentioned was how much the two of us sitting down and watching this documentary helped: The Kings | A transgender love story (2017) -
What Are the Key Findings of the NHS "Cass" Review of Youth Gender Care?
Betty K replied to Carolyn Marie's topic in News
Oops, I did not mean to post that comment yet! I was going to also say, having read a mountain of commentary on the Review, I think Julia Serano’s response (linked by Vicky above) is the most accurate and thorough. You can also read a non-paywalled version at Substack: https://juliaserano.substack.com/p/the-cass-review-wpath-files-and-the To me the three key areas in which the review is deficient are: 1. As has already been said here, its views on social transition; 2. Its attempts to give credence to the “ROGD” theory (without ever actually mentioning ROGD because presumably a canny editor knows that would be too transparently transphobic); 3. To me, most crucially, its claims about trans youth and suicide, which are dealt with summarily in about five pages and do not stand up to any deeper scrutiny. I will be writing about each of these issues in isolation over the next few weeks and appearing on a radio show and podcast to discuss them late in the month. I will post links to these on TP later if anyone is interested. All that said, I actually think it’s dangerous for us to respond with outright vitriol and condemnation to the review since, like any effective piece of disinformation, it does actually contain some factually based and even helpful recommendations. The Tavistock Gender Identity Service really was underfunded and understaffed and certain staff were not adequately trained. Trans kids really were funnelled away from mental-health support once they started gender-affirming care too. So yes, more investment in youth psychology services would help, as would a less centralised model of care, more training in treatment of trans kids, and more research. One last thing for now: beware the claim that Cass ignored 98% of studies. That’s not strictly true. She seems to have taken other studies into account but leaned heavily on the 2% that met her standards. Nor does she ever claim that only randomised controlled trials are good enough evidence to justify the use of blockers for kids; just as with ROGD, she strongly suggests this, but is too canny to say it, because she knows such trials would be impossible. For now, I think the best response to this comes from the Trans Safety Network: “[…] we believe there to be systemic biases in the ways that the review prioritises speculative and hearsay evidence to advance its own recommendations while using highly stringent evidence standards to exclude empirical and observational data on actual patients. “ (https://transsafety.network/posts/tsn-statement-on-cass-final-report/) To me, the scariest aspect of all this is that, if it follows Cass’s recommendations, the NHS will very likely follow Finland’s recent model of trans care, which seems to amount to a prolonged form of conversion therapy. I can’t find the link right now, which is probably lucky for anyone reading this, but I bawled my guts out reading the testimonies of kids who had been mistreated by that system. Truly horrific. To me, at least from my Australian perspective, the Cass Review is the most frightening development in trans rights in recent years. To me, the safe care of trans kids is THE number one issue in politics atm. Ruth Pierce has a good summary of responses from trans folk and their allies sk far: https://ruthpearce.net/2024/04/16/whats-wrong-with-the-cass-review-a-round-up-of-commentary-and-evidence/ -
Sally Stone started following Ignored Post and The Inevitably Awkward Intro
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Welcome to the wide, wild world of transgender, M.A. It can definitively be overwhelming, but everyone here is amazing, so no doubt you'll get bunches of wonderful support. I think you'll be happy you found us.
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@Ladypcnj This is so true. I think all of us here have had a post or two that didn't get a response. Sometimes, it's as simple as adding to your original to post for a clearer explanation, or re-reading what you wrote originally, and rephrasing it. But don't despair, we aren't ignoring you. Hugs, Sally
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So, we left for lunch in our Taos, talked and went to the dealer and came home with the Cadillac.
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Betty K started following What Are the Key Findings of the NHS "Cass" Review of Youth Gender Care?
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What Are the Key Findings of the NHS "Cass" Review of Youth Gender Care?
Betty K replied to Carolyn Marie's topic in News
I have just finished reading the Cass Review, all 380-odd pages of it, and am totally open to questions including via DM if anyone wants more information on it -
Abigail Genevieve started following 8 months in
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What season are you? If you don't know, look around on the internet. Or ask a girl friend.. Maybe someone here is even a color consultant? And there are guides on figure-flattering clothes for all shapes that you should look into. Abby
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awkward-yet-sweet started following The Inevitably Awkward Intro
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Just know that your kids will probably turn out OK, in spite of the chaos. One of my partners was widowed in her very early 30s, left with 3 kids. They're teens now, and one graduated a year ago and is working, but still living at home. A few bumps in the road, but the three are turning into responsible young adults. It is amazing how resilient kids can be. They should be able to handle your changes as well.
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Cindy Lee changed their profile photo
- Yesterday
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Had my time with my 2 long friends I was in the Army with.We went through the photo books and talked memories.They also found about the guy that bullied and sexually assaulted me.He is in prison,sexually assaulted and raped 2 women off base.Doing a 40 year sentence for this and was dishonorable discharged
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Cindy Lee started following 8 months in
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I've been transitioning now for eight months but have been wearing women's clothing for 2+ years. I am over weight and approaching my 72nd birthday. I have purchase my solid color clothing online and recently graduated to 'V' neck tops. I have been hesitant to get anything more girly due to family issues, though with my hair style I am able to totally pass when dressed in a skirt and blouse. About two months ago I finally went and got my nails done (which I truly which I had done long ago) though not red nor pink (again family issues). To date I don't think I am having problems with being trans unlike others seem to have. The biggest problem I am having is with my clothing. Any suggestions my girl friends might have would be greatly appreciated. Cindy
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awkward-yet-sweet started following Ignored Post
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Umm.... if a post is ignored, live with it? My stuff gets ignored sometimes, and its OK. My life is different, and may seem kind of wacky to others. Some folks just can't relate, or if I'm needing advice they just don't have it. Diversity is like that sometimes. If your post gets missed, don't take it personally. Also, stuff that is new on weekends seems to get ignored more, since most folks are busy with family or other stuff during that time. Overall, I think people here are pretty helpful.
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I'd really love a professional stove. There's actually one I want at Lowes, but its like $6k. I've got plenty of money, the issue is that I'm not the queen (king?) of my den. Or even of the kitchen. My partner (husband's wife #1) owns that territory, and she's very attached to what she's got. One of our stoves has 6 burners and a large oven, the other has 4 burners and a regular household sized oven. And of course, there's always the wood-burning equipment. Today was interesting. We had the first campaign fundraiser for our sheriff and my sister. My sister is running to be constable of our township. Pretty sure she'll win, as her opponent is an old dude who is mostly running on "Don't elect a woman for a man's job" What's weird is our sheriff is running as a Democrat, but he's conservative. And his Republican opponent sounds like a leftist. Welcome to Upside-down-ville And of course all the kids got the chance to sit in a sheriff's car, and play with the lights. We had a barbecue lunch and a dessert auction. I baked three apple pies for it, and I was shocked that they sold for $20 each, since my cooking isn't that great. My partner made her famous "Chocotorta." It's like a chocolate layer cake with cream cheese, sweetened condensed milk, and it tastes amazing. Usually we have it for Christmas and other really special occasions. Two guys got into a bid war, and it sold for $175!!! Yep, this is politics in the South. Barbecue, pies, and police cars. A great way to spend a Saturday
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What Are the Key Findings of the NHS "Cass" Review of Youth Gender Care?
Davie replied to Carolyn Marie's topic in News
Yes. That report is part of a conspiracy to torture and murder trans people. It is a lie. It is evil. -
TBH, I have no idea where to start with makeup.
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What Are the Key Findings of the NHS "Cass" Review of Youth Gender Care?
Ivy replied to Carolyn Marie's topic in News
It seems plain to me, that this thing is simply a cherry-picked excuse to persecute trans people - especially trans youth in the UK. And it will also be used here in the states to legislate against trans care here as well. The right wing has already made up their mind about us, and they are just looking for "evidence" to legislate against us. Seems like if they were really for "freedom" as they claim, they would leave us alone to live in our personal "delusions". I mean, I have no problem with cis people. Some of my best friends are cis people. -
I am so happy with Maybelline products. For my basic needs, I love their Magic Eraser. I used the app to dial in the best shade and it works great just -- even as a very light "foundation"
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Vidanjali started following What Are the Key Findings of the NHS "Cass" Review of Youth Gender Care?
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What Are the Key Findings of the NHS "Cass" Review of Youth Gender Care?
Vidanjali replied to Carolyn Marie's topic in News
"THE CASS REVIEW NEEDS TO BE THROWN OUT ENTIRELY. THIS IS WHY." https://whatthetrans.com/cass-review/ -
Oof, this hits hard. Thank you
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April Marie started following Ignored Post
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I think this can be a big part of it. There are times when I just don't have the experience or expertise to respond. Is there a specific post we've missed @Ladypcnj? I remember that my intro post had less than 10 responses. Some of that has to do with timing, too. I've also found that the more I posted to various threads the more responses I've received. But, I can tell you that there are times when almost no one responds to my posts. Don't take it personally. Keep posting where you feel comfortable and people will get to know you. It really is a friendly and accepting place.
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Oh, the guilt can be overwhelming, can't it? It's kind of like the joke about the difference between Protestants and Catholics. Protestants have sex without guilt. Catholics have guilt without sex. It seems as if guilt is just a natural by product of our gender identity confusion whether we have any awareness of it or not. We feel different and so we blame ourselves for not feeling as others say we should. What a tremendously uplifting moment it is when we can finally shed that guilt. Bask in the relief, M.A. And having the right therapist seems so crucial to me. I had, fortunately, a very quick and strong connection and trust in my therapist. She was a life saver for me. Literally. Again, welcome to TGP!!
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Perhaps no one knows how to reply?
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For me, with my former therapist, it was almost more like a frog in a pot slowly coming to a boil - I don't think either of us realized the scope of what we were dealing with until fairly recently. And she helped me find my new practitioner, which was incredibly helpful too <3 It feels very strange and new - I've framed this, whatever this is, as 'being bad at being female' for literal decades, since puberty really, and the idea that maybe it's not my fault, that I've never done anything 'wrong,' is a little overwhelming.
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I had fun doing this a few weeks ago. This is how I got rid of -money: This music player code of mine is really working out nice. My music collection is all mp3 files. I put them on my server and then code things like that to play them and loop them. And then I coded an app while I was in the mental hospital in 2009 that I use to transcribe my music with. It's a Windows app and you can browse to an mp3 or use a URL to an mp3. Once it is in the program, it looks like a normal music software timeline and there are sliders to slow it down and speed it up by octaves, semitones and cents, so you have complete control over what key the music is in. And you can create loops in it and I added a feature a few years ago where it remembers all the settings so when you open it again, you still have the same loop set with the pitch settings. I've been putting my favorite recordings in it lately, setting the funkiest loop I can find and then slow it down an octave or more. Then I play drums to it and piano stuff, or pennywhistle. I like playing drums on the floor. Even though I got rid of money and well, I should have done that decades ago, I had a good time the other day hitting my bin of GO stones with my drumstick. I don't know if I'll get flagged for self promotion here or not. You know, I'm a musician and I'm just sharing ideas for how to listen to and enjoy learning to play music. I'm not the only one who has made tools like this. I'm really geeking out on my roommates drumset. I learned to play in the 90's, but I haven't had a set since then. I've been playing 5 gallon plastic water bottles as hand drums for 30 years. They are relatively inexpensive and common and they sound great. Very fun to play along to your favorite music. And if you can slow the music down, it can make it easier to play to for some songs. As advanced as I get as musician, I still enjoy just meditating on playing some simple pattern over and over. Lately I've been playing an Emin7 chord going to an Fmaj7 chord on the piano. It's all white keys. You just play an E and then skip a key etc... Every other key for 4 notes and then just move that all up one key for the Fmaj7 chord. I just like the droning quality of it.
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By KymmieL · Posted
Thanks, Mindy. It has been so far. Tomorrow, work some more on the wife's grand monkey. Got the right side of the hood primed, just need to do a little more work on the left then I can prime it. Then a 600grit wet sand. I promised the wife we would take out the bike this weekend. Kymmie -
By JessicaMW · Posted
During my last visit with my psychologist (who has agreed to provide required letters of recommendation along with a colleague to provide the second) we discussed the shift towards my wife's acceptance. It was a long discussion but one point I mentioned was how much the two of us sitting down and watching this documentary helped: The Kings | A transgender love story (2017) -
By Betty K · Posted
Oops, I did not mean to post that comment yet! I was going to also say, having read a mountain of commentary on the Review, I think Julia Serano’s response (linked by Vicky above) is the most accurate and thorough. You can also read a non-paywalled version at Substack: https://juliaserano.substack.com/p/the-cass-review-wpath-files-and-the To me the three key areas in which the review is deficient are: 1. As has already been said here, its views on social transition; 2. Its attempts to give credence to the “ROGD” theory (without ever actually mentioning ROGD because presumably a canny editor knows that would be too transparently transphobic); 3. To me, most crucially, its claims about trans youth and suicide, which are dealt with summarily in about five pages and do not stand up to any deeper scrutiny. I will be writing about each of these issues in isolation over the next few weeks and appearing on a radio show and podcast to discuss them late in the month. I will post links to these on TP later if anyone is interested. All that said, I actually think it’s dangerous for us to respond with outright vitriol and condemnation to the review since, like any effective piece of disinformation, it does actually contain some factually based and even helpful recommendations. The Tavistock Gender Identity Service really was underfunded and understaffed and certain staff were not adequately trained. Trans kids really were funnelled away from mental-health support once they started gender-affirming care too. So yes, more investment in youth psychology services would help, as would a less centralised model of care, more training in treatment of trans kids, and more research. One last thing for now: beware the claim that Cass ignored 98% of studies. That’s not strictly true. She seems to have taken other studies into account but leaned heavily on the 2% that met her standards. Nor does she ever claim that only randomised controlled trials are good enough evidence to justify the use of blockers for kids; just as with ROGD, she strongly suggests this, but is too canny to say it, because she knows such trials would be impossible. For now, I think the best response to this comes from the Trans Safety Network: “[…] we believe there to be systemic biases in the ways that the review prioritises speculative and hearsay evidence to advance its own recommendations while using highly stringent evidence standards to exclude empirical and observational data on actual patients. “ (https://transsafety.network/posts/tsn-statement-on-cass-final-report/) To me, the scariest aspect of all this is that, if it follows Cass’s recommendations, the NHS will very likely follow Finland’s recent model of trans care, which seems to amount to a prolonged form of conversion therapy. I can’t find the link right now, which is probably lucky for anyone reading this, but I bawled my guts out reading the testimonies of kids who had been mistreated by that system. Truly horrific. To me, at least from my Australian perspective, the Cass Review is the most frightening development in trans rights in recent years. To me, the safe care of trans kids is THE number one issue in politics atm. Ruth Pierce has a good summary of responses from trans folk and their allies sk far: https://ruthpearce.net/2024/04/16/whats-wrong-with-the-cass-review-a-round-up-of-commentary-and-evidence/ -
By Sally Stone · Posted
Welcome to the wide, wild world of transgender, M.A. It can definitively be overwhelming, but everyone here is amazing, so no doubt you'll get bunches of wonderful support. I think you'll be happy you found us.
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