It has been about six weeks since I started the HRT journey. Today I officially "upgraded" to a new level of patch. I can't believe how giddy I was when A) the doc responded so quickly to my request for a new prescription, as I thought as I was going to have to wait a few weeks for my current one to run out; B) the pharmacy filled my new prescription so quickly -- in like an hour from when the doc emailed; and C) when I got home and put the new patch in place as quickly as possible...   Six weeks in and I would say it is subtle changes at best. But there are changes. They are just hard to describe... Sometimes I get these little rushes of emotion or mini-euphorias. Is that the hormones? I am emotional anyways, anger included ... I've noticed very subtle changes in my chest, like are my areola getting bigger? Or is it just my imagination? Are things getting smaller downstairs? Again, or just my imagination? I feel ... different ... yes a little more feminine...   I think it has surprised me how much I actually want a female chest. I keep checking it out all the time. That is brand new! But it's like I look down, notice what appear to be some changes and I say to myself, "This is going on with my body, and I like this! A lot!" Nothing ceases to amaze me anymore. I am such a mess, lol...    I feel like this patch upgrade is going to bring about more noticeable changes. Like I am really in the game now. Like the first part was just a warm up. Maybe not. But that's what it feels like.   So far, no problems with the patch itself (aside for forgetting a couple of times to take the old patch off when I put the new on one. I went a whole day once with a double-patch). Internally I think I am so ready for the next step... Externally, I feel like I am continuing to poke a hornet's nest, a den of scorpions and a mama bear all at the same time.

100% correct!

That's a great question @Ladypcnj. It gives time for staff to review your line of thinking or replying. You're almost free to comment at will, reaching 5 posts.   Best wishes, stay positive.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

If it's okay for me to ask, but why does post and replies have to be approved? 

No one that hasn’t gone through the self perceived shame and guilt about the feelings we’ve had cannot understand 1. Why we need a therapist we trust. 2.  Why we suddenly need to talk to them. 3. Why things set us off and throw us into a bout of extreme depression.  4. Why we feel threatened even when we aren’t in immediate danger.  That threat may be only in our mind but it’s our need for reassurance.      

Be careful about software bundled with your antivirus! Most likely they are using it to spy on you. As far as I know the only 2 VPN providers that actually protect your data (and delete it as soon as possible if they keep anything at all) are Proton VPN and Mulvad VPN - the latter one actually had their servers stormed by law enforcement and they walked away with nothing (cause Mulvad had no customer data to offer). I would avoid antiviruses altogether tbh, they're not a magic cure for internet safety and the built in one from Microsoft does its job well enough. If you're not on WIndows you don't even need one - just be smart about what you download of course.   Your web browser asking you to turn it off is probably because the browser would prefer to know your real location, just ignore it or pick a better browser, like Firefox.

It was stupid of me, the cop was in front of me in a u-turn cut in a spot I know about. I was running a little late because of the slow truck, and the cop happened to be there today. It is like one of only three places for a speed trap on my commute. I usually don’t speed as I try to leave enough of a time buffer in the morning. 

The worst possible scenario is 4 points on my license, which a defensive driving course will negate it. I had considered getting a lawyer, but it is probably not worth the expense. 

Yeah, I was puzzling on that too…

Good luck maam 😊 I’ve experienced that they’ll lower the points , if you show up in court and pay the ticket. 

This was before I came out.One documentary worth watching on it is The Invisible War,mentioning the sex crimes in the military

A multi-colored skort with a white popover and white sneakers. I need some sun on those legs, tho'!!!   

Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums Mealaini,   Like you I knew in my preteen years that I was meant to be a girl, but didn't have any way to bring it up in the early 1960s. It was the expanding news outlets on the telly that allowed me to understand that I may not be the only person who felt this way. Wow was my mind expanded once the internet became a reasonable research tool in the 1990s.   My grown daughter (42) is nonbinary and atheist with pagan leanings. So when I came out to her she was thrilled and wanted to dress me up and show me the world. Well I think she wanted to show me to the world. My son (45) is evangelical christian and very upset with his sister for many reasons. However he's a reluctant supporter of me as transgender. I'm out to my wife and we've been married for 48 years this June, so I'm in a very late in life transition.   The other thing that has me going down an internet rabbit hole is your location. It clearly states United Kingdom with a sub flag of Illinois. I've searched the web and can't seem to locate Illinois, UK. Am I missing something?    Best wishes,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋

Thank you for sharing, @Mealaini, and welcome.    I appreciate your description of IFS and your book recommendation. I have a few close friends who are very enthusiastic about IFS and my therapist is incorporating some of those elements into my therapy.    -Timi

Leg hair.  Shaving it was a surprisingly big decision.  (Not as big as the beard tho)  After I did it a few times, it's never really grown back.  Haven't shaved them in a couple of years and you'd never know it.  A daughter living with me doesn't shave hers, and she is much furrier than I ever was.     I don't exactly hate my living as a guy in the past.  TBH, I was never quite there anyway.  But I just dropped it.  I live full time fem, and it would bother me a lot to go back to being a guy.  But I don't have to appease family or an employer.