Good morning :)   I have coffee today, but the cup keeps leaking (I guess the cap isn't able to fully seal or something), so I keep having to wipe up the sides lol   Almost finished all my missing work for school, which means if I do a bit more work, I should be out of trouble with my parents (not even that bad of trouble compared to when I was younger, more just an annoyance haha)

Sending good thoughts for you, Raine.

Good morning 😘   Finished packing up my kitchen and pantry for fumigation today. I also modified my backpack to make it day-centre compliant.  I was able to get almost 2 hrs sleep last night, so I'll survive. 😑

I need to go back, hurts

I'll be going to some Pride events as a spectator.  Maybe marching in a parade if they have open participation.    The event we'd prefer to go to is held in a small town with a population of less than 600.  They have a parade through all three blocks of their downtown area.  Unfortunately, this year it is on the same day as a memorial service for a friend who passed away this winter, so we'll have to miss it.  So our second choice is a larger town, population about 9000, a bit farther away.    And we are keeping our eyes open for other events in the general area as they are announced.   I dress a bit flashier than normal, with some trans bling, such as rainbow or trans flag earrings, a trans symbol pendant, and a handheld trans flag to wave.  Political sentiment is turning against us, but public sentiment here is still strongly on our side, so getting out and showing the flag, both literally and figuratively, is important.

Only three missing assignments left 

I had that going on with my last two partners who were 20 years older than me.  One of them looked older for her age as well.  I remember a couple times being in the grocery store a decade ago and having people ask "can I help you ladies with something?" and then I'd turn around with my red beard.  Well before I started transitioning, but my partner knew I was trans back then.   I struggle with this as well.  My music and political career can have a masculine edge to it that I don't like.  It's been really frustrating lately.  I don't like pushing myself on others or telling people what to do.  I've been running a website for 25 years and have virtually never tried to promote it or even look at any analytics.  I don't want to push it on anyone.  I put what I have on it and make it publicly available.  It's part of my production process.  It keeps me sane and if someone else can find it useful, then I'm happy to share.

I'm curious, but then if I am true to myself, I have a hard time being in crowds.  I love hearing great music, but being in an audience is such a turnoff for me that I don't go to concerts or bars.  I'm just very much a producer.  I actually like doing the dishes more than going to concerts because it's an active thing.

Always an under appreciated musician..  

My therapist is trying a new tact. I've named my self protection self that ssays not eating or too much exercise because when I starting because oftrauma my protective self started and also at the time the name Shay came to me and is now part of my name.  It's not like having a split personality, just my primative self protection who is always there to help me. My therapist has Shay, me and him working as a team to assure her that I am safe and to start changing her role in my life so I protect me by eating right and exercising to maintain a heathy body. It is helping a little but we just started this a few weeks ago.

Do you believe in fate?

Another weird yet satisfying new week.

A person who is embarrassed feels shy, ashamed, or guilty about something. He looked a bit embarrassed. Synonyms: ashamed, upset, shamed, uncomfortable More Synonyms of embarrassed.