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By VickySGV · Posted
OK, I have several things that should be going for me, but really don't make much difference. I have been on HRT since 2009 but my height is 5'11 and 230 pounds, not much up top and have never done facial hair removal sol without make-up it is old lady white on my face. Every now and then I get someone with that weird look on their face but rarely get fully "clocked" as Trans unless I am in a bunch of Drag Queens even without being in Drag. For the most part though I simply no longer worry about misgendering and "do not hear it" if it happens, but if I hear too much I just leave the situation. Your genetics are playing a big part in your life due to the height and inability to "Bulk UP". That said, in ordinary daily life are you trying too hard to "man up?" so that your actions are exaggerated and not convincing. A chip on the shoulder male will invite more trouble that one not trying so hard. Do you know who you are? Be that person and the gender is easier to pull off. I am an overweight feminine dressing older lady with dyed red hair and some minorly atypical ability to take part in "male interests" hobby wise and I can be assertive in business issues. I have two Trans Male acquaintances who could be your body doubles. One is a true friend and has male traits of interest in people, a willingness to care and be straightforward in masculine behaviors, is a good listener and a whole lot of that stuff in him. He gets an occasional "read" but sloughs it off and doesn't respond. The other acquaintance will remain just that since he is screechy, thinks he is a celebrity in the community and the whole garbanzo. He is about 49% likely to be misgendered and go off in a persons face when it happens and makes the rest of us wonder why we keep him around. We are our own worst enemies when judging what we look like , absolutely the very worst, and we will call attention to what we see as flaws and out ourselves as I did often in my first years. By now the problem children in my life have moved on and the rest simply know me as ME and as the result it does not matter if I pass or not. Hard facts not positivity. It will take you time, maybe more time than I have to be around, but when all else fails, lower your demands and expectations and it will happen. -
By Ladypcnj · Posted
Sorry, the powers that be doesn't want me to post about my story, they recently blocked my user IP.. but that's okay I have support from the Lgbtqai+ community, they know the full story the truth of what happened. -
By Nonexistent · Posted
Hello, I'm new to the forum. I'm a 22yr old trans guy. I've been on T for 6yrs, and I have both top surgery and a hysto. I have meta scheduled for next January. Despite being on hormones for so long, I still don't pass well. I'm 5'1" which I can't change, no matter how much I hate it. I try and work out every other day, but I can't afford the gym so I just do bodyweight. I have a little muscle on my arms and shoulders, and pretty muscular thighs. I'm skinny overall but I do have a big butt. The only facial hair I have is on my chin, and it's slight. My face is feminine, though my partners tell me it's not. If it was masculine though, then I wouldn't get misgendered. I think they have a bias from knowing me well and liking me. I have been told by a stranger that I have a feminine face after they misgendered me and my partner asked what made them think I was a girl (which was embarrassing, I prefer to just lower my gaze and walk away and sulk). My hair has not made a difference in the frequency of misgendering. I had it natural color (brown), but my partner wanted me to dye it silver on the top so I did. This time it came out kind of dark and has a blue tinge to it, which I dislike, but it will lighten up. But all the advice I've heard is 'don't ever dye your hair!' Which makes me think it's why I'm getting misgendered, but in reality the frequency is the same. The sides are short, top is longer and swept to the side. Basic trans guy haircut #01. It comes in the trans guy training manual (lol). But if a cis guy had my haircut, nobody would misgender him. So it's not the hair. And bangs look awful on me so this is all that works. I do also have rounded glasses, which I have heard not to do, but square ones look awful on me (trust me, I've tried). I wear basic clothes, nothing special. I don't have a washing machine or dryer, so I have to go to the laundromat sporadically when I can afford it. So I have to rewear the same thing multiple times. I just wear a t-shirt and shorts usually. I have 1 pair of jeans, the only pair I could find that fits me (I had to get them from the kids section). I feel like I should dress like guys typically do around here (I live in Texas), maybe it will help me blend in. Though I don't blend in with dyed hair. It makes me self-conscious, but I would feel bad changing it now since my partner just dyed it for me. I live in a conservative state, obviously, being in Texas. So I don't know if that changes anything regarding passing. I'm just so sick of it. I was given the hopes that I would pass easily on T if I was just patient, but that's not the case at all. I don't regret going on T, because I do like the changes that I have, but I wish it would do more to help me. People try to tell me I pass well, but I don't think I can trust them when strangers misgender me. It's contrary evidence. It seems like they are lying to me, and I don't appreciate it. I'd rather have my feelings hurt than be lied to. There's always cosmetic surgery, but I'm schizophrenic and mentally disabled so I can't make enough money to afford that since I can't work. If it's unfixable, then how do you cope with knowing you will never pass? Is there even any way to cope? How do I deal with getting misgendered? It just makes me so depressed every time, even though I don't care what random people think about me. It reminds me I hate how I look and that I look too feminine. And that I'll never look the way that I'm supposed to. (Please no toxic positivity) -
By Adrianna Danielle · Posted
Snap On dealer impressed with me,have been paying off my new toolbox off.About $2,000.00 left on the payments left.Said he had to repo one last week,guy quit making payments on it.He hates deadbeats big time -
By VickySGV · Posted
I am a little confused about the word in your title there. Defamation is a variation I know about, and it is akin to Libel and Slander in meaning, and could be the object of a court action or a couple of types. If you are referring to the act of denying or taking away your feminine gender, ie. they keep using masculine names and pronouns or referring to you as a "man" or "man in a dress", then yes it happens to me on rare occasion and if it is online, I simply block the moron doing it or leave the group where they are doing it, and may or may not come back if the person is there. When people are willing to learn about Trans Folks I do give what are jokingly referred to as Trans 101 or even more in depth classes to the receptive and accepting audiences. I DO NOT however try to teach a pig to sing, which as they say sounds like hell and annoys the pig. If someone is invalidating your gender, get away from them safely and FAST. -
By Ivy · Posted
My inner child likes to cuddle with Blahaj. I know it's weird, but it works for me. -
By Ivy · Posted
I'm not sure they can do this. Not on line anyway. LOL Defamation? Not that I personally know of. -
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By Justine76 · Posted
Nice! I've found myself shopping around for astrophotography gear more than once but haven't taken the plunge yet. To close to a metro area to do it from my home. -
By Ivy · Posted
It never occurred to me to be able to see them here in the south. Maybe tonight if it's not cloudy. -
By KymmieL · Posted
@Willow Oh, yeah. been on anti-depressants for years. Actually 2 different ones. Take them each and every morning along with my other meds. -
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By Sally Stone · Posted
Well, this last post brings my trans life up to date. What happens from here is anyone's guess. The next big milestone will be retirement, probably next year some time. I don't think that will change things much for Sally because as I have stated previously, I am in a mostly happy place where she is concerned. I do have a few more posts planned, as I would like to write in more detail about a few occurrences that were memorable to me. Hopefully they will be of interest to others. Hugs, Sally -
By Ladypcnj · Posted
Has anyone been a victim of online defemination? and what to do about it? -
By Vidanjali · Posted
Yes, this is very therapeutic. You are able to see different aspects of your own personality. There is the part which has survived life thus far through decision making and lots of trial and error. That part of you is your wise and capable parent. When you feel strongly identified with the scared child in you, you can turn to the wise parent part of you whom you trust to guide you. You have faith and trust in that part of you necessarily because it has gotten you this far. Naturally, we all have room for improvement and advancement, but you can only start where you are and try to do your best with what you have to work with and deal with. But by adopting this attitude, you see that wise parental part of you become stronger, wiser, and more steadfast and skillful. Then the child in you increasingly becomes more trusting and carefree.
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