Therapy With Dad

[Guest Eth]

So I had that therapy session with my dad there today. It was alright. The therapist was great though- she dealt with it very professionally and pushed for things without taking anyone's side. She worded a lot of my own thoughts pretty well, like how we need to look from all perspectives. She also talked to my dad about how, if I were diagnosed with say, leukemia, he'd instantly do research and try to learn about it so he could understand and help me as best he could, whereas in this case it's transsexualism (a syndrome, not a disease), and yet he's not really trying to research or understand it at all.

She was right in that my dad and I are on two different planes of existence on this issue. An example is how my dad talked about how the websites I sent him nearly a year ago was "too much" for him to read "all at once" (10+ months = all at once?) and how his brain simply couldn't absorb something so quickly that was completely opposite of everything he knows and currently understands. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there like "I had to go through this myself, and research these things for hours and hours each day, how can you not handle 5-10 websites over the course of a year...?".

We also found that we backstab each other a lot, and that there are some HUGE trust issues in our family. We do everything behind each other's backs, and apparently spy on each other without saying a word half the time. He's read some of my private emails and such too, apparently.

When we were done he pried so much. We went over our time limit a little bit and still weren't finished at the end, so we're going to pick up where we left off next week. He keeps asking me about who I'm talking to online, where I go when I'm on the net, and so on. It's messed up. I wish he'd back off and get that I need some places private so I can talk without having him over me all the time. He wonders why I'm suicidal, I try to tell him, and all I ever get is "you're wrong". Seriously, is he trying to send me to an early grave? What's he going to think if/when he finds me dead in my room one day? Actually, he'll probably blame it on me for not "snapping out of it" or whatever.

Again, the therapist was good though. She referred to me as "she", "her" and so on, and told my dad it'd be good if he and my step-mom worked on it too. We'll see what happens.

愛 Eth

[Sally]

Congratulations Eth,

That is actually a major step, he sat there and listened and is goin back so maybe the therapist is going to be able to get his attention - and yours, you have to work on the trust issues as well.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest NicolaiAE]

Congrats,

Next session/now tell him you dont like it when he bugs you so much and/or answer truthfully about where you are going on the internet. I did a bad thing with my dad. He saw me posting on here last week and asked me what i was doing. I told him I was posting on a gaming forum and he left me alone. I've haven't lied to him since I was 7. You're taking a big step in the right direction! hang in there and good luck!

-Nicolai

[Guest Rain]

Not to sound insensitive, but it sounds like your dad is trying. At least he is willing to go to the therapist with you and talk about it. Not everyone is that lucky, some people have parents who would disown and/or beat them to a bloody pulp(not so sound so graphic), as messed up as that sounds. As far as getting into your private life, well that sucks, but I think a lot of parents are like this. Whether its right or not. I do not know what you think of this, but if he did not care what you were doing, it would suggest he did not care about you. So I know it still sucks, trust me been there. Everything will be fine, I am sure. Not trying to step on your toes or upset you.

[Guest Eth]

I don't know. I don't feel good...

The bad keeps stimulating negative emotional responses, but the good doesn't do anything anymore. I kind of just want to go to sleep and not wake up. Why do I keep feeling like this...

I kind of want my dad, and everyone, and all these problems to just go away.

愛 Eth

[Guest gwenthlian]

I know my parents has serious trust issues when I first came out, for months they were searching my room (like id hide things in there ^^) when I was out or checking my browsing history (faked). It began to grind me down to the point where I was becomming so freaked out by the constant intrusion I just confronted them about it. that didnt work either but they dont do any of that anymore though it's taken months. They tried to block websites on my computer, limit the time I was allowed on my own ugh it was hell.

Anyway, family therapist sessions are really helpful. I can't say Ive done that many but when I have its been really good for my mum and dad as well as me. Its good to do a bit together and also give them time with the therapist on their own.

[Guest Donna Jean]

I don't know. I don't feel good...

The bad keeps stimulating negative emotional responses, but the good doesn't do anything anymore. I kind of just want to go to sleep and not wake up. Why do I keep feeling like this...

I kind of want my dad, and everyone, and all these problems to just go away.

愛 Eth

Eth, Baby....

That is a major sign of depression....

Tell your therapist about it ..there are things that they can do to help.....oK

The very fact that your dad came and participated is a major step...let hem get more comfortable with it...I think that you'll have an advocate in him....

Stick with it, Honey!

HUGGS

Donna Jean

[Guest Nigh]

I don't know. I don't feel good...

The bad keeps stimulating negative emotional responses, but the good doesn't do anything anymore. I kind of just want to go to sleep and not wake up. Why do I keep feeling like this...

I kind of want my dad, and everyone, and all these problems to just go away.

愛 Eth

Do something positive with the negative- vent your negative emotions into some kind of artistic release. Poetry or short story writing is never a bad idea, although some people like to paint. It's always been my experience that the deeper you fall into depression the more creative you become.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

I don't know. I don't feel good...

The bad keeps stimulating negative emotional responses, but the good doesn't do anything anymore. I kind of just want to go to sleep and not wake up. Why do I keep feeling like this...

I kind of want my dad, and everyone, and all these problems to just go away.

愛 Eth

Eth

Long time my sister! Fighting some demons of my own I guess.

And here you are slugging it out like a trooper!

Seriously - seems you FINALLY have an advocate - your therapist.

That is GRAND!

Bad staying - Good not helping - honey - as Danna Jean says - simply depression - you know that now!

And having it ALL just go away? That's NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. You know that too.

We transpeople are destinied to have VERY complex lives - hee hee

Laugh to keep from crying!

We muddle muddle muddle through!

You are actually a many folded sword, sharp as a razor - fire tempered to perfection!

You are just fine. And your dad will get better - he has to - big bucks paying that therapist - hee hee.

Love you

Lizzy

[Guest Eth]

Actually, it's $25/month for the therapist, and my dad stopped "paying" my allowance to cover it (like he couldn't afford it. My allowance was $1/day, seriously). So no, really, he's PROFITING because he pays less on the therapist in a month than he was supposed to (he never really did, and just 'forgot' about at least a year's worth of allowance I'd saved up) give me in allowance.

Yeah.

愛 Eth