The Transsexual Mantra

[Guest Zenda]

A transwoman I know asked me shortly after I had the ‘final’ psychiatric assessment involving my suitability for government funded surgery-What did I ‘wear’ and what did the psychiatrist ‘ask’ me? Now I had to scratch my head and think…Hmmm what did I wear?...clothes yes I definitely wore clothes and what did he ask me? Hmmm questions yes he definitely asked me questions… For some ‘strange’ reason she was hoping I would give her the magic formula that would assure her of being diagnosed with ‘BS’ [if and when she saw a psychiatrist]. Alarm bells start to go off…why did she want to know this what has my experience with the psychiatrist got to do with her personal life experience?

I’m sure some psychiatrists smile, lean forward, scratch their chin and go “hmmm ferrry intooresting” when they hear a trans person ‘quote’ the transsexual mantra “ Born in the wrong body…Felt trapped since I was two/five years old…Only played with dolls/cars…Hated/loved all sports and anything that relates to their birth sex…” [The ‘hmmm’ part comes after he looks at the case notes of the ten trans people who he saw before you, who have all said ‘word for word’-more or less what you have just told him].

The internet is fantastic-lots of information some useful some useless. However for me I was a bit slow when it came to getting a computer-I got my first computer in 2003-more or less used it as a glorified ‘type writer’ before getting connected to the internet early 2005…I’m sure there are a number of transgender people [and I’m using the term transgender in the loose umbrella sense] who read about some trans person’s life experience including what went on during their assessment with a psychiatrist over and over again till they themselves start to believe they ‘share’ the same life experiences-it’s like real memories blended with imagination which over time become hard to separate …

For those of you who are soon to be or thinking of being assessed by a ‘psychiatrist’ or clinical psychologist-the people in white coats who speak in funny German accents…Will you be psyche-true or pseudo-imaginary[a 'text book' transsexual] when you spill the beans? Remember honesty is really the best policy…besides the deeper the hole you dig for yourself [lies and more lies] the harder it will be to get out ‘scratch free!’...You could end up being 'scarred' for life!!!

MOST IMPORTANTLY… MAKE SURE YOU SEE SOMEONE WHO SPECIALISES IN GENDER IDENTITY ISSUES…AND NOT SOME QUACK!!! Ie, make sure you know ‘which’ doctor is ‘witch’…

Thought for the day

The dangers of ‘self diagnose’…

Each day most of us self-diagnose ourselves ‘sane’ we tick the sanity box... -but are we really sane or are we just suffering from delusion-hahahaha-hehehehe-wicked mad laugh -a Mental Awareness Disorder…MAD? Food for thought…

Metta Jendar

[Guest Bethany]

Just what did you mean by ferrry in "hmmm ferrry intooresting"? I'm a sprite darn it!~ lol Some very good points on the whole psych thing though my perspective may be a little different. I used a very compationate simple councelor (non gender specialized) to help me come to terms with who I really am, then in conjunction to counceling a Gender Specialist for assesment for my hrt letter. The end result was I didnt have to prove anything to anyone, the answers came from me and not from someone else's agenda. I also had an advocate to verify every claim made to the gender spec. only you can the expert when it come to you. some times the gender medical complex can rush you through before you're ready. a self diagnosis is dangerous without second and maybe third opinions. My point is noone else has to live you're life but you. Something I'm working on now is an attitude of if this is you're life then you must own it.

[Guest Zenda]

Kia Ora Bethany,

I guess in reality some gender specialists are sceptical when they start to hear the well rehearsed 'transsexual mantra' I must admit I'm also somewhat sceptical when I hear the 'text book' description of some trans-people's past life-their uniform identities...Some times it seems too 'polished'...However I should point out I'm comparing this to my own personal experience which I feel was far from 'text book'...Also it's understandable for some specialists to 'refuse' to give the go ahead for HRT to some of their trans clients...For example if one is having major domestic issues family/children/work etc...prescribing HRT could be sending them on a bumpy roller coaster ride without a safety harness or lock bar...why add fuel to a fire that's already burning out of control...it just don't make sense...Good therapist are or should be skilled in body language-how we act tells them alot more than what we say...talk is cheap compared to actions...

It's true most of us are experts when it comes to who we are...but some may not fully understand or because of social stigma attached like their true self and feel the need to change into something they are not, thinking that's the way for them to be more accepted "If I could only change how I look then people would accept me more!" I personally feel and have stated in previous posts a minimum period of a two year 'Real Life Experience' before being accepted for G.A.S for late transistioner-those who begin their gender affirming from their early twenties onwards. would/should help smooth out any bumps in the road..But prior to that first, the trans-person should get their house in order before commencing HRT.

Some young trans people have always been somewhat gender 'non conforming' ie, have already been living as their 'true' gender well before obtainng HRT-RLE for them is not necessary they are or have already lived it....Sadly many late transitioners feel the need to 'rush' through the final stage of their 're-birth' like a woman having a premature baby..the earlier the birth the less likely the survival...they don't call it intensive care for nothing...

As long as we are somewhat sound in mind then yes we should be in charge of our own destiny...but that's not always the case especially when it comes to the complex issues surrounding 'denial' of ones true gender identity and lets face it 'denial' is a contributing factor for most late transitioners.

WHEN IT COMES TO LATE TRANSITIONERS-TIME AND PATIENCE...MAKES PERFECT...RUSH JOBS...CAUSE PROBLEMS!

Metta Jendar

[Guest Bethany]

Wow Jendar more good points I agree with, and yes I can expand on them too, hehe. beyond telling them what they want to hear is, translating how you feel into a language that is understandable to a gatekeeper can result in a mantra of sorts as well. A little variation could go a long way in one's favor, for example ...no I wasnt born in the wrong body I was born in this one to suffer, to tempor the spirt which will inhabit the transitioned body that matches how I feel. Oh I'm not recommending anyone use that. it was just to illustrait a point. Its good to make them think a little but not too much lol...

Another issue I've been thinking about just how important getting true baseline measurements from your Endo is, for the long term. Using estrogens and antiandrogens, or even herbal stuff prior to your baseline tests may render these tests inacurate. herbal estrgens, phytoestrogens and breast growth pills can be very dangerous even though they are legal and too easily availiable. The reason they are dangerous is, they are weak but once used they can affect how the receptor sites in your body respond to its own natual hormones. You need Estrogen and testoserone to function on any level. herbal stuff is too weak to provide much help there and can also reduce the effectiveness of your natural hormones in providing daily fuctionality which in turn can push you into transition before you have your ducks are in a row. However doing stupid stuff to you're body may be understandable due to some disphoric realities, it most certainly is not advisable.

/hugs Bethany