Slower Than Wanted

[Guest 1Char]

Just a couple weeks ago I came out to my parents, and since then have had two therapist meetings, he is a wonderful man, but has never had a ts patient before. And him and my parents are telling me that we r gonna take it all slow no matter what. I just nod my head, but I no want slow!!! I can hardly wait! I wanna go full time by college! That is my goal. But I don't think I will even come close

time will tell i suppose. I don't even have a diagnosis yet, so he is saying mild depression, because they have to have something for me to keep seeing him! I hope progression takes place soon if at all!!

Hugz, Char

[Guest Evan_J]

You are young and cautious really is for your safety. I'm talking physical health wise. The decision to refer you for HRT will be a SERIOUS , forever decision. Along the way though, and actually because you ARE so young, there is nothing to stop you , outside of resources and resistance by your parents , from presenting yourself more female. Being "full time " is actually NOT so much about hormones as it is JUST DOING IT. That goes for everybody , 0 to 100. People think "I'm unable unless I'm on hormones. " No. The hormones ASSIST being accepted visually but are not the transition or the going full time. You are full time if you wake up tomorrow, care for your face and skin like any girl would, attend your your appearance in the manner and style of a female person (if that means makeup, a headband, just some mascara, wearing your hair arranged in a female arrangement, female jewelry/accessories, those things are up to you but would also include hair removal remembering that most women would remove any they found), clothing appropriate to the female gender (which is very "flexible" but certainly does exclude things like mens dress pants, mens dress shoes, other "definate" mens wear). And a female name. People go by names all the time that are not "legal" but they are regarded/ called by it to the exclusion of anything else (I actually am related to someone who's "legal" name I never knew till I asked when they were 20!) There is no "permission " required from any shrink in the world to do these things. You just do em. -Unless of course your parents might lock you in a room That'd be the only "hinderence". Oh, and your principal. Some principals don't like things they call "disruptive". And (this IS something you should think about) there likely WOULD be some reaction from your schoolmates. Think out honestly if you are ready for that and what it might be. Done "responsibly" and not over the top, I actually could see it playing to your favor with both the shrink and the parents in that it would demonstrate comfort.

[Guest Leah1026]

Just a couple weeks ago I came out to my parents, and since then have had two therapist meetings, he is a wonderful man, but has never had a ts patient before.

Either get another therapist who does know gender:

http://www.DrBecky.com/therapists.html

Or

Get him these books:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Transgend...tm=1&usri=1

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Transgend...tm=1&usri=1

If you don't want to find another therapist or there isn't another in the area, educating this guy is your only hope.

[Guest Nikki A]

You are young and cautious really is for your safety. I'm talking physical health wise. The decision to refer you for HRT will be a SERIOUS , forever decision. Along the way though, and actually because you ARE so young, there is nothing to stop you , outside of resources and resistance by your parents , from presenting yourself more female. Being "full time " is actually NOT so much about hormones as it is JUST DOING IT. That goes for everybody , 0 to 100. People think "I'm unable unless I'm on hormones. " No. The hormones ASSIST being accepted visually but are not the transition or the going full time. You are full time if you wake up tomorrow, care for your face and skin like any girl would, attend your your appearance in the manner and style of a female person (if that means makeup, a headband, just some mascara, wearing your hair arranged in a female arrangement, female jewelry/accessories, those things are up to you but would also include hair removal remembering that most women would remove any they found), clothing appropriate to the female gender (which is very "flexible" but certainly does exclude things like mens dress pants, mens dress shoes, other "definate" mens wear). And a female name. People go by names all the time that are not "legal" but they are regarded/ called by it to the exclusion of anything else (I actually am related to someone who's "legal" name I never knew till I asked when they were 20!) There is no "permission " required from any shrink in the world to do these things. You just do em. -Unless of course your parents might lock you in a room That'd be the only "hinderence". Oh, and your principal. Some principals don't like things they call "disruptive". And (this IS something you should think about) there likely WOULD be some reaction from your schoolmates. Think out honestly if you are ready for that and what it might be. Done "responsibly" and not over the top, I actually could see it playing to your favor with both the shrink and the parents in that it would demonstrate comfort.

I understand and you are 100% correct! I am just frustrated with the progress of getting my parents acceptance, cuz it hurts that they don't like who I am. The good news is, I already do some of the things you mentioned, if anyone could find a hair on my body that isn't on the top of my head or my eyelashes and eyebrows, I would give them a medal! Lol, and I take more care of my skin and hair than my biogirl friends! Lol I love how soft my hair is! I don't dress the part, but I wear eyeliner daily, and nail polish. I just would feel more prepared with hormones if they could just help soften the edges of my appearance. I care tremendously about how I look, and just want to pass. The hormones if anything would hopefully give me some mental comfort because I would feel like I'm passing better on them (whether I was or not) I'm odd

thank you for the responce, and you are right! I don't need anything but myself to go full time! Thank you thank you thank you!!

Hugz, Nikki

[Guest Nikki A]

Either get another therapist who does know gender:

http://www.DrBecky.com/therapists.html

Or

Get him these books:

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Transgend...tm=1&usri=1

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Transgend...tm=1&usri=1

If you don't want to find another therapist or there isn't another in the area, educating this guy is your only hope.

He said I would have to educate him, but he has already done a ton on his own! He hooked me up with a doctor in minnisota ( they have some big sexuality center that I can't remember the name of) but he is going to refer me to see other people as well as him to help clear up my diagnosis. One of his close retired friends worked with a bunch of ts patients so he has been talking to his friend also! I definately will recomend the literature to him! Thnk you!! I don't plan on switching. He is really nice, understanding, and willing to learn with us!

Hugz, Nikki

[Guest rachael1]

Your therapist sounds like he is doing his best and is seeking outside assistance to help you.

You certainly are making progress so I wouldn't feel too frustrated with the pace.

Rachael

[Guest angie]

Instead of suffering through months and months of a misdiagnosis,

I would try to find a psychotherapist that specializes in gender issues.

That way you can have someone who understands that this isn't depression,

or all in your mind.You know who you are,find the professionals that can help

you get where it is you must go.A good gender therapist can help your parents

come to terms with the fact that their child is really in the wrong body.And needs

this life change to be comfortable enough to lead a normal healthy,happy life.

Good luck young lady,

Angie

[Paula ult]

The University of Minnesota has a gender program, and sounds like your therapist is doing the right things to try to help you. A gender therapist is what you need and even then expect to be in therapy around 3 months before any kind of letter for hormones will be written, if you are under 18 your parent's will have to sign off on that. The Standards of Care SOC ver 6 is what allot of therapists go by, you can download it here http://www.wpath.org/Documents2/socv6.pdf

HUGS!

Paula

[Guest AllisonD]

Evan already nailed it. You don't need anyone's permission, and you certainly don't need hormones to transition. Present yourself as you want to present yourself, and university is a great place to do that, especially if you do it right from the beginning.

Do the therapist thing, and someday do the HRT thing if that turns out to be your path, but don't let either stop you from doing what you know is right in the meantime.

Allison