Introduction, History, And The Crazy.

[Guest Roxie Moora]

I'm new to the forums and figured I'd make a decent introduction. I'm fairly sure introductions don't go here, but this is probably the only place I'll be visiting much in the forum.

Anyway, my name is Lylian - Roxie is a pseudonym - and I am an MtF.

Seventeen years old, very early in the transition (hoping to start hormones VERYVERYSOON), but I am already out to the whole world and live day to day as a female. This includes at school where I'm in my Senior year of high school.

I live in Knoxville, Tennessee, US, which has certainly made things difficult with the whole Bible Belt and Redneck clash. I will admit that (specifically regarding my gender issues) I have been particularly lucky. More with coming out and being accepted.

I have been in foster care for about 2 years (away from my biological mother for almost 3), and I've been out for almost 2 years. Yes, it was an extremely difficult thing admitting to myself that I'm a girl and not what others might perceive, but it was relatively easy to come out to my community and my THEN foster parents, at least in comparison to many of you who probably went through hell coming out if you have yet at all. It was actually only a few days between coming out to myself and then to everyone else. The main reason I lucked out was due to my community being my Unitarian church, progressive liberals of the highest standard and were the people who retrieved me from my abusive family and homeless status and have kept me alive since then. My foster parents at the time probably took it harder, and I believe that ultimately ended my stay there. They were "accepting", but didn't feel they could handle the baggage that comes with it.

Another very important reason it wasn't as hard for me to come out to my community is because of my very decisive (yet not concise) personality. I just don't waste time when something is obviously this important. I was finally in a (relatively) stable home and had the time to understand myself and what I needed to be happy.

I've gone through A LOT in the past couple years, and I can honestly say that only a very small percentage of it had much to do with my trans status. I've been through around ten foster homes (only one of which was disrupted due to me being MtF, the one previously stated), seven high schools, dragged through the state's male bovine crap bureaucracy, and these past few months been using every last resource I have to find a doctor who will do HRT on my insurance (which I may or may not have found one.)

Probably the hardest thing of all through my ordeals has been the church shooting of last July. It WAS my church, I WAS there, and my foster father WAS killed. Probably the only home I felt truly comfortable in and definitely the only man I could truly have called a father.

Yes, devastating. My mental state will never recover from the trauma.

But life goes on . . . and nothing will stop me from going with it.

I'm in another stable foster home that is very accepting and willing to help. I'm focusing on my transition and my future career more than anything right now. (My prospective career involving Costume/Fashion design after considering teaching English or History, but didn't want to deal with the politics of teaching as a transgirl.)

Other things to know about me: I'm a

with a love for anime, gaming, sci-fi

(especially Doctor Who), comics, sewing, fashion/costumes, literature, history, and much more.

Oh, and I'm straight.

I love the boys, even though

.

Well, that's enough rambling for now!! Hope you enjoyed the read. It's alright to skim, I promise. I also welcome any questions. And I also would like to be a productive member of the forums. I am knowledgeable, but not pretentious, so don't worry!

(Let's see if you caught those two subtly placed personal theme songs.)

[Guest Roxie Moora]

To whomever edited my inappropriate word to "male bovine crap":

SERIOUS kudos.

I will be more careful next time.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Roxy, Baby!

Welcome to the forums !

I have to tell you first that our "automatic bad word changer" fixed your little indiscretion there!

It's built into the site software!

Anywho....

Glad to have you here ...That's a nice long intro and makes for some interesting reading!

Let me get you some of Sally's cookies and some hot coco to wash it all down with!

I think that you'll like it here...lots of wonderful people and lots to read and do...the site is safe and moderated...

So, why don't you sit down and make yourself at home.....

Oh, and I'll move this over to the Introductions forum so everyone can meet you....oK?

It is so very nice to have you here!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Guest CharlieRose]

Oh my goodness, those two songs were hilarious. (Especially the lesbian one)

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hey Hey Lylian!!

Welcome sweetheart to Laura's playground!! I am so glad to meet you!!! I really loved Nrrrd Grrrl

Insipite of incredible tragedy, I see that you are very postive and outgoing!!

Sweetheart, I am certain that you are going to be just fine!!! I wish I was a courageous as you when I was your age. Coming out at 15!!! Wow!!!

Love and HUGS!!!

Brenda