Hi Everyone

[Guest Erica A]

My name is Erica Ann and I'm new to the forums here. Just a little introduction of me and my background.

Like many of the members here on the forums I am a fully transitioned, post operative MTF transsexual. I finally let my "life's little secret" be know 4 1/2 years ago when I told my spouse. Thank goodness she is one of the most accepting and understanding people on this plant. As we know the odds of a spouse accepting this kind of news and remaining together are slim to say the best. She did see my gender therapist several times to get her though the first year of so, but we are now probably happier than we have ever been in our 33 year marriage. What she came to realize is that she loves the person, not the man. We also have two sons, ages 23 and 27, that have accepted the fact that their "father" is truly a woman. Unfortunately, my extended family has not come to the same acceptance of the real me. I have not had any contact with my mother, father or younger brother in 3 years now. They have made it quite clear that they want nothing to do with me, their daughter and/or sister.

I knew from early age, somewhere between 3-4 years old, that I wasn't like the other little boys. My first best friend was the girl that lived next door, Cathy. My very first play toy was a little rubber doll by the name of Cindy, who I still have to this day. When I was this age and before I knew there was an anatomical difference between boys and girls, I just thought that when parents had a child, they determined how to raise them, either as a boy or girl. I could never understand why my parents were raising me as a boy. I didn't want to be a boy! I wanted to be a girl! You can imagine my horror when I found out there was physical difference between boys and girls. I looked down at myself and to my horror I realized I was physically a boy. OMG! It wasn't until I was between 8 and 10 years old that I finally figured out what was wrong with me.

Like most of us, I did my best to be the person society expected me to be based on my physical gender, but I never felt comfortable in the male role. I grew up always feel ashamed of the feeling that I harbored within. I finally realized that there were other out there that were just like me when I read an article in Life magazine about Christina Jorgensen. I thought OMG, there are others out there that I like me. I compare GID to being something like a wave in the ocean. When I was younger, the waves were small, just washing up around my ankles and were far and in between. I was determined that I could deal with this situation and had made up my mind that "my life's little secret" was going to stay between me and God and that I would take it to the grave with me, but as time went by those waves got bigger and bigger and were coming much more frequent to the point that I felt like I was drowning. I just couldn't live anymore the way I was. Marci Bowers once said it best. "You're ready to transition, when you are prepared to give up everything in your life to be yourself." I reached that point 4 1/2 years ago when I came out and I was prepared to give it all up, just to be me.

I began to live as me part time on the weekends after that and started female hormone therapy 3 3/4 years ago. I final ventured out dress as me for the first time about 6 months after coming out, but after feeling the freedom of being me on the weekend, Monday mornings became unbearable. Just the thought of having to put on that "male yoke" and being someone that I wasn't for the next 5 days became out and out depressing. That's when I finally decided to become me full time, 24/7. I am very fortunate that I was able to transition while on my job and to retain the same position in the company. It wasn't easy transitioning in the commercial general contracting industry being that it is so male dominated, but it was well worth it. I've been living full time as me now for a little over 2 years and had my GRS with Marci Bowers in September, 2008.

I have joined the forum in hopes of making new friends and meeting others like me, so thank you for having me and allowing me to join.

[Guest Donna Jean]

Erica!

OMG! How wonderful to meet you!

At this point I get to offer you some cookies and coco to break the ice!

So nice to have you....

I LOVE your intro and we could really use some "experienced" girls around here!

I'm 59 and transitioning and in a similar field as you! Some of the other girls are 58, 62, 56...so you won't feel all alone here!

Let me tell you that this is a very safe site that is moderated (what I'm doing right now....) and we have lots of wonderful people and tons of things to read and do!

Please be sure to post plenty....I can tell by your intro that you're not afraid to write!

Get all comfy and let everyone come by to meet you......OK?

Good!

HUGGS!

Donna Jean

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to Laura's, Erica! I love your intro, and like my sister Donna Jean said, there are many here with

similar stories to yours. You will find friends, and support, and Community (with a big C) here. We take

care of each other.

Like Donna Jean, I'm one of the more mature members, over 50 (no I'm not telling my exact age!) with

a family, but still trying to figure out if transition is in my future.

Please check out the various forums and chat rooms (if you fingers are fleet enough to keep up

with the youngsters. lol).

You've found a wonderful site, full of fantastic people with lifetimes of experience. Welcome to

your new home.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest again]

Hi Erica! Welcome to Laura's--as a parent of a FtM who is now transitioning in his mid-twenties, I appreciate the candor of your intro---your description of the waves getting bigger and bigger as time went by was great! It helps me to appreciate what my son has gone and is going through. I am sure that you will find friends here, as well as support when needed and appreciation for you advice when given. Welcome!

[Paula ult]

Welcome Ericaann, we know each other from another site, like Donna Jean i am also a bit older, 57 now and started my transition last year, your story could be mine and is in many ways, the verdict is still out on my extended family the only one i have heard from is my stepsister who is very accepting, i have told well over 100 people only because they need to know, i am not going to give up my beloved bowling just cause i am transitioning, the vast majority are either accepting or really don't care.

I look forward to talking to you more often.

HUGS!

Paula