Lots Of New "older" Crossdressers

[Guest mia 1]

For so long I thought that I was the only long in tooth "married forever" cross dresser on the forum. All my best friends on the Forum were transitioning or lately already post-op and I felt hey! what's going on with me..am I afraid to push the envelope...so I l needed time to "introspect" and when I returned, lo and behold there are 50 and 60 somethings married forever C.D.'s all over the place..some are even Mods..and most important they are all going through the same "limbo" with their spouses as I am/was and probably the same responses of spousal denial. disbelief, and anger,,then grudging acceptance that I have gone through.

The commom thread is that we are all determined to keep our marriage together and not let go of our newly outed "selves."

I know I can not look back and I won't! I see my sisters in the same mode that I am .

I say thank god for Laura's and all of us meeting on this Forum..

Is that the sound of a great sigh of relief? That is the sound of a great sigh of relief.......!!!!!

Love Mia

[Carolyn Marie]

I agree, Mia. There does seem to be a lot more of us around here lately, and I LOVE IT!

It's great to have sisters I can really relate to, who understand what its like to have to contend

with the stress of an S.O., an adolescent child, and the needs of our Transgendered nature to deal with.

It was such a short time ago that I felt so totally isolated and alone. A random Google search turned

up Laura's and I haven;t been the same since, and I do mean that in the most positive possible way!

What is really so great and so much fun is to watch the other new members blossom and come into

their own with the same realization that they aren't alone either. It's like watching a flower bud, and bloom

and explode with new colors and new life. It is a wonder to behold. And its all because Laura's

site allows it to happen.

I feel honored to be a part of it all.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Mia sweetheart - we TOLE YA to stick around!

And here you are! And Carolyn the new moderator - a real joy!

Wanna cry... darn... Laura's is a place we cn be ourselves.

Lizbet

Darn it - I can post here! I CD'd for 54 years! hee hee

[Sally]

The best thing in the world to me is the fact that we have this wonderful community here at Laura's where it just doesn't matter if you are a cross dresser, androgyne, MTF, FTM or anywhere else on the gender spectrum - you are family and we all accept each other.

I don't have to understand all of your feelings to know that you have them and that is what is right for you and you don't have to understand all of mine either just accept and love without reservation.

That is the greatest gift that anyone can give or receive.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

Mia sweetheart - we TOLE YA to stick around!

Lizbet

Darn it - I can post here! I CD'd for 54 years! hee hee

Me, too....just took it one step further...

Mia, Sweetheart, I'm so happy over the way you feel about the inclusion here and others that you feel a kinship with...Wonderful....

Doesn't that make you one feel like more of a group and not a loner?

Sure it does...!

Love you, Girlfriend!

Donna Jean

[Guest EricaG]

Hi everyone,

It is amazing what you can find when you get curious and start googling. This is the best find of my life, I have been floundering around in the dark for more than 50 years and then one day I hit Laura’s Playground. The lights went on and what do I find all you gorgeous creatures right here. You are all the best and I could not be more comfortable. Mia you are right this is so exciting and I am so glad that I am here. Now who has the milk and cookies?

Big {{{{{{{HUGGS}}}}}}} and Kisses to everyone

Love you all

Erica

PS Thought that I put this reply but it has been quite some time and it is nowhere to be found.

Start the Blonde music

Dumb & Dizzy that’s me

Of all the things in life I’ve lost I think I miss my mind the most!

[Guest ChloëC]

Mia,

I will admit that when I first logged on, I was curious (and maybe a little skeptical) as to what the make-up of the posters would be. I mean, Laura's does have the ability to encompass a whole lot of different places on the spectrum of personal preferences or one's nature. But I still wondered if there would be more than maybe one or two close to my age or even with somewhat similar proclivities. I am happy and relieved to find that there are. And that makes all the difference.

Oooh, but 'long in the tooth'! Maybe long in the nose or the ears (because supposedly they keep growing through the years, don't they?), but hopefully I haven't developed an oversized bite quite yet. Hey, aren't we supposed to be the new 40 or something?

I am glad I found this place, tho I sort of wish I had known about it a lot earlier. I had stumbled across Michigan Cross Dressers and TransDivine hoping they would be something like here, rather than the exhibitionist places they are/were.

But this site is such a wonderful place to be, so many different ideas and thoughts coming together. It really is special.

[Guest mia 1]

Chloe et al this is truly a wonderful site. It has changed my life.

Something I realized last night after the lights were off..this year marks the 50th anniveresary of my cross dressing life..amazing when you think about it and realize that half a century has passed and the feelings haven't changed,, oh I remember those half panties, half "girdles" with the attachments for the "nylons" that is really aways back,,etc.etc...

Well let's see what the next half century brings.....

[Guest RalphCD]

Add me to the list of "older" crossdressers (depends on how you define "old", I guess). 46, and I've been married 21 of those years to a wonderful woman. She doesn't participate or encourage me or even like discussing it at all, but she knew before we got married that this is a part of me that's not going away (her exact words were: "Is that all? I was afraid you were going to tell me you're gay or married!") and she doesn't object to whatever I want to wear around the house. She wouldn't object to whatever I wear outside, either, if I weren't very much in the closet.

As I mentioned elsethread, for me it stops with the clothes. I don't have an alter ego or use a "femme" name or refer to myself in the third person when talking about dressing (Not That There's Anything Wrong With That... it's just not me). I don't shave any part of my body except my face once a week for church (oh, and I'm a bible-thumpin' Baptist); I don't wear makeup or put anything on my nails or use wigs or breast forms (NTTAWWT). I'd be embarrassed if anyone called me "miss" or "ma'am" and somewhere between mortified, frightened, and offended if a male found me sexually attractive (NTTAWWT).

What I've learned about crossdressing in the last 35 years:

We're ALL different. There is no one-size-fits-all explanation for what factors made us start crossdressing, what motivates us now, or how far we want to carry it. There are dumpy guys in dresses like me and there are guys who are one hormone injection away from winning Miss America, and everything in between.

Just because you wear dresses doesn't mean you're gay (it also doesn't mean you're not, but statistically it's unlikely). That was the hardest lesson to learn, and I wish someone had told me that back when I first learned what "gay" meant and started worrying it meant me.

It may be possible to go cold turkey and wear nothing but socially approved guy clothes for the rest of your life, but it sure won't be easy. I never could, and after I married someone who accepts me I stopped trying.

98.47% of the non-crossdressing straight world and 82.19% of the gay world (numbers I just made up) think we're gay, and at best we'll only convince a handful of them that they're wrong.

People like Dennis Rodman and movies like RHPS make us look like oversexed idiots (and reinforce the public perception that we're gay). I hate that.

I could spend all day reproducing the rants I have on my blog, but I'll just sit back and read the threads and see what the water is like before I go in any deeper.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi Mia,

I did not reply to this topic at first becuase I felt that I did not belong here in this topic. I am pushing 50, but not 50 yet. Also, I am not married anymore. After re-reading your topic, I realize that I can speak to thanking God for Laura's and us all being able to congregate here to help one another feel secure and safe and loved.

Love

Brenda

[Guest darlene lynn]

Dear Dear Mia

Your right!!

Im 53yrs long in the tooth. And I was getting on Laura's for a month before I became a member.I was looking for a place to post my poetry.After becoming a member and reading the posts from everyone after I did my introduction.I couldnt beleive how sweet and caring everyone was..It literatly blow me away....

I posted some of my angry,prisoner of the world, self-centered poetry.Then I started reading sally's and others poetry about the same hurt,and lonelyness that I had went thru. But they werent as bitter as I was. It made me rethink how I actaully felt. It was time for me to stop hurting.

I could list the names of all of you here. Because in many ways all of you have change my life by being caring,and being free to listen at any time.

Ive never had anyone I could talk totally open to in my whole life,and kept clean.

I have to thank LAURA ...and all the MODS...

But I care for all of you from MTF,FTM,CROSSDESSER,ANGRODYNE

With LOVE and RESPECT

Darlene Lynnette

[Guest rachael1]

Hi Mia,

As usual I'm late to post. I usually take the easy option of only looking "view new posts" I think that will have to change as I keep missing posts and living in a different time zone doesn't help either.

Laura's certainly has the whole spectrum of gender gifted but it is good to talk to and read posts of people in similar circumstances to you.

If there was as much love in the world as there is here, we would be living in paradise.

Hugs

Rachael

[Guest Gabby Anne]

Wow, I never thought I'd see the day when I could talk to so many people about crossdressing! It's just amazing! I love it! I'm 59, married for 37 years to a wonderful wife who knows I love hair and makeup, and have dressed up, etc., but doesn't actively support it. She doesn't want to make me up (one of my fantasies), or dress me or do my hair, and doesn't want to see me that way. But interestingly, she will talk to me about putting on makeup and dressing to help turn me on.

I'm going to have to live within her limits, because I don't want to push it too far with her.

Let's hear if for us "older and wiser" CD's who still, by the way, look pretty good!

[Carolyn Marie]

If there was as much love in the world as there is here, we would be living in paradise.

Hugs

Rachael

Amen to that sister. Amen to that.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest mia 1]

Warms my heart to hear from sisters who deal with wives, wondering who and what we are and how they have to deal with us..

"Strange brew that's what's inside of you."

Eric Clapton and Jack Bruce from Cream such a long time ago and that quote stays in my mind.....and is so fitting for us all.

[Guest rachael1]

Warms my heart to hear from sisters who deal with wives, wondering who and what we are and how they have to deal with us..

Hi Mia,

I can understand the dilemma that our wives and partners face as it literally turns their world onto it's head.

They certainly got more than they bargained for and usually struggle to accept that their partners are transgendered.

My wife is only starting to come to terms with it, she doesn't like the fact that I'm transgendered but is making an effort to support me and doesn't compartmentise it away like she used to - this was a coping mechanism she used but our recent talks have convinced her that this is for life and that we have to reach some acceptable compromises and boundaries.

I love her dearly for the effort she is making on my behalf and tell her this everyday.

Rachael

[Guest Joanna Phipps]

Hi Mia,

I can understand the dilemma that our wives and partners face as it literally turns their world onto it's head.

They certainly got more than they bargained for and usually struggle to accept that their partners are transgendered.

My wife is only starting to come to terms with it, she doesn't like the fact that I'm transgendered but is making an effort to support me and doesn't compartmentise it away like she used to - this was a coping mechanism she used but our recent talks have convinced her that this is for life and that we have to reach some acceptable compromises and boundaries.

I love her dearly for the effort she is making on my behalf and tell her this everyday.

Rachael

CD or trans, the reaction of our SO'S seems to be similar. How the heck come you didn't tell me before we were married or any of the other things that we,as a group, here when we come out. My SO has somewhat come to terms with it, she uses the right name an pronouns the vast majority of the time, however it has taken her since April of this year to get this far, and I know she has further to go but I'm letting  her set her own pace on this one.

[Guest mia 1]

CD or trans, the reaction of our SO'S seems to be similar. How the heck come you didn't tell me before we were married or any of the other things that we,as a group, here when we come out. My SO has somewhat come to terms with it, she uses the right name an pronouns the vast majority of the time, however it has taken her since April of this year to get this far, and I know she has further to go but I'm letting  her set her own pace on this one.

The thread of our S.O.'s reactions are part of our common bonds.

The fact is they love us and love us deeply,not unconditionally. The fact that they are willing to be there for us through their confusion and their pain..gives us hope..although some times it is hell.......