Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Gender Roles And Assumptions


Guest cjnoble71

Recommended Posts

Guest cjnoble71

I'm curious to see what similar experiences people have had here. Ever since I came out and started living as Christine all the time people have insisted that certain things I do are not girly enough. Whether they mean to or not they are implying that this is somehow proof that I am not really TG and some have actually said that this is just a phase I am going through (really? I'm pushing 40. A "phase?")

I love my football. I don't see this as in anyway not girly, and I even point out that I learned my love of football from my mother who, of course was born with the right bits. I love comic books and role playing games (not many women in that latter group.) I enjoy all film which includes action films.

I sometimes feel like I have to list all the "girly" things I do: shoe shopping, crying at chick flicks, doting on kids, etc. to prove that I am feminine, which is silly (and admittedly my hang up.) As I said, I'd love to hear from others that have had similar problems, if for no other reason than to allow them to get it out. I have to admit, it feels good just committing this to (electronic) print.

Link to comment
  • Admin

People just want to hold you to some stereotypical image of what a woman is. That gives them an excuse

to ridicule you and say that they know better than you who you are.

Ignore those fools, Christine. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. YOU know who you are, and

that is Christine, a woman. If you are confident and show that confidence, and refuse to get defensive

and get into debates with ignorant people, then eventually they will stop doubting you.

Carolyn Marie

Link to comment
Guest Joanna Phipps
I'm curious to see what similar experiences people have had here. Ever since I came out and started living as Christine all the time people have insisted that certain things I do are not girly enough. Whether they mean to or not they are implying that this is somehow proof that I am not really TG and some have actually said that this is just a phase I am going through (really? I'm pushing 40. A "phase?")

I love my football. I don't see this as in anyway not girly, and I even point out that I learned my love of football from my mother who, of course was born with the right bits. I love comic books and role playing games (not many women in that latter group.) I enjoy all film which includes action films.

I sometimes feel like I have to list all the "girly" things I do: shoe shopping, crying at chick flicks, doting on kids, etc. to prove that I am feminine, which is silly (and admittedly my hang up.) As I said, I'd love to hear from others that have had similar problems, if for no other reason than to allow them to get it out. I have to admit, it feels good just committing this to (electronic) print.

When it comes down to it the only person you absolutely have to please is you. I am sure that others would have issues with some of my likes and dislikes, my favorite music types are Traditional and New Orleans Jazz, swing, and some of the stuff from around the Second War (The Andrews Sisters) I also happen to like that great female jazz vocalist, the late, Ella Fitzgerald. As far as tv goes I still like my documentaries. Maybe next time someone says that ask them to define what girly is; after all its hard to know if you fit the mould if nobody tells you what they think that mould is.

As long as you, and your therapist are happy with how things are going, and your not getting lauged at every 10 min thats all that really matters.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   8 Members, 0 Anonymous, 76 Guests (See full list)

    • VickySGV
    • Mmindy
    • Timi
    • MaybeRob
    • Abigail Genevieve
    • AllieJ
    • Kylie
    • SamC
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.6k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,120
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Amy Powell
    Newest Member
    Amy Powell
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Ctheone
      Ctheone
    2. EliMo_gaytor23
      EliMo_gaytor23
      (28 years old)
    3. Goose
      Goose
    4. Olivia47
      Olivia47
    5. QuestioningTaylor
      QuestioningTaylor
      (19 years old)
  • Posts

    • Timi
    • VickySGV
      Congratulations.  
    • BobbiSkunk
      Mine is just the feminine variant of my current first name, and Skunk.  Cause skunks rule.
    • BobbiSkunk
      Latest good recipe find? Lemme see...  I'm trying to recreate a local family restaurant's refried beans at home.  Right now it's kind of hit or miss (Mostly miss) on coming close to it.  Currently I'm tweaking the ratio of beans, bacon fat and smoked paprika and lime juice.  Current ingredients I've been able to sus out though are: Pinto beans, shredded colby jack cheese, bacon fat, smoked paprika, chipotle pepper flakes, diced onion, garlic and a lil bit of salt.  When I feel comfortable with the exact amounts, I'll update.  ^.^
    • KathyLauren
      I have Church of Scotland roots: my grandfather was a C of S minister.  So quite apart from my general happiness at reading some good news, this particular bit of good news makes me feel especially happy.  Thanks for sharing it, @DeeDee!
    • KathyLauren
      Mine shows no imagination at all: it is just my first and middle names.  
    • ClaireBloom
      I'm wearing some new pink reading glasses I bought the other day.  Even if I'm stuck in boymode I try to do something gender affirming every day. Pink readers, tinted lip balm, clear mascara. Anything I can.
    • Mmindy
      @KylieThank you for being open and honest about your experiences.    Congratulations and Hugs,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Kylie
      Hi all!    I’ve been here numerous years and followed discussions in the shadows. I began my medical transition in 2018. Lost a lot of friends and family, but grew so much along the way!    Fast forward to the surgical journey.   August 2020 - Vaginoplasty  I underwent my vaginoplasty in Austin TX during the start of COVID. It was a rough recovery. I suffered some separation of stitches which landed me having physical restrictions. I then began suffering from hypergranulation within my canal which led me to seeing the GYN twice a week for 13 weeks for silver nitrate treatments. The silver nitrate ended up causing stenosis which led to my next surgery.    April 2021 - Surgical Revision I had a revision of my vaginal canal which helped with dilation…for only 3 weeks! I underwent about 10 months of pelvic floor therapy to no avail. Dilation was near impossible. So this led to my next revision.    April 2022 - Revision and Breast Augmentation   This surgery I decided to do my breast augmentation concurrently. The breast augmentation went phenomenal, no pain, 575cc Silicone implants. Awesome results.    The vaginal revision, both my primary surgeon and an additional surgeon with expertise in complicated pelvic disorders performed the revision together.    immediately I felt amazing after with no issues dilating! I am now 2 years post final revision and have no issues dilating once a week and have sex with no problem!    March 2024- Facial Feminization Surgery   I decided to have FFS after much thought. I had it done at Duke University.  I had the following done:   -Type 3 forehead reconstruction and sinus setback -Cheek implants - Orbital contouring  - Sliding Genioplasty -Submental liposuction    Recovery was not bad. First 5 days were a tad sore and uncomfortable- but honestly minimal pain.      Surgeons Vaginoplasty- Dr. Ashley DeLeon Breast Augmentation- Dr. Gerhard Mundinger FFS- Dr. Elda Fisher    I’m happy to answer any questions!   Kylie     
    • Vidanjali
    • Carolyn Marie
      That's very lovely, @vidanjali, and very thoughtful.   Carolyn Marie
    • VickySGV
      Contrary to some recommendations we make for members, the Vicky part is just my legal FN and the SGV does give my home location within a few hundred square miles.  When I joined here the Vicky all by itself was taken so I had to add something else to it.
    • Vidanjali
      Vidanjali is a combination of the Sanskrit words "vidya" and "anjali". Vidya means intuitive knowledge or divine knowledge (where its antonym is ignorance) and anjali means offering. For example, in yoga, anjali mudra is the position of hands in prayer at the heart center. So, Vidanjali expresses my desire to be an instrument of illumination and goodwill in the world and to be of service to others.
    • Vidanjali
      My pleasure. I am looking forward to reading it too. I also recommend the Saslow book. Amazing story.   For all, here is the synopsis of Black's new book. Any you'll notice the use of they/them pronouns.   "When coded language and creeping authoritarianism spread the ideas of white nationalists, this is an essential book with a powerful voice. Derek Black was raised to take over the white nationalist movement in the United States. Their father, Don Black, was a former Grand Wizard in the Ku Klux Klan and started Stormfront, the internet’s first white supremacist website—Derek built the kids’ page. David Duke, was also their close family friend and mentor. Racist hatred, though often wrapped up in respectability, was all Derek knew.   Then, while in college in 2013, Derek publicly renounced white nationalism and apologized for their actions and the suffering that they had caused. The majority of their family stopped speaking to them, and they disappeared into academia, convinced that they had done so much harm that there was no place for them in public life. But in 2016, as they watched the rise of Donald Trump, they immediately recognized what they were hearing—the spread and mainstreaming of the hate they had helped cultivate—and they knew that they couldn’t stay silent. This is a thoughtful, insightful, and moving account of a singular life, with important lessons for our troubled times. Derek can trace a uniquely insider account of the rise of white nationalism, and how a child indoctrinated with hate can become an anti-racist adult. Few understand the ideology, motivations, or tactics of the white nationalist movement like Derek, and few have ever made so profound a change."
    • Sally Stone
      This is going on my read list.  Thanks for posting.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...